544 lines
23 KiB
Plaintext
544 lines
23 KiB
Plaintext
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+= poor old ugly pompous electronic yams #5 =+
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.s$$$$$$s. .s$$$$s. .s$$ $$s. .s$$$$$$s. .s$$$$$$$s. $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$s. $$$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ #5
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$$$$ s$$$$s .$$$$$$$$$. $$$$ .s$$$$$$$s. $$$$
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Nybars life.. in a shell. -Fro Boy+Nybar
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There ONCE was a crazy dud(e) named nybs,
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Who was STRANGE in the way of his vibes.
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With a disdain for pretention,
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and non linear attention...
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his goals I never jived.
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His goals they were these:
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To protect cats from fleas,
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And help if they got stuck in trees.
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Cat worship he practiced and preached,
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And this to his students he teached,
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From old USA, to the coast of Pompay,
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The cult eventually reached.
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His second in command was called `Nybar'
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Who would often sit atop fro boys car,
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Her shiny fur, was deep black, as tar.
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And now this rhyme I must end,
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for I am departing my friend,
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these tales sweet and strange,
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and at times quite deranged...
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I hope your woes they doth mend.
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++++++++++===========----------BUTT theory------------===========+++++++++++
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I just made up a scientificly grounded theory... well.. kinda..
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Scientific sounding. It says that.. wait.. this has to drag on.
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So first I'll explain creation.
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FIRST, THERE WAS NYBAR.. AND IT, WAS, .. kinda boring.
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AND THEN HE CREATED ME N Jc.. AND WE CREATED POUPEY.. AND IT..
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WAS.. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
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ON THE FIRST DAY, HE ATE A TACO.
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ON THE SECOND DAY, HE FARTED HEARTY.
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ON THE THIRD DAY, HE DECIDED HE WOULD WRITE FOR POUPEY.
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ON THE FOURTH DAY.. HE WENT TO THE BATHROOM.
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ON THE FITH DAY.. HE SCREWED AROUND WITH ALOT OF STUPID RULES.
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ON THE SIXTH DAY.. HE LAUGHED AT THE PEOPLE WHO LISTEND TO HIS RULES.
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ON THE SEVENTH DAY....... : PENIS POP.
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anyway.. enough filler to last a story. the butt theory goes like this..
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Every time you fart.. you release a stinky, flammable gas called
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Methane. After a while this fart-methane dissepears. Where does it go?
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Where does it go? Where does it go? Where does it go? Where DOES it go?
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This theory Was invented to answer those questions.
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At the center of the earth.. there WAS a big hole. But then...
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Nybar said "Let there be a butt" And there was a giant butt there.
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That butt was created so that if nybar ever wanted to destroy all the
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humans he could do it easily. Now.. whenever someone farts.. it
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Stays on earth a while.. and then goes to the giant butt.. called
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bumblefart.. where it will stay until doomsday. On doomsday..
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Nybar will put on an oxygen mask.. light a match.. and release all
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the farts. BOOM! Bye planet earth. But in the fro there is hope.
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If it gets big enough fast enough without killing us all.. it may
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be able to absorb the explosion.
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Anyway.. if you feel like farting.. try to hold it in man.
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........................................................................
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It's been declared. Dang republicans.
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Afganistan.. BANANA STAND!
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I'mmm crushinnggg your head
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NOBODIES HOME! whip cream+a bag of cherries.
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ha.. if we stay here all month we won't have to
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pay the bills!
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What did my mother used to tell me about eye care? ohh yeah.. never
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put salt your eyes.. never put salt in your eyes.. never put salt in your
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eyes put salt in your eyes.. ALWAYS PUT SALT IN YOUR EYES!
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OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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OOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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OWWWWWWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWWOWO$#%(#$%(%
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OUCH SAH! the first one was pissed in.
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Ever laughed..? the second one was.... just not good..
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Alot.....? The third one was nice.. with sugar and spice...
