124 lines
7.1 KiB
Plaintext
124 lines
7.1 KiB
Plaintext
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uSu - united States underground By:Cyberglitch
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Totally cruel Anarchy
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Ok listen up this shit is ment to be seriously funny and really
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damaging to people's stuff and or people. If you do any of this shit, don't
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go blaming the shit on uSu.
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Ok here goes Totally cruel anarchy.
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1) Say there's someone you really hate, that has a car. Ok now do this,
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THING'S YOU'LL NEED:
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Gloves(something that's not cloth, get disposables)
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A plastic bag to put road kill in
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Fresh road kill, a dead or run over squirrel or chipmunk,
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whatever will do
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Some scotch tape
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A old tie that no one will care that's missing
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A pair of sunglasses(optional, not really nessary, but funny)
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A glass cutter
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A plunger(or something that you can suction glass with)
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WHAT TO DO:
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Ok first get your gloves and plastic bag ready and go out and
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find some dead road kill and pick it up wearing the gloves
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and put it in the bag.
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Next take the tie and put it around the road kill's neck like
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a person would wear one. You can put the sunglasses on to,
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just make sure there's no finger prints, after all you
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wouldn't wanna get caught doing this shit because of finger
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prints.
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Ok now place your road kill back in the bag, now go to your
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victim's car at night time! Now make sure that they don't
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have an alarm that goes off if you touch or move the steering
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wheel slighty, the drivers seat or if you remove the window.
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Now with the plunger suction it on the window. Then with the
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glass cutter cut out the glass and carefully remove the glass
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that it suctioned onto your plunger(or whatever). Then take
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that glass and put it down somewhere(remember no fingerprints
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unless you wanna get caught). Now with the tape take you road
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kills hands(or claws, whatever) and tape them to the steering
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whell(or glue them if you wish) as if the road kill where
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trying to drive this persons car. Then watch tommorrow morning
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(from a distance where they can't spot you) as the person who
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owns the car comes out and sees the road kill in his car,
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most people would probally just take the road kill out with
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the gloves. But the stench from the road kill being in there
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over night will be there for quite some time, Espeically if
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there maggot's and shit on the road kill already. Watch what
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they do, then laugh your head off :).
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2) In your school(if you go to school), go into the bathrooms when no ones
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in there, usally after school is good, just make sure no one sees you
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going in so they can't blame the shit you're about to do on you. Ok
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when you go in, make sure you got'ta take a leak(no not a crap, i
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wouldn't trust any toliet that being used by more than 4 people).
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Then go up to the toliet, and start to take a leak, but what's this
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you accidentlly relieved yourself, but no of the urine made it into
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the toliet, ah what the hell piss on the walls, the toliet handles
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hell even do it to the door. Then those cheesy toliet paper dispeners
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take one and open it(or if you have a toliet paper roll take if off
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the wall), and drop in it the toliet. Do this for each stall, so when
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someone has to take a crap they have nothing but their hands to wipe
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their asses with. What this a sink in the bathroom, well we can't
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have that now, ok do this, clog up the sink, and any other holes that
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remove water from the sink, then turn on the water and let it
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overflow. Hell if you wan't to take a dump in the sink. Bring like a
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toothpick and stick in the shit and make it look like a little white
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flag. Then calmly leave the bathroom like as if nothing happened, then
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when you get home laugh your fucking head off as some poor janitor now
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has to clean after you going to the bathroom.
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3) During one of those boring as hell school assembly come into the place
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where they meet reaking and releasing some fowl body orders. Then
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when you get your seat, pick your nose and start wiping your finger
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with that really big bogger on it on someone else seats. Watch them
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either get sick or just leave. What's that you have the 3 day old
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piece of gum in your mouth, well if you school has those nice cloth
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seats, take the gum and smear into the cloth. Watch the janitors
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scream and cry like all hell becuase they have to take that shit out.
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During the assembly scream out stuff like "BOY THAT WAS A STINKY",
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"WHOA DID SOMETHING DIE IN HERE", "UHHH CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PASS THE
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GREY POPUNE", "IF WE USED UP ALL OUR SICK DAYS MAY WE CALL IN DEAD?",
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"HEY THAT PERSON OVER THERE ISN'T FAT, JUST SEVERLY GRAVITY IMPAIRED",
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"OOPS, SORRY ABOUT TAKING A DUMP IN MY SEAT", "HEY PULL MY FINGER!",
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"HEY I'M HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT A HORSE, GEUSS IT'S TIME TO GO TO BURGER
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KING". Have fun dammit
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4) If you're really fucking crazy, on school the next day right on your chest
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"Anarchy Rulez" and then run around your school naked or with no
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shirt on.
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5) With a friend who has a car, buy like a crate of Snapple(the good shit,
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nothing like the Lipton or Nestea Crap), drive and drink a couple of
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the bottles, then with the empty bottles roll down your window and
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have fun. Take the bottle chuck them at cars, windows, houses, hell
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even people, and to make it even more funny and nasty, take a leak
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in the bottle, cap it, and then chuck it at something, WHOA what a
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stench. Have fun with this one, just make sure you don't drive to
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fast, you wouldn't wan't a cop to stop you and try and take you in
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for disorderly conduct would you?
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6) Go to your nearest play ground and harass the kids their, tell them you
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wan't to make love and stuff with them. Take those crappy swings and
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wind them up onto of the pole so no one can use. Jam the merri-go
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round wheels and teater totters. Get a dead road kill and tape it
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onto the slides there.
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7) Go around your neighborhood and knock people's mailboxs of the posts
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and put them in the middle of the street for cars to run over.
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10) Pour some lye or other bad tasting shit into your teachers coffee
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11) Go into the class you hate the most and relieve yourself in the corner,
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hell even take a dump while your at it, and make sure you smear it
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on the teachers desk.
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Look out for more cool and funny shit to do in later releases.
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