106 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
106 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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"Some of these are cynical and some are sexist. Apologies
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if you are offended. Enjoy the ones you find funny."
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MARRIAGE HUMOR
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Mostly from ``Another Almanac of Words at Play'', by Willard
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Espy.
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+ ``It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is
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sure to find out next morning it was someone else.'' --
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Rogers
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+ ``If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.'' --
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Chekhov
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+ ``The most happy marriage I can picture would be the
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union of a deaf man to a blind woman.'' -- Coleridge
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+ ``Were it not for imagination, sir, a man would be as
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happy in the arms of a chambermaid as a duchess.'' --
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Dr. Johnson
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+ ``If a man hears much that a woman says, she is not
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beautiful.'' -- Haskins
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+ ``A man does not look behind the door unless he has
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stood there himself.'' -- Du Bois
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+ ``A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of
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the house.'' -- Moliere
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+ ``Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a
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confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
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unpunished.'' -- Goethe
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+ ``In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.''
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-- Butler
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+ ``A woman may very well form a friendship with a man,
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but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little
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physical antipathy.'' -- Nietzsche
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+ ``Men who cherish for women the highest respect are
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seldom popular with them.'' -- author unknown
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+ ``Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
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from achieving them.'' -- Dumas
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+ ``Nature has given women so much power that the law has
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very wisely given them little.'' -- Dr. Johnson
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+ ``The great question... which I have not been able to
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answer... is, "What does a woman want?'' -- Freud
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+ ``Home life as we understand it is no more natural to
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us than a cage is to a cockatoo.'' -- Shaw
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+ ``Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside
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desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get
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out.'' -- Montaigne
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+ ``For a male and female to live continuously together
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is... biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural
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condition.'' -- Robert Briffault
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+ ``Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your
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life paying for it.'' -- Baskins
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+ A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own
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flowers.
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+ A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is
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finished.
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+ Marriage is a rest period between romances.
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+ Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
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+ Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno.
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+ Marriage is an institution -- but who wants to live in
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one?
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+ Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of
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person your spouse would have really preferred.
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+ Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
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intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope
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over experience.
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+ Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
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--
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Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP
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Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
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Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
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