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j o n a s : r e i n c a r n a t i o n
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
jonas - issue dirteen - november 13, 1995
jonas is produced roughly monthly by edicius. jonas and the materials
contained therein, are all copyrighted by edicius, too. jonas may
be distributed freely as long as this copyright notice remains
in place, so don't move it, bucko!
if you have no idea, change your religion.
if you have a religion, change your idea.
one thousand mona lisas % "green light"
+---- --- -- - -----------+ edicius' editorial +------------- - -- --- ----+
in memory: yitzhak rabin, shannon hoon.
hey-ho. i'm so big, i'm so cool, i'm just so fuckin' elite. "hey
man, you got the garbage file?!1 thats ELiTE!@1" anyhoo; i have a question
for you.
since when did halloween become the most exploited holiday in the
history of mankind? all of a sudden, it seems that all of the rules of
halloween have been thrown out. the ethics of this hallowed day that i grew
up with as a kid, have been thrown out the window.
let's go back to a different time. (cue wavy lines on your monitor
right now.) a few years ago, i was younger, you were younger. i lived in a
different town, not far away from where i live now. i was walking around
town, trudging a wet pillowcase filled with candy. my "jason" hockey mask
flung over my head. i was tired, wet, yet happy.
they were simpler times. kids dressed up in creative constumes (hey,
don't knock "jason", its creative, read on..), getting candy, seldom seeing
a decorated house. it was all good, it was simple back then.
suddenly, things changed. it didn't happen over a few years, you
didn't see it here, and then there, and then everywhere. it just happened.
maybe its because i'm older, and i notice more things now, but other people
have noticed it, too. it's not just me.
suddenly, people are decorating their houses. sure, people did that
in the past for halloween, maybe a pumpkin and some corn stalks, but now,
people put ten tombstones, these big ass sheets that they call 'ghosts',
and a whole lot of other stuff. stores are making big bussiness off of it,
too. no more of this thanksgiving then christmas crud. now its halloween,
thanksgiving, and then christmas. they'll just extend it more, soon labor
day will be mass marketed and exploited, too.
also, another thing that peeves me about the whole halloween dealy
deal, is that since when do kids get by without dressing up? i admit, it
gets annoying giving out candy and all, but then i think back a few years,
and remember how much fun it was to get the candy, thank the person, and
scamper off to the next house.
something different is happening now. i notice that _alot_ of kids
that i go to school with, like high school sophomores, juniors, and seniors,
are going out trick or treating. i had one kid come to my house, regular
clothes, paper bag, must have been 16 or 17. my mom gave him candy, and
asked him what he was, he said "i'm an undercover fbi agent." dickhead.
why don't kids dress up anymore? i see kids that are like 8 going out
in regular clothes, without dressing up. i've lost all faith in major
holidays now; they've exploited christmas, easter, and thankgiving. saint
nick, the easter bunny, and the turkey, yest we add the great pumpkin to
this list? i think not.
STOP EXPLOITING ALL THE HOLIDAYS. LEAVE SOME FUN IN THEM FOR KIDS
STILL. DOWN WITH THE ARISTOCRATS WHO DAMAGE OUR HOLIDAYS. BAD BAD.
wee-haw. that was fun. now, if you excuse me, i'll be gettin' my
prozac pills. now, for some news.
this issue of jonas will be alittle longer then most previous issues.
i've done some capturing of messages that i've found, and typed up some
interesting newspaper articles. overall, its just longer.
also; this issue will be the best issue jonas has ever put out.
