81 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
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From bad@wonder.UUCP Mon Apr 3 17:16:54 1989
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From: bad@wonder.UUCP (Bad Temperton)
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Subject: The last word on the rec.porn.child debate
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Hello. I'm Bad Temperton. You probably know me best as the
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moderator of the wildly popular newsgroup, rec.porn.child.
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There have been some misconceptions about this newsgroup
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flying around lately, and I'd like to clear them up for you,
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free of charge.
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First, some background. Rec.porn.child was set up a couple
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of years ago because a lot of people were tired of the drivel
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in rec.porn and wanted something a bit more, well, special.
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I volunteered to take some time off my arduous job as net
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know-it-all to become the moderator.
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Since then, it's become clear that there is a real market
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for "young stuff" out there. I'm pleased to say that its
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readership now numbers 500,000 readers solar-system-wide,
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including all newsreaders in Arizona, the undergraduate
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population of Warwick University, and the entire backbone
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cabal.
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There was some unfortunate controversy last fall about the
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article entitled "How to Kidnap One for Yourself". I'm
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pleased to say that this controversy has now been proven
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to be completely unfounded.
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I agree that the article was probably illegal. I agree
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that it was probably offensive to all people who were
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molested as children, all people who know anyone who was
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molested, all people who have ever had children, and all
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people who have ever been children. But these people are
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probably a minority, albeit a vocal one.
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So I'm glad there were so many people who supported so well
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my right to send them anything they want to read. After all,
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Absolute Freedom of Speech is almost the Most Important Thing
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(second only to the Net itself). So I think we should continue
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to silence those who think petty concerns like human dignity
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are more important. The only way to keep Usenet the perfect
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place to practise freedom of speech is to keep it almost
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totally devoid of real-world concerns like the law and money.
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Which brings me to the issue of my contract with the Devil.
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Some people have objected to this plan, saying that it is
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against the supposedly "anarchistic" Spirit of Usenet. Some
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people have even called Usenet "the best argument against
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anarchy ever put forward". In fact, Usenet is not an
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anarchy. It is a libertarian Bradarchy, to get technical.
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This means, roughly, that as more and more public institutions
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pay to maintain it, the greed of some of its users will
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reach a "critical mass" and they will try to take advantage
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of it. This accords well with my political philosophy, which
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is that (1) there should be no public institutions, and that
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(2) everyone should be allowed to do anything they want.
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(Except my employees, of course, but you have to draw the line
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somewhere.)
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My contract with the Devil is basically this. I give him a
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newsfeed, for which he pays me $5,000/Kbyte. In return, he
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gets to claim the mortal souls of all Usenetters who flame
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others unnecessarily. I took a vote on this in alt.satanism,
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since that seemed the place I was most likely to get support,
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and I'm pleased to say it was very favourable.
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For exact details, you can contact the Devil at
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...!drugbaron!ayatollahvax!terriites!kremvax!jtower
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but rest assured that this is a very mutually beneficial
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arrangement. I make a profit, and, as everyone will agree,
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within six months he'll have everyone on the Net.
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Yours for a "free" Usenet,
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--
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Bad Temperton, Wonderland Wetware Ltd. -- Spuzzum, BC 604/555-1313
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