32 lines
1.1 KiB
Plaintext
32 lines
1.1 KiB
Plaintext
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Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
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1. Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a nuclear
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bomb; use the stairs.
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2. When you're flying through the air, remember to roll when you hit
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the ground.
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3. If you're on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials.
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4. Don't attempt communication with dead people; it will only lead to
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psychological problems.
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5. Food will be scarce; you will have to scavenge. Learn to recognize
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foods that will be available after the bomb: mashed potatoes,
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shredded wheat, tossed salad, ground beef, etc.
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6. Put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze; internal organs will
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be scarce in the post-nuclear age.
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7. Try to be neat; fall only in designated piles.
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8. Drive carefully in "Heavy Fallout" areas; people could be
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staggering illegally.
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9. Nutritionally, hundred dollar bills are equal to ones, but more
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sanitary due to limited circulation.
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10. Accumulate mannequins now; spare parts will be in short supply on
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D-Day.
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