2275 lines
62 KiB
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2275 lines
62 KiB
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<20><> <20> <20> <20> <20> Ŀ
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<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20>
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<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> <20><> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD>
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<20><> <20><>
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<20> electronic literary 'zine <20>
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*<2A><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>*
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<20> <20>Ĵ volume four <20><><EFBFBD> <20>
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*<2A><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>*
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stop plagiarism - let out your soul
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Copyright 4/95
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<20> <20><>compiled & edited by Twilight<68><74> <20>
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<EFBFBD> Table of Contents <20>
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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1. A Funny Guy - Ralph Cherubini
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2. About A Girl I Spent Two Weeks With In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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- C.E. Nelson
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3. Bird Poop - William Kwok
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4. Blank - Jason D. Lee
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5. Bliss - Ray
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6. Cobain's Final Lesson - Stephen Lush
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7. Consumed In Flames - Angie Huffman
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8. Desert Sky - Sdnaik@iastate.edu
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9. Doll Parts - Courtney Love
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10. Dry - Cloie
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11. Hidden Rooms - James V. Scibetta
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12. Hurt Me Again - Jamie Stokes
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13. Hurting You Back - E. Ann
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14. I Thought We Might Get Closer... - Tucker Latham
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15. Ice - Therese Leigh Stamm
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16. If You Keep A Rat In A Cage - Michael McNeilley
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17. Il Girasole (The Sunflower) - Eugenio Montale
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18. Introvert - Todd Knight
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19. Journal: V. - Karen Y. Chan
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20. Madrigal - Sue Lee Katherine Troutman
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21. Memories Of Love - Kim Clemente
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22. Mingling - Todd Knight
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23. Moon Dancing - Terry Schorer
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24. Musings - Damya
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25. My Ballerina - Surfohio@mailbox.iwaynet.net
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26. Poetry In Motion - Michael Johnson
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27. Post To Me: The Purpose Of Poetry + Poem: Domestic Violets
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- Eu-Ming Lee
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28. Remembering - J.L. Dowd
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29. River - C.E. Nelson
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30. Rock Star (Alternate Version) - Courtney Love
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31. Sexual Dreams - Max@computek.net
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32. Sinners - John Anguish
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33. Someone Reading This - John Quill Taylor
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34. Teenage Angst - Jason D. Lee
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35. 10 Months - C.E. Nelson
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36. The Boy Who Dances With Waves - Midori
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37. The Joker - Ray
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38. The Time Has Come - Mike 'Chupa' Christensen
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39. This Music Burns - Chuck deVarennes
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40. Tomorrow - Carlo G. D'Agostino
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41. Twilight Shadows - James V. Scibetta
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42. Untitled - Eu-Ming Lee
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43. Untitled - Steve Marra
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44. Untitled - Ray
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45. Wind - Jim Higdon
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46. Written In Lights - A.C. Missias
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<EFBFBD> Including Quotes From:
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"Forrest Gump", Courtney Love, Anne Rice, William Shakespeare
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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A Funny Guy
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<EFBFBD> Ralph Cherubini
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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he was a funny guy.
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when we were kids we would pull all kinds of pranks on him
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he was very regular
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same time same place every morning after breakfast
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once we hid all the toilet paper in the basement
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he just went out on the backyard lawn
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naked
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and stood in the rain for 16 minutes.
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we timed him.
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another time we hid all his underwear
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we peeked from the closet as he put on his trousers without any.
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one day our dog died
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my sister and I cried and cried
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he crawled into our room on all fours panting
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and we pretended he was still alive.
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I still think of him as a dog
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or cat
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or any number of things
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and I am sorry
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now
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that we made fun of him
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but I know it was all
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all of it
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part of the game.
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about a girl i spent two weeks
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with in philadelphia, pennsylvania
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<EFBFBD> C.E. Nelson
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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she threw me out after two weeks.
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she said she loved me but had had enough.
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she was pretty hip, ate tofu, wore big
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city clothes and took big city steps.
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she read tarot cards constantly.
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she said the cards didn't like me.
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she said i had to go.
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she said, i love you but you have to go.
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she also said, i can't have you here.
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so i left.
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i left on the amtrak
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from 30th street station
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at three pm on a thursday.
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i didn't tell her i was leaving yet.
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she cried when she got home, they informed me.
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then, becca called me and cried some more.
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i don't know why she did that.
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she did it again the next night but
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i had caught on by then.
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you miss me? i asked.
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yes.
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want me to come back?
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no.
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are you sure?
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no... yes.
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i didn't go back.
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i wanted to go back
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but i didn't.
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i don't know why i wanted to - maybe it was the city.
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philadelphia was a nice city.
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each and
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every day i would take the subway
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to south street
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and roam the long blocks
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of trendy shops and restaurants
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feasting on steak sandwiches and blowing
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cigarettes, thinking poetically
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about nothing;
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about the blonde hooker in chinatown;
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about the liberty bell
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and ben franklin's grave.
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it must have been the city.
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it might have been the girl.
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maybe i just needed a vacation...
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maybe
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maybe
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maybe.
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Bird Poop
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<EFBFBD> William Kwok
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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birdy birdy
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up in the sky
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why did you poop
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on my eye?
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did you do it
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out of ill will?
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or did you do it
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for a cheap thrill?
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your little gift
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left quite a stink
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thanks for nothing
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you fine-feathered fink
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next time we meet
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what a delightful surprise
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simply because
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it'll be your demise
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one last question
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one last lie
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that's all you'll get
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before you DIE!
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Blank
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<EFBFBD> Jason D. Lee
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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And I am blank
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no words to guide the blind
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for they are blind by anger and sorrow
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Blank because I have no emotion -
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been there, done that
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can't do that again.
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Almost killed myself the first time.
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Can't do that again.
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I love him.
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I love her.
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I love the picture we make.
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I love us.
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I love my dreams.
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I love our reality.
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I love you.
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I don't know what love is any more.
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We are all in an uproar.
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It is our fault?
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Fuck you.
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You are as lost as I am.
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the sad thing is: you just don't know it.
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So we sit.
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And drink.
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And find some sort of solice in our music.
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And drink.
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And talk about What Might Have Been.
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And drink.
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And sleep.
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And laugh.
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But on the inside:
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We shed the tears that cannot fall over our cheeks.
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We think and think and think and think.
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Never resolving anything, just wasting time.
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Because, you know, time heals all wounds.
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I am living proof of that.
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And the thing we love to do the most to ourselves -
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and no one even suspects:
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We beat ourselves up.
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Whipping.
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Slashing.
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Beating.
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Training.
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Killing our own internal puppies.
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I know.
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I have killed my own puppies for over 20 years now.
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But of course I had some help.
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We are blind, don't you see?
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We live in our own little worlds that rarely collide,
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and when they do meet -
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we say "excuse me" and go on.
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Blind.
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Blind.
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blind.
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b ind.
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b ind
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b in
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in
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n
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Bliss
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<EFBFBD> ray
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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Leaning from side to side
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Groping a crowded hall
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Wrists and ankles tied
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Smashing heads on the wall.
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Acid eating the eyes
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Hope shredding the skin
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A throat slit by cries
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Suffer trapped within.
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Malice soothing the mind
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Vomiting lies on the floor
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Supremacy to the kind
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And all that is all to abhor.
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The gruesome under a veil
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To abominate at birth
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A smile pinned by a nail
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Repulsed by no self-worth.
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Foaming tears at the mouth
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Licking up pitified spit
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Poor man builds his house
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In a rat-infested pit.
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Excreting dreams in the sewer
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Sleeps in a puddle of piss
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Atrocity couldn't be truer
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Loathing a rich man's bliss.
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Cobain's Final Lesson
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<EFBFBD> Stephen Lush
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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artist and attention-getter
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lend me your soul in
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a chord or two -
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you made meaning from sonic electricity
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some hear ugly hate
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but i see beyond your middle finger
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trend hater, trend maker
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angry and wild, a fragile child
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you said "I do not want what I have got"
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proved it true with one shot
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now what's done can't be taken back
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"out of the blue and into the black"
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now heaven, hell, or void will have its way with you
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unaffected fans remain few
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the average self-death affects six, yours a billion and two
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what about those two
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did they mean nothing to you?
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anger fills my heart
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at a life whose I was never a part
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hey
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wait...
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no, it's too late
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love your friends by living,
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"through this"
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please.
