69 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
69 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
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CAPRICORN (DEC22-JAN20) YOU ARE CONSSERVATIVE AND AFRAID OF TAKING RISKS.
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YOU ARE BASICALLY CHICKEN SHIT. THERE HAS NEVER
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BEEN A CAPRICORN OF ANY IMPORTANTANCE. YOU SHOULD
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KILL YOURSELF!
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AQUARIUS (JAN21-FEB18) YOU HAVE AN INVENTIVE MIND AND ARE INCLINED TO BE
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PROGRESSIVE. YOU LIE A GREAT DEAL. ON THE OTHER
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HAND, YOU ARE INCLINED TO BE CARELESS AND IMPRACTICAL
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CAUSING YOU TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES REPEATEDLY.
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EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE A FUCKING JERK.
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PISCES (FEB19-MAR20) YOU HAVE A VIVID IMAGINATION AND OFTEN THINK YOUR
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BEING FOLLOWED BY THE F.B.I. OR THE C.I.A. YOU
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HAVE A MINOR INFLUENCE OVER YOUR FRIENDS AND PEOPLE
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RESENT YOU FOR FLAUNTING YOUR POWER. YOU LACK CONFI-
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DENCE AND ARE GENERALLY A COWARD. PISCES PEOPLE SCREW
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SMALL ANIMALS AND PICK THEIR NOSES ALOT.
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ARIES (MAR21-APRIL19) YOU ARE THE PIONEER TYPE AND HOLD MOST PEOPLE IN
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CONTEMPT. YOU ARE QUICK TEMPERED, IMPATIENT, AND
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SCORNFUL OF ADVICE. YOU ARE A PRICK.
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TAURUS (APRIL20-MAY20) YOU ARE PRACTICAL AND PERSISTANT. YOU HAVE A DOGGED
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DETERMINATION AND WORK LIKE HELL. MOST PEOPLE THINK
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YOU ARE STUBBORN AND BULLHEADED. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT
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A DAMN COMMUNIST!
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GEMINI(MAY21-JUN20) YOU ARE A QUICK AND INTELLIGENT THINKER. PEOPLE LIKE
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YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE BISEXUAL. HOWEVER, YOU ARE INCLINED
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TO EXPECT TOO MUCH FOR TOO LITTLE. THIS MEANS YOU ARE
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A CHEAP BASTARD. GEMINIS ARE NOTED FOR THRIVING ON
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INCEST!
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CANCER (JAN21-JUL22) YOU ARE SYMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING TO OTHER PEOPLES
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PROBLEMS. THEY THINK YOU ARE A SUCKER. YOU ARE ALWAYS
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PUTTING THINGS OFF. THIS IS WHY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ON
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WELFARE AND NEVER BE WORTH A SHIT!
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LEO (JULY23-AUG22) YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A BORN LEADER. OTHERS THINK YOU
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ARE PUSHY. MOST LEOS ARE BULLYS. YOU ARE VAIN AND CAN
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NOT TOLERATE HONEST CRITICISM. YOUR ARROGANCE IS DISGUS
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TING. LEO PEOPLE ARE THEIVING BASTARDS AND KISS MIRRORS
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ALOT.
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VIRGO (AUG23-SEPT22) YOU ARE THE LOGICAL TYPE AND HATE DISORDER. THE NIT
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PICKING IS SICKENING TO YOUR FRIENDS. YOU ARE COLD
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AND UNEMOTIONAL AND OFTEN FALL ASLEEP WHILE SCREWING.
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VIRGOS MAKE GOOD BUS DRIVERS OF PIMPS.
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LIBRA (SEPT23-OCT22) YOU ARE THE ARTISTIC TYPE AND HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME
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WITH REALITY. IF YOU ARE A MALE, YOUR PROBABLY QUEER.
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CHANCES FOR EMPLOYMENT AND MONETARY GAIN ARE EXCELLENT
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MOST LIBRA WOMEN ARE WHORES. ALL LIBRAS DIE OF VENEREAL
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DISEASE.
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SCORPIO (OCT23-NOV21) YOU ARE SHREWD IN BUSINESS AND CANNOT BE TRUSTED. YOU
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SHALL ACHIEVE THE PINNACLE OF SUCESS BECAUSE OF YOUR
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TOTAL LACK OF ETHICS. YOU ARE A PERFECT SON-OF-A-BITCH
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MOST SCORPIOS ARE MURDERED!
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SAGITTARIUS (NOV22- YOU ARE OPTIMISTIC AND ENTHUSIASTIC. YOU HAVE A RECK
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DEC21) LESS TENDANCY TO RELY ON GOOD LOOKS SINCE YOU HAVE NO
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TALENT. THE MAJORITY OF SAGITTARIANS ARE DRUNKS OR
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POTHEAD. PEOPLE LAUGH AT YOU ALOT BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAY
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GETTING FUCKED!
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