"really?!@1", you ask yourself. really. i've done much more work then i
have the previous issues, i've been on a creative streak. i've had some
pretty good ideas for this issue too. i think this issue will redefine the
word "'zine".
maybe it _won't_ redefine the word "'zine". oh-kay. maybe it won't
redefine anything, but i'm still pleased with how this issue is coming out
_so-far_. (yes, as always, i'm writing this way ahead of time.)
thats weird. that last comment i put in here. most prior issues of
jonas, i got my articles that were submitted to me, wrote some stuff on my
own, and then put it all together. beginning to end time was maybe a week,
tops. but this issue, its different. i actually started writing this way
ahead of time. right after issue 12 came out, i started work on this.
i think i like this method, too. i put down all of the different
story ideas in my head, and worked on them seperately. i'm really happy
with how my editorial came out, too. all and all, i'm really pleased with
this issue. except for one thing;
as of _this_ writing of my editorial (note the 'this', i sometimes can
write parts or the whole editorial a bunch of times.) its about 2 weeks
before my target release date, and i have _no_ submissions. terminal
velocity said he would do some stuff, but thats it. i have _nothing_.
everything in here is written by me. ack!@ i should just go elite, and go
solo. yeah, thats an idea.
(* late editorial note, terminal velocity _didn't_ contribute
anything, asshole *)
i can change the name of the 'zine to "edicius". i'd be a solo 'zine.
i'd scoff at the non-believers, and just say that i'm leeter then them.
yeah, that'd be rad. i think i will do that.
"ralph, get the guns. we have a lamer on the loose."
ok, i get the point. i think i'll be leaving now.
but before i go, i want to remind you of something that we're doing.
the next issue of jonas shall be out on december 14, yeah, exactly at that
time. there will be a really special issue of jonas that will be put
together, especially for a special person's birthday (hint, hint, nudge
nudge..) so, be waiting, it shall be a really good issue. submit for it,
too! you'll be pleased.
also, take a few minutes, and fill out the survey. just use a regular
text editor, and fill it out. its not that hard. i'd like to get a real
good sampling of people for this survey, i want a really good survey result
article to write. so fill them out, fuckas!
one last thing, i swear. if you're hep to the net and looking for the
ultimate in 'zine madness, point your web browsers to 'zineworld, the
ultimate experience - http://www.pla-net.net/~jwapienn/zineworld/ - got
that? you better. thanks to mercuri, this page lists an amazing and
growing number of links and web papges for many underground computer 'zines.
WE LOVE MERCURI!
ok, thanks enough for now.
buhbye.
xoxo
elite edi.
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
oh yeah, if you want to reach us here at jonas-land. here:
world head quarter type board -- avalon, (908) 739 4274. check out
elyte jonas matrix option.
email -- edi@raven.cybercomm.net
web page -- http://www.vitinc.com/~rmini/jonas.html
(thanks to fat slayer. send inquiries to rmini@vitinc.com)
you can also retreve the latest issues of jonas via ftp --
ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/Jonas
more information about jonas can be found by fingering edicius.. (o0o,
you nasty boy).. -- finger edi@raven.cybercomm.net
+-- - --+
AT&T AND MICROSOFT HEAR ME WALKING DOWN THE STREET WITH MY LINEMAN'S
HANDSET AND BETA VERSIONS OF WIN97, AND SAY TO THEMSELVES "DAMN HE'S FUCKIN'
ELiTE!@1"
+---- --- -- - ------+ open letter to michael stipe +-------- - -- --- ----+
dear mister stipe and rem:
i am petitioning you and your band to change your lyrics. in one your
songs, "end of the world (and i feel fine)", you have a line that reads as
follows:
"the other night i tripped a nice continental drift divide, mount saint
edelite, leonard bernstine"
i am asking that you change the lyric to read:
"the other night i tripped a nice continental drift divide, mount saint
EDICIUS, leonard bernstine"
edelite? who's heard of 'mount saint edelite'? who's heard of 'mount
said edicius', for that matter. no one, really. but edicius, its the same
amount of letters and sounds like 'edelite'. the word edicius is ten times
cooler then the word edelite, too. you won't have to change _that_ much,
just one word. consider it.
thank you for your time. i'm sure that you and rem will follow
through with this lyric change, for the better of mankind.
edicius.