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(dedicated to those who haven't folded)
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"He's stupid; I'm smarting... I want my baby, where is the baby, I want my
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baby, they took my baby..." <20> Courtney Love
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Consumed In Flames
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<EFBFBD> Angie Huffman
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|||
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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|||
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The burn of desire
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|||
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It lingers on and on
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The softly flaming fire
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|||
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Even after you are gone
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Only mere reminders
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|||
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Are these scars upon my soul
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The scorching flames keep rising
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|||
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As the heat begins to lull
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My heart so full of longing
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|||
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The distance is so far
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I reach for your desire
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Holding on to a prison bar
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Trapped inside four walls
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|
Set me free my heart proclaims
|
|||
|
But the passion just keeps searing
|
|||
|
Consumed forever in flames
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Desert Sky
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Sdnaik@iastate.edu
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Waiting...
|
|||
|
Waiting in the
|
|||
|
starless desert sky
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The cold winds of time
|
|||
|
shifting the dreams dunes
|
|||
|
along with it.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Streaks of pale moonlight
|
|||
|
creeping around me
|
|||
|
As I see the mirages
|
|||
|
again - visions of being there
|
|||
|
Hopes beyond hope
|
|||
|
Dreams despite illusions.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Drifting along
|
|||
|
I wish I could return;
|
|||
|
pause for some laughter
|
|||
|
such an oasis reach.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The pain recedes
|
|||
|
only to return
|
|||
|
Can I see her again?
|
|||
|
Can I hear her please?
|
|||
|
Beyond the silent darkness
|
|||
|
when the sun rises again
|
|||
|
in this dark desert sky.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Doll Parts
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I am doll eyes
|
|||
|
Doll mouth, doll legs
|
|||
|
I am doll arms, big veins, dog bait
|
|||
|
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do
|
|||
|
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, but I do too
|
|||
|
I want to be the girl with the most cake
|
|||
|
I love him so much it just turns to hate
|
|||
|
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
|
|||
|
And someday, you will ache like I ache
|
|||
|
Someday, you will ache like I ache
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I am doll parts
|
|||
|
Bad skin, doll heart
|
|||
|
It stands for knife
|
|||
|
For the rest of my life
|
|||
|
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do
|
|||
|
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, but I do, too
|
|||
|
I want to be the girl with the most cake
|
|||
|
He only loves those things because he loves to see them break
|
|||
|
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
|
|||
|
And someday, you will ache like I ache
|
|||
|
Someday you will ache like I ache
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"I wish I could find more help in terms of people that have gone through
|
|||
|
it, 'cause people that have gone through it aren't interested in the
|
|||
|
celebrity quality of me. And if you haven't noticed, there's quite a
|
|||
|
large discrepancy between my celebrity and the band. You know? And
|
|||
|
that's really gross. I feel like Cher. You know? It's like, you pay
|
|||
|
attention to what I'm wearing, but, like, somebody buy my record, 'cause
|
|||
|
it's an O.K. new wave record, please." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Dry
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Cloie
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the poet is dry
|
|||
|
the heart is shallow
|
|||
|
dank, with storms of empty thought
|
|||
|
she regurgitates the numbness
|
|||
|
into catchy clich<63>s
|
|||
|
poetry appraised
|
|||
|
the debris of an unsound mind
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
so through and through
|
|||
|
the soul sheds its contents
|
|||
|
like a snake would its skin
|
|||
|
coil and lash out
|
|||
|
repress and purge
|
|||
|
but you're soon to find
|
|||
|
that it molds over time
|
|||
|
decomposed into forgotten drama
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
so i rummage through my history
|
|||
|
all spilled out
|
|||
|
like clotted blood
|
|||
|
upon the foundation of my being
|
|||
|
the trials of my heart
|
|||
|
recorded and kept
|
|||
|
in this base form of symbolism
|
|||
|
the connection of noun upon adjective
|
|||
|
replaces the heavy tears
|
|||
|
the swollen eyes
|
|||
|
the linguistics of love
|
|||
|
the grammar of aggression
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
my interior liquidated
|
|||
|
running swiftly through pen and ink
|
|||
|
and it blots and smudges
|
|||
|
as this heart flows
|
|||
|
simultaneously with the slate of hand
|
|||
|
creation crutch
|
|||
|
for i've said too much
|
|||
|
and forgotten to feel
|
|||
|
when the moment was real
|
|||
|
so now it's all past
|
|||
|
and the scroll ages before my eyes
|
|||
|
the heart is shallow
|
|||
|
the poet is dry
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Hidden Rooms
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> James V. Scibetta
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Come with me and we shall find
|
|||
|
Hidden rooms within your mind
|
|||
|
Ancient galleries of thoughts and dreams
|
|||
|
Thundering waterfalls and crystal streams
|
|||
|
Foilage thick with healing powers
|
|||
|
Marble mountains and golden towers
|
|||
|
Where time and space no longer exist
|
|||
|
Where past and future turn to mist
|
|||
|
Contentment and serenity flowing free
|
|||
|
As you and I explore eternity.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Hurt Me Again
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Jamie Stokes
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Happy birthday to you
|
|||
|
how should I celebrate
|
|||
|
should I send a card
|
|||
|
with a nice gift
|
|||
|
no- you'd prefer me
|
|||
|
tied in a ribbon
|
|||
|
at the age of five
|
|||
|
will a nice picture do
|
|||
|
to quench your hunger
|
|||
|
or do you have to hurt me again
|
|||
|
hurt me again?
|
|||
|
but you haven't stopped
|
|||
|
each day I cry another tear or two
|
|||
|
each day I long to forget your face
|
|||
|
to forget your taste
|
|||
|
your smell
|
|||
|
to forget you
|
|||
|
but you hurt me again
|
|||
|
each day
|
|||
|
you rape me
|
|||
|
you never did-
|
|||
|
oh you wanted to
|
|||
|
but I would scream
|
|||
|
I screamed once
|
|||
|
you hurt me
|
|||
|
hurt me again
|
|||
|
and again
|
|||
|
make me feel you inside of me
|
|||
|
maybe I'll lose the fear
|
|||
|
maybe I'll lose the care
|
|||
|
Maybe I'll be able to hate you
|
|||
|
hurt me again
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
(in celebration of the birthday of the person who
|
|||
|
is my eternal tormentor, and who has caused much
|
|||
|
pain in my life, but who I still can not harbor
|
|||
|
any feelings of hatred. That emotion, it seems,
|
|||
|
alludes me. Am I blessed or cursed?)
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
hurting you back
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> E. Ann
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i hate you when you hurt me
|
|||
|
- i try to hurt you back
|
|||
|
but i can't be that cold.
|
|||
|
i hate you when i feel the
|
|||
|
stupid
|
|||
|
weak
|
|||
|
tearstains on my sheets,
|
|||
|
tears i've wasted on you.
|
|||
|
my eyes are swollen
|
|||
|
and my heart burns
|
|||
|
and it's all because of you.
|
|||
|
i hate when you call me
|
|||
|
"her" name
|
|||
|
and then call it a mistake,
|
|||
|
instead of the slap of pain it really is.
|
|||
|
i hate when you apologize
|
|||
|
and sound so
|
|||
|
sad
|
|||
|
and desperate,
|
|||
|
and i give in.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i hate you when you hurt me
|
|||
|
and i can't make myself hurt you back.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i thought we might get closer...
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Tucker Latham
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
my fingers glide with the fluid ease of familiarity over the letters...
|
|||
|
twilight
|
|||
|
but where joy would fill my heart with its warmth after typing it not so
|
|||
|
long ago, now the empty, aching space left by its absence is overwhelmed
|
|||
|
by trepidation...
|
|||
|
i try to force back the memories, the pictures, the thoughts that ran
|
|||
|
rampant through my mind, threatening to take my sanity with each and every
|
|||
|
passing moment...
|
|||
|
but i realize that i have not brushed it off. a voice that once evoked
|
|||
|
calm, reassurance, comfort, a feeling of love and being loved, need and
|
|||
|
being needed, wanting and being wanted whispers from the void that has,
|
|||
|
without warning, filled my immediate area with silence and darkness.
|
|||
|
`true love never dies...`
|
|||
|
how those words once brought me comfort...
|
|||
|
now... how they smack of betrayal.
|
|||
|
...perfidy
|
|||
|
my knuckles turn white with agony as i clench my fists as hard as i can...
|
|||
|
keeping with the hierarchy of needs, the simple, physical pain distracts
|
|||
|
me as the carefully-manicured guitar-pick fingernails on my right hand
|
|||
|
cut into my palm.
|
|||
|
screaming in torment as my relentless mind returns to its anguish, i
|
|||
|
curl up and begin to cry. tears track their salty course down my face as
|
|||
|
i weep with abandon, focused on the loss.
|
|||
|
...treachery
|
|||
|
searching for an answer, i cast my gaze accusingly at the moonlit,
|
|||
|
starry sky, and, with tears clouding my vision, utter a single demand...
|
|||
|
a solitary question...
|
|||
|
`why`
|
|||
|
with no answer forthcoming, i curl up on my pallet, once a theater of
|
|||
|
comfort, now cursed with the numbing bleakness of solitude...
|
|||
|
i hope... i hope i will fall asleep soon... Because... in silence
|
|||
|
there is only one thing i can think about.
|
|||
|
my throat is hurting with the ceaseless sobbing. i think back to a time
|
|||
|
when i had solace...
