77 lines
4.2 KiB
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77 lines
4.2 KiB
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #0, Issue #7, File #007 ]
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[ "Cruelty to Animals" by Raven ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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20 Ways to Be Cruel to Animals
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[Raven/EoS]
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This is a list I've compiled of several ways to torture, maim, kill,
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and/or generally be cruel to small, helpless woodland creatures, and some
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domesticated ones too.
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1) The classic "pyrotechnics in a creature's mouth" works great on reptiles
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and amphibians such as frogs, snakes, lizrds, etc...
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2) For larger animals, insert tampons into an its butt, and, hopefully, it
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will die (slowly and painfully) of constipation.
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3) Follow step 2, and then give the poor creature a ton of fiber and const-
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ipation medication. haha.
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4) A combination of numbers 1 & 2, insert fireworks into an animal's butt
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(I'm sure we've all heard the "M-80 up a cat's butt" story).
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5) After Step 4, "clean the animal's wounds" with a bucket of alcohol.
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6) Anotherr classic: Mix up chunks of alka-seltzer tablets with popcorn or
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bread, feed it to the birds, and watch 'em explode.
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7) Hog-tie a cat, and drop it off a 10 story building, I bet it won't land
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on its feet. <eg>
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8) Variation on 2 & 4: give the animal (say a gerbil) to Richard Gere, and
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he'll jam it up HIS butt.
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9) Find a yip-yip dog (those little dogs, that bark too much, a chihuahua
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for example), and shut it up by super glueing it's lips together (epoxy
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could also work, but it takes longer to dry than super glue, and the
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fumes will probably kill it before it's suffered enough pain).
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10) Get a car battery, some jumper-cables, and a metal pan. Fill the pan up
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with some water, then connect the jumper cables to the battery and the
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pan and wait for a dog to come for a sip of water.
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11) On Halloween, douse a dog or cat in gasoline, and set it aflame. Not
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only will you get a good laugh, but you'll also get to scare some kids as
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they see a firey hell hound running through the steets, yelping.
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12) FROG BASEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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13) Find a dog/cat with one of those lamp-shade collars that prevents it from
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touching it's head and face, and pour a jar of ants on its head.
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14) Pummel an animal to death with a plastic wiffle bat.
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15) During the winter, shave an animal, and tie it to a tree outside.
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16) If you or a friend has a pet bird, whose wings aren't clipped, fashion a
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noose or a slipnot out of some thin, nylon fishing wire, put it around
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the bird's neck, let out a lot of slack, and then let the bird fly off.
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After it's gotten to about 20 yards, give the fishing wire a strong tug.
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17) As slow as possible, gently crush an animal's head in the door jam of its
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owner's house.
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18) Tie a dog to the back of your car, and drive off down a dirt rode.
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(the movie 'Vacation')
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19) Find a dog, hit it in the head with a baseball bat, tie it up, and when
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it regains consciousness, take a pair of plyers, and pull it's teeth out
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one by one. Now let it go in the woods.
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20) Catch a fish (or go to a friend's house who has an aquarium) and pull the
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fish out of the water, and leave. (or stick around to watch it flap
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and jump about, until it dies)
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That's it for this issue. I liked it. I think I'll write another
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one on inflicting pain upon animals.
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==============================================================================
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Call Arsonist's Arsenal BBS the Mind Warp WHQ - (301) 208-0847
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==============================================================================
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