textfiles/magazines/HOE/hoe-0997.txt

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 $$$                        by -> Meenk E. Boodle                      $$$
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 $$$        [ HOE E-Zine #997 -- 12/25/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$$
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		Do not proffer sympathy to the mentally ill; it is a
        	bottomless pit. Tell them firmly, "I am not paid to
		listen to this drivel -- you are a terminal fool!"
		Otherwise, they make you as crazy as they are.
	
                    - William S. Burroughs, "Words of Advice for Young People"

	As much as I abhor whining, I would like to be set straight on one
 singular point. Why do I have to put up with you people? Of course,
 gentle reader, I don't mean you personally, unless you happen to fall
 into the category of people I intend to outline below. I am not going for
 insult here, so much as an objective characterization of what I see the
 majority as. Let me state in advance, for the record, I am not claiming
 superiority over the rest of you, as I may be just as wrong in my
 judgments and choices as anyone else. This is not a disclaimer. I simply
 want to ascertain that we are seeing eye to eye, or keyboard to terminal,
 as the case may be. You all tend to misunderstand unless something is
 illustrated for you, colour coded, and neatly labeled in plain block
 letters. Even then, confusion and frustration is often the outcome of
 anything that does not directly stimulate a pleasure center in the brain.
 To be sure this essay remains crystal clear, I will even denote sarcasm
 by _emphasizing_ key words, just to be sure your mediocre little minds
 pick up on it.

	In this decade of self, I find myself being bombarded with other
 people's problems. I am not referring to the issues caused by myself, as
 I take responsibility for my actions when I am aware of my fuck up. The
 problems in question have nothing to do with me. It is selfish of me to
 put it that way, but I am merely taking advantage of the current trend of
 being deeply self absorbed. So why am I being so harsh on the rest of the
 poor souls that are as self absorbed as I?

	Honesty. I have no qualms about coming out and saying that
 everything I do is for my own pleasure, or to ensure there will be more
 pleasure to be had. I am sure some of you that read this will think I am
 a hypocritical bitch for putting other people down for something I,
 myself, am guilty of. If you happen to be one of these people, you are
 wrong. I am not putting anyone down for being into self, but for trying
 to appear virtuous in their pompous behaviour. That is a true hypocrite.  
 These people are on television, in newspapers, online, and in my
 neighbourhood wailing about drama resulting from choices they made,
 waiting for me to dub them a victim. In the past, when I would try to be
 empathetic, I would often be forced into the dilemma of coming across as
 insincere, which I am NOT, or having to shoulder some of the
 responsibility of fixing the situation at hand. Thank the powers that be,
 television is one-sided.

	I blame the bible as one of the primary sources of these people's
 confusion, and my frustration. If the people that wrote that damn book
 had to make most of the world's population feel guilty for everything
 good, the least the could have done was set the day of reckoning for a
 date that I wouldn't be around. Again, I am being self absorbed. I didn't
 bite the damn apple. I don't even like apples. I just want the god I
 don't believe in to make His damn zealots leave me alone. I am a good (if
 not moral) person and I really don't deserve to be cast into a state of
 mental distress because a bunch of people are frantic about the end of
 the world. In particular, I am concerned about anyone whom I have never
 harmed deciding to make me the target of their self-righteous need to "do
 God's will". I can guarantee I will not harm you in doing my will, so
 keep me out of any plans you may have in yours, or anyone else's. If you
 were meant to end, or in anyway control my life, YOU would be the one
 writing this file right now. I don't need to atone for everyone else's
 sins, and I will not be a martyr for anything, particularly something I
 do not endorse. If you feel the need to give pennance for being a jerk in
 the past, please convert someone who wants it, or kill the only person
 you can legally kill and get away with: you.

	The second primary factor in the pre-millenial frenzy is the "Y2K
 Bug".  Again, something created in the past, affecting my life
 unnecessarily. The bug, being an unprecedented consequence of some geek's
 laziness, is, like the possible ensuing armageddon, something beyond my
 control. I cannot fix a broken bank account, power outage, or a 50
 million minute, Y2K-altered phone bill. If ruffians are in the street
 taking advantage of the electronically weakened society, please bear in
 mind that I don't know how to use a gun, don't have a gun, and probably
 wouldn't let you in my house should you seek my protection. I am a firm
 believer in every man for himself, and now in this liberated day and age,
 every woman for herself. Just don't forget your dependents. All I can
 offer is a hug and maybe some soda. If you only come away with one thing
 from this, let it be the following: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, STOP WHINING. If
 everyone followed that bit of advice, the world would function far more
 smoothly, and we would all be saner to boot.

	Third, and somewhat minor, though of increasing importance as the
 sands of this year sift through the hourglass, is the holiday itself. New
 Year's Eve and Day are the celebration of out with the old and in with
 the new. For some reason, January 1st, 2000 is a big deal aside from the
 previously listed reasons. Is it because a year with three consecutive
 zeroes only happens once every thousand years? What about 1999? three
 consecutive nines only happens once every thousand years, at least until
 the year 9990. Is it because it is the start of something new? A clean
 slate? When the clock rolls around to the 21st century, things won't
 magically change. I sincerely doubt any resolutions anyone makes this
 year will be held more sacred than those made last year, simply because
 it is for the year 2000. I don't make resolutions. Why should I wait for
 a particular date to make a commitment to bettering myself? How the hell
 do people manage to fuck up a promise they make TO THEMSELVES, FOR
 THEMSELVES, ONCE IN A GODDAMN YEAR? I am implying that people make the
 same resolution many years in a row because from what I have seen, people
 fail miserably before the end of January, and somehow think the next year
 they will be more capable of becoming less fat/mean/ugly/stupid.

	I understand that few people these days have the coping or social
 skills to be a successful, functioning member of society, and that it
 isn't their fault. I come from the same broken civilization. I have just
 come to terms with the fact that I couldn't manage, and fixed it. Being
 feeble and inept are signs of mental illness. Seek professional help,
 retard. Thank you.

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!              HOE #997, BY MEENK - 12/25/99 ]