102 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
102 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
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WEIRD NEWS VOLUME 2
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PASTORAL WEIRD
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- The Reverend Glen Summerford was convicted in February of
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attempted murder of his wife in Scottsboro, Alabama. A jury found
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that he had forced his wife to stick her hand into a cage of
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rattlesnakes (which he handles in his services at his Church of
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Jesus With Following Signs in addition to drinking strychnine and
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touching live electrical wires), saying that she had to die because
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he wanted to marry another woman. Much of the trial testimony
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concerned which of the spouses had sinned or "backslid" more.
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(While Summerford was in jail, his inadequately supervised
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parishioner, Clyde Crossfield, was bitten on both hands by a
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rattlesnake he was handling.)
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SUE `EM ALL!!
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- Scott D. Carpenter, 27, filed a lawsuit in September against
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the management company of Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh and
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its chief concessionaire because they allowed him to buy too many
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beers during a 1989 Steelers game and then failed to warn him about
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the danger of riding on escalator handrails, on which he was
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injured in a drunken fall.
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- In Tacoma, Washington, Christine Lauritzen filed a lawsuit
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against her husband, Bret, last year for negligence that subjected
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her to injury. Bret's error was in ignoring Christine's driving
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instructions: During a visit to Miami, Florida, they wound up in
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a bad section of town, where they were eventually robbed and where
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she suffered a severe arm injury.
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- A newspaper in Ireland reported in February that 38 Irish
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soccer fans recently won a lawsuit against two bus companies that
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had caused them to miss the 1990 World Cup games in Italy. They
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sued because the bus drivers drove too slowly (an average of 20
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mph) on two trips, causing them to miss one game and to miss a
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scheduled ferry that would have transported them to another game.
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- Takashi Nakayama, 25, filed a lawsuit in December in a court
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in Niigata, Japan, against his mother and grandmother, seeking
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about $1,548 in damages because his grandmother had thrown out his
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comic-book collection without his consent and his mother had failed
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to stop her.
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POLITICOS FROM HELL
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- Magoo Dorcy, 42, announced his candidacy for mayor of Dover,
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Delaware, despite having pleaded guilty in Columbus, Ohio, three
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years ago for molesting a 5 year old girl.
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- Harold W. "Tony" Glacken was charged last year with running
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a fraudulent auto-inspection scheme. Upon announcing his candidacy
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for sheriff in St Louis, Missouri, recently, Glacken said, "I just
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decided it was time I get involved and get this community
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straightened out. I'm tired of all the [county's] bad publicity."
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- In Salem, Oregon, former Baptist minister Joe Lutz withdrew
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from the U.S. Senate race in January, saying that his "family
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values" campaign had lost credibility because he had abandoned his
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wife to marry another woman and reportedly was $2,000 behind in
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child support payments.
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- Donald L. Traxler, newly installed mayor of Ada, Ohio, and
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education professor at Ohio Northern University, declared in
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December that he would take office later in the month, as
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scheduled, despite his December 13 arrest when rangers observed him
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masturbating at a local park.
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- Sherman T. Miller, running for sheriff in Van Buren County in
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southeastern Iowa, was jailed in March, suspected by authorities
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to be part of a burglary ring that had been stealing farm
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equipment. Said Miller, "It's just a bunch of political nonsense
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to take me out of the race."
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- Poin Adams, candidate for sheriff in Amarillo, Texas, was
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found guilty in 1990 of fraud for tampering with his vehicle
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inspection sticker. He had crudely drawn a "1" on his windshield,
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to obscure the "0" in 1990, so that his sticker would appear to be
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valid in 1991.
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OH RAMI, GET REAL JOB!!
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- On October 12, a clerk on duty at a convenience store in
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Abilene, Texas, was persuaded by a man to accept a $100 bill that
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was accurately printed (1950 series) in every detail -- except that
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it was 12 inches long and 5 inches wide.
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REAL WEIRD
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- Last fall, two men holed up in the Maine State Library in
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Augusta for two months in makeshift living quarters that a security
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official said included "everything you could think of," before they
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were discovered. Andre V. Jatho, 20, was charged with burglary,
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but the other man moved out. For sustenance, the two men had
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looted various state supply rooms (taking an unusually large
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quantity of pudding).
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