68 lines
2.2 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
2.2 KiB
Plaintext
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@@@@@@@@ Misery Is @@@@@@@@@
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not having any money when the representative comes to your house selling
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Mafia cookies.
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laughing at your husband because he can't get into his old army uniform and
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the you can't get into your old maternity dress.
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going on your honeymoon and having the motel employees toss a "Welcome Back"
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party for your bride.
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wearing a topless bathing suit and having a man walk up to you and say "Nice
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day today, sir."
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a girl asking if she can come up to your place and you still live with your
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mother.
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sneaking in your house at four in the morning and finding your wife sneaking
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out.
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putting on your underarm deodorant and it turns out to be your dog's flea and
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tick spray.
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climbing your daughter's jungle gym and having to call the fire department
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to help you down.
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an undertaker trying to look sad at a $15,000 funeral.
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going on your honeymoon and seeing your bride kneel beside the bed and say,
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"Now I lay me down to sleep."
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going to a strip joint the same day you had your eyes dilated.
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a mother-in-law who tries to commit suicide but fails...and runs up a big gas
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bill.
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a sexy girl dropping her handkerchief and when you bend over to pick it up,
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your toupee falls off.
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chasing your secretary, then catching her and being too winded to do any-
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thing about it.
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learning the pitter patter of little feet around the house is because your
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wife is seeing a midget.
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going to work and discovering you're wearing your 7 yr. old son's jockey
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shorts.
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going up to the attic and reading your wife's love letters and seeing that
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they're all dated last week.
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showing off your new Cadillac and crashing into a Volkswagen driven by your
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IRS agent.
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having your wife hurt in a hunting accident because she looks so much like a
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moose.
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being invited to an American Legion stag film and finding out it's the story
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of Bambi's father.
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your beautiful blonde neighbor coming over to visit with a bottle of booze
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ten minutes after you've taken two sleeping pills.
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having your wife scream so loud that she wants to live in a more expensive
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apartment that your landlord comes up and raises the rent.
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