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they must have put a little girl in
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it! For one minute straight?
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God.. I was half laughing.. half hyperventalating!
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And those jerks were slapping me cause THEY thought I was fakin it.
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So I ate their young.. but it didn't work because they were just
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gonna grill them up anyway. What was I thinking when I decided to
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start poupey? some people pronounce it PoupAy. Well Oo la de dah
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Mr. Frenchman/woman(depending) I would say.
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God.. look at the time I wrote this. 4:07.
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some recurring themes..?
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umm.. st. schmivvens day+spitting soup.. umm..
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that whole "Kill republican" thang.....
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Dang.. I Forgot my mantra.
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---------------------------------------------------
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roll poetry
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----------------------------------------------------------
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The once was a poet named bob..
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whose apartment was often robbed..
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so he became a b-movie critic..
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And was happy.. until he disturbed the crickits....
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Now in hodgesons bay his body bobs. Anyway.. we were going to
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Boston market.. and I didn't
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What is the matter with life? want to go there at the time..
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It can be cut away with a knife..so I said " Ewww.. we're
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I show not my fear.. going to have alittle "Bour ve bour"
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As I raise my ears.. at BOSTON MARKET!" hahaha.. genuis.
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To the terrible toon of the fife!
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The once was a man called "Hughes"
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Who had an unreasonable fear of green suade shoes..
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In a plane called sproose goose..
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He extravigantly cut loose.. some day.. historians
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To the germs, he paid his dues will dig up the remains of
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p0upEy.. and think.. "God..things
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Why must the world go on? haven't improved much"
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From Now to an indian dawn..
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But when I sleep.. Wyoming does NOT exsist!
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Making not a peep.. It's a conspiracy of cartogriphers!
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Mayhap I shall dream of controlling a pawn.
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Wyoming means " No state here"
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A poem is hard to write..
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An incomplete one fills my heart with spite..
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Many people dream.. godd this poetry sux
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Of a world sweet as whipped cream..
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WAKE UP! And you'll see the world is shite!
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MMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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The duck.. says quack
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A is for apple.. b is for bear.. c is for..
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c is for..
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umm..
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car..wash
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d is for.. dink..
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e.. is for.. e is for..
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eskimo
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`Why.. I'm living in a magggggiiiiiicccccaaaalllll world of
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fairies! Elves! And eskimo's!'
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The Green light means go and run over some pedestrians.
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The yellow light means SPEED UP!
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The red light means LIFE IS HELL!
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........................................................................
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On april the 10th
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at about 8:00 that night
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Les Leisons dangerous was brought back to life
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a tale of aristicrats with hearts cold and hard
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who played out peoples lives just as though they were cards
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the show went all right
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despite a flickering light
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a couple flubbed lines and a door hinge not tight
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so if you like malace, decite, and revenge
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to the center of students you should soon decend
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to check out a show presented proudly to you
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by the students of theatre in E-52
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========================================================
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all things must end
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'tis known to be true
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so the students of theatre in E-52
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will present one last show proudly to you
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and then to Wolf hall they must aduie
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a tale of acceptance, forgivness, and change
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they needed a play with quite a braud range
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and then arouse an image like a hymn song out in church
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well put on Shakespears Tempest full of rhyme, and wit, and myrth
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to direct this last show they went overseas
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and asked David Howie of the old RSC:
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"we've got here a play thats been around for an age
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and would you convert it from the page to the stage"
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so on may the 11th at about 10:00 that night
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Prospero's "art" will shine to delight
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and for the last time the curtin will fall
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with a hail and fare well to good old Wolf Hall
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........................................................................
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yeah.. yeah.
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yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah
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well.. maybe not.
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Forever Flamein
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Your probably thinking to yourself righhhttt now
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"I can't help but think that... somewhere out there...
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there's something better to do than read these insane
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scribblings.." but none has been found yet so shut up
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and sit down.. as my bus driver used to say.
