96 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
96 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
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### ###
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### ###
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### #### ### ### ### ####
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### ### ##### ### ###
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### ### ### ### ###
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### ### ##### ### ###
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########## ### ### ##########
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### ###
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### ###
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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####### ## ## ####### # # #### ####### #######
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ##
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#### ## ## #### # # ## ## #######
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ##
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## ## ####### ####### # # ###### ## #######
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[ How To Talk With ET's... ] [ By Budha & Greg Iloyd ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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HOW TO TALK WITH ET'S WITHOUT BEING MURDERED WITH RESONANT-RAMAN RAYS
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by BUDHA (without Nirvana) & GREG iloyd (without IQ)
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As you all can guess, RAMAN rays are produced in the inner sexual
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gonades of the extraterrestrial world's inhabitants. But we, human beings,
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are totally insensible for such radio-frequent love signal and it's
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interpreted as misapprehension. This make those extremely advanced
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creatures pissed off, and frequently leads to death or severe corporal
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damages.
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Now you are able to establish immediate third grade contacts.
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First step: The E.T.'s starship landed in your backyard.
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- Act as naturally as possible, try to show a pathetic smile (it's a
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universal language, two hypothesis can be considered here: they will
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love you as a Panda-bear or, if they are germanic descendants, you
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can initiate the World War Three, it's up to you to analyse the accent.)
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Second step: They ask you to use the toilets.
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- It's OK, because it's represents a first signal of excitation of
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female of any kind of living being (also your wife, off course,
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brrr...). Now any mortal would take a look at the keyhole. You've
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seen the females, their pussies are shining bright...Beware, these
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are the RAMAN rays! (You are immune to this sensual proof of well
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being) but beware, if you don't take sufficient care you could make
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love with an electronic photographic flash (what bright idea!)
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with several burns in your ...your family album.
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Third step, more dangerous: They get out of your toilets, they've just
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changed their TAMPAX and they are hornier.
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- You pretend indifference, try to talk to your dog and if you don't have
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one search for one. It's not necessary talkin' to a dog, you can talk
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to a cow, cat, rat, Mickey Mouse or any other stupid animal. Otherwise
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you can argue that you have a telephone call. The last hope is a
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physiological need like shitting.
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Last step: they went away.
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- They gave you one buck for cleaning service and got their ass out.
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The females were menstruated and radioactive vaginal secretions
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contaminated your W.C. (what a mess) That's not all, they were tourists
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and were space-sick.(Oh Thor!). But you are very happy, you could earn
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a Californium-coin of incalculable value and you lost 30 year of your
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life due to radioactivity diseases. You got a unique phosphorescent
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latrine too (the best souvenir you can get in your live). And don't
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forget, you must keep smiling with your pathetic face.
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CONCLUSION:
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You are an asshole because E.T's abused of your confidence. The
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conclusion is that they don't speak, they communicate by radio-
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frequency electromagnetic waves and make love with pulsated
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lasers. Sorry, boy.
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NOTE: Some recent and very confidential reports from NASA concerns
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about the strong signals received at 15,554.222 kHZ from deep space.
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Our bright researchers attribute such signals to spacial bacanal.
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N.B. All gays are curious.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #178 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #178
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Call LHD<48> -> +1-818-546-2332
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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