+---- --- -- - ---+ i sold my soul to satan + by edicius +--- - -- --- ----+
"i've got a one-way ticket to hell on an amtrack train; and the sons
of gestapo won't be stopping me!@" -- edicius
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
"tom. wake up tom. come towards the light," the deep voice
beckons me in the nighttime.
startled, i jump out of bed. the big lcd clock stares me in the face,
"two in the morning? who the hell is this?" i turn around, and see a mist
in the room. a ghoulish figure is standing near my closest.
"hey, who the hell are you?", i ask.
"me? well, i'm satan. i have a proposition for you," he replies, "i
would like you to join me."
"join you? how?"
"sell your soul to me, i will grant you immortality in hell."
"really? that sounds good, how much?"
"WHAT? he's actually going for it? no one actually goes for it," he
mumbles to himself, "uwhm. lemme think, how much would it cost you to sell
your soul to me?"
"hm. lemme write down a figure, we'll play it from there." i grab a
piece of paper from the desk, and scribble down some numbers. i hand it to
the man, and by the smile on satan's face, i can tell its no dice.
"six million dollars? this is properous. what do you think we do in
hell? we don't have that much money. geezus, who do you think i am?"
"well, you're satan. ok, so no deal there, eh? lesse, here's another
figure. tell me how this looks." with that, i scribble another number down
on the paper, tear it off, and give it to him.
"eighty-two cents? you're gonna sell your soul to me for eighty-two
cents?"
"eh-yup. hey, everlasting immortality is something that only comes
along once in a lifetime, i'm not gonna be that stingy in trying to get it.
"eighty-two fuckin' cents. wow. tom, you have a deal. welcome to
hell."
"cool. okey, so, when do i get there?"
"well, lemme look here," he grabs a notebook from his jacket,
"salvidor, sinclare, stevens, ah, here it is, sullivan, tom sullivna. ok,
you should be arriving into the firey pits of hell in twelve years. from
lung cancer, you'll be smoking too much. haha. i just made a hell joke!
haha. get it? smoke, fire, hell! haha."
"wow," i say to him, "not only are you the demon of demons, but you
have a sense of humor too. pretty nifty, if you ask me."
"well, you know, i try to be modest, but when you're the supreme ruler
of evil, you have to have some funny side in you."
"hah. i hear you buddy, i hear you. ok, so tell me, when's the
presidental elections down there?"
"what? presidental elections? what the hell is this rubbish? i'm
the dictator, there is no president down in hell. i'm the leader."
"eech. that must suck. hey, here's an idea. when i get down there,
give me four years to run it, i promise you a bigger population, and more
money coming into the budget. hell will be the hep place to be."
"really? a four year vacation? i never really thought about.. wait a
second, what the hell are you saying to me, the ruler of evil? i'm the
leader down there, you cannot take that away from me."
"thats the problem, you're uptight. you have this whole
god-complex.."
"god complex? sorry to interupt, but there is no god in hell."
"uhm, sure, whatever. anyway; you have this whole ego thing. you're
uptight. you need some time off. no offense or anything, but people don't
think too highly of you."
"really? i never knew that," satan says. his face grows deeper, and
looks to be saddened by this news. "i've always tried to keep my image
pretty good. i don't really know how this whole horns and red skin thing
came about, i'm not really that horrid looking, am i?"
"no you're not, satan. we could have this whole big never-world going
down in hell, trust me. you and me, we'll do good."
"really? hey, that could be good. wait a fucking second, you're sly
there tom. but i'm not buying into this. i'll come back at a later time."
"but satan, wait!" but it was too late, he had already left. back to
sleep i went, still amazed about the transaction that took place.
+-- - --+
the next few days were spent thining up ideas for the "new hell", that
i would create. since satan is the root of all evil, i really knew i had to
do a good job, or something horrid would be in store for me. i really
didn't want to find out exactly what would happen.
i had ideas, visions of the new hell. something beautiful, something
that has been never seen before. swimming pools, casinos, hotels, family
entertainment. it all would be there. hell would surely become the hip
place to be.
it happened again. right in the middle of my wet dream, satan
appeared to me. his vast, expressionless face staring at me in the middle
of the night.
