textfiles/magazines/MINIAIR/mair94-2.txt

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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1994-02
June, 1994
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words:science humor,Improbable Research,Ig Nobel
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The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities.
Published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
at The MIT Museum
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1994-02-01      TABLE OF CONTENTS

1994-02-01      Table of Contents
1994-02-02      Pieces of Schneerson
1994-02-03      Announcing AIRhead Project 2000
1994-02-04      Recap (by pop req) of 1991 Ig Nobel Prizewinners
1994-04-05      Specimen of the Month
1994-02-06      May We Recommend...
1994-02-07      AIR extracts now syndicated on USENET
1994-02-08      News about AIR
1994-02-09      Upcoming Events
1994-02-10      Calls for Papers
1994-02-11      Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
1994-02-12      How to Submit Articles (*)
1994-02-13      How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)
1994-02-14      AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*)
1994-02-15      Please DO make copies! (*)

                Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.


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1994-02-02      Pieces of Schneerson

Pieces of Schneerson: Culturing the Immortal Cell Line RMS94

by Sam Greenberg, New York City. Translated from the original
Hebrew by Karen Hopkin, Yeshiva University.

This month, members of the ultra-Orthodox Lubavitch Hasidic group
mourned the death of their Grand Rabbi Menachem Schneerson.  Many
of the Rebbe's followers apparently believed Schneerson to be
immortal--the Messiah predicted in the Old Testament.  To
determine whether Schneerson could be considered immortal, we
obtained cell samples from the Rebbe's frontal cortex, left
forearm, and lower intestine during his 3-month hospitalization at
Beth Israel in New York.  These cells were tested for their
ability to grow indefinitely in culture.

We found that neurons from Schneerson's brain [1] exhibited growth
patterns typical of immortalized cells --growth in the absence of
contact with the culture plate; a decreased requirement for serum
growth factors; and the ability to overcome replicative senescence
(cultures were monitored for more than 250 median population
doublings).  The other cell types did not exhibit immortal growth
[2].

Single-strand conformational polymorphism analysis indicates that
Schneerson's neurons (cell line RMS94) contain a mutation in the
tumor suppressor Retinoblastoma (Rb) gene. This point mutation
would lead to the replacement of a glutamic acid residue (E) in
the Rb protein.  Further studies are needed to determine how the
RbE mutation leads to immortality.

NOTES:

[1] Cell line RMS94 will be available through the American Type
Culture Collection, ATCC #4494R for further physiological and
genetic analyses or for divine inspiration.

[2] The significance of the immortality of only the Rebbe's brain
cells is currently under investigation by a team of molecular
biologists and biblical scholars.


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1994-02-03      Announcing AIRhead Project 2000

With year 2000 fast[1] approaching, many [2] scientific, medical,
engineering, legal, educational, governmental and marketing
organizations are sponsoring research projects that involve the
number two thousand.  The Annals of Improbable Research is
compiling a list of such studies. Randomly selected items fro the
list include:

        #1.     "Library 2000," MIT

        #2.     "NASA MINDS 2000+," Eastern Michigan U. and NASA

        #3.     "Education 2000," United Kingdom

        #4.     Goals 2000 Initiative," U.S. Dept of Education

        #5.     Information Management 2000," Univ. of St. Gallen

We are also assembling a complete collection of products (and/or
advertisements for products) which are related to the number two
thousand. The collection presently consists of these items:

        #1.     "Biomek 2000 Laboratory Automation Workstation"
                from Beckman.

        #2.     "Lever 2000 soap."  The manufacturer's advertisements
                point out that the soap can be used to cleanse
                a human being's 2000 body parts.

        #3.     "2000 Flushes automatic toilet bowl cleaner."

        #4.     "2000 Flushes Blue automatic toilet bowl cleaner."

        #5.     "2000 Flushes Chlorine Clear automatic toilet bowl
                cleaner."

AIRhead Project 2000 is seeking additions to our list of projects,
and additions to our collection of products and/or ads for
products. Please do not send products that have been previously
used and/or ingested. All materials should be sent to the address
given below.

NOTES:

1. The rate of approach is approx. one year per year.

2. Approx. two thousand.


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1994-02-03      Recap (by pop req) of 1991 Ig Nobel Prizewinners

Many readers have requested that we publish a list of previous
years' Ig Nobel Prizewinners.  The first public ceremony was held
in 1991. The winners that year included:

1991 Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize: Jacques Benveniste
prolific proselytizer and dedicated correspondent of "Nature," for his
persistent discovery that water, H2O, is an intelligent liquid and for
demonstrating to his satisfaction that water is able to remember events
long after all trace of those events has vanished.

