38 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
38 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
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HOW TO REPAIR ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT
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1. Approach the ailing instument in a confident manner. This will give the
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instrument the mistaken idea that you know something. It will also impress
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anyone who happens to be looking, and if the instrument should suddenly start
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working you will be credited with its repair. Should this fail, proceed to
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step 2.
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2. Wave the service manual at the instrument. This will make the instrument
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assume that you are at least familiar with the source of knowledge. Should
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this fail, proceed to step 3.
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3. In a forceful manner, recite Ohm's Law to the instrument. (Caution:
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BEFORE TAKING THIS STEP, REFER TO A HANDBOOK TO BE SURE OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF
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OHM'S LAW.) This will prove to the instrument that you do know something. This
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is a drastic step and should only be taken if the first two steps fail. If
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this step fails, proceed to step 4.
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4. Jar the instrument slightly. This may take anything from a three to six
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foot drop, preferably on a concrete floor. However, you must be careful with
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this step because, while jarring in the approved method of repair, you must not
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mar the floor. Again, this is a very drastic step. If it should fail, proceed
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to step 5.
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5. Brandish a large screwdriver in a menacing manner. This will frighten
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the instrument ans demonstrates the deadly "SHORT CIRCUIT" technique. If this
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step fails, proceed to step 6.
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6. Add a tube...even if the instrument is solid state. This will prove to
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the instrument that you are familiar with the design of the instrument. Also,
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this will increase your advantage and confuse the instrument. If this step
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fails, proceed to the most drastic and dangerous step of all, step 7. It is
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very seldom used and is the last resort if all else fails.
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7. Think...!? Last resort if all else fails.
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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