"tom, what do you wish of me? i can sense your mood, i know you need
to speak to me."
"ok. i have these ideas, take a look at them. remember, its
still a rough draft, but take the things into consideration," i said, as i
took out a large portfolio of various plans, blueprints, and charts. "look
at them, tell me what needs to be changed, and i'll work on it."
"what?? what is this crud? blueprints, charts.. hey, is there really
going to be a eight-teen hole golf course next to the tropworld casino?
hey, that could be pretty nice. i've been looking for a place to work on my
backswing."
"but thats not all. i was planning on changing a few more things.
first off, we need to have a stable currency. we're not looking to compete
with the us dollar, or the japanese yen, just something that we can use. we
will be having a large population now, ya'know what i mean?"
"true, very true."
"but wait, thats not all. we'll have a full run of commenrative
stamps -- all the people in hell, joseph stallin, adolf hitler, jimmy buffet
-- a better postal system too, a recent survey showed that alot of the
population of hell was dissatisfied with the way the postal service was.."
"dissatisfied my ass. give me names, i'll make their eternal
damnation even worse."
"no! thats another thing we need to change; your attitude. many
people, well, you know. they're kinda scared of you."
"they're supposed to fear me (not that pesky mogel guy.) i am the
death bearer, i'm not a real people person. i am eviler then evil. i'm not
supposed to be nice."
"well, it looks like your attitude will be hard to change. i'll work
on that more later. i called all-state today, inquiring about an insurance
policy.."
"insurance? why do we need insurance?"
"with people coming, we need some type of tourist spot insurance
coverage, so when people get hurt, we don't get sued."
"fuck them. cast them into the firery pits if they get hurt."
"thats the thing that is hampering the whole insurance dealy-deal; the
fire. you know, hell is just one _huge_ firepit. did you ever notice it?
all-state said they can't insure a bad fire risk as ourselves. so, i told
them i'd start a few voulenter fire departments, have fire safety classes at
the ymca, and mcgruff and smokey the bear put on a really bitchin'
performance for the kids."
"fire department? ymca? smokey the bear? enough of this bullshit,
tom. i do not want to hear this crud any much longer. you are banished
from hell!@ do not come down here! get out of my sight!@"
"but satan.. what about me being president?"
"get out of my sight you creaton!"
"can i have my soul back?"
"oh. that thing. yes, you can have it back.. here.. and my money?"
"oh. that. i kinda spent it on gum. want a stick of big red?"
"no! just take your soul, thats all i want. i don't need money. i
am the leader of hell!@ i make my own money."
"well. ok, in that case, i don't want to go to hell, you asshole."
"me? asshole? why you annoying little twirt," he says with a voice
full of anger. he runs, and lunged toward me. i duck, he hits the wall.
"pit pat spat. why you fucking asshole.." boom. he hits me square in the
jaw. so, i kick him.
"don't fuck with me nigguh! i'll beat you; and i don't care if you
are the prince of darkness." i hit him again. he hits me. this escapade
continues for 5 minutes. we cease hitting each other while we catch our
breathe.
i stand up in the middle of the room. "is that all you can do?!
the big and almighty satan can't even kick a fifteen year-old's ass? what
are you? like, a ga-zillion years old? HIT ME RIGHT HERE," i pound on my
chest, "right here you fuckin' asshole. NOW!"
fists a-flyin', satan runs towards me screaming, "aaaahhh!@ you
little prick!"
just before he is about to catch me, i knee him in the groin. he
falls to the ground in agony. "oouh. muh. muh.. ouuch. oww. muh nuts.
oww. yoou.. f-fuck.. in.. oww. oouuch. oww, my crotch. my crotch. my
crotch is on fire."
"yeah, thats what i thought. hooo-pbbt," i spit on him. "some people
are just so fuckin' egotistical. you won't let someone else take over for
awhile, and look what you're doing now. on the ground, rolling around, in
wretched agony. you wuss."
