176 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
176 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
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$$$$
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$$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg.
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ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg
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""""""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """""""""""
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$$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$
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$$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$
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""" """""" """
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ggg "A Day in the Life of LeetNLow" ggg
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$$$ by -> Meeyoww $$$
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$$$ $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #974 -- 12/18/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
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`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
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"Tap. Tap tap. TaptaptaptappptaptapTap-pa-tap-pa-TAPtaptap.--
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--taPataPAtaptaptappatapataptap"
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"Could you please stop that? I'm trying to write something here."
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"So? What does my tapping have to do with your ability to write?"
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"Well", (sigh) "I'm trying to concentrate. Do you mind?!?"
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"Hmph. You're just lame. Can't you just /ignore me?"
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"Haahhaha. You geek. You know you've spent too much time on IRC
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when..."
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"When what? You should talk. At least I don't waste my
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time..nevermind."
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"Nevermind what? Tell me. Or are you afraid I'll kick your ass
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if you say what you're thinking. C'mon. Say it."
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"No."
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"SAY it."
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"No."
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"Damn it. C'mon, I dare you. Say IT!"
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"Fine. It."
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"You are SO dead. I'mma put my foot up yo' ass. I knew you didn't
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have anything to say in the first place. Beiotch."
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"Whatever."
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"Don't you 'whatever' me. I've killed people for less."
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"Yeah, whatever. With what, your breath? Hahaaa."
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"Bitch. It only stinks when I kiss you."
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"That's because I kissed you first, assface!"
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"Yeah? Well you're the one dating an assface. That's part of the
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package, babe."
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"Package? What package? Your "package" was returned to sender,
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Tiny Tim."
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"Tiny Tim? Shugga, please. You know damn well that I've got it
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goin' oooon"
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"Whatever."
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"Whatever."
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"That's no way to start this thing off," Jerry thought. "Man, I
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need an original idea. Something that I can really capitalize on.
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Something that will show them that I am a WRITER! A serious writer. A
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writer to be taken seriously. I will show them all that I, Jerry, am no
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longer content to hang out around the fringes of this scene. I shall no
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longer be the stereotypical outsider looking in. Whatever it takes, man,
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I'm gonna fit in. I need to fit in. They need me like I need them.
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Yeah. My wit, my charm, my sarcastic outlook on life, my finesse with
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the ladies; they NEED me, and I'll make them WANT me so bad they can
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taste it. I can slack my way inside that circle and use my skillz to make
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them my bitches. I want to be known, far and wide, near and far, forever
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and eternally as 'LeetNLow': writersexgodextraordinaire. Yeah, baby,
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grrrr! Hahaa."
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/join #ezines
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<LeetNLow> 'sup HOEs
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<tashy> my generation needs a name
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<LeetNLow> how 'bout generation sex?
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<tashy> that's dumb
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<LeetNLow> hahah. be my bitch, phairgirl.
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<LeetNLow> i write t-filez, therefore i am.
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<oregano2k> i see.
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<meeyoww> i want that fuzzy stuffed animal thing from the levi's
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sta-prest commercials. he's neat-o.
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-> *phairgirl* your silence makes me think that you are not interested in
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being ma' bitch.
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<oregano2k> i'm sure that you'll be able to get it soon, meeyoww. i'd
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bet they'll be in stores soon.
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<meeyoww> damn it, oregano. i only want it because i can't have it!*#@
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<LeetNLow> i can be your fuzzy animal, meeyowowow, and i can stuff you
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real good, too.
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<meeyoww> hahah. die.
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-> *tashy* tashy sounds foreign >:>~ are you a hot, exotic russian babe?
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'cause if you are, i can keep you warm on those siberian
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nights. hehe.
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<LeetNLow> all yall hot bitchez need my 'leet lovin. haha. "you be havin'
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my baby, babaay"
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*** You were kicked from #ezines by swisspope (Behave)
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*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
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"Ah fuckin' deja-voodoo. Maannnnn, how'm I ever gonna get opz and
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propz if they keep banning me," mumbled Jerry.
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"I've got an idea. Heh, yeah. I know."
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-> *mogel* hey man, could'ja help a fellow literary bro out?
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*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
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*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
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*** #215 can't join channel (invite only)
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*** #leet can't join channel (invite only)
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"Maaaaaaaaann. This sucks, dude. Hmm. They know they want me.
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Hahah. I guess I could just finish the file that I started earlier and
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submit that to Mogel. Maybe he'll let me back in once I've shown him
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what a k-rad writer I am. I'm so leet, man, it hurts. Hehe. Let's get
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this writin' on, Brotha Jerr," he said to no one in particular. Jerry
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went out into the kitchen to get a cold Millie from the fridge, and sat
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back down in front of his smoke-stained ibm color monitor, taking care
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not to disturb the pile of fur otherwise known as Bob that was sleeping
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under his chair. Bob was more than just a cat to Jerry. Bob was a
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friend, a good listener, and a fellow player. The only difference really,
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was that Bob had the kind of bodily flexibility that Jerry could only
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dream of someday having.
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-> *mogel* c'mon man, lemme back in. "take a chance on me" ...ahhaha.
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come on, dooud. lemme in.
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*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
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*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
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"Gerald? Geeeeerald? It's dinner time, honey. Come downstairs
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and eat."
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"In a minute, Ma."
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"Goddamnit, Gerald, get your fat ass up from that chair and away
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from that blasted computer for dinner. Don't make me send your father up
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there."
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"I'm coming, Ma."
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-> *mogel* l8r, doud. i'll send my mad flava to ya tonite in my file.
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it's almost done. you'll post it, right?
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"NOW, Gerald. Your shepard's pie is getting cold!"
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"I'll be there in just a sec, dad."
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*** Disconnected
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"Daaaad? What the hell?!"
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"Watch that mouf, Boy. I've got no problem with rearranging that
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ugly ass face of yours. Now go on down and eat that nice supper that
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your momma done fix for you."
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"Yes sir. I'll be right down, sir."
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"I'll show them all," whispered Jerry under his breath. He pushed
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in the chair to his desk, making sure that the legs of the chair were now
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pressing tightly against Bob's curled body. "Meeoww?" "Shut up, fur
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ass," Jerry hissed as he turned off the lightswitch on the wall and went
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downstairs to pretend to enjoy his shephard's pie dinner.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #974, BY MEEYOWW - 12/18/99 ]
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