207 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
207 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
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Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org> writes:
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> The Funniest Lines
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> ==================
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>
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>Here is a collection of Lines. You can use any of them in your
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>signatures files. This list will be updated regularly. Enjoy...
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>
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>"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>"If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - Bill Gates
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating
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> system, and possible program, of all time." - Bill Gates, 1987
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>"OS/2 is destined to be a very important piece of software. During the
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>next 10 years, millions of programmers and users will utilize this
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>system." Bill Gates, 1988
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>"In fact, I don't think 7-11s even take coupons. I should check that
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>out..." - Bill Gates, 1992
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>"While we liked developing Windows applications, we never inhaled."
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>- Philippe Kahn, 1992
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>"New GUIs from IBM and NeXT make Windows look old hat."
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>- Datamation, 1992
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>" Why are manhole covers round?
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> How many gas stations are there in the U.S.?"
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>- Interview questions asked by Microsoft, 1992
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>(Dos + Windows + ATM) < OS/2 2.0!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>2.0 is better than 1.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Bugs come in through open Windows.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS! Try today's OS/2!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Dos: Venerable. Windows: Vulnerable. OS/2: Viable.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Scanning for Viruses...Windows Found! Please Remove.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Friends don't let friends use Windows.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Have you crashed your Windows today?
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>He who laughs last uses OS/2.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>How do you spell relief? OS/2!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>I love running Windows! NOT!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>I smashed a Window and saw... *OS/2*
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>I use OS/2 2.0 and I don't care who knows!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>It takes 2.0, baby, it takes 2.0...
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>My best view from a Window was through OS/2.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>One man's Windows are another man's walls.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2 2.0: Taking the wind out of Windows.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2 in '92!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2: Bill Gates' worst nightmare!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2: Logic, not magic.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2: Not just another pretty program loader!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2: The choice of the next generation.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2: Windows done RIGHT!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2: Windows with bullet-proof glass.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2: The human way of Computing!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>OS/2: Your brain. Windows: Your brain on drugs.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>See the Future; See OS/2. Be the Future; Run OS/2.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.
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>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Wait for OS/2 2.0 - the best Windows tip around!
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>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>What I like about MS is its loyalty to customers!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>What's so great that people are switching to Windows?
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>What?!? DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke?
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>WindowError:001 Windows loaded. System in danger.
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>WindowError:002 No error . . . yet.
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>WindowError:003 Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every
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> file.
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>WindowError:004 Erronious error. Nothing wrong.
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>WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted. System confused.
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>WindowError:006 Malicous error. Desqview found on drive.
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>WindowError:007 System price error. Inadequate money spent.
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>WindowError:008 Broken window. Watch for glass fragments.
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>WindowError:009 Horrible bug encounterd. God knows what has happened.
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>WindowError:00A Promotional literature overflow. Mailbox full.
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>WindowError:00B Inadequate disk space. Need 50 meg minimum.
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>WindowError:00C Memory hog error. More ram needed. More! More!
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>WindowError:00D Window closed. Do not look out.
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>WindowError:00E Window open, do not loo in.
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>WindowError:00F Unexplaind error. Please tell us how it happened.
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>WindowError:010 Reserved for future mistakes
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>WindowError:014 Nonexisent error. This cannot really be happening.
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>WindowError:015 Unable to exit windows. Try the door.
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>WindowError:016 Door locked. Try control-alt-delete
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>WindowError:017 Keyboard locked. Try anything you can think of.
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>WindowError:018 Unrecoverable error. System destroyed.
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>WindowError:019 User error. It's not our fault. Is not! Is not!
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>WindowError:01A Oprating system overwritten. Terribly sorry.
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>WindowError:01B Illegal error. Do not get this error.
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>WindowError:01C Uncertainty error. Uncertainty may be inadequate.
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>WindowError:01D Unable to figure out our own code. System crashed.
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>WindowError:01E Timing error. Please wait. And wait. And wait.
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>WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes
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>WindowError:020 Error recording error codes. Remaining errors lost.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows 3.1 - The Best $89 Solitaire Game You can Buy!
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>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows = Training wheels for OS/2!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows = Turn a 386/25 into a 4.77 Mhz XT
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows is a pane
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows is great if you can make it work.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Fuctionally Challenged"
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows NT: From the makers of Windows 3.0!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows NT? New Technology? I don't think so...
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows NT? Want to run it? Check IEEE Spectrum "TERAFLOPS GALORE."
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>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows: A View to be Killed.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows: The CP/M of the future!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows: The Gates of hell.
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows? Homey don't play that!
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windows? WINDOWS?!? Hahahahahehehehehohohoho...
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions
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>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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>You're throwing it all out the Windows!
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-------------------------------------------------END of FILE-------------
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Tja... kanske skulle vara n<>tt f<>r IBM att trycka upp p<> t-shirts
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och erbjuda Windows uppgraderare... 8--)
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UPLOADAT till PCC av Stefan Norberg (internet: nobbe@csd.uu.se)
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