84 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
84 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
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________/\ /\____
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\_____ \____/ \
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/ - / - \ - /
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/ /__/ \ /
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\___/ \______/___/
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Rancidium (A quick & easy explosive)
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- Take a liquid plumber bottle, 1/2 EMPTY... Put in lighter fluid, & put on
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top plastic wrap to seal it. Pierce plastic wrap & insert a wick (preferably
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long). Then, set the wick on fire & run.. Basically what you just created is
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: Chemistry coming up here:
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- Lighter fluid starts burning
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- Liquid Plumber becomes active
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- Internal pressure causes Liquid Lighter misxutre to mix w/ plastic
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- Plastic blows
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- Little bits of corrosive-acid laced plastic blow all over & anyone in the
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path will need some GOOD plastic surgery
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Santa Claus is a Pedophile (Song) Sing to the tune of Santa Claus is coming
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to town
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You better not tell
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You better not sue
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Thats cause I'm telling you why
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Santa Claus is a pedophile
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He gives you gifts
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To shut you up
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So you won't sue his ass
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Santa Claus is a pedophile
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You sit on his lap
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He smiles so
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Gets to bury his bone
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Santa Claus is a pedophile
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Ever wonder why he got to be a saint?
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That's cause he was a priest
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And priests are pedophiles...
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(I commited blasphemy! Oh no! Someone shoot me)
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Some thoughts on Christmas
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Christmas is the one holidat which makes me physically sick. Think. What
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is their to celebrate? The birth of Jesus? Mi amigo, that is total bullshit.
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(Quick history lesson coming up)
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Way back in the 100 ads, Christianity's main competition among the outskirts
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of the Roman Empire (where the Roman religion hadn't exactly caught on), was
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a religion called Mithraism. Mithraism worshipped "Mithras", a prophet who
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lived in Persia. He was credited with healing the sick, feeding people,
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prophecy & all the things your typical holy man does. But, with a difference:
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According to the religion, Mithras was born on December 25th to a virgin.
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Wow! Sound familar? Anyhow, Mithraism was a pretty damn cool religion, with
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most celebrations marked by getting drunk & having massive orgies. Of course,
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Christianity with it's somber, brainwashing, no-sex no-fun no-anything
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philosiphy couldn't compete that well. So, the Church seniors decided to
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have a symposium on how to cope with it. So, they decided to celebrate Jesus's
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birthday every 25th of December, with a somber church service. (Not fun, but
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with the proper spin put on it, well...).
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So now you know the truth about Christmas. So now what do you have left?
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Just lots of commercial bullshit by big corperation$ wanting you to buy their
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neato 300,000$ new products, the church celebrating a BS holiday, & stupid
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motherfucks from the Salvation Army begging for money. And the stupid
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HYPOCRISY of Christmas sickens me.. The theme is supposed to be love &
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happiness, but all people do is hate & threaten each other over the holiday.
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Geez...
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Top ten names for Nirvana tribute albums
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10. Nine Inch Nails "Head Like a Hole"
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9. Hole "Hole"
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8. Pearl Jam "Hey, we're the #1 grunge band now!"
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7. Marilyn Manson "Get Your Gunns"
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6. KMFDM "Don't Blow Your Top"
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5. Dinosaur Jr. "Feel the Pain"
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4. Stone Temple Poseurs "Big Empty (Head)"
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3. REM "Bang and Blame"
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2. Soundgarden "Fresh Tendrils"
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1. Jimi Hendrix "Pink Haze (of guts all over the floor"
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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