119 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
119 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
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+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+
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+ The History of Real +
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+ K-K00L DOODS +
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+ Written & Complied +
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+ By: The Edge +
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+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+
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Call These:
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(415)851-4143 Pw:FOX The Fox Hole Ae
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(415)941-7256 The Haunted House
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+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+
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Edge here, I just wanted to tell y'all that this t-file is all about K-K00L
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DOODS and is formally dedicated to users with K-K00L habits.
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Well, enough with all the mumble-jumble, let's get started!
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+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+
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First, What is a K-K00L DOOD?
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A K-K00L DOOD is an organism of the human species which has a mysterious
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attraction to a micro chip processor. They are quite anti-social. The following
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is a list of K-K00L DOOD characteristics.....
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(1) Anti sociality(Ex:They usually hang up when a sysop wants their Apple II+ can't
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handle stuff like that)
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As you can see, this organism must lead a pathetic life. The following story
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is a dramatization of a K-K00L DOOD:
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Hark! It is 1:38 A.M.! No one is moving in the Smith house. But wait! There
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is little Eggbert Smith tip-toeing through the hallway! Why must the little
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fellow be alert at this time of night? For you see, Eggbert is a K-K00L DOOD
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and it is his duty to call the local 10-meg Ae and leech every little ware he
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can get his little hands on! He puts a pillow over his computer so it won't
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make too much noise when it boots up. He enters the password!Acess at last!
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But what is this? The sysop goes onto chat mode and asks,"Who is this?"
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Little Eggbert (Who is SO nervous that he is jumping around the floor in
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his choo-choo train P.J.s so he won't wet his pants) carefully types the name:
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"Dr. Micro"
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Who ,in fact, is a famous software pirate. The sysop naturally disbelieves him
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and hangs him up.Poor little Eggbert! He has nothing to do but call his only
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friend "Irving". Naturally, Irving is awake because he too tried to leech off
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an ae and got kicked off. The obviously talk through the modem because they are
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too scared to talk to each other voice. Here is how their message went:
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HELLO? DR. IRVING? R U THAIR?
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HELLO? THE GRIM EGGBERT? IZ THAT U?
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YES! O AM EYE GLAD I FOUND U!!!1!!11111!11!!!!
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(Ed note:Sorry to bother you but i'll just put a "*" to every lie they make)
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HA!!!!!!!HA!!!!!!!HA!!!!111!!!111HA!!!!!!111!11!!!1!!!111!K-K00L! U R SUCH A
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DOOD!!!!1!!111!!!!!1!!
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WAREZ? U HAV ANY WAREZ?
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YAH. I HAV OLYMPIC DECATHALON! REAL K-K00L WARE!
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* K-K00L! LET'S TRAID! I HAVE ULTIMA 4 AND EVEN ULTIMA 5!
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* SORRY DOOD...BUT CINDY IS AT MY LEFT....SHE'S JUST TUGGING ME TO GO INTO
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THE FERRARI! I CAN'T DOOO ANY K-K00L TRADING....U KNOW HOW IT IZ!!!!1!1!111!
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* YEAH I SHUR DO. CAN I TALK TO CINDY?
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* (Eggbert by the way, is still at the computer console)
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HELLO? THIS IS CINDY! I'M A BLONDE! THE GRIM EGGBERT IS K-K00L!!!1!111!!!!11!
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* (Dr. Irving is blushing and giggling because he's never talked to a "Girl"
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before.)
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HYI....HYI...HI THERE...THIS IS DR. IRVING. I'M THE GRIM EGGBERT'S FRIEND
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* OH HI THERE! U WANT 2 CUM OWT WITH ME AND THE GRIM EGGBERT 4 SUM HEAVY DUTY
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STUFF?
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* SORRY...BUT U SEA....I HAVE A GIRL UV MY OWN...SHE'S PART OF THE ROLLER DERBY
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U KNOW.....
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* THIS IS THE GRIM EGGBERT AGAIN I HAVE TO GO BYE
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AE: CONNECTION TERMINATED
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->
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So little Eggbert goes back to bed. Worrying about the fears that lie ahead
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in life......another day.......another time....
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The K-K00L DOOD epidemic is swiftly plaguing the whole user world with these
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imbeciles. Symptoms of K-K00L DOODNESS:
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(1)You slowly have the urge to write in UPPER CASE.
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(2)You want to be a leech.
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(3)You have the tendency of waking up in the middle of the night
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(4) You want to be a K-K00L DOOD!
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If you think you are turning into a K-K00L dude, go directly to your local
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Patriots of America and shout "No nukes!No nukes! Reagan is a Commie! Welfare!
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Liberality! Commies are really our friends!Love and Peace to all! Gays are
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people too! A.I.D.S. came from Reagan!Yay!"
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You will be immediatelly shot to death.
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That concludes this edition of "The History of K-K00L DOODS"
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If anyone out there wants to write a "The History of K-K00L DOODS II" feel
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free to write it.Fuck! It's 2:39 A.M.! I think i'll call it a night....
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Before I close up, I'd like to thank the Ascii Assassin for giving me the idea.
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Also, I'd like to thank lord Gypher for doing nothing at all.
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Thank You and good night!(I'll need it!)
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The Edge of The (M)arinate (H)igh (C)ouncil
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