83 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
83 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
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---------------------------- I Bleed for This? ------------------------------
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------05.25.94-----------------------------------------------------#020------
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Neil Squires
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by Jason Farnon
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Things are progressing wonderfully as far as the master plan goes. I
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have had a miserable childhood, and will in no time be able to enter this
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shithole society's work force where I will drudge until I die. I will
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commute for two hours each way every fucking day, so I can do monotonous work
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and watch someone scream at me. My only enjoyment will be coming home and
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watching the people I despised in high school make it on TV sitcoms, and
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thinking about how happy I am not to be working in the evenings. Then I will
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die, and nobody will care, except the insurance companies of course.
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But to get this pointless job (remember it is a privilege to be a slave
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in this country) I have to be able to wave a piece of paper in front of my
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future employers. It doesn't matter if I shot up dope for four years, the
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diploma from college is all that matters.
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Raping a college is so easy. Because nobody there wants to learn. Its
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all in the fucking name. Where you graduate it from. Any moron can get by,
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it isn't too difficult to sign up for underwater basket weaving and advanced
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physical education.
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So now its time to shell out twenty thousand dollars so I can do nothing
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for four years. This is what i've been looking forward to for years. I
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placed myself on every possible college mailing list, and kindled my
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fireplace as more and more college propaganda came in that would burn in the
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ashes. Plus its always nice to know you are destroying trees. One letter
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caught my attention and I would like to share it with you. This shows the
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kind of stupidity that actually gets into college.
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The letter was written by someone who was throwing a football while at
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the same time having an epileptic seizure; that's the only conclusion I can
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come to at least. The letter is from:
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Neil Squires
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Box 4127
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UNCG Station
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Greensobro, NC 27413
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I guess the college wanted to get the personal touch in by having the
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current students mail prospective students, but they sure fucked up here. It
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is on "The University of North Carolina: Greensboro" stationary. The letter
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follows. I'll try to keep all the misspellings and misplaced punctuation
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intact. A lot of the words were crossed out and changed because they were so
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badly maimed, so you don't get the full extent of the stupidity.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Dear Jason,
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My name is Neil and I am a Student at The Residential College. What can I
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Tell you about This place. The Rooms are big, The people newt During a
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lecture its hard to find a seat. We sit at The picnic Table all day And are
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noisey when we play. yes, I know That I can'T spell. But, come to RC and
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you will Feel well. If This is too vauge Come visit and see for your self.
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- Neil Squires
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Christ. That's nice Neil, tell the good doctor what else you saw. This
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is so fucking sad. I bet you they place him in the special room and have him
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hand make wallets, like my grandfather does.
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The admissions committee at RC sure hit it big with me. I'd actually
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like to go, if there are more people like our buddy Neil. It would be quite
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enjoyable actually, laughing at them all. Remember this is the future of our
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country. Laugh boys and girls, because if you do not laugh, you are going to
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have to cry.
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==============================================================================
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IBFT: We Break Your Wooden Leg
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Information, mailing list:
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bleed-request@unix.amherst.edu
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ftp.etext.org:/pub/Zines/IBFT The Eleventh Hour (617)696-3146
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==============================================================================
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