textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/testfors.txt

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2021-04-15 11:31:59 -07:00
TEST FOR SYSTEM ANALYSTS
INSTRUCTIONS:
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit:
4 hours. Begin immediately.
HISTORY:
Describe the history of papacy from its origins to the present
day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its
social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical
impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concice,
and specific.
MEDICINE:
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze,
and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture
until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
PUBLIC SPEAKING:
2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm
them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.
BIOLOGY:
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human
culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years
earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the
English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
MUSIC:
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute
and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
PSYCHOLOGY:
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of
each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodiasis, Ramses II,
Gregory of Nicia, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with
quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references.
It is not necessary to translate.
SOCIOLOGY:
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the
end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
ENGINEERING:
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed
on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed
in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be
admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel
appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
ECONOMICS:
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.
Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas:
Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light.
Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this
method from all all possible points of view. Point out the
deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your
answer to the last question.
POLITICAL SCIENCE:
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World
War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if
any.
EPISTEMOLOGY:
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of
your stand.
PHYSICS:
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an
evaluation of the impact of the developement of mathematics on
science.
PHILOSOPHY:
Sketch the developement of human thought, estimate its
significance. Compare with the developement of any other kind
of thought.
GENERAL KNOWLEGDE:
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.