65 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
65 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
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> Bogged down by that 9-to-5 job?
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> Experiencing a constant depression?
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> Feel like you're not accomplishing anything?
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Well, all that can change, if you take our 30-day course on.....
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HOW TO BECOME SATAN!
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That's right, you can be the owner of one of the "hottest" jobs around, and
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have a great time, too! Being the Lord Of Flies is a job with many
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responsibilities, but with this great offer, you can soon be on your way to
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controlling the bleak land of eternal torment!
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Look at some of the perks that await you....
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* Sending nubile young virgins to their death, for NO other reason then for
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sexual playthings in an orgy that lasts FOREVER!
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* Having NO worries or threats of unions, dethronement, bills, or plumbing
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in your new occupation!
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* Meeting famous people like: Sen. Joe McCarthy, Jim Morrison, Idi Amin,
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and Paul Castellano!
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* Entering the mortal world at will and making deals with unsuspecting
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schmucks, and taking it ALL AWAY at a predetermined time, to gain control of
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their souls! (Satisfied Customers include Adolf Hitler and Donald Mannes)
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* Imagine the feeling when you dress up in a red tuxedo, and welcome your new
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"Guests" with IMPUNITY and PRIDE that you are SCARING THE LIVING SHIT OUT
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OF THEM!
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In Hell, there won't be any sexual diseases like the dreaded AIDS, because
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everyone'll already be dead! You can be as cruel as you want, because you
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WILL BE BEEZLEBUB, and nobody can refuse you!
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If what we've just described to you sounds like a dream come true, then WRITE
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NOW, and order your new RONCO SATAN HOME COURSE kit today!
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But that's not all! If you order within the next week, we'll include a FREE
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TABLEWARE SET that will match any occasion you come up with!
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So order today! And remember, "Anyone can be a devil, but it takes a special
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something to be the King of Darkness!"
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Send $99.99 to:
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Ron-Co Satan Home Course
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666 Eternal Damnation Avenue
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Death Valley, CA 12533
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==========================================================================
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Reccomendations:
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Use a LOT of different typestyles.
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Capitals should be big.
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Stars should be kept.
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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