132 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
132 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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Rules of the Universe
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Compiled by the Masters of the Universe
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1. Never give a damn about anyone except yourself and masters Steevie and
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Beeklie.
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2. Never eat powdered donuts in one of our cars.
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3. If you do, don't put the left overs under the tires.
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4. Snow days will be made up.
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5. Santa never forgets, neither does Kinko.
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6. Never be sorry.
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7. Papercuts are considered scars of sex.
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8. If you step on my foot, expect death
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9. Never volunteer
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10. Ignorance is bliss, like corn detassling.
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11. Twenty papers in a stack.
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12. Never lose your sense of humor.
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13. Grades can be bought
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14. Never say "I can't get it open"
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15. Rule #7 is a bitch.
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16. Food Processor is just a state of mind to a coleslaw baby.
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17. The public has no right to know the goings on of Congress or our club.
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18. Rul1 #7 and Rule #16 cause mega- agont for Beeklie.
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19. Two-gloves, no sequins shall be worn at all times.
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20. Be on the lookout for thugs.
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21. Groundhog day is a joyous occasion, keep it holy.
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22. Chickens and turkeys dont mate, so someone has to.
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23. Don't flinch
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24. Flourescent colors are a fluke of nature - so are punkers.
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25. Pen sharpeners are hard to come by.
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26. Speed limits must be observed
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27. Christmas trees without ornaments are pine trees.
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28. Pine trees with ornaments are Christmas trees.
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29. Never call a bluff.
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30. Never ride a handi-cap ramp on roller skates.
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31. Try espionage once in a lifetime.
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32. Organization is a goddamn must.
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33. People who need people are the most insecure people in the world.
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34. Snufalufagus is my co-pilot.
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35. Diet is a state of mind- so is snow
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36. Mexicans are brown Americans
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37. If its free take it, except bad sex and bad dieases, especially two
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letter ones.
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38. Patince is a fucking good virtue.
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39. You can't bang anything out in five minutes.
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40. If you can't fuck it or eat it, piss on it.
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41. "Real" cops don't direct traffic.
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42. Etheopia sucks, so does Peoria.
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43. If you can't go quad-forget it
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44. Never have a relationship with a qualm.
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45. A zipper is the most fascinating form of button.
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46. Never say a word you can't spell.
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47. Never get involved with a merry- go-round.
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48. Nevey do anything you haven't heard of, but if it is really necessary,
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go ahead.
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49. Never put glitter on any part of your body.
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50. Nothing can be 99% virgin.
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51. Stay at home, don't go outside.
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52. Mickey-Mouse is a transvestite.
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53. Homely people are hated.
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54. Pet dogs must be tied up at dusk.
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55. If you can't do it right, don't do it at all.
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56. Silence is golden, and the one with the most carats gets to be
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co-chairman.
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57. Freshmen shall be isolated.
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58. Remeber the Alamo.
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59. The purpose of blamk paper has yet to be found.
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60. Never hold you breath unless you are sure that you can't breath water.
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61. Horneyism is inherited--you get it from your boy-friend/ girl-friend.
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62. Teachers are devils spawn.
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