1991 Ig Nobel Education Prize: J. Danforth Quayle
consumer of time and occupier of space, for demonstrating, better than
anyone else, the need for science education.  (The acceptance speech was
delivered by someone who claimed to be Vice President Quayle but who
appeared to be an eight-year-old girl.)

1991 Ig Nobel Biology Prize: Robert Klark Graham
selector of seeds and prophet of propagation, for his pioneering
development of the Repository for Germinal Choice, a sperm bank that
accepts donations from Nobellians and Olympians.

1991 Ig Nobel Literature Prize: Erich Von Daniken
visionary raconteur and author of "Chariots of the Gods," for explaining
how human civilization was influenced by ancient astronauts from outer
space.

1991 Ig Nobel Peace Prize: Edward Teller
father of the hydrogen bomb and first champion of the Star Wars weapons
system, for his lifelong efforts to change the meaning of peace as we
know it.  (The Ig Nobel Committee was unable to find anyone who was
willing to accept the prize on behalf of Edward Teller.)

1991 Ig Nobel Economics Prize: Michael Milken
titan of Wall Street and father of the junk bond, to whom the world is
indebted.

1991 Ig Nobel Pedestrian Technology Prize: Paul Defanti
wizard of structures and crusader for public safety, for his invention
of the Buckybonnet, a geodesic fashion structure that pedestrians wear
to protect their heads and preserve their composure.

1991 Ig Nobel Interdisciplinary Research Prize: Josiah Carberry
bold explorer and eclectic seeker of knowledge, for his pioneering work
in the field of psychoceramics, the study of cracked pots.

1991 Ig Nobel Medicine Prize: Alan Kligerman
deviser of digestive deliverance, vanquisher of vapor, and inventor of
Beano, for his pioneering work with antigas liquids that prevent bloat,
gassiness, discomfort, and embarrassment.


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1994-04-04      Specimen of the Month

Taxonomic and analytical text prepared by Emmert Lowery, Jr.
This item is on exhibit at The MIT Museum.

Item #83002D. "No Knife. A study in mixed media earth tones,
number three." Realized by James Tetazoo. December 1984.

This object d'art was found in the midst of an art Exhibit at
MIT's List Galleries in the Weisner Arts and Media Building,
installed by students whose identity remains unknown. It consists
of a gray plastic tray surmounted by two spoons, a plate, a bowl,
a glass, and a fork.

The artist's mode d'emploi relies upon minimalist kinematic
methods; space and time are frozen in a staid reality of
restrained sexuality. Temporary occasionalism, soon overcome
throughout by symbolic nihility, pervades our earliest perception
of the work. An overturned throwaway obelisk functions as symbolic
pedestal; the work rests upon a manifestation of grey toned
absence. Epicurean imagery is employed most effectively by
Tetazoo; the glass, the porcelain, the plastic move in conflicting
directions and yet are joined in a mood of stark pacifism. The
sterile lateralism of the grouped utensils (sans knife), conveys a
sens of eternal ennui, framed within the subtle ambience of
discrete putrefaction. The casual formalism of the place setting
draws upon our common internal instinct of existential persistence
to unify us withe the greater consciousness of human bondage.


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1994-02-05      May We Recommend...

Research reports that merit a trip to the library:

"A Partial Form of Lycanthropy with Hair Delusion in a Manic-
Depressive Patient," by H. Verdoux and M. Bourgeois, "British
Journal of Psychiatry," vol. 163, pp. 685-686.

"Rewarming Hypothermic Animals with Microwaves," by Ken Bartels,
"Veterinary Forum," March 1994, pp. 28 and following.  (Thanks to
Joseph Musielak for bringing this to our attention.)

(We welcome your suggestions for this column.  Please include full
citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.)


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1994-02-07      AIR extracts now syndicated on USENET

"Extracts from the The Annals of Improbable Research" will now
appear in the form of a syndicated weekly column.  The items there
will be different from those which appear here in mini-AIR.

If your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups,
you can read these extracts in the USENET news group named

        clari.feature.imprb_research

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Through no fault of our own, our column is
appearing at the same time Dave Barry's column is disappearing.
Dave's column was one of the few things on the Internet that we
read faithfully, and we will miss it sorely.  Apparently, an
executive at Knight Ridder, the corporation which owns the rights
to Dave's column, decided that the Internet is a dangerous place.
By the power vested (by ourselves)in us, we hereby proclaim that
executive (whose name we do not know) to be an honorary AIR head.]


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1994-02-08      News about AIR

1. We will be announcing details soon about how to subscribe to
the print version of AIR.  We hope to publish the first issue this
fall.  Any generous support we receive from patrons of the
improbable will help hasten that day.  If you or your organization
would like to help, please get in touch.

2. Our office is in the MIT Museum, where AIR and mini-AIR are
published. When you are in town, please drop by to say hello and
discuss your research or lack thereof.