"vengence will be mine. oh yes, it will be mine." puff. smoke, he
disappears. a dark drool spot is easily noticed against the grainy blue of
the carpet where he fell.
"a drool spot. just one big fucking drool spot is left."
+---- ----- - -------+ music, smhusic + by edicius +-------- - -- --- ----+
is it just me, or is there a major conspiracy to ruin all of the good
music in the world?
i think there is, if not, somethings tragically screwed up. now, one
of my favorite bands, currently, is civ. i got their 'debut' (if you want
to call it that) cd just after it came out, and a day after i saw them in
concert. i've loved it ever since, i think its a really rad cd.
i happen to have a 'zine cover with a picture of civ (the leader
singer of civ - coincidence?) on it. i was bored the other day, so i
started drawing it in my sketchbook. soon enough, i had a pretty good
picture out of it.
the next day, i was sitting in my art class. i was bored with the
project i was working on, so i whipped out the ole' sketchbook to finish the
picture. some kids asked me who it was, so i told them, "its the lead
singer of the band called 'civ'. ever hear of it?" out of the three or
four kids that i asked if they heard of civ, only one person said "yeah, i
think so, i think i've heard of them."
god damnit. no one listens to anything if its not played on a big
time radio station, or mtv. civ has been being played on mtv, rarely
outside of 120 minutes, thank god, but today, i'm clicking around the
channels, and i hear a familar tune on the grind. yup. it was "can't wait
one minute more" by civ. these preppy wanna-be skinhead dancers are slam
dancing, almost definally choreographed, too. you could see that they
planned how they would dance to this particular song.
afterwords, the music dies out, and idalis comes on; "hey, now wasn't
that groovey? thats right. that was civ with 'can't wait'. now, after the
commercials, we'll have a live performance from shaggy!@"
c'mon, shaggy and civ in the same sentence? sigh. it just saddens
me. why the hell can't mtv leave the good stuff on "120 minutes"? why must
they do this? they do this with every good band, and then they promote the
bad bands, like greenday and offspring. fuckin' assholes.
to create a format that appeals to all, they must play what 'everyone'
is listening to. or so they think. not everyone is listening to offspring
and green day. thats why radio stations like whtg 106.3 (eatontown, nj), do
good; they play what other stations _aren't_ playing. sure, they do play
some green day and offspring, but not to the extext that many other stations
play it.
you have a major cable channel, and a million radio stations; all with
the same format -- boring and "alternative". you get a few stations that
play what the "minority" wants to hear -- mainly indie rock and punk,
generally "unheard" music anywhere else. both stations do well, in their
own aspects; they just get a different listening audience.
+---- --- -- - -+ million man march? % by david letterman +-- - -- --- ----+
[.. from the david letterman show ..]
> from the home office in grand rapids, michigan ...
top ten signs you're not at the real million man march
10. everybody's singing john denver songs
9. keynote speaker: mark fuhrman
8. entire march consists of you and that urkel guy
7. you're surrounded by people dressed as their favorite "star trek"
characters
6. everywhere you look -- osmonds
5. you seem bumper stickers that say, "don't blame me, i voted for
pat buchanan"
4. it's held at the dmv and the "march" is moving very slowly
3 lots of handmade signs that say, "yanni!"
2. the marge schott t-shirt booth
1. grand marshall: kathie lee gifford
+---- --- -- - --+ computers go hollywood -+- by edicius +-- - -- --- ----+
in our history, many movie makers have tried to make a movie revolving
around computer crimes, some have been successful; others have not. the
classics, such as wargames and sneakers, will live forever in the hearts of
computer enthusists around the globe. other movies, such as johnny
mnemonic, can be written off and forgotten.
in jonas' ever expanding cultural emphasis, we would like to give you
now a review of the best, and worst, computer-related movies ever made.
there have been alot of computer-related movies made, specifically, the ones
we'll concern ourselves with are those that deal with some form of computer
hacking and/or phone phreaking.
now, without further ado, edicius reviews computer movies.