|
|||
|
a pair of arms, that when wrapped around me would take away all my pains
|
|||
|
and deny the assembled catastrophes of the day their significance...
|
|||
|
a shoulder, which would soak up my falling tears, and with them, my
|
|||
|
fear, my doubt; replacing them with hope, meaning... be...longing...
|
|||
|
a pair of lips, that when curved upward in a welcoming, comforting,
|
|||
|
beautiful smile, said `i love you` without parting...
|
|||
|
a pair of eyes... looking into mine own with concern... loving me.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
picking up my instrument, i begin to play the song i wrote for her...
|
|||
|
it is at once beautiful, chaotic, enigmatic...
|
|||
|
and its beauty reminds me of her.
|
|||
|
as i play, i realize that strangely, although i am deeply saddened, i
|
|||
|
retain some hope... for the song is not complete.
|
|||
|
once again, perhaps, it shall slip back into its rhapsodic beauty...
|
|||
|
this time, filled with knowledge of the pitfalls ahead and borne with
|
|||
|
the skills to surmount them.
|
|||
|
learning to love.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"And just remember: this is all bullshit. And I'm laying in our bed, and I'm
|
|||
|
really sorry. And I feel the same way you do. I'm really sorry, you guys.
|
|||
|
I don't know what I could have done. I wish I'd been here. I wish I hadn't
|
|||
|
listened to other people, but I did." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Ice
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Therese Leigh Stamm
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I came as a bride to the cold country,
|
|||
|
brought all my warmth from the sea.
|
|||
|
Then, each morning, with him gone,
|
|||
|
I left the cabin alone, climbed the mountain
|
|||
|
to where Lone Pine Ridge breaches the sky,
|
|||
|
and beyond -- up the deerpaths
|
|||
|
to the old sheepherder's racked hut, past
|
|||
|
the high meadows, to the crest
|
|||
|
(impossible to see from below)
|
|||
|
where the wind howled lost
|
|||
|
in the stand of ragged lodgepole pines, where
|
|||
|
only the red-tailed hawk and golden
|
|||
|
eagle come this high, searching for prey
|
|||
|
down the backside into the valley below.
|
|||
|
With the noon sun slinking across cloudless
|
|||
|
skies, I passed the great horned owl
|
|||
|
who lives in the tallest pine, sheltered
|
|||
|
in the west side of the mountain
|
|||
|
above the crags, above the cavern.
|
|||
|
Flushed from his nest in the daylight,
|
|||
|
he brushed my cheek with his wingtips,
|
|||
|
letting me feel his force. A warning.
|
|||
|
I followed the path of the mountain goat
|
|||
|
and learned to track the stalking cougar
|
|||
|
to her lair in the rifted canyon, and
|
|||
|
walk with the deer on their silent march
|
|||
|
down the hills to drink in the sunset river.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
When he came home, I led him up
|
|||
|
the moontracked path to feel
|
|||
|
the fresh snow fall. I pushed him down
|
|||
|
on the hardpack, unzipped his jeans
|
|||
|
and took what I thought was mine,
|
|||
|
tender and white, the snowflakes
|
|||
|
settling on our naked skin, melting
|
|||
|
in my heat. I fucked him in the icy forest
|
|||
|
clearing, surprising him, startling him
|
|||
|
like a caught deer, shagged by the shank.
|
|||
|
He fell in the snow, victim of my desire,
|
|||
|
unwilling, but captured,
|
|||
|
and the ice of his heart
|
|||
|
never melted
|
|||
|
as his body complied.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
He told the boys in the bar
|
|||
|
his wife is a sexual predator,
|
|||
|
become the weird woman of the hills. Wild,
|
|||
|
she brought her beachy ways
|
|||
|
where they don't belong.
|
|||
|
"Complex as a shell, she could wind you
|
|||
|
in her convoluted circles if you aren't careful."
|
|||
|
"You can't give an inch or she'll take it all,"
|
|||
|
they agreed. "A woman has to learn
|
|||
|
her place -- and that's in the kitchen,
|
|||
|
not yearning for the high
|
|||
|
wild country that belongs to men."
|
|||
|
"A man has things to do
|
|||
|
that don't involve a woman --
|
|||
|
buddy hunting and bragging,
|
|||
|
drinking strong liquor,
|
|||
|
testing his strength with the girls in town,
|
|||
|
and he doesn't need to come home
|
|||
|
'til the playing is through."
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I felt myself captured
|
|||
|
by the blue willow china on the shelves,
|
|||
|
surrounded by crockery, polished copper pots,
|
|||
|
the tyranny of mops and sponges, the dinner's demands
|
|||
|
and the cold demeanor of the man come home.
|
|||
|
I couldn't claw my way inside
|
|||
|
his maleness, firm and rigid, unwilling,
|
|||
|
and when he stayed in town 'til the bars closed
|
|||
|
or 'til he sobered up on someone's couch,
|
|||
|
day into evening and night into day
|
|||
|
as I waited in long white nights,
|
|||
|
I began to feel myself turn to ice.
|
|||
|
I never thought any more of the boys on the beach
|
|||
|
running and singing into the night
|
|||
|
unhurried, with their warm beer waiting,
|
|||
|
swimming in the tepid waves
|
|||
|
and feeling their hot tongues
|
|||
|
coming like fishes.
|
|||
|
I felt my skin grow cold in the lapland wind
|
|||
|
and made my bed alone in the snow,
|
|||
|
and watched my wildness freeze in cold summer.
|
|||
|
I no longer followed where the cougar stalks
|
|||
|
or played the trail of the deer; the owl
|
|||
|
was safe from my intrusions.
|
|||
|
I thought,
|
|||
|
no wonder lemmings throw themselves into the sea,
|
|||
|
hopeless. this is a cold country --
|
|||
|
where the ice of desire
|
|||
|
imprisoned
|
|||
|
envelops
|
|||
|
all.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
If You Keep A Rat In A Cage
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Michael McNeilley
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
If you keep a rat in a cage
|
|||
|
the rat will lose the impulse to bite you.
|
|||
|
Will take food from your hand gently, before
|
|||
|
running away with it, back into the corner.
|
|||
|
Will climb above on the perches
|
|||
|
like a bird in the night.
|
|||
|
Will race to the cage door in the dark
|
|||
|
and watch you pass, hoping.
|
|||
|
Will press its face against the bars,
|
|||
|
against the floor as you pet it, as you
|
|||
|
stroke it kindly with one finger.
|
|||
|
Will perch on your shoulder, and run around
|
|||
|
inside your coat, and try not to
|
|||
|
piss on you.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
If you keep a rat in a cage, and you leave
|
|||
|
your best wool sweater there too close by,
|
|||
|
the rat will drag it in, pull it through
|
|||
|
the narrow opening between the bars
|
|||
|
with a strength that seems supernatural,
|
|||
|
and tear the crap out of it,
|
|||
|
pull the shreds together in a huge rat's nest
|
|||
|
and sleep in it, happily shrouded in
|
|||
|
closeness to you.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
If you keep a rat in a cage, there is no guarantee
|
|||
|
the rat will come to love you, but
|
|||
|
chances are good. As is the likelihood the rat
|
|||
|
will be authentic in its affection;
|
|||
|
will be constant and return good treatment
|
|||
|
in kind. And if the rat escapes,
|
|||
|
the chance is strong it will return
|
|||
|
from beneath the eaves, chattering,
|
|||
|
turning its head to one side,
|
|||
|
showing one red rat eye, unblinking,
|
|||
|
entreating, freedom is not so much,
|
|||
|
take me back in.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"I may not be the smartest man around, but I do know what love is."
|
|||
|
<20> "Forrest Gump"
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Il Girasole (The Sunflower)
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Eugenio Montale
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Portami il girasole ch'io lo trapianti
|
|||
|
nel mio terreno bruciato dal salino,
|
|||
|
e mostri tutto il giorno agli azzurri specchianti
|
|||
|
del cielo l'ansieta` del suo volto giallino.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Tendono alla chiarita` le cose oscure,
|
|||
|
si esauriscono i corpi in un fluire
|
|||
|
di tinte: queste in musiche. Svanire
|
|||
|
e` dunque la ventura delle venture.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Portami tu la pianta che conduce
|
|||
|
dove sorgono bionde trasparenze
|
|||
|
e vapora la vita quale essenza;
|
|||
|
portami il girasole impazzito di luce.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Bring me the sunflower that I will transplant
|
|||
|
in my garden soil parched by salt,
|
|||
|
let it turn all day long, its face
|
|||
|
to the flashing azure sky, yellow yearning.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Things born in shadow yearn towards light,
|
|||
|
long to swim in a torrent of color, of music;
|
|||
|
to disappear thus is the goal of all adventure.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
So bring to me, with your own hands, the plant
|
|||
|
that turns forever towards the source
|
|||
|
of transparence and light, where life vaporizes
|
|||
|
to its essence; bring me
|
|||
|
the sunflower, in love with the light.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Introvert
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Todd Knight
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
They
|
|||
|
say "the
|
|||
|
eyes are the
|
|||
|
window to the
|
|||
|
soul."