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Nonono... it was sitdown and shaddup! thats what it was!
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Noticed how we have had alot of poetry lately!?
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Me 2.
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wonder why.
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did you know the vietnam war is over? No one ever tells me
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anything.. needless to say I'm still gonna kill those commie
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bastiches. It seems I always try to flame alot of people who
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deserve it. I go beyond flaming. I send them mail.. replace
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their friends and family with life like robotic doubles who
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only flame.. *with.. flamethrowers.. hahahahaha..
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RIZZZZZZZZ'S Mr. Nixon. Please.
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I.. really go beyond just annoying someone.
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Anyyyyyyyyywwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..
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I forget.
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ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah
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sometimes I flame people.
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the cat says "Prrrr(/MEOW!)"
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yeah
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thats been established..............................................
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............OR HAS IT!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????
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okay, okay, so anyway....
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yeah
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yeahyeahyeah
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yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
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well, maybe not.
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oh yeah... I flame : Republicans (ALL of them) Democrats (ALL of
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them), Communists (ALL of them) People who would lovvvee this `zine
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(ALL of them) Poupey members (guess. the answer was 32.)
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but you think to yourself : Why aren't these personalized, and..
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AHH!~#!@# NYBARS READING MY THOUGHTS AGAIN !!!
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So this flame is for you.. whoever you are
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(smell of oil) The beaver says "Beaver, Beaver"
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<nybar lights a match>
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WOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Just kidding
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Finished. The end. Good bye. My friend. Poetry? Who.. mr.mcgee?
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Who can here (not hear) it when a moose pisses on an egg cartoon???
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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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A crazy guy named jC i once knew
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who's hair at one time was quite blue
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he would piss moan and gripe
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as he toked on his pipe
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and complain about his old school called shoe
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_________________________________++++++++++++++===============
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there once was a young lad from NIger
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who went for a rid on Nybar
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they came back from the rid with the young lad inside
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and the smile on the face of Nybar
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the moral of the story is you can lead a cat to water; but you can't make
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it break dance
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unless you are playing REALy funk-E music
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........................................................................
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a young man named fro i once knew
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somewhat quite and resevered he was too
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but once and a while he'd chuckle and smile
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and make an odd comment or two
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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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there once was a young lass named julia
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who, if teased became quite unrullie///////
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_______________+++++++++++++==================\
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" The short happy life of Francis MaCamber...sitting on a Wred Wheelbaral"
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So much depends upon eating The duck says "Quack"
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lots of RED meet
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and killing it with BIG dere
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guns...from jeeps...
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so no one will think
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your a big white Chicken
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========================== +++++++++===========================================
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Nyber--"i'll drink to that"
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JC--"you'll drink to anything"
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Nyber--"i'll drink to that"
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thE cow says "Moo"
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........................................................................
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and send some nukes to the democrat party to.
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------------------------------------------------------------
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FROM: Delaware State Mental Hospital (Rockford Center)
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TO: Nybar
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We don't know HOW you escaped.. our guard carl is still in
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a state of shock. What we do know.. if we find you in public..
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we're going to leave you alone from now on!!! STOP SENDING
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YOUR CATS IN!! ALMOST ALL OF OUR STAFF IS WOUNDED And/or DEAD!!
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We will even aid you in your quest for freedom of insanity.
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------------------------------------------------------------------
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FROM: Nybar
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TO: DE State Mental Hospital
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Well.. I'm flattered. I guess my cats can do something more
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worthwile from now on. HAHAHAA.. do you know they talk to me??
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One of them told me that your a bunch of knee biting pussies!
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Even though you guys don't deserve mercy.. I'm gonna give it to me.
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In your next mail.. enclose a $500 dollar check.
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MUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAhahASHSAHAH`!!@##@%!@#$@#$$@#$#@Q$@#Q$
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----------------------------------------------------------------
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FROM: The only NON writer poupey reader
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TO: Nybar
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Are you aware of the fact that no one reads poupey but me?
