56 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
56 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
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TO: All Department Heads
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FROM: Personnel Department
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SUBJ: New Employee Evaluation Forms
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NAME:__________________________________ DATE:_______________________
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JOB TITLE:_____________________________ DATE HIRED:_________________
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DEPARTMENT:____________________________ SUPERVISOR:_________________
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________________________________________________________________________
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ACCURACY __DOES SHITTY WORK AND CONSTANTLY FUCKS UP
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__DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT IF OUTPUT IS RIGHT OR WRONG
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__PRETTY GOOD, ONLY AN OCCASIONAL SCREW-UP
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__DOES GOOD WORK IF NOT PRE-OCCUPIED WITH BROADS/STUDS
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________________________________________________________________________
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RATE OF __DOESN'T DO A FUCKING THING ALL DAY LONG
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WORK __WORKS ONLY IF KICKED IN THE ASS VERY OFTEN
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__DOES A LOT OF WORK AT REVIEW TIME
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__GOES LIKE A SON-OF-A-BITCH IF HE THINKS HE'LL GET A RAISE
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__FASTEST MOTHER-FUCKER IN THE WEST
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________________________________________________________________________
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DEPENDABILITY
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__COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT MOTHER-HUMPING JERK
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__NEEDS FREQUENT THREATS AND ASS CHEWINGS
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__CONSCIENTIOUS ONLY IF SEX URGE IS SATISFIED
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__USUALLY DEPENDABLE AT SALARY REVIEW TIME
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__REALLY A RELIABLE COCK-SUCKER
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________________________________________________________________________
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KNOWLEDGE __STUPID BASTARD, DOESN'T KNOW HIS ASS FROM FIRST BASE
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__KNOWS JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS
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__ADEQUATE BRAIN POWER, BUT DOESN'T USE IT
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__KNOWS MOST PHASES OF THE JOB
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__SON-OF-A-BITCH REALLY KNOWS HIS SHIT
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________________________________________________________________________
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COOPERATION
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__PISS POOR ATTITUDE, THINKS HE IS BEING SHIT ON
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__OFTEN PISSES OFF CO-WORKERS
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__COOPERATIVE ONLY IF ASS IS KISSED FREQUENTLY
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__BROWN NOSER FIRST CLASS
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__COOPERATIVE IF PAID ENOUGH
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________________________________________________________________________
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ORDERLINESS
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__SLOPPY, DIRTY, FILTHY BASTARD-WORSE THAN OSCAR
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__PISSES IN ASH TRYS, SHITS IN THE CORNER
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__SOMETIMES EMPTIES ASH TRAYS AND HITS THE WASTBASKET
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__NEAT AND ORDERLY
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__NEATER THAN FELIX
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_________________________________________________________________________
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HANDLING __CONSTANTLY PISSES OFF THE TROOPS
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AND __FREQUENTLY GETS THE FINGER
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DEVELOPING__OCCASIONALLY GETS TOLD TO GET FUCKED
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PEOPLE __ONLY THE JANITORS OBEY HIM
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__CARRIES HATCHET AND GETS EXCELLENT RESULTS
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___________________________________ ___________________________________
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EMPLOYEE'S SIGNATURE SUPERVISOR'S SIGNATURE
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