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
That would
|
|||
|
explain why
|
|||
|
I
|
|||
|
never
|
|||
|
make
|
|||
|
eye
|
|||
|
contact.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
journal: V.
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Karen Y. Chan
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
an ice-cream parlor
|
|||
|
way up there
|
|||
|
plastic seats
|
|||
|
and marble tables
|
|||
|
you licked my chocolate
|
|||
|
the way i adore
|
|||
|
and saw your nose wrinkle
|
|||
|
but i didn't like your vanilla
|
|||
|
vanilla peace
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
don't think you recall
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the place at the corner
|
|||
|
with the dumplings round
|
|||
|
and tea oiling the rims
|
|||
|
of those generic cups
|
|||
|
it was dark
|
|||
|
and the plastic rose
|
|||
|
covered our mouths
|
|||
|
chewing air like
|
|||
|
silent food
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
wish you knew
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the street lights flickered
|
|||
|
fireflies in the damp night
|
|||
|
wetting our palms sticky
|
|||
|
stairs as we walked up
|
|||
|
not looking
|
|||
|
until we reached second floor
|
|||
|
walked through your door
|
|||
|
and held on all night
|
|||
|
night hungers
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i wanted to eat with you.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Madrigal
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Sue Lee Katherine Troutman
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I dream
|
|||
|
of the balmy nights
|
|||
|
beneath the palm trees
|
|||
|
swaying
|
|||
|
in the Caribbean breeze
|
|||
|
the last lights
|
|||
|
of sunset
|
|||
|
creating
|
|||
|
sensual definitions
|
|||
|
to the contour
|
|||
|
of your moistened lips
|
|||
|
the smell of the ocean
|
|||
|
the body heat
|
|||
|
the pounding of the waves
|
|||
|
the rhythm of your heartbeat
|
|||
|
musk and mambo
|
|||
|
like aphrodisiacs
|
|||
|
sultry
|
|||
|
swaying
|
|||
|
to the drumming of the night
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Memories Of Love
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Kim Clemente
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I'm quiet today, I'm silenced today.
|
|||
|
I remember what the peace felt like,
|
|||
|
I remember the gentle smile that you
|
|||
|
Gave each time I entered the room.
|
|||
|
The same hospital room. The last
|
|||
|
Time I got to say I love you.
|
|||
|
Do you remember, Grandma, that I sat
|
|||
|
There with you from the minute I woke up
|
|||
|
Until the moment I put my weary head to rest?
|
|||
|
I was in good spirits then, I tried
|
|||
|
To make you laugh, and we watched
|
|||
|
All those stupid t.v. shows, and distant
|
|||
|
Relatives came to be with you, came to see you
|
|||
|
Before you left. And you said you only wanted
|
|||
|
To live to see me graduate, your first
|
|||
|
Grandchild to go this far, your
|
|||
|
Proud and shining star. I made sure you
|
|||
|
Could still drink your tea, one-half
|
|||
|
Teaspoon of sugar and me, trying not to melt
|
|||
|
The straw you had to drink it through.
|
|||
|
I remember the strength you gave me,
|
|||
|
The encouragement and the love to help
|
|||
|
See me through, when I could do nothing
|
|||
|
For you.
|
|||
|
So this May (may I make it that far),
|
|||
|
I will graduate for two.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"We vow to weep seas, live in fire, eat rocks, tame tigers... This is the
|
|||
|
monstrosity in love." <20> "Troilus", Shakespeare's 'Troilus and Cressida'
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Mingling
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Todd Knight
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Well I don't want attention
|
|||
|
(I just want to be noticed)
|
|||
|
and I don't want to be loved
|
|||
|
(I just want to be wanted)
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
and it hurts to be a finger
|
|||
|
on a crippled, arthritic hand.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
And I don't dislike all people
|
|||
|
(just the ones I notice)
|
|||
|
and I don't disdain communication
|
|||
|
(I just don't like to talk)
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
and it hurts to be a player
|
|||
|
with no adoring fans.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
And I don't always act so vain
|
|||
|
(just when I think I'm noticed)
|
|||
|
and I don't distrust all women
|
|||
|
(just the ones I've come to know)
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
and it hurts to be a cadaver
|
|||
|
that's forever named John Doe.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"The pain is a deep dark sea in which I would drown if I did not sail my
|
|||
|
little craft steadily over the surface, steadily towards a sun that will
|
|||
|
never rise." <20> Anne Rice, 'The Tale of the Body Thief'
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Moon Dancing
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Terry Schorer
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Sister moon's shining radiance
|
|||
|
inspires this dance tonight.
|
|||
|
Arms flung out and up,
|
|||
|
head back, hair flowing,
|
|||
|
twirling to her inner music,
|
|||
|
feet flying a race of joy.
|
|||
|
My eyes are dreamstruck,
|
|||
|
My smile, a mist of yearning,
|
|||
|
as I spin to her gentle piping.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Star dancing
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Racing for the sky, I soar,
|
|||
|
spinning amongst the stars,
|
|||
|
wings wrapped about me,
|
|||
|
as I listen to their fluting song.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Their radiant light fills my soul,
|
|||
|
shining from my prismed body,
|
|||
|
as my dance takes me into
|
|||
|
the universe...exploding...
|
|||
|
into fragmented points of light,
|
|||
|
raining down on mother earth,
|
|||
|
in homage.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Musings
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Damya
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I just had an Epiphany - life is beautiful. "Way to go, Damya, you're
|
|||
|
just frothing at the mouth with those great insights, aren't you?" O.K.,
|
|||
|
O.K., so what I'm saying isn't exactly a refreshing, entirely novel idea.
|
|||
|
In fact, I'm certain that thousands of brilliant minds before me have told
|
|||
|
of the same conclusion, and with greater eloquence, yet despite that, I am
|
|||
|
struck by this utterly obvious yet often overlooked thought.
|
|||
|
Think about it, how often does the average person take the time to
|
|||
|
stop running around on this hamster wheel of life and really, truly breathe?
|
|||
|
Try it. Close your eyes, and take in a slow, deep breath of fresh air.
|
|||
|
Feel your lungs expanding in that miraculous manner. Now hold it in. Keep
|
|||
|
holding, and when your lungs begin to burn and your brain screams at you to
|
|||
|
breathe, THEN you should realize how precious the ability to breathe is.
|
|||
|
After that exercise, you probably agree with me that breathing is an
|
|||
|
essential part of life. Based on that premise, why is it so few of us think
|
|||
|
about breathing? The answer is simple; we are too caught up in the petty
|
|||
|
parts of our existences, generally forgetting to enjoy the simpler, but
|
|||
|
often most gratifying experiences of life.
|
|||
|
Recently I was bored, so I decided to look at my hand. As I stared
|
|||
|
at the ordinary body part, a funny thing started to happen - all of a sudden,
|
|||
|
it ceased to look like a part of my body, an extension of me, and instead
|
|||
|
began to look like a separate creature. I then thought about the thousands
|
|||
|
upon thousands of tasks this one hand is capable of performing - from tying
|
|||
|
shoelaces to holding someone else's hand to wielding a surgeon's knife if it
|
|||
|
so chooses. Amazing, isn't it?
|
|||
|
Then I thought about the rest of this magnificent body I have been
|
|||
|
given, by God or the miracle of evolution, depending on what you believe. I
|
|||
|
have eyes that can see myriad colors and the tiniest, most minute shadings
|
|||
|
and textures of the objects I am surrounded by. I have ears that allow me
|
|||
|
to hear the tiniest inflections in my friend's voice, to hear the
|
|||
|
thundering of a summer storm cloud in a heavy, humid sky. I have a nose with
|
|||
|
which I can smell the lovely, pungent tang of chimney smoke curling up into
|
|||
|
eternity on a cold winter's morning.
|
|||
|
There are so many different organs that make this body complete and
|
|||
|
capable of doing the trillions of things it does in its lifetime. I am
|
|||
|
beautiful; I am created to be capable of feeling the most exquisite pleasure
|
|||
|
and the most extreme piercings of pain, not only physically, but emotionally
|
|||
|
as well. I feel the scorching heat of a pan when I bring my hand too close
|
|||
|
to it. I feel the bite of the first snow of the season on my cheek as I
|
|||
|
trudge through the cold outdoors. But I also feel the pain of losing a loved
|
|||
|
one to death or misunderstanding. I feel the peace that comes from
|
|||
|
knowing I am with somebody who loves me. I feel the comfort and warmth of
|
|||
|
skin when someone hugs me.
|
|||
|
Some say the human body is merely a machine - I disagree. While we
|
|||
|
may be machines, we are not JUST machines. We are not JUST flesh and blood
|
|||
|
parts that are programmed to do certain things and react only in ways that
|
|||
|
fit within specific parameters. We feel, we do, we live, and we make
|
|||
|
choices. We choose with our own free will to do what we want. We choose to
|
|||
|
talk to that lonely-looking soul standing in the corner at a party, we
|
|||
|
choose to become dancers, astronauts, writers, lovers, poets, and friends.