3. Several mysterious people have inquired whether it is possible
to obtain group subscriptions to AIR as gifts for customers,
employees, students, patients, or whatnot. The answer is yes.

4. We are looking for volunteer interns to help with
correspondence and research. If you live in the Cambridge area and
feel so inclined, please get in touch.

5. Marilyn Geller, our Technical Brains, will soon depart from
MIT, leaving us, technically speaking, half-Brained at best.
Many, many thanks to Marilyn for her help, wisdom, patience, and
foregone sleep in launching first mini-JIR, then mini-AIR.
Marilyn has consented to remain loosely affiliated with mini-AIR,
in exchange for the odd (tasting) cup of coffee.


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1994-02-08      Upcoming Events

INTERTEL CONFERENCE                     Tues., July 5
Hyatt Regency Hotel, Cambridge, MA. For info call (718) 275-2653

BARNES AND NOBLE, Brookline, MA Thurs., July 28, 8:00
Slide show/seminar/heckling. For info call (617) 566-5562

MIT ALUMNI/AE CLUB OF LONG ISLAND               date TBA

"CRAZY AFTER CALCULUS"                          ongoing
An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from
prehistoric times through the presen. [NOTE: The police car that
recently materialized atop MIT's Great Dome is now in storage at
The MIT Museum.]
   The MIT Museum
   265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA  02139  USA
   (617) 253-4422               (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu)

1994 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY            Thurs., October 6
Kresge Auditorium,MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
You are cordially invited to attend.

INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY            Mon., October 10
Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD
For info call (518) 387-7942

GODDARD SPACE CENTER, Greenbelt, MD             date TBA

MENSA CONVENTION, Chicago, IL           Sat., Oct. 29
For info call Dianne Miller, (708) 747-5651

***

In honor (?) of the new book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning
Rubble," (see below) the books's editor and many of its other
authors are barnstorming North America, doing readings/slide shows
and presenting current trends in improbable research.

Stops on this first leg of the tour included:
POWELL'S TECHNICAL BOOKS, Portland, OR;
UNIV. OF PORTLAND; MICROSOFT, Redmond, WA; UNIV. of WASHINGTON,
Seattle; UC BERKELEY; 3DO, Redwood City, CA;
"WEST COAST LIVE" (NPR); U CHICAGO; NORTHERN ILLINOIS U;
SCI-FI MINICON, Bloomington, MN; BROOKHAVEN NAT'L LAB;
COLUMBIA PRSBYTERIAN MEDICAL CTR; NEW YORK MENSA CLUB;
CORNELL U. MEDICAL CENTER; BRYN MAWR COLLEGE; FRANKLIN INSTITUTE,
Philadelphia; ARMY RESEARCH FORUM, Alexandria, VA;
ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY, Washington, DC;
CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE OF TECHNOLOGY ASSESSMENT, Washington, DC;
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, Washington, DC; MARY WASHINGTON COLLEGE,
Fredricksburg, VA; NAVY RESEARCH LAB, Washington DC;
NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH, Bethesda, MD; HORN POINT
ENVIRONMENTAL LAB, Cambridge, MD; TECHNICON SCI-FI CONVENTION,
VIRGINIA TECH, Blacksburg, VA; CEBAF NATIONAL LAB; U CINCINNATI;
AMERICAN CHEMICAL SOCIETY, Cincinatti, OH; OHIO STATE U;
CORNELL UNIVERSITY; MIT ALUMNI CLUB of NEW HAMPSHIRE

::::: THE NEXT LEGS:  Invite us to your place!!
Other events are being organized now.
If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Improbable
Science Event for 50 or more people at your city, university,
hospital, research center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP
please contact the editor .


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1994-02-09      Calls for Papers

CALL FOR SLIDES AND X-RAYS that show unexpected shapes (swans,
chickens, elephants, the Eiffel Tower, dogs, fish, smiley faces,
ships, trains, Bart Simpson, Margaret Thatcher, etc., etc.). The
most outstanding of these will appear on the cover of AIR.

CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "The nutritional value of comets."
The chemical composition of comets has been studied extensively.
Though incomplete, enough data exists to make possible a
preliminary nutritional analysis of comets. Please base your
research report on actual existing data, not on speculation.

CALL FOR DATA for AIR's "Project Um."
Project Um is a massive ongoing, comprehensive, international
survey of how often university and high school lecturers use the
word "um" (or its equivalent in other languages).  We are
accepting data ONLY for lectures that are of standard academic
drone length (50-60 minutes).  If your data concern several
different lectures, please list the data separately for each
lecture.
Data should be submitted concisely in the following format:
        Name and city of institution
        Name of lecturer
        General subject of the lecture (e.g., physics,history,etc.)
        Number of times the lecturer spoke the word "um."

CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1994 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes
are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be
reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or
otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail.


