74 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
74 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
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$$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1030
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[-- $$""b. $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ss$$ "Me And My Monkey"
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ by Me...
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ 02/27/00
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[-- $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
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$$ $$ "TssT" "TssT"
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My finger traced an invisible spiral in the air--over and over--
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first in one direction, then the other. Anita told me that you acquired
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power this way--power to fly--it wasn't something you found in a book.
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Anita was my advisor in these affairs. She knew lots of weird crap. She
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was very special. And after five minutes tracing the same imaginary
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spiral over and over, it occurred to me that we used to BURN special people.
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Anita said that Power was serious business. Pointless tasks were
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to test your sincerity. I asked her how much tracing it took to prove
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myself sincere, worthy of the secrets of flying. She said about three
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days. This wasn't going to be easy. Evidently, Power was something you
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earned. But I did have an edge--experience.
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Repetitive, mindless activity was more than just an old familiar
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tune, it was my life. I was bored shitless. I wanted thrills and kicks,
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but I was marooned in a dull, predictable world with a hungry monkey on
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my back screaming, "Get WEIRD! Do something STRANGE!" That's why I
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wanted to fly. At least, I hoped I wanted too--three days sounded like
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purgatory.
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Fifteen grueling minutes passed. Suddenly, it happened--I got
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weird. REALLY weird. I watched in frozen terror while a hideous,
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drooling monster burst into the room and hacked off my limbs with an
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engraved set of Ginsu knives. My flesh was stripped away, finely sliced,
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and mixed into a boiling cauldron of me-gumbo. My bones were tossed out
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back in Biro's food bowl (Biro was my dog, a Lab/Tongue mix that came
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with the place). Soon, I found myself buried in a hole he dug next
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door--in the Cat Lady's yard. I looked like hell, and I'd lost my damn
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lighter again.
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I was floating in a black, warm goop. Strange voices cried out.
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Demons who promised fabulous wealth wanted me to invest in East European
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Emerging Market Funds. But I refused to listen (I only read the booklet
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to qualify for the free telephone). At last I saw the flying spirits. I
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learned the big secret of flying wasn't how you flapped your arms, the
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trick was all in the shoulder movement. I learned many things. I almost
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quit smoking. . . . . . . . . . .
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The ancient ones vanished from the sound of shoveling earth. It
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was Anita.
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"Where the hell have you been? I've been digging all over for you?"
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We spent a quiet afternoon together. Neither of us talked. I'd
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changed and she knew what it meant.
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The monkey on my back awoke. It was screaming, "Thrill me! Thrill
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me!" Time to feed the monkey.
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"I don't know how I ever put up with you," she said.
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I never figured that one out myself.
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"Watch out for jets up there, okay? And think about me. Will you
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do that? Will you look down and think about me?"
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"Always."
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And I flew. I soared and swooped. I banked and turned somersaults.
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I chased gulls and stole wet laundry hanging in the breeze. I terrorized
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an outdoor wedding and put cats in tall trees. I even tangled kites in
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power lines and snatched hats from old people. I was being a shit. It
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was the greatest time of my life. I floated high on the wind and looked
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down on a helpless city below, wondering what misery I could spread next.
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Then I saw a tiny, familiar house. And I remembered. I missed
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things. Little things. Silly things. I flew home.
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She'd gone. A note on the refrigerator said: FEED THE DOG! I fed
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him. Later, I took Biro for a walk on the beach. While he played in the
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water, I squished wet sand between my toes. I climbed on a big rock near
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the shore and tossed pennies into the ocean. When you tossed one, you
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were supposed to make a wish. Sometimes they come true and sometimes they
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don't--that's just the way it is with wishes. But I didn't care. I had
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a pocket full of pennies. I wondered what I should wish...?
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I wished her well.
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[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1030, BY ME... - 02/27/00 ]
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