78 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
78 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
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$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #165
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> "Can I be a Barber, Mom?" <<
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by -> Jook
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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so, like, i went to get my hair cut the yesterday. mmm hmm. my hair
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is like this to me: it's nice and all and i like it the way i want. my mom,
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though, oh muh mom.
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see, i'm home for christmas break and stuff. so, like, she says stuff
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to me like:
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"you want money for a haircut, hun?," on monday.
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and on tuesday she'll say "so, do you want me to call shorty's and
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set up an apointment for you?"
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and then on wednesday, she'll just leave the money on muh bed. so i
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finally give in, take the money, call the barber shop and set up an
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appointment.
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i would like everyone to know the world is a better place because of
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this haircut. i know look like a complete freak. no barber, in their right
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mind, would cut a set of hair like they did mine, and let you go. so chuck,
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the guy who cut muh hair, musn't have been in his right mind. see, he cut it
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real, real bad. see, it looks like one of those green helmets the original
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gijoe figures came with that snapped on and stuff. mmm hmm.
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i went to this place called _shorty's_. shorty has been dead for a
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good 10 years now. i've never met him -- only been going to shorty's for 9.
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i took a couple of years off, though. mainly because i don't get muh hair
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cut more than twice a year and also because i've been getting muh hair cut
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at this lame hair place that muh mom's friend owns. only problem is that she
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can't cut hair.
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_shorty's_ is like one of those old fashioned places. they got those
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old chairs that spin around and around and around and around and they got
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these comb displays and they got bubble gum dispensers.
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so they guy who cut muh hair was chuck. he's not so attractive. he
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also likes to talk about the green bay packers a lot. maybe murmur should go
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get his hair cut there. he better wear his green bay packers boxers, though,
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if you know what i mean.
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so i get there and he says, "how do you want it, owen?"
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and i say "i want it long in the front. in fact, don't even touch the
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front. and i want it really short in the back. and, uh, don't touch the
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sideburns."
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he gets his razor out. MRRRRRRRRRRRRR. there go 3/4's of muh
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sideburns. and like, to make a long story short, he cuts my hair so i look
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stupid.
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but muh point is, i want to be a barber, because no barber can cut
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hair. not a single one. if i was a barber, i would cut everyone's hair
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because i would be the only one who knew how to cut hair. and my hair
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cutting place would be called "THE ONLY PLACE THAT GIVES A GOOD HAIRCUT".
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moral: chuck isn't attractive, and murmur should wear his packers
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boxer shorts.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #165 -- written by Jook -- 12/18/97 *
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