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3.6 KiB
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96 lines
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #3, Issue 11, File #052 ]
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[ "Top Ten Lists" By Mustaine ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Top Ten.
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[Mustaine]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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After walking in dead tired today from wading through all the damn snow
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that's been plauging the area I decided it was time to do some more "Top Ten"
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lists. I've done some before that were never published...so I decided to
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start fresh and do some new ones that Raven *might* publish. Enjoy!
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Top Ten ways to piss off President Clinton
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1) E-Mail president@whitehouse.gov with a really nastly letter
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including the words 'hate', 'kill', and 'health-reform.'
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2) Get Chelcy pregnant.
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3) Kill Socks.
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4) Get Hillary pregnant.
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5) Call the Star and release a story about how president Clinton is
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really a gay man in disguise.
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6) Claim to be Clinton's illagitamte son or daughter.
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7) Shoot at the white house. You've got about 2 minutes to run
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before they will realize what's going on.
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8) E-Mail Al Gore telling him that Clinton screwed his wife.
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(vice-president@whitehouse.gov)
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9) Prank call the white house pretending to be Saddamn Hussein. Ask
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Clinton if he wants to come to a Christmass party.
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10) Shave off all of Socks' hair, and re-image a photo of Clinton and
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Socks doing the wild thing.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Top Ten Worst ways to Die
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1) Have sex with Rosanne.
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2) Complain to the stressed out Slurpee boy with the gun.
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3) Piss off Mustaine. (you'll see)
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4) Die from blood loss incurred from feline puncture wounds to your
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penis.
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5) Be the old lady in those Doritos Commercials.
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6) Play fire fighters with Beavis and Butthead.
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7) Drive with Pornlo to the mall.
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8) Drive with Raven to the mall.
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9) Drive with Essex to the mall.
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10) Attempt to have sexual encounters with a sperm whale.
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That's all I can think of right now. BUT I KNOW there are readers out
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there that have better Top Ten Lists. Type them up and send them to
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mustaine@wam.umd.edu and Mind Warp will publish them in future issues.
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Until then, peace, happy sex, and large testacles!
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Greets : Raven, Pornlo, Danni, alt.gymkana.and.crew, the Chief
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[Editor's Note: After #8, see if Musty ever writes for this zine again!]
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[Another Note: Of course he will, he's the only one who does! :) ]
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==============================================================================
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Call Hell's Kitchen - (301) 989-8510
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==============================================================================
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