331 lines
8.4 KiB
Plaintext
331 lines
8.4 KiB
Plaintext
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BEGIN ---- cut here ---- ati173.jpg
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PSST!: I'm not letting any of you
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help me with this week's 'zine.
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It's called "Operation Team Player."
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Tax Day cometh on the New Moon.
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Are you fully braced??
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**************
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** Hootmon, **- - - - - - - - - - .
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************** 371 /
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/ (oops, reverse that) /
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/ /
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Activist Times, Inc. ATI is a - -
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journalistic, causistic, /
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/cyberpolitical /
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/organization, / 4 more info?
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/trying to / send SASE's &
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/help y'all, and us / e-stamps???
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change the world / to:
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radically, in less / ATI@etext.org
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than two minute /
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increments. /
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- - - - - - - - -
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Happy Spring Ahead, Happy Fertility,
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Happy Easter. And while you're at it
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you might as well set your clocks - on
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everything you got that counts - to 1971
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See? Voila. Instant y2k compat.
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Even your toaster!
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As if.
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Who bought a toaster with a timer?
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You, id-i-OT! Did, you, not, know,
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you can be kicked, out, of Dexter's
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La-boooor-atoory, for that?
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Now, I shall have to, disable your
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timer, so it will be y,2,k comPATible
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for I do NOT, think you will reMEMber
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1971 or 1972.
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Greedings, phellow shortsighted
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hu-person beings, it's Saturday, April
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3, 1999. In the year of our Arm-a-gettin.
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Live, from Madeline Albright's
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knickers-drawer in the Lincoln Bedroom
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it's ATI. hACTIVIST, TURVY & ILLIN'
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FROM THE PUBLISHER.
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helo
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welcome to ati issue 173.
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A pretty little one. Not many
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submissions. Hint, hint...
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Well? What else can I say?
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Have an ice day.
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-prime-
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U want #'s We got #'s.
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http://thebird.org/host/dcdave
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http://www.theofficenet.com/~redorman/welcome.html
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http://www.thepentagon.com/primeanarchist
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http://www.thepentagon.com/barataeletrica
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http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli/frucht.html
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http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/frucht.html
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http://nexgen.annihilated.com
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http://netropic.speakeasy.org
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-=[=-=(You are Reading, A T I.)=-=]=-
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----------------
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THE MORNING MAIL
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----------------
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to ati@etext.org
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Mind-it, your FREE personalized
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tracking service from NetMind,
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has detected new changes in:
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"Hee Yun's Little Home"
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Click here to view the changed page:
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http://mindit.netmind.com/go/1/15562693/3304475
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[by the way, was your paper
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wet this morning?]
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Some of you have asked for more
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information on the Vanishing
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Prayer video, so I am posting
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them for the benefit of all.
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Please post:
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Vanishing Prayer is a summary
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of Black Mesa events dating
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back to the 50's and more
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general Dineh historical
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information.
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Topics covered include:
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John Boyden
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Public law 93531
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Coal Slurry Line
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Uranium mining
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The bennett freeze
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The UN summit at Glenna Begay's
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Livestock impoundments generous
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amounts of cuts from "Broken Rainbow"
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A plea for help from Bonnie Whitesinger,
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Roberta Black goat etc. Burial Site
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desecration / Sacred site etc.
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The music is incredible (Fritz)
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and John Bennally is singing
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the "Big Mountain Song".
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-Mauro
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meyesol@eudoramail.com
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to ati@etext.org
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You People Suck.
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Nick-Toons (212)
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To The Editor of ATI:
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Why don't you do a special
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edition devoted to worms?
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-Robert (718)
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OK, how bout a pome?
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I get my strength from the Ocean;
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Don't care how much you pollute it.
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The sand itself is my hour-glass,
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No matter how much you dilute it.
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----<><><><>----
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Cryptic Warning For When
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Viruses (or is the correct
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plural "virii??" like the
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Melissa or Happy99 come
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whipping through.
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S/he who well remembers
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Edit and especially Edlin,
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[ok, Notepad will do THIS
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TIME...] is not lost.
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So brush up on your
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i's and e's, eh?
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Pronuncing Guide to Question Marks
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? = <eg.> Or is the correct plural virii?
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?? = Or is the correct PLURAL VIRII?
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??? = Or is the CORRECT PLURAL VIRII?
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?!? = OR IS THE CORRECT PLURAL VIRII?
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?!?!? = YOU F*?KING B*ST*RD WHAT'S THE
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CORRECT PLURAL FOR VIRII???
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=)? = I hope you have a nice day, didja?