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And believe me.. I've tried to get other people to read it.
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I dropped 500 copies of Poupey02 out of an airplane over
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New York at 12 on new years. And the wiped their asses on it!
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Why do you even write it?!?!!?
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----------------------------------------------------------------
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FROM: Nybar
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TO: Mr. Crazy guy who reads poupey
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I write it because no one reads it.. I can say anything about
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anybody!!
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---------------------------------------------------------------
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hey.. no one reads poupey.. no more letters.
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........................................................................
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Recipe For I N S A N I T Y
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-------------------------------
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|
|
---------------------------
|
||
|
|
*********************
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Get out some bowels for a-mixin.
|
||
|
|
Make sure to have a biggggggg spoon (for licking).
|
||
|
|
3 shakes of manical, hyena like laughter..
|
||
|
|
Mixed N Shaken with alot of non-linear thoughts and abstract ideas.
|
||
|
|
Take alot of good advice.. and let your mind warp it..
|
||
|
|
And mix whatever remains, with alot of jerks trying to tell you what to do
|
||
|
|
Ahh.. crap.. I forget the rest of the recipe.. but I do know..
|
||
|
|
THE POEM OF THE INSANE!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
If yas want an insanity tis nice..
|
||
|
|
Yer gonna need lotsa spice...
|
||
|
|
As satan calls to you.....
|
||
|
|
"Go make hell.. like a flu!"
|
||
|
|
Make sure to be hellish enough to melt ice!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
As hell is roastin' in your brain..
|
||
|
|
It would drive anyone nigh insane,
|
||
|
|
so use these gifts sparingly..
|
||
|
|
and harrass people daringly..
|
||
|
|
You will be law peoples bayne!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Make sure not to stub your toe..
|
||
|
|
As along lifes road you go,
|
||
|
|
But if you do... wear a shoe,
|
||
|
|
so it never happens again!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Make sure to make fun of the church..
|
||
|
|
And whack repulicans with clubs of birch..
|
||
|
|
Senseitive Poets won't shut up..
|
||
|
|
Pesky neighbors disturb your sup..
|
||
|
|
Don't give money to the beggars that lurch!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Once there was a cat named vimto..
|
||
|
|
Who made mad antics from here to Cairo,
|
||
|
|
He caught lots of mice..
|
||
|
|
Who he ate with sugar and spice..
|
||
|
|
Insane people are never stuck for a rhymO!
|
||
|
|
If they pour acid on a rhinO
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
End the insane poems is what I gotta do..
|
||
|
|
Watch out for spiders in your shoe..
|
||
|
|
Ahh.. this story must end..
|
||
|
|
So good bye my friend..
|
||
|
|
Just go find something to do
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
........................................................................
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Fuzzy Wuzzy
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Fuzzy wuzzy was a snale.
|
||
|
|
Fuzzy wuzzy ate his tail.
|
||
|
|
Fuzzy wuzzy was kind of crazy,
|
||
|
|
WASN'T HE?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
........................................................................
