197 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
197 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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---------------------------- I Bleed for This? ------------------------------
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------11.26.94-----------------------------------------------------#026------
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Kiss my Black Ass
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Appreciated by Jason Farnon
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by
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Consolidated
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MC PhaT MuTha PhivE is iN da HoUse Y'ALL! DroPpiN JeWwlZ on yo MuLez!
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So Suck My DICK, Like WATSON and CRICK!
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I'm so def
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I get respect
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I do not signal
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When I make a left.
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I'm a phat rhymster
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Some call me spastic
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When I go to work
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I say "paper or plastic!"
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I've got da skills
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To stop oil spills
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I buy liquid form
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Coz I can't swallow pills.
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I'm an urban funkster
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Just call me Herman Munster
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I once got busy
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In a big phat dumpster.
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I whipped out my gat
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And shot me a cat
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Would you like some funky fresh
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Fries wit dat?
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I'm a lyrical clam
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Damn I'm the man
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I'm kickin' more flava
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Than a phat can o' spam.
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Words manifest
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I use Ultra Crest
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My mom knitted me a nice
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V-neck sweater vest.
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I'm hittin skinz
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I'm known in da biz
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I'm rippin' dem tags
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Offa mattresses.
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Smokin' dat herb at
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Case Western Reserve
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I'm puttin' suckas down
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Like a Bosnian Serb.
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I bought me a bag
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Damn it was schwag
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So I rolled it up
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In an oxy-pad.
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My rhyme's they be strong
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Like ding-a-ling-a-dong
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I put gin and juice
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In my six-foot bong.
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Sucka MCs
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I ain't no fool
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Now get on your knees
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And inspect my stool.
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Just call me chachee
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I ain't no nazi
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Brothaz smoke crack
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But I just play yahtzee.
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I'm a lyrical jew
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Like Winnie the Pooh
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I gots a disease
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So my balls they be blue.
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My rhymes they won't bore ya
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So light da menorah
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I'm kickin' mad flava
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Like Moses in da Torah.
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One, two
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In come da Jew
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My people talk in yiddish
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So g'zai g'zin to you!
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I'm da chosen MC
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I rhyme for a fee
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There's sure to be a doctor
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In my family tree.
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My people be weird
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My mom's got a beard
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When I step to you
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Your memory be cleared!
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Sucka MCs
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They be in terror
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When I clock they ass
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With a run-time error.
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I ride in a row-boat
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Just like a Haitian
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I'm a put "phat"
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In a constant declaration.
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I rhyme like a mime
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I'm always on time
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When I write my verse
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I use top-down design.
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I'm a wack MC
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My directory tree
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It ain't called C
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Coz I renamed it G.
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Get on your knees ho
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You better turn a trick
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My rhymes are double helix
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Like Watson and Crick
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I'm sittin' here rappin'
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Buddha's got it happenin'
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"Bang, bang, nigga"
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That's the sound o' one hand clappin'.
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I'm bustin' up mics
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I go on nature hikes
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Like Hester Prynn
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I sewed an A on my Nikes.
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I'm droppin's jems to yo mellon
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Self-improvement tapes I'm sellin'
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My mom jacked some fool
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So now she a fellon.
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I'm kickin' crazy verse
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I'm about to burst
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So listen up y'all
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And obey your thirst!
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I gots mo' flava
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Than a Buick Le Sabre
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Like Rober Frost
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I enjoy manual-labor.
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I'm out like a lout
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I stutter and shout
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I'm doin' bitches up
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With my twelve-inch trout.
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Sucka MCs
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Will put you in a slumber
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My rhymes are more def
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Than Avagadro's number.
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I'm gonna teach you a lesson
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With my Smith and Wesson
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I'm puttin niggaz down
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With a bowl o' fat-free dressing.
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There ain't no other
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Rapper who can stutter
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My rhymes are so slick:
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"I can't believe it's not butter."
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The derivative of my flava
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Is the integral of my rhyme
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X cubed plus a constant
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Is the slope of my nine.
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I gots da bomb
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Like Erich Fromm
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I cleaned da latreens
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Back in Viet-Nam.
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I dress like a pimp
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I walk with a limp
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I see the Browns for free in
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My low-rider blimp.
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==============================================================================
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IBFT: If we hate you, you don't deserve to know why.
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Information:
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bleed@unix.amherst.edu
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ftp.etext.org:/pub/Zines/IBFT The Eleventh Hour (617)696-3146
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==============================================================================
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