|
|||
|
No one can convince me we are all JUST machines.
|
|||
|
Being what we are, we can choose to live as automatons, which sadly,
|
|||
|
is what most of us do. Perhaps I speak only for myself when I say this,
|
|||
|
but I don't want to die not realizing what it is to live. I don't want to
|
|||
|
become so wrapped up in the troubles and struggles I'm faced with that I
|
|||
|
forget we only live once. It's wrong to take life and everything that comes
|
|||
|
with it for granted. I have only this lifetime to count on, this one,
|
|||
|
relatively short lifetime in which to live, to make my mark and leave an
|
|||
|
impression on this world that will be here long after I am only ashes. It
|
|||
|
is a crime to not do what I think needs to be done here on Earth, to laugh,
|
|||
|
to love, smile at perfect strangers, when so many people die early, leaving
|
|||
|
the remaining chapters of their lives blank and unwritten. I am lucky to be
|
|||
|
here, alive, breathing, and strong. Though maybe we are reincarnated and
|
|||
|
live a thousand lives, I'm not taking that chance - are you?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"I am the girl you know, can't look you in the eye. I am the girl you know,
|
|||
|
so sick I cannot try. And I am the one you want, can't look you in the eye.
|
|||
|
I am the girl, you know, the one who should have died..." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
My Ballerina
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Surfohio@mailbox.iwaynet.net
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Across the sand,
|
|||
|
into the sea.
|
|||
|
We dance on time and say farewell
|
|||
|
to earth.
|
|||
|
Across the red haze of the sunsets,
|
|||
|
we dance and play.
|
|||
|
Floating on the swell of life,
|
|||
|
years of sadness falling away.
|
|||
|
To ride and sing,
|
|||
|
how high can we go?
|
|||
|
Into the wave's breast,
|
|||
|
I have touched her soul.
|
|||
|
To see my ballerina floating on the sand,
|
|||
|
outlined by the sunsets of my dreams.
|
|||
|
No time, simply a being together.
|
|||
|
Did you know,
|
|||
|
it has been so wrong for me?
|
|||
|
I need to go,
|
|||
|
into your being and play upon the waves of
|
|||
|
your soul.
|
|||
|
Because I have touched your mind,
|
|||
|
and know that I can't turn back.
|
|||
|
When I am with you all is not there,
|
|||
|
there is a timelessness that we share.
|
|||
|
I love you my ballerina,
|
|||
|
dancing on the sand.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
poet's journal
|
|||
|
M.Z. Evensen
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i trace wing prints left by words
|
|||
|
an endless while ago
|
|||
|
i write about tomorrows and yesterdays
|
|||
|
about the micro-time it takes to fall in love
|
|||
|
and the eternity of slowly knitting
|
|||
|
abandoned broken dreams
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i leave colored chalk masterpieces
|
|||
|
on summer sidewalks
|
|||
|
and print tree rings in sequoias
|
|||
|
i fashion leis of songs
|
|||
|
and word-blossom coronets
|
|||
|
more fragrant than jasmine and white ginger
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i compile a journal of rain-washed days
|
|||
|
and crisp pear mornings
|
|||
|
i paint pictures of imagined lives
|
|||
|
that washed into each other
|
|||
|
like water colors
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i write
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Poetry in Motion
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Michael Johnson
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The pain hits my head and
|
|||
|
the words flow like blood to
|
|||
|
the eyes and minds of all
|
|||
|
the people who behold the view of
|
|||
|
the paper that holds my creativity.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The Poet , I am.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The words form from agony and
|
|||
|
the happiness combines with
|
|||
|
the emotions withheld throughout
|
|||
|
the life of the problems faced with
|
|||
|
the answers for tomorrow.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The Poet , I am.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The meaningless thoughts start
|
|||
|
the process as the paper takes
|
|||
|
the shape of the feelings rushing from
|
|||
|
the mind of the writer as fingers flash
|
|||
|
the past into a reanimation of life.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The Poet , I am.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The finished product offers
|
|||
|
the reader the opportunity to feel
|
|||
|
the suffering and heartache or
|
|||
|
the triumphs and victories of
|
|||
|
the things with which are not.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The Poet , I am.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Post to me: The Purpose Of Poetry + Poem: Domestic Violets
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Eu-Ming Lee
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The purpose of poetry, in my opinion, is to reproduce a mood, emotion,
|
|||
|
sensation, or image with the use of words. This, in itself, is a constant.
|
|||
|
However, how one interprets that mood, emotion, sensation, or image may be
|
|||
|
subject to personal experiences, but those interpretations must still revolve
|
|||
|
around the central purpose of the poem.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
In general, this is true of all art, and the ones which are most effective
|
|||
|
are the ones which evoke the most well-defined emotions and experiences
|
|||
|
from the audience. If your art is ambiguous in any way, its purpose is
|
|||
|
lost. Whether your medium is prose, verse, free-verse, rock music,
|
|||
|
photography, pencil, watercolors, or even movies or videos, the same
|
|||
|
criteria for art holds.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Now, the trouble with good art is that it should be general enough so
|
|||
|
that anybody can relate to it while at the same time being specific
|
|||
|
enough to evoke a unique human reponse. Going even further, the response
|
|||
|
evoked by the art should be immutable as time passes. Thus, while
|
|||
|
Courtney's [Love] music is excellent because it is so violently vivid and
|
|||
|
specific, it is also flawed since it can only touch a minority of
|
|||
|
people in our brief time frame. However, this does not make me
|
|||
|
appreciate her any less. In fact, I must appreciate her even more for
|
|||
|
keeping the subject of her art so relevant and meaningful to us (the
|
|||
|
audience) personally.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The reason we have poetry, music, or art is because we can't directly
|
|||
|
download emotions. When you're sad or happy, you want it to be
|
|||
|
contagious. You want to force your mood on others. You might do it
|
|||
|
by gazing at your shoes as you shuffle slowly to class. Or you might
|
|||
|
do it by irritating other people on the net. Sometimes, we feel so
|
|||
|
strongly, happy or sad, but mostly sad since it is such a stronger
|
|||
|
emotion, that it feels like we'll explode from keeping it all to
|
|||
|
ourselves. So we need to share it. And the better we do it, the
|
|||
|
better we feel about it. So roughly, I gauge the quality of any
|
|||
|
work of art by its emotional baud rate. The more information and
|
|||
|
emotion it can accurately pass with the most simplistic carrier, the
|
|||
|
higher the baud rate, the better the art.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Here are some words a friend I really care for once said to me. She
|
|||
|
said them as a joke, a balm to soothe the recent scars of her abusive
|
|||
|
relationship. They are so crushing, so accurate, that even though she
|
|||
|
just said them in passing, I still regard them as poetry because the few
|
|||
|
simple words overwhelm you with images and meaning.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"I still have the scalp of hair he pulled out. Do you want to see it?
|
|||
|
I keep it in my top drawer to remind me of him."
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
That still haunts me. And the way she smiled after saying that
|
|||
|
still frightens me. I don't know if she kept it to remind herself
|
|||
|
that he loved her or that he hated her. And by telling me, she was
|
|||
|
passing a demon on to me so it wouldn't haunt her anymore.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
And here is what I did with the demon:
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Domestic Violets
|
|||
|
Copyright 2/9/95 Eu-Ming Lee
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Roses are red
|
|||
|
And you're black and blue
|
|||
|
Two domestic violets
|
|||
|
For every bruise.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Roses for bruises
|
|||
|
was no easy compromise.
|
|||
|
Bruises being so rare,
|
|||
|
they paid a dozen roses
|
|||
|
for one.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
But now you're not so sure
|
|||
|
of anything anymore.
|
|||
|
You said you knew how to live
|
|||
|
And you knew how to love.
|
|||
|
You knew when to forgive
|
|||
|
when push came to shove.
|
|||
|
But now you don't know anything anymore.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
But at least you know your worth.
|
|||
|
Roses being so rare,
|
|||
|
they pay a dozen bruises
|
|||
|
for one.