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
"three days of the condor" (1976?) - robert redford plays an fbi agent on
the run from his own superiors after his whole office is gun downed and
killed while he is at lunch. story-line is pretty good. redford plays a
really good part in the movie. surpurb co-stars, also.
as far as the computer-relatedness. they have _really_ big computers in the
office. redford 'boxes' his way into a hotel phone line, and uses a tape
recorder and dtmf decoder to figure out numbers a person is dialing. he
also picks a credit slip out of the garbage to figure out what a person's
name is, before he carjacks and kidnaps them. you cannot forget, either,
that at one point, kevin mitnick used the handle "condor" before he went
into hiding in the mid 80's.
really great movie all around. if you can find it at your local
blockbuster, i would definally suggest renting this movie.
rating: (out of four stars) ***1/2.
+-- - --+
"wargames" (1982) - matthew broderick, alley shedy, and a "whopper" of a
computer. (te-he. i made a funny.) this is the clasic computer hacker
movie. kid breaks into school computer, changes grades, wardials, finds
governmental computer, and plays a game of "thermonuclear global war." now
is that just rad, or is it rad?
personally, my favorite part of the movie, is when alley shedy's caracter
says to broderick's caracter, after he has been on the run from the
government, "is this about what you did to my grades?" har har.
you have hacking and phreaking in this movie. movies just don't get cooler
then this without having an nc-17 rating.
rating: (out of four stars) ****
+-- - --+
"sneakers" (1989/1990. one of them) - not a particulary bad movie.
hacking, phreaking, carding, trashing, and a blind guy that can type really
fast!@ hell, these guys are _paid_ to hack your computer, if you want them
too. they're the best, dE\x/D. they're eXpERtZ.
as i alluded to above, the only part in the movie that i was particularly
pissed off about, is the fact that the blind dude can type. ok. i can see
him typing -- they can have brail keyboards -- but how does he know what is
being done by the computer? it just didn't fit.
if you want a real good flick night, rent this and "wargames" the same
night. watch the clerk look at you funny.
rating: (out of four stars) ***
+-- - --+
"johnny nmemonic" (1995) - i really don't know where to begin with this
movie. i saw it with fellow cybergeeks, rattle and tut, and well, i think
rattle sums it up best by saying, "it was the best comedy i've seen in
awhile, but it was meant to be a drama."
let's just say, keanu reeves shouldn't have been casted for this part. if
it was another actor, the movie would have been better. keanu reeves just
cannot act for his life.
henry rollins got killed in the movie, that was a cool part. :)
rating: (out of four stars) *
+-- - --+
"the net" (1995) - you have to divide this one up into two different
sections; as far as pure entertainment goes, this movie was pretty damn
good. _any_ movie with sandra bullock in a bikini is good in my book. as
far as computers go, it was a bad movie. i did like some of the things that
they did with the computers, tho.
bullock is a pretty good actress. the movie, overall, was pretty decent.
storyline wise, it could have used some work, but still was good. accuracy
wise, it needed alot of work with the computers.
if you can catch this still in the theraters (find a cheap second-run movie
near you), definally go there and watch it. you shalln't be disappointed.
rating: (out of four stars) ***
+-- - --+
"hackers" (1995) - "boot up or shut up." as far as the accuracy goes, this
is one of the most accurate, if not the most accurate, 'hacker' movie in a
long time. it was still pretty far-fetched in some aspects, others it was
pretty good. some of the computers they had, of course, were too advanced,
even for our own age.
i've hung out with computer geeks in person, i don't think i've ever said
the word "ELITE" as much as they did in this movie. there is also a scene
in which some 'haqurs' are looking at a new computer, and they say, "whoa,
elite. she has a brand new laptop... 16 megabytes of ram.. a 28 point 8 bps
modem too!"
they did make up for it by having an actual red box (that still does work in
some areas), and by reading "the hackers manifesto" by 'the mentor'. i was
surprised to see them go that far.
with everything in, i think this movie will go down as being highly regarded
in the computer movie field as being one of the better movies of our time.
rating: (out of four stars) ***1/2.