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Heres a list of quoteablle quotes.. for YOUR
|
||
|
|
boring and pointless everyday life:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
AVAST, YE COTTON SWABS!! (nybar)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Hey.. don't bite my dick off (jC)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I ate the whoollleeee thing (nybar)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Why don't III get a quote?!?! (froboy)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Cheese.. the OTHER red meat (nybar)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
yeah.. I patented Joltcola<tm>allright (jC<tm>)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
No.. no you did not paten joltcola <jC>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
He's right you know <froboy>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Yes..... yes I did <jC>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Hello, my name is bob <farmer bob>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Why do you never publish my stories?! <snakeface>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Because you never write any st0ries! <nybar>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Actually.. most of the people on the member list were
|
||
|
|
figments of nybars mind.. like me.. yipyip.. <yipyip>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
No.. your real.. NOOOOOO!~#+#@!( <nybar>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Snakes don't wear vests cause they don't have arms <jc>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Yes they do.. they wear sox <nybar>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
The cat? <froboy>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
That presidential cat is spoiled <nybar>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Snakes don't wear sox the cat <jC>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Ok I admit it I lie like a tooth-brush <froboy>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Why were you admitting it?! <nybar>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Gee I dunno <froboy>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Well gosh darn gee willickers thats great <nybar>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Yeah whatever <jC>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Finished <nybar>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
No it's not <froboy>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Yes it is <jC>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Everyone shut up.. mewmew <mewmew>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
You shut up to mewmew <nybar>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Ok.. everyone shut up.. INCLUDING me.. <mewmew>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
yeah.. you phear us -jC
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Why... why? -nybar
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
because we be kool -jC
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
what?! what happened!??! -nybar
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
you write this story -jC
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I write ALLLLLLLLLLLL the storis!! -nybar
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
FUCKIN A!! -jC
|
||
|
|
yeah whatever -nybar
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
------------------------------------------11---------------------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
The story - by Nybar
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
so one day there was a guy who was named mama babushka.
|
||
|
|
and then he decided to eat his wheat cakes.
|
||
|
|
and ethe evil withc almost got him.
|
||
|
|
but she didn't. and he ate his wheat cakes.
|
||
|
|
and he said "MM.. good!" and I wanted some
|
||
|
|
but he wouldn't let me have any.
|
||
|
|
anyway.. he needed a bath.. so he went to sleep.
|
||
|
|
and dreamt of a world where you can have your wheat cakes..
|
||
|
|
and eat them to.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
NIF (it's a super secret code for fin)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
........................................................................
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
A place to pee..
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Sometimes.. somehow.. there just... has to..
|
||
|
|
Gotta be a place to pee.. mmmm.. doo doo..
|
||
|
|
Just a place to pee.. baby doll.. now he gets a prize..
|
||
|
|
Why oh why? Why oh why? Did I dance.. just the PP dance..
|
||
|
|
Why Why why? that is hard to get outttt offff......
|
||
|
|
And ifffff.... you wanttt.. a <cry> place to peeee..
|
||
|
|
Dooo the PPPP PPPP danceee.......... ohhh stay.... the hell..
|
||
|
|
Away from meeee.. and keep away.... from the garden.
|
||
|
|
Go do it in the lake boyeeee.. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhh.
|
||
|
|
RELIEF!RELIEF!RELIEF!RELIEF!PPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!
|
||
|
|
BODILY FUNCTION MY PENIS DOCTOR! THE PEE PEE IS FROM BEYOND!!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
........................................................................
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Big bad bumblefuck fred flintstone style - by nybar
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Can you imagine what sex between fred and wilma must be like?
|
||
|
|
God! It must be a marathon! I mean.. just LOOK at Fred. Lust IS
|
||
|
|
better then love. And wilma.. I mean.. if she can lift that
|
||
|
|
friggin meat slab that weighs 500 lbs.. you KNOW she's mean in the
|
||
|
|
bed. And what about barney and betty? I don't think barney knows how
|
||
|
|
ta get dowwnnn well enough.. cause ya know they ADOPTED bam bam.
|
||
|
|
Did YOU know that flintstone pills were originally introduced
|
||
|
|
to increase ones sex capacity? True story. I wonder if dino ever got
|
||
|
|
any. Actually.. I don't think I want to think about that right now.
|
||
|
|
Ya Know Barnie's pet.. Hoppy? I seen Dino eyin her. <winkwink>
|
||
|
|
Catchy name.. isn't it? You know.. the show the flintstones came
|
||
|
|
AFTER flintstone vitamins. Some people say it's a ripoff of the
|
||
|
|
honeymooners.. but the honeymooners can't get down like that!~
|
||
|
|
!!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Finis
|