90 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
90 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
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*:=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=:*
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*:-- --:*
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*:-- How to Make Bugs Breakdance --:*
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*:-- By: The Daredevil --:*
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*:-- --:*
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*:-- The Police Station --:*
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*:-- 612-934-4880 --:*
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*:-- --:*
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*:-- Given to whoever now --:*
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*:-- has this by --:*
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*:-- -=> THE GREMLIN <=- --:*
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*:-- --:*
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*:-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=:*
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Hello, name's Daredevil. I am about to present you with step by
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step instructions on how to make insects and such to dance around like
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Michael Jackson. Havoc Chaos and I figured this out while over at
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Havoc's home. Bugs can breakdance, despite popular belief!
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The first thing you will need is a neat pair of tweezers. Their use
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will become obvious later in this SoftDoc. While tweezers work best,
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I also recommend scissors and (oops.) exacto-knives for those without
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shaky hands.
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The next thing you will need is a bug. Common houseflies are highly
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recommended. They are abundant, and nobody really misses them. Some people get
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angry if you use insects like spiders or crickets. (Don't ask me,
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darn those enviromentalists.)
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Flies can be found around window sills, fresh meat, or any
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beer-guzzling father. They are pretty much easy to trap, but the catch
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is that you'll need them alive. Fly swatters and newspapers should not
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be used to catch these little buggers. Horse flies also are not
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recommended, as they are supposed to bite. (Hey, i've never been
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bitten. If you have, send me E-Mail, okay? -DD) The common house
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fly works best.
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Now, capturing these pests alive is the thing. Get a glass or
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something, and trap it. Wait a while, and watch it fly feebly around
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the jar looking for a way out. If you're smarter than you look, it
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won't get out. It's real fun to shake the jar and stun the sucker.
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Take the fly from the jar with a 'kleenex' or something of the like,
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and hold it so it's pitiful wings are accessable to you. Now, with the
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tweezers I mentioned above, pull his wings off.
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(AUTHORS NOTE: Some lesser minds have accually called me 'sadistic'
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because of the fact that I pull flies wings off. Well, you don't hear
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them complaining, do you? -DD)
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Anyways, now that his wings are gone, all he can do is hop and run
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around like a complete fool. Now, here's the fun part.(What do you
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mean, pulling the wings off was the fun part!?)
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The first trick is to teach it the backspin. Put your new-found pet
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in the (a) corner in your room. The fly will then attempt to climb
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the wall. But, the poor, pitiful creature won't make it. He will
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fall to the dusty floor onto his back. This is where you come in. If
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he isn't spinning around, then give him a little help. They will be
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back-spinning in no time at all!
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You'll notice that flies without wings jump around a lot. This
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really looks like a neat act, and they can really jump far. (Coming
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next: Fly Olympics? Nahhh...)
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To make a fly moonwalk, watch it as it crawls around on your dresser
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top. Give it a fling with your index finger, and it will almost "fly"
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across the space it's in! Not only does it go backwards, but upside
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down, rightside up, right, left, north, south, etc...
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My favorite trick is to get a paper plate(You know, the cheap ones
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your mother buys from K-Mart...) and put your friend on top of the
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plate. Bounce him up and down on the plate, and watch him attempt to
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walk afterwards. It's really neat.
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Well, this is just about all of the neat little tricks you can do
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with bugs. You can take up boring Sunday afternoons with this
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pasttime, and maybe we'll se a breakdancing bugs contest one of these
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days. Maybe not.
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(ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: Lord Omega of Shadow Keep BBS suggests to
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spray them with 'Windex' and other household items. They really get
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weird, according to him.)
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I just also wanted to point out that Havoc the Chaos's Stepmother
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warned us that pulling wings off of flies was beginning signs of
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insanity. We are not in ANY way responsible for people's sanity,
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after they take up this sport. It was rumored that Charles Manson
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liked to play with flies...
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