+-- - --+
other stuff:
"disclosure" (1995) - ok, so this really isn't a true computer movie. the
job that michael douglas and demi moore work at, makes cd-roms and other
computer equipment. plus, the terminals that they use on all the computers
for email and stuff is really rad. i'd love to have that type of software
on my computer.
oh, seeing demi moore half-naked isn't bad, either.
rating: (out of four stars) ***1/2.
"masters of deception: the gang that ruled cyberspace" (1995) - it's a book.
not a fully accurate book, but it is an interesting read. i shelled out 20
bucks for it, i'm not sure if it was really worth it, but it is worth the
read if you can get it.
rating: (out of four stars) **
+-- - --+
i noticed something, something eerie. in "the net", they all drink a
martini-type drink called a "gibson". in "hackers", the name of the big
mainframe operating system, is "gibson". coincidence? maybe.
+---- --- -- - -------+ 3Di'Z CaPTuRe F1LE izZ eLiTE +------- - -- --- ----+
from: "matthew b. wood" <devtrix@netcom.com>
posted to: alt.fan.cult-dead-cow
subject: re: his eyes were bleeding
carrie@cascade.cascade.net (carrie) writes:
...
>then one day we're driving through the onion fields of walla walla,
>washington, on this road that stretches farther than intestines, past the
>paper mill, and we come across this accident in the road, except it's not
>roadkill it's like humans, and this guy is there, laying on the road, and
>his eyes are bleeding (just like his face and arms) and we look at each
>other, and we grin, and scoop him up into the car, and drive off, kind of
>like thelma and louise except we can't take credit (yet) for any of the
>pain.
wow. and i thought i was having fun when i got %15 off at foot locker
with one of those coke caps.
--
matthew b. wood mbwood@netcom.com
they can't play baseball, they don't wear sweaters
they're not good dancers, they don't play drums
+-- - --+
from: rotiserrie <rotiserrie@aol.com>
posted to: alt.sex.stories
subject: adult hot chats
help needed:
i am in the process of collecting materials relating to "hot chats" on
bbs's. this material is very important to a final research project i am
undertaking. i would appreciate hearing from any of you who have engaged
in adult "hot chats" on bbs's or on the internet. i especially am
interested in receiving through email transcripts of recorded hot chats
you may have had. complete confidentially of the source is guaranteed.
jason
+-- - --+
from: sekiried
subject: downtown julie brown
posted to 'people who shouldn't be famous' folder on america on-line.
i swear to god, if i ever see this woman walking down broadway, i will
kindly ask her to go back to her native england. let's see if they will
take her back, cuz here in america--we are suitably annoyed with her
transparent clinging to the show biz/post-mtv world with a sad vehemence.
get a real job julie!
+-- - --+
from: the-concourse-on-highthu
posted to: alt.fan.cult-dead-cow
subject: wed. oct. 11th is national coming out day come out! do it! life is
easier...
have courage! life is so much easier when you're out of the closet. i'm
coming out because i went to the l.a. gay & lesbian parade this past summer
and of the more than 700,000 people there i personally counted fewer than 80
in drag or leather or other outrageous get ups.
when i turned on the news that night it was like my personal count had made
the news. every single one of those 80 or so people. the broadcast made it
seem like a couple thousand people had shown up, and showing only those in
drag or leather made it seem like that's all that showed up, like that's all
there is to gays and lesbians. the other 700,000 to 800,000 of us who are
boring and average didn't make it onto the tv.
when you come out you give non-gay people and accurate picture and concept of
who and what gays and lesbians really are. since it's perfectly legal in 44
states to fire us from our jobs or evict us from our homes just for saying
we're gay or lesbian, coming out is a very difficult thing to do. i know
that, and i have experienced all the fear and anxiety you have. please,
please, please come out!!! life really is so much better now.