|
|||
|
It's a wonder at all
|
|||
|
that he still brings you flowers
|
|||
|
or anything anymore.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Ming
|
|||
|
set your demons free
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"Fuck fuck you all except Ming." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Remembering
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> J.L. Dowd
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I think I'll always remember you
|
|||
|
in the early morning hours just
|
|||
|
before dawn, when sky
|
|||
|
is but a velvet drape with melting
|
|||
|
colours soft as raindrops, a
|
|||
|
time when everything is hazy
|
|||
|
lazy clouds, majestic mountains
|
|||
|
splashed across the sky in purple
|
|||
|
palette, trees cloaked in sensuous
|
|||
|
beauty swaying against indigo skies
|
|||
|
stars like diamonds falling at their feet
|
|||
|
thinking I'll always remember you
|
|||
|
in the early morning hours, when
|
|||
|
all I feel is gentleness
|
|||
|
of morning about to awaken,
|
|||
|
when all I hear is occasional
|
|||
|
bird in song, when all I know is
|
|||
|
peace within my heart knowing
|
|||
|
I'll always remember you
|
|||
|
in the early morning hours.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
river
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> C.E. Nelson
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
when it is time
|
|||
|
to cut the corpse down
|
|||
|
from the swing, let's rejoice and sing:
|
|||
|
this neck will stretch no more.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
and that mouth will
|
|||
|
never chew a leg of lamb
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
and that mouth will never sing again.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
that mouth will never again
|
|||
|
seek out the wet embrace of another.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
those lips
|
|||
|
will never cling
|
|||
|
to a beer
|
|||
|
or
|
|||
|
a woman named
|
|||
|
sarah
|
|||
|
who cries
|
|||
|
for spring,
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
not even a fork
|
|||
|
or blade of grace.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
and the eyes, dead now,
|
|||
|
will never see the way we
|
|||
|
laugh
|
|||
|
and turn from
|
|||
|
our hastily buried regret.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Rock Star (Alternate Version)
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
When I went to school in Olympia
|
|||
|
Everyone's the same
|
|||
|
What do you do with a revolution
|
|||
|
(yeah, you just forget your name)
|
|||
|
When I went to school in a fascist state
|
|||
|
(Everyone's the same)
|
|||
|
They call it punk rock and we got it great
|
|||
|
(yeah, what am I supposed to say)
|
|||
|
Hey you, please, make me real, fuck you
|
|||
|
Make me sick, fuck you
|
|||
|
Make me punk, fuck you
|
|||
|
When I went to school in Olympia
|
|||
|
(Everyone's the same)
|
|||
|
From parasites to psychopath
|
|||
|
Oh God, just please forget my name
|
|||
|
When I went to school in Olympia (fascist state)
|
|||
|
(yeah, and everyone's the same)
|
|||
|
And we got a little revolution
|
|||
|
And yeah, we won't forget our name, fuck you
|
|||
|
Make me real, fuck you
|
|||
|
Make me sick, fuck you
|
|||
|
Make me punk, fuck you
|
|||
|
Do it for the kids
|
|||
|
Do it for the kids
|
|||
|
When I went to school in Olympia
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"Yeah, he knew he was the shit, but he had no rock star ego. And he needed
|
|||
|
a little...And Kurt, you know, would carry his bag up cobbled Parisian
|
|||
|
streets. You know, and he was scrawny, you know, carried this huge
|
|||
|
suitcase because everything had to be punk." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
sexual dreams
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Max@computek.net
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
thinking of you. closing my eyes wishing I could be with you. wanting you.
|
|||
|
smelling you. feeling you. tasting you. kissing you. cursing this
|
|||
|
wretched reality keeping me from you. holding you. touching you. drowsy.
|
|||
|
lethargic. longing to embrace you. undressing gently, carefully, lovingly.
|
|||
|
adore being adored. tiny twitches of pleasure taking me over. ruffling
|
|||
|
your hair. feeling the curve of your back. trembling. quivering.
|
|||
|
breathless. taking your hand. laying side by side. caressing your face.
|
|||
|
finger tracing the boundary of your mouth. stroking your legs. touching
|
|||
|
your waist. the mound of your sex. swelling of your lips. clenching of
|
|||
|
your thighs. possessing you. wanting you. desecrating you. drenched in
|
|||
|
perspiration. waves of desire. rasping, gulping for air. breath on your
|
|||
|
cheek. kissing your softness, rubbing it with my lips. squeezing your hand.
|
|||
|
fingers stroking your hair, over your shoulder. wanting to be kissed again.
|
|||
|
hands slowly crept around my neck. fingernails softy tracing. so soft.
|
|||
|
mouth brushed against your neck, shoulders, breasts. losing control.
|
|||
|
possessing you. a kiss that went on and on. forgetting the night. lips
|
|||
|
wandering over the salty tang of your skin. kneeling between your feet.
|
|||
|
owering my open mouth onto your sex, kissing, licking, sucking until it
|
|||
|
starts flowing abundantly. bodies heaving. back arched. thighs giving off
|
|||
|
heat. plundering your curves, your moist crevices. breathing quickly tempted
|
|||
|
to satisfy this mounting desire. dissolving within you. lips are swollen.
|
|||
|
your body nestled in my arms. contact with, pressing against your body
|
|||
|
throwing me off balance. my head is whirling. losing control. seized with
|
|||
|
a yearning. melting into a single lascivious entity. every nerve ending is
|
|||
|
alive and tingling. legs entwined, twisting, arching, spreading, and
|
|||
|
clenching. trying to control the flood of sensations overwhelming me.
|
|||
|
explosion-implosion. overwhelming soreness. drifting off, floating high
|
|||
|
into nothingness.
|
|||
|
into a paradise of my own...
|
|||
|
slowing of my thumping heart...
|
|||
|
caressing you beside me...
|
|||
|
and losing all sense of time.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Sinners
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> John Anguish
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
There`s an evil sky on the horizon
|
|||
|
Blocking out the sun.
|
|||
|
The wind, blowing it faster
|
|||
|
Over here.
|
|||
|
The silhouetted trees against the sky
|
|||
|
One by one disappear,
|
|||
|
Uniform grey.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I`m sitting in my car
|
|||
|
Watching the river float by.
|
|||
|
Sometimes wondering when,
|
|||
|
Always asking why.
|
|||
|
As the storm approaches
|
|||
|
Turning light and shade to grey.
|
|||
|
I wish you`d go away.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Oh well, the rain`s arrived,
|
|||
|
Heralded by a piece of litter
|
|||
|
Blowing ever higher in the wind.
|
|||
|
And the greyness rushes nearer
|
|||
|
Drifting faster down the river
|
|||
|
Looking down on sinners who have sinned.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The rain, it`s getting stronger
|
|||
|
And the seagulls have no chance
|
|||
|
To get home, winging hard against the wind.
|
|||
|
And the street lights switch themselves on,
|
|||
|
Over there.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
And as the ships pass by,
|
|||
|
The ever greying sky
|
|||
|
Seems so large against my insignificance.
|
|||
|
I look out my window,
|
|||
|
And you begin to cry.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> John Quill Taylor
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this loves you truly
|
|||
|
though you will never know it, you know that it's true
|
|||
|
and it's good to know that you are loved
|
|||
|
even if that love remains in a pocket forever
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this abandoned a child
|
|||
|
far out in the cold you listen and you hear endless crying
|
|||
|
you say that it's not you, but you shouldn't feel left out
|
|||
|
for you may be that child
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this lies to a friend
|
|||
|
losing all that sleep must be worth it
|
|||
|
the real reward is that once you can lie to a friend
|
|||
|
it becomes easier to lie to yourself
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this cheats on a spouse
|
|||
|
doing the nasty and you don't even feel a bit shamed
|
|||
|
you won't realize your miscalculation until it's too late
|
|||
|
for shame is an essential emotion
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this has no legs
|
|||
|
it's good to have a real sense of humor about it
|
|||
|
so on the back of your wheel chair it says
|
|||
|
the last time i got it up was in vietnam
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this gets the AIDS virus
|
|||
|
and it's very sad because you didn't even have fun
|
|||
|
contracting your own death, and even sadder because
|
|||
|
you don't even know you have it yet
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this suffers every day
|
|||
|
so i'm sorry i have to be the one to inform you
|
|||
|
that no, it's not you
|
|||
|
but i'm here to tell you that it could be
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this wants to end a pain-filled life
|
|||
|
and when you imagine your friends and your relatives
|
|||
|
and all the pain and suffering this will cause them
|
|||
|
you decide you will do it anyway, only not today
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this will die soon
|
|||
|
but you will make it look like an accident
|
|||
|
since you were always one waiting to happen
|
|||
|
and you finally even convinced yourself of that
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this could be you and me
|
|||
|
but of course if i get caught
|
|||
|
i'll just say i was reading something else
|
|||
|
how about you? what will you do?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
someone reading this wrote this
|
|||
|
look, they even placed some initials at the end of it!
|
|||
|
but it's impossible to prove, and if you say it was me
|
|||
|
i will just deny ever having been here
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
- jqt -
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"What I want to capture is the look on a woman's face as she's being crowned.
|
|||
|
A sort of ecstatic, blue eyeliner running...kind of 'I am...I am...I won!
|
|||
|
I have hemorrhoid cream under my eyes and adhesive tape on my butt and I had
|
|||
|
to scratch and claw and blow job [censored], but I won Miss Congeniality!'
|
|||
|
And that's the essence of sickness in this culture that I'd like to
|
|||
|
capture." <20> Courtney Love, regarding the cover of 'Live Through This'
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Teenage Angst
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Jason D. Lee
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
You can't hate me like I do.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I know me better.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
And no one wants to share my world.