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-=+=6=(You are Reading, A T I.)=9=+=-
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STOP! - -
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/ - \
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\ /
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/ \
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: US :
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: PS :
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: :
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: :
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Important Customer Information.
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Because of heightened security the
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following types of mail may not
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be placed in recepticle:
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1) Things that tick.
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2) Things that hum.
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3) Things in wooden boxes.
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4) Hallmark cards with "songs" inside.
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5) Anything to military FPO's.
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6) Anything bigger than a breadbasket.
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7) Sounds like beer.
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8) Rhymes with ROM.
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Bring these to an official
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USPS site Instead.
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CRACKER: I NAMED IT AFTER A WOMAN
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WHO WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH ME.
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---------
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by Nilda Perella
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Prime Anarchist World News
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---------
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Princeton, NEW SHIRT - One week after
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the stunning e-mail virus named
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"Melinda" began stomping out forest
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fires all over the world,
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authoritarians said Friday they had
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beaten up a man who created the 24
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hour bug in his bathroom and named
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it after a woman who refused to have
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sex with him.
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David S. Long, 6, was arrested
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Thursday night in a gentlemen's
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club restroom.
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"I was going to name the virus
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Erpes," said Long, "but it was too
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short. The most common charges
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against Long include Coy Interruptus,
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Conspiracy and Theft of Conspiracy,
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Phone Sex, Lamerism and Dweebishness.
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Long was released on $35 bond and
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told to sit in the corner for a time
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out.
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"He had a little willy," said
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Melinda S. Tripper, in an exclusive
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P.A.W.N. interview on top of a table
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in a dark smokey room. "That's all
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I'm going to say, and you can quote
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me," she said shaking her you know
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whats, obviously still effected from
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yesterday's happenstance. She went
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on to say she wouldn't date him if
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he were "the last Cracker on earth."
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"Besides," said Melinda, "he's
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got pimples. Ew. And he uses AOL;
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yuck!"
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-=+=-=(You are Reading, A T I.)=-=+=-
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PAWN - OWA - (obit w/ attitude)
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Memphis, TENN. Graceland was in chaos
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this morning when Elvis Presley was
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hit by a stray cruise missile.
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"I think Elvis was happy to die,"
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said Barry Rustler, chief executive
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officer of Money Worldwide, which
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represents the estates of dozens of
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the world's biggest celebrities.
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Born in 1869, according to
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Rustler, Elvis was 130 years old.
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-=-=-=-=-=-
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And hot off the financial pages
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of our robust website,
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DOW MATCHES WAITING LIST AT
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DC SOUP KITCHEN
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Georgetown, - "10,023 people will
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not eat today," said Yahoo A.
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Digital, a worker at the Olive Branch
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FoodNotBombs daily feed in Washington
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DC's smallest inner city, "unless
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more food comes in quick." He was
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heard repeating this to all eleven
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postal workers who will begin a
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cropwalk from DC to Bangor, Maine
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looking for them that caused their
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hunger.
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"Perhaps look at Bath Ironworks,"
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said Digital for the dozenth time,
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"or Raytheon, Newport News and the
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Oval Oriface.
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-=+_/[=(You `R Reading, A T I.)=]\_+=-
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By now you know, we almost always end
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the zine with a poem or a parody.
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This Parody-Poem is produced by the
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letter P.
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ADDICTED TO COFFEE - Retort : ROBERT PALMER
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The lights are on, but you're not home
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Your coffee pot, empty, alone
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Your heart sweats, your body shakes
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Another cup, is what it takes
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You're in deep, you ought to eat
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There's no doubt - you're half asleep
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Your throat is dry, you're like a seed
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Another cup is all you need
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Chorus:
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You like to think that
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you're imune to the stuff
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Oh yeah
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It's closer to the truth
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to say you can't get enough
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You know you're gonna have to face it
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You're addicted to coffee
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You see the signs - but you can't read
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You're running at a different speed
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your heart beats in double time
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another cup and you'll be fine
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A one-track mind; you can't be saved
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Oblivion is all you crave
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If there's some left over for you
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You don't mind if you do
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Might as well face it:
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you're addicted to coffee
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(repeated many times over
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the same scheme as the refrains)
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Solo:
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The lights are on, but you're not home
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Your coffee pot, empty, alone
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Your heart sweats your teeth grind
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Another cup and you'll be fine
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Chorus:
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Might as well face it
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you're addicted to love (8x)
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Today is /\
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Day /17\ of
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\ / pie2K
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\/ !!!
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send anything.
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ati@etext.org
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