+-- - --+
from: tomviolent
subject: yanni
posted to the 'cybersex' folder on america on-line
..yanni is the best cyber-lover i've ever had....
+---- --- -- - ---------------+ news items +----------------- - -- --- ----+
here are a few news articles that i've found in the newspapers that i
thought were pretty interesting.
+-- - --+
concert-goer sues love
courtney love is being sued by a a man who says she beat him up during
a hole concert in palo alto, calif., last year. jonathan james hogan said
the widow of urt cobain lured him onstage, hinting of a dance, and instead
kicked him in the groin. love told police that he reached under he dress
and grabbed her crotch while she crowdsurfed above her fans. hogan, who
insists that he was out of grope range, says he suffered emotional stress at
being publicly humilated.
+-- - --+
aclu joins high school discord over 'oi' vs. 'oy'
newark -- three hasbrouck heights high school students who were
suspended from school for using a word some people interpreted as
anti-semitic were reinstated yesterday pending an appeal before the school
board, said david rocah, staff attorney for the american civil liberties
union of new jersey.
rocah said the suspensions where ilegal and that he was surprised the
school board was continuing to pursue them.
"there's no doubt in our minds that a violation of the students'
rights, under the federal and state constitution and state law, has
occured," rocah said.
the school should drop the suspensions, apologize tothe students and
clear their records, roccah said. if neccessary, the school should provide
the students with tutors to help them catch up in courses they missed since
they were suspended last week.
the three 16-year-old bous -- len longo, j.m. burr, and albert min --
were suspended from school for a week after performing as the band utter
confusion at a high school talent show last thursday night.
because the music they play is sometimes call "oi", the three band
members started yelling "oi!" to warm up the crowd.
some people in the audience complained that "oi" was a play on the
yiddish expression of grief, "oy vey," and was anti-semetic.
"oi" is a gritty subcurrent of punk rock born in british garages in
the late 1970's. a right-wing sub-cult of "oi" includes german skinhead
bands whose members sing about bashing black people, jews, turks and
leftists.
rocah said the suspensions where unjustified, especially since the
concert was not a school-sponsored event but was part of an after-school,
student-sponsored talent show.
"these kids should not have been suspended," said rocah, who is
representing one of the teen-agers, whom he declined to identify. "students
do not lose their free speech rights when they walk through the schoolhouse
door."
although the students insisted their song was not intended to be
anti-semetic, rocah said that was not the issue.
"speech by racists is just as protected as speech by nonracists," he
said.
if school officials did not respond to the teen-agers' concers, the
students and their families could take them to court, rocah said. there was
no indication that would be necessary.
"the issues here are clear. it's not a difficult case, and it can and
should be resolved amicably," rocah said.
schools superintendent howard herbert did not immediately return a
telephone message from the associated press yesterday.
the rabbi of the borough's only synagogue said the school overreacted
and that is actions could encourage an anti-semetic backlash.
"it is a tempest in a teapot. i think the punishment is definitely
inappropriate," rabbi fredric dworkin of temple beth elohim told the record
of hackensack. "people make too much of an ordinary item. the word has no
significanes," he said.
dworkin, who said he had received no complaints from temple members,
said a false alamr over racism could spark the real thing.
[oh the same topic; on "the week in rock" on mtv, for the week of
october 21-27, they had a story about the above situation, and actually had
the band on at the end of the show. 'utter confusion' played the <their?>
song "oi is not a crime", now being boosted to stardom by their peers for
appearing on mtv. :) they weren't all that bad, for a group of 16 year
olds.]
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
jonas e'zine issue 13
send all inquiries regarding jonas to edi@raven.cybercomm.net
jonas and klunk may be found at avalon, (908) 739/4274
special thanks to belial and terminal velocity for their unending support
"jonas -- it's more then a 'zine, its a lifestyle.."
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+