textfiles/magazines/BLAH/blah-024.txt

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    File        <20><><EFBFBD>    <20>        <20><>   <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>        Written August 15th, 1992
    #024        <20>  <20>ig <20>ong  <20><><EFBFBD> <20>nd <20>   <20>airy
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                         Presents
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                "Conformity Is Like Cheese"
               <20>            by             <20>
                        The Baron
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Conformity Is Like Cheese

   Hello there, if you are reading this, which you are, so don't deny it,
you are probably another one of those people who believe in non
conformity. Well, let me tell you, no matter how hard you try, you are
going to conform. You see, conformity is like cheese. No one really goes
to the store to buy cheese and most people have no real craving for
cheese, but most of us like it. Those who don't like it still eat it with
things, such as cheese burgers, macaronia and cheese, and other fine dairy
products. Even if you never consume cheese you are destined to consume dairy
products. Every American is. You can however try your darndest to try
not to.

So, What's So Bad About Cheese?

   Let me tell you a little story:

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<EFBFBD>   Once there was a man by the name of Joe. Being hungry, he went out to     <20>
<EFBFBD> lunch one day at Bob's Grease Palace. Joe ordered a plain hamburger, but    <20>
<EFBFBD> when he sat down to eat it,he realized that everyone else was eating cheese <20>
<EFBFBD> burgers. Everyone there knew that cheese burgers were better than plain     <20>
<EFBFBD> hamburgers. They didn't quite know why, but they did, and they never        <20>
<EFBFBD> questioned why. They all began to wonder why he wasn't eating a cheese      <20>
<EFBFBD> burger.Joe became very self-conscious. He knew he wasn't going to see these <20>
<EFBFBD> people again and didn't have any reason to be like them, yet he still went  <20>
<EFBFBD> back to the counter and asked for a slice of cheese. He sat down and people <20>
<EFBFBD> went back to their normal routine. They weren't conscious of Joe anymore.   <20>
<EFBFBD> Joe wasn't self-conscious anymore.                                          <20>
<EFBFBD>    Inside, Joe knew he wanted a plain hamburger, but he didn't want to be   <20>
<EFBFBD> self-conscious. The next day Joe went out to lunch again. Once again,       <20>
<EFBFBD> people were eating cheese burgers. He knew he could go somewhere else       <20>
<EFBFBD> but that would require effort. Bob's Grease Palace was the only place       <20>
<EFBFBD> close. He ordered a cheese burger once again and ate it, but he was not     <20>
<EFBFBD> truly happy with what he had.                                               <20>
<EFBFBD>    Day after day, week after week, and year after year Joe ordered a        <20>
<EFBFBD> cheese burger. Eventually, he came to not question it himself and began to  <20>
<EFBFBD> actually be glad he was part of the group.He was never self-conscious again.<2E>
<EFBFBD> Everyday was a cheeseburger day, never a pizza, hot dog or nachos day.      <20>
<EFBFBD> Finally,one day his death came,sick of cheese burgers and never having tried<65>
<EFBFBD> anything else, and believing he was happy and never being self-conscious.   <20>
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Poor Joe

   As you can see, Joe never really was happy with himself, but he was
so afraid of other people wondering about him, staring at him, and
ridiculing him. It's no fault of his own though. It's human nature for
people to be cruel towards their fellow man. Joe, being human, did not
want to be ridiculed. It made him self-conscious. It made him have to
look at himself and wonder who he really was. He didn't now want that.
He wanted to be able to go along not having to think about what was
happening around him. He didn't want people to think about him. He
wanted to be what he thought was happy. Poor Joe.

What If We All Ate Cheese Burgers?

   The story of Joe happens on a small scale. There were maybe 20 or 30
others which we will call cheese-burger-eaters. It doesn't matter what
their names are. It doesn't matter if they have a name. All that's
needed is the fact that they're cheese-burger-eaters.
   Well, what if all of us were cheese-burger-eaters? We'd all think we
were happy because we wouldn't have to be self-conscious. We wouldn't
have to think for ourselves. All we'd have to do were make sure we ate
our cheese burgers.
   What if there was a group of people who WEREN'T cheese burger eaters?
What if these people would eat a DIFFERENT food everyday? They might
have pizza one day, spaghetti the next, and even lobster the next. We
could look at them and be interested and even jealous, but, we know we
have to eat our cheese burgers. We also know that our happiness depends
on the eating of our cheese burgers. If this group of people were to
spread their ideas among us we'd be plunged into chaos. We all might eat
a different thing each day and we'd have to THINK about what we ate. The
thinking wouldn't be done for us. We'd have to be self-conscious. This
group of people would pose quite a serious threat to our happiness and
we'd try everything within our power to eliminate the threat. It's human
nature.
   So now all of us are trying to eliminate this group of people who's
crime is nothing more than non-conformity. We might try anything from
trying to convert them to our way, to forcing them into our way, to even
killing them if neither of the latter was successful.

Do I Detect A Parallel?

   As I'm sure you must know, the period period of time before and
during World War II was the time of some of the greatest atrocities ever
concieved. I'm sure you know I'm talking about the reign of Hitler and
the Nazi party in Germany. During this time some of the greatest crimes
against humanity were commited.
   The success of Hitler's mad idea of conformity for all was unprecedented.
Ridicule and violence were carried out against others for the simple crime of
non-conforming. Anyone who was not the same, did not conform, was a target.
   Hitler was the crux of the idea which all good Aryan Germans were to
follow. No one ever questioned. No one was conscious of anyone else. No
one was self-conscious. There was no reason to be. Everyone was the same.
They all looked up to Hitler, and he did the thinking for them. You could
say he was the big cheese.

What's Wrong With Being Self-Conscious?

   Next time you're in public, do something out of the ordinary. Start
dancing if you feel like it. If you feel like signing a song, do. No one
can stop you. If you're lucky enough to live in the U.S. or any other
country where freedom of speech is protected, you may. If you don't, do
something about it! If you want to read a book with a lot of swears in
it, go for it. If you want to scream at the top of your lungs in
frustration, I won't stop you. People may look at you funny and make you
self-conscious, but, WHO CARES? You are your own person. If you aren't
SELF-conscious, how do you expect to be people/community/world
conscious? We live in a big world. If you can't look at yourself on the
inside, then you do not deserve to live in it.
   It's O.K. to be self-conscious. Do what you can so people
look/glance/stare at you. Use it as a technique of reminding yourself
that you are someone. You have to know that you exist and that you are
more than just another person sitting around eating his cheese burger. If
you are unique in some way, say you can whistle through your nose or
your middle name is Horatio, flaunt it, don't hide it. Do whatever you
can to make you, YOU. Don't be someone else. If you aren't yourself then
you are no one.

Remember:

   Don't be afraid of the unknown. Don't be afraid of what others think,
don't be afraid of what you think, don't be afraid of yourself. For
God's sake, THINK, and don't let others think for you. Your self-conscience
is much too important to give to others.

Thank you for your time,

The Baron

{---End Of File... Safe-T-Nutz v0.90<EFBFBD> says "8921 Bytes Total"---------------}

Finally.. a GOOD tfile.. _I_ should go to England for 3 weeks..

BLaH <sigh>ts
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Yay to the Baron for coming back to america and taking somewhat of an interest
in BLaH, a group spawned from his mind.. go team.

{---Shower Line... singing and embracing, embracing and singing...------------}