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1994-02-10      Purpose of mini-AIR (*)

The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news
about improbable research and ideas. Specifically:

A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of
research news and satire from the Annals of Improbable Research
(AIR).

B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel Prizes
honor "achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced." A
public ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge Massachusetts, every
October. The ceremony is sponsored jointly by The MIT Museum and
AIR.

C) News about other science humor activities intentional and
otherwise.

WHAT IS AIR? (An introduction, of sorts)
AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial
staff of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR)," the
world's oldest satirical science journal. The new magazine's co-
founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited JIR from 1990-1994, and
Alexander Kohn, who founded JIR in 1955 and was its editor until
1989. AIR is published at the MIT Museum in Cambridge, MA.
The new magazine's editorial board consists of more than 40
distinguished scientists from around the world, including, among
others, seven Nobel prizewinners and Marilyn Vos Savant (who is
listed in the Guinness Book of World Records Hall of Fame for
"Highest IQ"). Every October, AIR and the MIT Museum together
produce the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose
achievements cannot or should not be reproduced.

Readers who are curious about why the entire staff felt compelled
to leave the old magazine and start AIR may wish to consult the
June 9 issue of the research journal "Nature."

----------------------------------------
1994-02-11      How to Submit Articles (*)

AIR publishes original articles, data, effluvia and news of
improbable scientific research. The material is intended to be
humorous and/or educational, and sometimes is. We look forward to
receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays, drawings, etc.
Please do not send biological samples. Photos should be black &
white if possible.  Reports of research RESULTS, modest or
otherwise, are preferred to speculative proposals.

Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length.
Articles exclusively for mini-AIR should be much shorter.
Please send two neatly printed copies.
Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format.

Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge
receipt of printed manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a
SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE.


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1994-02-12      How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)

::::: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)

AIR is an indispensable print publication that will appear six
times per year. We will publish subscription info in future issues
of mini-AIR.
To obtain subscription info as soon as it becomes available,
please mail a SASE to the address given below.


::::: The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR)

mini-AIR is an electronic publication, available over the
Internet, free of charge. It is distributed as a LISTSERV
application.  We publish approximately 12 issues per year.
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either of these
addresses:
        LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU     or      LISTSERV@MITVMA
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words "SUBSCRIBE
MINI-AIR" followed by your name.
Here are two examples:
        SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Irene Curie Joliot
        SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Nicholai Lobachevsky
To stop subscribing,
send the following message to the same address:
        SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
To obtain a list of back issues,
send this message:
        INDEX MINI-AIR
To retrieve a particular back issue,
send a message specifying which issue you want.
For example, to retrieve issue 94-00001,send this message:
        GET MINI-AIR 94-00001

To obtain a somewhat complete list of gopher sites that maintain
mini-AIR, email us a request.


::::: Books

"Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further
improbabilities): More of the Best of The Journal of
Irreproducible Results," Marc Abrahams, editor.
A collection of dangerously potent science humor, much of it
written by the people who have now founded AIR. With riveting
photos, x-rays and eye charts.
Workman Publishing, New York, 1993.     ISBN 1-56305-312-8      $14

"The Journal of the Institute for Hacks, TomFoolery, and Pranks at
MIT," by Brian Leibowitz.
A complete history, lavishly illustrated with inspirational
photos, of the world's leading institute for elegantly conceived,
engineered, and connived collegiate practical joking.
The MIT Museum, Cambridge, 1988.  ISBN-0-917027-03-5            $24

Both books are available from the MIT Museum. The prices quoted
here include shipping/handling to any destination at or above sea
level. For expedited Air Mail Service to locations outside the US,
add $12 to the order. Otherwise, we'll ship book rate. These books
can also be found in many libraries and bookstores.

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1994-02-13      AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses

Our mailing address:

        The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
        The MIT Museum
        265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
        (617) 253-4462  fax: (617)253-8994

        The editor can also be reached at:  (617) 491-4437

        PLEASE include your Internet address
        in all printed correspondence.

Our Internet addresses:

        Editorial matters:      air@mit.edu
        Ig Nobel matters:               ig@mit.edu

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1994-02-14      Please DO make copies! (*)

You have permission to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts
from it. The only limitations are:
A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is
reprinted with permission.
B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for
commercial purposes.
                                ----------------
(c) copyright 1994, The Annals of Improbable Research
                                ----------------
The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR)
        Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu)
        Chairman of the Editorial Board: Alexander Kohn
        Lame Duck Technical Brains: Marilyn Geller (mgeller@mit.edu)
        Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick
        Museum Exhibits Coordinator: Diego Garcia

==================================================================
        ************************************************************
        IMPORTANT
        The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY associated
        with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results"
        or with the publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible
        Results"
        ************************************************************