103 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
103 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
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$$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1102
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[-- $$""b. $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ss$$ "Recollection"
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ by Phairgirl
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ 06/28/00
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[-- $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
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$$ $$ "TssT" "TssT"
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It's been a year and a half.
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Year and a half,
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(long long time).
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Don't remember much,
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but that's the way years and a halves go... not that everything is so
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different, although it is
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not the same
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although I don't recall caring one way or another. Caring? Care?
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So that's what they do, over there, when I'm not watching.
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Yes, I care. I'm such a liar. A good liar
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(or maybe just a drunk, I don't fucking know anymore)
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who continually defies her nature for the sake of others. Why? I
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don't know. How in the hell did I get so friendly? Why haven't I murdered
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anyone yet? Maybe I did, I think I murdered Jeff. I think that was just a
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dream, though. Someone else murdered Daisy. So sad to see her go.
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Cuz I fucking kill and maim and destroy.
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Well, not really, I just say that to get chicks.
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Wind it all up and cut it loose, 'cause I know it's what you've all
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paid to see.
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Napoleon doesn't pay.
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And all this random shit won't leave me alone, it haunts me, all this
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evil badness masquerading as beauty in my head that reminds me of who I am
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and who I pretend to be,
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and why I need to change,
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because carrying on like this might scar me
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even more than I already am
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for life.
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And fuck everyone else out there, I'm a fucking bitch, I hate it when
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you eat like a pig, you stupid fucker, I hate the way you talk and I hate
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your stories about all the dogs you used to have when you grew up, and I'm
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tired of catering to your idiocy just so I don't
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LOOK BAD
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because I already do.
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And even after all this time, and all this change, I can't stand to
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look at my name. It's not me. I'm someone else now,
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a year and a half has changed me,
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and no matter what you might read, you don't know who I am.
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I like it like that,
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YEEEEEEEEAH BABAYYYY!
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And one of these days you'll figure that out, that I'm not all about
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my breasts or my conquests or my past
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(or even any of this),
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although you do have to admit it really wasn't anything anyway.
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If seasons change, why can't mine?
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WHY
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CAN'T
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MINE
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YOU TOOK THAT AWAY FROM ME
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Change.
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I have to change.
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I CAN'T FUCKING CHANGE.
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I tried.
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[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1102, BY PHAIRGIRL - 6/28/00 ]
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