72 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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How to Make Bugs Breakdance
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By: The Daredevil
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Hello, name's Daredevil. I am about to present you with step by step
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instructions on how to make insects and such to dance around like Michael
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Jackson. Havoc Chaos and I figured this out while over at Havoc's home. Bugs
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can breakdance, despite popular belief!
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The first thing you will need is a neat pair of tweezers. Their use will
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become obvious later in this SoftDoc. While tweezers work best, I also
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recommend scissors and (oops.) exacto-knives for those without shaky hands.
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The next thing you will need is a bug. I highly recommend flies, as they are
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abundant, and nobody really misses them. Some people get angry if you use
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insects like spiders or crickets. (Don't ask me, darn those enviromentalists.)
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Flies can be found around window sills, fresh meat, or any beer-guzzling
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father. They are pretty much easy to trap, but the catch is that you'll need
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them alive. Fly swatters and newspapers should not be used to catch these
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little buggers. Horse flies also are not recommended, as they are supposed to
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bite. (Hey, i've never been bitten. If you have, send me E-Mail, okay? -DD)
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The common house fly works best.
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Now, capturing these pests alive is the thing. Get a glass or something, and
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trap it. Wait a while, and watch it fly feebly around the jar looking for a way
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out. If you're smarter than you look, it won't get out. It's real fun to shake
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the jar and stun the sucker.
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Take the fly from the jar with a 'kleenex' or something of the like, and hold
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it so it's pitiful wings are accessable to you. Now, with the tweezers I
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mentioned above, pull his wings off.
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(AUTHORS NOTE: Some lesser minds have accually called me 'sadistic' because
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of the fact that I pull flies wings off. Well, you don't hear them complaining,
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do you? -DD)
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Anyways, now that his wings are gone, all he can do is hop and run around like
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a complete fool. Now, here's the fun part.(What do you mean, pulling the wings
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off was the fun part!?)
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The first trick is to teach it the backspin. Put your new-found pet in the
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(a) corner in your room. The fly will then attempt to climb the wall. But, the
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poor, pitiful creature won't make it. He will fall to the dusty floor onto his
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back. This is where you come in. If he isn't spinning around, then give him a
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little help. They will be back-spinning in no time at all!
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You'll notice that flies without wings jump around a lot. This really looks
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like a neat act, and they can really jump far. (Coming next: Fly Olympics?
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Nahhh...)
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My favorite trick is to get a paper plate(You know, the cheap ones your mother
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buys from K-Mart...) and put your friend on top of the plate. Bounce him up and
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down on the plate, and watch him attempt to walk afterwards. It's really neat.
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Well, this is just about all of the neat little tricks you can do with bugs.
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You can take up boring Sunday afternoons with this pasttime, and maybe we'll se
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a breakdancing bugs contest one of these days. Maybe not.
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(ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: Lord Omega of Shadow Keep BBS suggests to spray them
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with 'Windex' and other household items. They really get weird, according to
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him.)
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I just also wanted to point out that Havoc the Chaos's Stepmother warned us
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that pulling wings off of flies was beginning signs of insanity. We are not in
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ANY way responsible for people's sanity, after they take up this sport. It was
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rumored that Charles Manson liked to play with flies...
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---------------------------------------
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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