107 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
107 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #770
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Grade 8 Memory, in One Act"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/28/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Dramatis Personae
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Audrey - Grade 8 student Carmen - Grade 8 student
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Miss Lepage - Grade 8 art teacher Mr. Carter - Grade 8 science teacher
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Bus Driver - A school bus driver.
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The year is 1994. One teenaged girl, Audrey, in fair Montreal, where
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we lay our scene, is being forced into going on a field trip to the zoo.
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She doesn't like the people in her class, and wishes her friend Carmen, from
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another class, could accompany her to the zoo. The two girls, conniving as
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they are, convince the science teacher, Mr. Carter, with fake notes and
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desperate pleas, into allowing Carmen to join the class on the trip. The
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ride to the zoo is as smooth as butter, and except for getting caught
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smoking cigarettes by the boar cages, everything is well at the zoo. The
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bus ride home, however, doesn't unfold so pleasantly.
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[-----]
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Act 1, Scene 1
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Montreal. A school bus.
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Audrey and Carmen are forbidden to sit together. Audrey is sitting
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at the back of the bus with Mr. Carter, and Carmen is stuck sitting with the
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crazy art teacher, Miss Lepage, at the front of the bus. They quickly
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become restless.
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Carmen (to Audrey, yelling): HEY AUDREY, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
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Audrey (to Carmen, also yelling): NOT MUCH AT ALL, MAN. IT FUCKING SUCKS
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THAT THEY MADE US SIT APART, MAN.
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Carmen: I KNOW, MAN. WHO THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE, MAN?
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Audrey: FUCKIN' TEACHERS, MAN! TEACHERS CAN'T DO SHIT.
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Carmen: FUCKIN' A', MAN!
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Miss Lepage cuts in.
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Miss Lepage: You girls better be quiet or you're going to be in a lot of
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trouble.
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Carmen: YEAH, WE'D BETTER. OR ELSE THEY MIGHT TELL US TO BE QUIET AGAIN,
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SINCE THAT'S ALL THEY CAN DO, RIGHT, AUDREY?
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Audrey: YEAH! I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE THEY CAN KICK US OFF THE BUS! THAT'S
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ILLEGAL! MY PARENTS WOULD SUE.
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Miss Lepage (to Carmen): Honestly, Carmen, I'd expect more from a student
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as bright as you.
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Carmen: Could you hang on a second, Miss? I'm trying to hear Audrey.
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Audrey: SO CARMEN, LIKE, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
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CARMEN: LIKE, NOT MUCH, MAN!
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Mr. Carter interrupts.
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Mr. Carter: Audrey, you're making a fool out of you and I both.
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Audrey: How am I making a fool out of you, Sir?
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Mr. Carter: Well, Audrey-
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Audrey: Because I really don't see how you sitting next to me makes you a
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fool. Carmen and I are the only fools involved here. Sorry.
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(Carmen calls out.) WHAT WAS THAT, CARMEN?
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Carmen: I SAID IT'S A PRETTY WARM DAY FOR APRIL, DON'T YOU THINK?
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Audrey: YES! I NOTICED THAT EARLIER TODAY WHEN WE WERE AT THE ZOO.
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Mr. Carter: Okay, Audrey, I have to ask you to please sit down. You're not
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supposed to stand on school busses.
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Audrey: Hold up, I'll ask. (To Bus Driver) HEY! IT'S COOL IF I STAND,
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RIGHT?
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Bus Driver: Quoi?!
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Audrey (to Mr. Carter): See? He's cool with it.
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Carmen (to Audrey): FUCK MAN, I REALLY NEED A SMOKE. THIS RIDE IS TAKING
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FOREVER.
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Audrey: YEAH, ME TOO, MAN.
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Audrey and Carmen pull out their cigarette packs.
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Mr. Carter and Miss Lepage simultaneously grab the packs from Audrey
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and Carmen.
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Miss Lepage (yelling): YOU TWO ARE GOING TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT YOUR MOUTHS
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FOR THE REST OF THE RIDE OR THERE WILL BE SOME
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SERIOUS SANCTIONS.
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Carmen (to Miss Lepage): You took my smokes!! You took my fucking SMOKES!
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Audrey (to Carmen): THIS SUCKS BALLS, MAN!
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Carmen (to Audrey): I KNOW, MAN! FIRST THEY SEPERATE US, THEN THEY STEAL
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OUR SMOKES! WHAT THE FUCK!
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Mr. Carter (yelling): OKAY. YOU TWO GIRLS WILL SIT TOGETHER, BUT YOU WILL
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NOT CAUSE ANY MORE DISRUPTION ON THIS BUS. AND YOU
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WILL BE PUNISHED WHEN WE GET BACK. THE END.
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Carmen and Audrey are returned their cigarettes and sit together.
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Carmen (to Audrey): Fuckin' A!
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[Exeunt]
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #770 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 7/28/99 ]
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