55 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
55 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
||
|
|
ADMINISTRATIUM
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Thomas G. Kyle
|
||
|
|
Los Alamos, New Mexico
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered
|
||
|
|
at one of the national laboratories. The element,
|
||
|
|
tentatively named administratium (Ad), has no electrons or
|
||
|
|
protons, thus having atomic number zero. It does, however,
|
||
|
|
have one neutron, 75 associate neutrons, 125 deputy associate
|
||
|
|
neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy associate neutrons. This
|
||
|
|
gives it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held
|
||
|
|
together in the nucleus by a force that invokes the
|
||
|
|
continuous exchange of mesonlike particles called memoons.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert.
|
||
|
|
Nevertheless, it can be detected chemically because it seems
|
||
|
|
to impede every reaction in which it takes part. According
|
||
|
|
to Dr. M. Languor, one of the discoverers of the element, a
|
||
|
|
very small amount of administratium caused one reaction that
|
||
|
|
normally occurs in less than a second to require over four
|
||
|
|
days to go to completion.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, at
|
||
|
|
which time it does not actually decay. Instead, it undergoes
|
||
|
|
an internal reorganization in which associates to the
|
||
|
|
neutron, deputy associates to the neutron, and the assistant
|
||
|
|
deputy associates to the neutron all exchange places. A
|
||
|
|
tendency has been observed for the atomic mass to actually
|
||
|
|
increase during each reorganization.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
|
||
|
|
Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
|
||
|
|
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
|
||
|
|
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
|
||
|
|
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
|
||
|
|
arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
|
||
|
|
insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
|
||
|
|
where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|