|
|||
|
Or maybe I just don't want to share.
|
|||
|
It doesn't matter.
|
|||
|
The cause is hidden, but the result is well known.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I have a plan.
|
|||
|
Most people don't understand it.
|
|||
|
I had to explain it today to the one person it was written for.
|
|||
|
Made her cry.
|
|||
|
I'm an abortionist.
|
|||
|
I made her cry.
|
|||
|
Aborted her hope.
|
|||
|
Killed her fucking puppies.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
And right now, I'd kill anything I could get my hands on.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Let me sum up the last day:
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
class
|
|||
|
work
|
|||
|
jealousy
|
|||
|
sleep
|
|||
|
blood
|
|||
|
phone
|
|||
|
listening
|
|||
|
jealousy
|
|||
|
thinking
|
|||
|
lunch
|
|||
|
anger
|
|||
|
letter
|
|||
|
abortion procedures
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Fuck you Mr girly-man who uses us.
|
|||
|
Fuck you Mr wimp talking to her like that.
|
|||
|
Fuck you Mr suave flowers kissy kissy man.
|
|||
|
Fuck you Mr rapist.
|
|||
|
Fuck you Ms I-know-more-than-you-do-'cause-I'm-just-trying-to-give-you-space.
|
|||
|
Fuck you Mr overreaction.
|
|||
|
Fuck you Mr "Can't anyone spell on this newsgroup?"
|
|||
|
Fuck you Mr God. Where are you now?
|
|||
|
Fuck you Ms Lee. Get out of your little beanie world.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Fuck you Mr mel. Mr killer of all hope in you and everyone else. Mr I
|
|||
|
have to carry the world's burdens on my shoulders because someone has to
|
|||
|
and I don't see anyone else doing it so help me make me into a martyr so
|
|||
|
I will die and one day a book will be written about me and I will never
|
|||
|
be forgotten.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Pussy.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
You can't hate me as much as I do.
|
|||
|
I know me better.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I want to say I am sorry.
|
|||
|
But they are empty words.
|
|||
|
I want to say I love you.
|
|||
|
But they mean nothing.
|
|||
|
I want to cry.
|
|||
|
But no tears fall.
|
|||
|
I want to die.
|
|||
|
But I cannot.
|
|||
|
I want to quit thinking.
|
|||
|
But the brain won't turn off.
|
|||
|
I want to return to some sense of normal.
|
|||
|
But it just wouldn't be the same.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Fuck you.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
You can't hate me as much as I do.
|
|||
|
I know me better.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"I don't think Kurt wants to be standing in a Bar-do at the Gate as the
|
|||
|
patron saint of drugs...beautiful losers, suicide, and heroin. I don't
|
|||
|
think Kurt wants to be there. I know that wherever he is, a lot's
|
|||
|
dissipated, but there's a major guilt left behind. And he's got to have
|
|||
|
his dignity restored, and his true self. And he could be a real grumpy
|
|||
|
bastard, but that was part of his power. You know, without saying a word,
|
|||
|
he could make the whole room feel like shit. You know? And he also had
|
|||
|
an intense narcissism like, "You're coming to me." But he also didn't have
|
|||
|
one ATOM of rock star ego, and he needed it. He didn't give himself enough
|
|||
|
credit. I mean, he knew he was the shit. At the same time he didn't give
|
|||
|
himself... I mean, he prayed every night. He taught our daughter how to
|
|||
|
pray. One thing that...when I would, you know, verbally we would pray out
|
|||
|
loud, is for him to love himself." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
10 months
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> C.E. Nelson
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
kiss me kiss me
|
|||
|
she cried
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i pulled her by the lips
|
|||
|
and she came unglued.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
what are you doing
|
|||
|
you filthy bastard?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
kiss kiss, i replied, kiss kiss
|
|||
|
while chewing on her tongue.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
she wiggled. i blew my nose and
|
|||
|
damned near choked on her lips.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
girl was not there in the morning.
|
|||
|
i was not surprised.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
ten months later i heard:
|
|||
|
she had vomited what
|
|||
|
was left of me.
|
|||
|
it came up with blue eyes and
|
|||
|
tiny fingers, a bit of blonde hair,
|
|||
|
no teeth. pinkish-grey and
|
|||
|
screaming. somewhat alive.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
she named it katlynn annamarie.
|
|||
|
the woman had some sense after all.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
one day i had a letter in the box.
|
|||
|
inside the envelope was a photo
|
|||
|
of me, only very very tiny
|
|||
|
and with blue eyes (not my brown eyes).
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
there was a note as well:
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
here's your daughter, you sonofabitch.
|
|||
|
she's beautiful. i don't love you. you
|
|||
|
were hell in bed. you can never see her.
|
|||
|
i want to fuck you again, so, fuck you!
|
|||
|
and if you come near us i'll shoot you in
|
|||
|
the ass. i love you. look at this beautiful
|
|||
|
child!!! how could you do this to me? my
|
|||
|
belly is back to normal now. if you could
|
|||
|
see me, you would want to fuck me again.
|
|||
|
the stretch marks are not so bad. i am
|
|||
|
going to marry the landfill worker. he
|
|||
|
beats me. you never did. you were always
|
|||
|
soft and gentle with your little hands.
|
|||
|
a nice guy, i always thought. you make
|
|||
|
me sick. love, rebecca.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
p.s.
|
|||
|
fuck you!
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i folded the sheet of paper and placed it
|
|||
|
back into the envelope, then folded the
|
|||
|
envelope and stuffed it into my pocket. i
|
|||
|
was still holding the photo.
|
|||
|
i looked at it for a long time.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the little girl was gorgeous.
|
|||
|
she really looked like me. this
|
|||
|
was too much. i started to cry
|
|||
|
and soon my shoes were soaked.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
my head kept ringing:
|
|||
|
nelson, you're a father now...
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
over and over as i went up the
|
|||
|
stairs to my apartment.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i didnt know what to do. i
|
|||
|
had never made anything so
|
|||
|
lovely. i felt like a god.
|
|||
|
a very poor and worthless god.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i took off my shoes and
|
|||
|
put them out on the balcony
|
|||
|
to dry.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the world had suddenly grown very bright.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The Boy Who Dances With Waves
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Midori
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The boy who dances with waves is gentle in his bidding.
|
|||
|
He nimbly coaxes the blue maiden into a sweeping waltz
|
|||
|
racing her over the ocean sand. She reaches up to meet
|
|||
|
him and together they dance delicately, he tiptoes
|
|||
|
around her fragile form, not wanting to disrupt their
|
|||
|
fluid dance.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
With his deft steps of utmost caution, she is his to
|
|||
|
mold and bend and shape into the partner she so desires.
|
|||
|
Together they hold each other in a streamline embrace,
|
|||
|
a complete union, but a fleeting one at most.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
For this fiery wave resents the boy who steals her heart
|
|||
|
and she lashes out in a spray of foamy white.
|
|||
|
The good-humored boy shifts his weight and braves the blows
|
|||
|
that his willful companion inflicts,
|
|||
|
never losing the rhythm of their dizzying waltz.
|
|||
|
Onward they fly, as he tames and woos this volatile creature
|
|||
|
with his carefree smile and swift, silent movements.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Her boy has tamed her and now he hears the music stop,
|
|||
|
hears the song of another wave whose secret dance
|
|||
|
he is yet to discover. Together they part,
|
|||
|
she exhausted, falling to the sand, he ecstatic,
|
|||
|
moving on to the next partner he will have to charm
|
|||
|
with his gentle touch.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
And so the boy who dances with waves carries on
|
|||
|
his silent bidding.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The Joker
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> ray
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
So many nights, asleep, awake...
|
|||
|
Beyond my sights, the demons stake,
|
|||
|
Tranced i'm lying, my breath he drains
|
|||
|
I think i'm dying, but my mind restrains.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The Joker's here to collect his dues,
|
|||
|
I pray in fear for faith to refuse,
|
|||
|
He reaches inside against my might
|
|||
|
To take my soul before dawn takes night.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Above my cries, laughs the Joke,
|
|||
|
In my blood my feelings soak,
|
|||
|
He shines on pain, my aching years...
|
|||
|
Straight to my brain, resurrect my fears.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Strip my eyes, black and white,
|
|||
|
Too weak i will to long the night,
|
|||
|
Possessed inside, i'm frozen still
|
|||
|
Aware, i hide, from his ill will.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
So silence locks
|
|||
|
My lips of red.
|
|||
|
The Joker mocks
|
|||
|
The life i've led.
|
|||
|
My soul runs...
|
|||
|
Leaves me for dead,
|
|||
|
The devil comes
|
|||
|
And fills my head.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the time has come
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Mike 'Chupa' Christensen
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the time came for me.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
tonight.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
time for me to face my demons.
|
|||
|
and win.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
wasn't expecting the time
|
|||
|
to be tonight.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
just kinda happened that way.
|
|||
|
there was warning.
|
|||
|
about half an hour.
|
|||
|
every little bit counts.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
she just came on campus.
|
|||
|
no real apparent reason.
|
|||
|
not to see me of course.
|
|||
|
that would be my wishing
|
|||
|
that the past would be changed.
|
|||
|
ha.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
too late for that.
|
|||
|
i found another.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the time came
|
|||
|
in our own house.
|
|||
|
why not?
|
|||
|
that's where we met.
|
|||
|
a year and a half ago.
|
|||
|
has it been that long?
|
|||
|
wow.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
she was drunk,
|
|||
|
i wished i was.
|
|||
|
i wished i was invisible.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i faced my demons.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i got through the night
|
|||
|
in one piece
|
|||
|
which is good.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"release"
|
|||
|
i screamed out the words
|
|||
|
as the tears fell
|
|||
|
i didn't care if she saw me.
|
|||
|
who gives a fuck about what she thinks anymore?
|
|||
|
doesn't matter.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
all that matters now is
|
|||
|
my megan.
|
|||
|
she helped me get through the night.
|
|||
|
thank you.
|
|||
|
i can never thank you enough.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the past is gone.
|
|||
|
that was made clear to me tonight.
|
|||
|
no more i love you's.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
funny.
|
|||
|
the one who i stole her from
|
|||
|
was trying vainly to get her
|
|||
|
just like he did before.
|
|||
|
he can have her.
|
|||
|
she's a river.
|
|||
|
and she's gone forever.
|
|||
|
flowed off into the sea.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i loved her.
|
|||
|
that was long ago.
|
|||
|
i'm kinda glad she came.
|
|||
|
helped me finally close that chapter
|
|||
|
in the increasingly longer and more stressful book
|
|||
|
that is my life.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i'm 21 years old.
|
|||
|
it's not the years, it's the mileage.
|
|||
|
amen to that.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i really wish i had some aspirin.
|
|||
|
splitting headaches due to
|
|||
|
extreme stress
|
|||
|
are not good.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
ground zero.
|
|||
|
so much crap has taken place
|
|||
|
at that bar at the house.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
add another to the list.
|
|||
|
"final talk with kelly magee - 3-25-95"
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
and shut the book.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
This Music Burns
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Chuck deVarennes
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
band romps the storytell ride.
|
|||
|
i sit with empty coffee mug,
|
|||
|
full ears,
|
|||
|
and happily forget
|
|||
|
a good night's sleep.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i've been feeling old and closed,
|
|||
|
suddenly remembered emotion
|
|||
|
surges me.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
grudging blossom,
|
|||
|
i open
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
from amplified sound
|
|||
|
that cuts through fear,
|
|||
|
shatters the walls.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i'd been holding back,
|
|||
|
growing slack,
|
|||
|
fixed and pompous.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
My arteries aren't stiff!
|
|||
|
Full and flowing.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Creation,
|
|||
|
rock and roll,
|
|||
|
break me out!
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
fluid and vital
|
|||
|
in naked joy!
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i'm free.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
this music burns alive,
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i declare my legs working,
|
|||
|
my heart open,
|
|||
|
love unrestrained.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
on a sonic flow
|
|||
|
through human voices,
|
|||
|
i'm taking back my soul.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Tomorrow
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Carlo G. D'Agostino
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
The sky darkens
|
|||
|
In shades of grey
|
|||
|
Gathering the air
|
|||
|
To cleanse our decay
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Awash in confusion I slowly sink
|
|||
|
My trust pludered by Deceit, my heart broken
|
|||
|
Left only with myself of which to think
|
|||
|
And so many words between us left unspoken
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Games of chance are best left to the skilled;
|
|||
|
No greater game of chance is there than Love
|
|||
|
Its price no less than the spirit of which we are filled
|
|||
|
Deeper than the sea, brighter than the the sun above
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
So let it rain
|
|||
|
The drops are my sorrow
|
|||
|
What we became
|
|||
|
Left us no tomorrow
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Twilight Shadows
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> James V. Scibetta
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
We leave a trail
|
|||
|
Of broken parts
|
|||
|
Of fractured dreams
|
|||
|
And care-worn hearts
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
As we dive into
|
|||
|
Another day
|
|||
|
Another breath
|
|||
|
We'll fade away
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Into the web
|
|||
|
Of eternity
|
|||
|
A destiny spun
|
|||
|
Of hyperbole
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Where twilight shadows
|
|||
|
Run and dance
|
|||
|
Beyond the realm
|
|||
|
Of circumstance
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Where fate no longer
|
|||
|
Has control
|
|||
|
The freedom won
|
|||
|
For every soul.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Eu-Ming Lee
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
When I was ten,
|
|||
|
I had a friend.
|
|||
|
She broke her head
|
|||
|
and fell down dead.
|
|||
|
Every now and
|
|||
|
then and again,
|
|||
|
I remember her
|
|||
|
and feel ten again.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Suicide is suicide.
|
|||
|
Kurt will always be
|
|||
|
Twenty-seven
|
|||
|
Crystalline time.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"I resent being a role model for marrying a rock star. I wanna slap girls
|
|||
|
when they do that to me, I really do. That's disgusting." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Steve Marra
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Though I have paid penance to an uncaring extremity
|
|||
|
For each year past the first feelings of ejaculatory warmth
|
|||
|
Held by the whims of an engorging entity
|
|||
|
I have fought urgings of violence.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Pondering the joys of a hymen bloody rending.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Wondering if for each unwilling fornication
|
|||
|
I would scream jubilation!
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Could I take the purity of an organ, unspoiled by consciousness
|
|||
|
And fill it with my hatred?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Could I say to a frightened girl, dress torn, groin bleeding -
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I'll break your neck if you scream
|
|||
|
I'll rip your head from your shoulders and send it to your mother
|
|||
|
in a box of roses.
|
|||
|
Open your mouth before I fuck you in the ass, again.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Swallow my glistening spittle
|
|||
|
gushing like blood from a savored artery -
|
|||
|
Your tongue the blade
|
|||
|
Your mouth the chalice...
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I pause.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Am I repulsed?
|
|||
|
Yes.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Am I capable?
|
|||
|
No..... I would never.....
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
And from the whisperings of my mind.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
*Yes*.....
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> ray
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Into stillness... i yield to be led by its wave
|
|||
|
through the illness of mind, -- heartless, i sink
|
|||
|
on my journey to the shore.
|
|||
|
The sea will shell what i never forgave,
|
|||
|
Release my resistance, -- but the last wish it gave...
|
|||
|
Don't flirt with its waters no more.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Enduring the tide... master,... i obey,
|
|||
|
through the depth of life, -- weightless, i rise
|
|||
|
on my journey to the shore.
|
|||
|
The sea will capture what i cast away,
|
|||
|
Unbind my emotions, -- but the last wish I gave...
|
|||
|
Don't drift up my beaches no more.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
wind
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> Jim Higdon
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
the wind
|
|||
|
pulls my shirt
|
|||
|
broken bottles
|
|||
|
a newspaper
|
|||
|
and a girl's hair
|
|||
|
as she walks
|
|||
|
clutching herself
|
|||
|
keeping warm
|
|||
|
keeping up
|
|||
|
with her boyfriend
|
|||
|
a halfpace ahead
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Written In Lights
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD> A.C. Missias
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Some things you need to get in writing.
|
|||
|
Not just the mortgage rate
|
|||
|
but -- exactly what do you mean
|
|||
|
when you say you care?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Maybe thoughts would be clearer when put in lights:
|
|||
|
an exhuberant *NEVER MET ANYONE SO WONDERFUL!*
|
|||
|
flashing across an urban signboard
|
|||
|
or *I'm really sorry*
|
|||
|
in soft violet neon outside my door.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Everything demands the appropriate light:
|
|||
|
the glint of a wine glass raised in toast --
|
|||
|
much better by candles only;
|
|||
|
an outdoor picnic with people-watching --
|
|||
|
blazing sunshine, of course.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
I'd still accept a blazing billboard
|
|||
|
trumpeting my glories to the world.
|
|||
|
But right now I am happy here,
|
|||
|
savoring your kisses in lush darkness,
|
|||
|
with background of subdued cityflicker.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
<20><>
|
|||
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20><>
|
|||
|
<20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><> <20>
|
|||
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
<20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20>
|
|||
|
<20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20>
|
|||
|
<20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20>
|
|||
|
<20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
<20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20>
|
|||
|
<20> <20> <20><> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><> <20><>
|
|||
|
<20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
|
|||
|
<20>
|
|||
|
<20>
|
|||
|
<20>
|
|||
|
<20>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Legalize.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
Submit your original literary works for Spilled Ink, [volume five], to
|
|||
|
Twilight.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Ice Castle: (713) 722-5400
|
|||
|
Paradise Playline: (713) 597-4000
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Or by Internet e-mail:
|
|||
|
twilight@mail.utexas.edu
|
|||
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|