424 lines
17 KiB
PkgConfig
424 lines
17 KiB
PkgConfig
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+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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| THE PC MANIFESTO |
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| FEATURING A PC PRIMER AND REVISED PC LEXICON |
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| By Saul Jerushalmy & Rens Zbignigwiuw X. |
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| COPYRIGHT 1991 - All Rights Reserved
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+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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"...In order to forge a cosmic accord of unprecidented unity and harmony,
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The Politically Correct Movement demands that all people, regardless of
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prior social preconditioning must accept the incipient world order that
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will offer unlimited bliss and contentment. Dammit."
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- Prof. Dr. Skippy "Tiang-Min" Whitmore
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Berkeley CA, 1965
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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PC PRIMER
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Q: WHAT IS P.C.?
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PC stands for Politically Correct. We of the Politically Correct
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philosophy believe in increasing a tolerance for a DIVERSITY of cultures,
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race, gender, ideology and alternate lifestyles. Politically Correctness
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is the only social and morally acceptable outlook. Anyone who disagrees
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with this philosophy is bigoted, biased, sexist, and/or closed-minded.
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Q: WHY SHOULD I BE PC?
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Being PC is fun. PCism is not just an attitude, it is a way of life! PC
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offers the satisfaction of knowing that you are undoing the social
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evils of centuries of oppression.
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Q: I AM A WHITE MALE. CAN I STILL BE PC?
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Sure. You just have to feel very guilty.
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Q: WHY?
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If you are a white male, your ancesters were responsible for practically
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every injustice in the world- slavery, war, genocide and plaid sportcoats.
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That means that YOU are partially responsible for these atrocities. Now
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it is time to balance the scales of justice for the decendants of those
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individuals whose ancestors your ancestors pushed down.
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Q: HOW?
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It's simple. You've got to be careful what you say, what you think, and
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what you do. You just don't want to offend anyone.
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Q: YOU MEAN I SHOULD GUARD AGAINST OFFENDING ANYONE?
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That's right. Being offensive is destructive, and will not make the world
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a harmonious utopia, like in John Lennon's IMAGINE.
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Q: HOW ELSE CAN I BE PC?
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Oh, there are lots of ways. For example, why buy regular ice cream when you
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can buy "Rain Forest Crunch?" Segrega..whoops..seperate all of your garbage
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into different containers: glass, metal, white paper, blue paper, plastic,
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etc. Make sure that all your make-up has not been tested on animals. Try to
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find at least sixty ways to use your water; when you take a shower, brush your
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teeth at the same time. Then don't let the water go down the drain, use it to
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irrigate your lawn. Or better yet, replace your lawn with a vegetable garden.
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Don't use aerosal. By all means, don't burn American Flags!
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If you are fortunate enough to know your ethnic heritage, dress the part.
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Don't do drugs. You should listen to at least one of the following PC
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musicians: U2, REM, Sinead O'Connor, Sting, or KD Lang.
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Harrass people who wear fur coats. Remind them that an innocent baby seal was
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mercilessly clubbed. Or just yell, "FUR." They hate that.
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And don't EVER eat meat.
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Q: DON'T EAT MEAT? WHY NOT?!
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Cows are animals, just like humans are animals. That means that they have
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rights. When you eat meat, you're oppressing animals!
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Q: SO ALL KILLING IS BAD?
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No, not always. Sometimes killing can be justified, like in the Persian
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Gulf. You have to be able to tell when an animal has rights, and when
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it doesn't.
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Q: HOW DO I KNOW WHEN AN ANIMAL HAS RIGHTS?
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[more] The general rule is as follows:
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IF AN ANIMAL IS RARE, PRETTY, BIG, CUTE, FURRY,
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HUGGABLE, OR LOVABLE, THEN IT HAS RIGHTS.
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Examine the following chart:
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RIGHTS NO RIGHTS
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-------- -----------
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cows cockroaches
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cute bunnies flies
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dolphins in tuna nets tuna in tuna nets
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whales sharks
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red squirrels gray squirrels
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owls loggers
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harbor seals barnacles
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Q: WOW. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO BE PC?
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Hug a tree. Rejoice each day in our cultural differences, for they are what
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gives flavour to our great country. Get in touch with your sexual identity.
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[more] Check your refrigerator for freon leaks. Subscribe to National Geo
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Search it for neat non-Western cultural traditions and costumes. After you read
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it, use the paper as an alternate fuel source.
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Q: I'M NOT SURE ABOUT ALL OF THIS.
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If you are feeling unsure about your motivation, just remember. YOU ARE
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RIGHT. It's that simple. You are right.
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Q: HOW DO I KNOW IF AN ACTION IS UN-PC?
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Good question. It's important to know when someone is saying something
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insensitive so that you can have that person removed from society. The
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guideline is as follows:
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Is the confrontation between two white people?
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Yes -> The liberal is right.
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No -> The white person is oppressing the ethnic person.
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Remember, many seemingly obvious issues, such as the railroading
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[more] of Mayor Marion Barry, or the Clarence Thomas issue, are really rac
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Here's a fun practice drill for you: See how many newspaper articles you can
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make into race bias stories. It's fun! Some PCers are so good they can make
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the weather report look like a KKK pamphlet!
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Q: WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I SEE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING NON-PC?
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It all depends on the situation. If you are not in a position of authority,
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by all means report this activity immediately to whomever is in charge. If
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your school leader, employer, or superior is hip to the trend of the 90s,
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she or he will take the necessary steps to have the insensitive offender
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disciplined.
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Q: BUT ISN'T THAT CENSORSHIP?
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The Constitution never meant for racism, sexism and insensitivity to be
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espoused by anyone. That's not what free speech is about. Some call it
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censorship. PCers call it "selective" speech. Saying something negative about
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a particular race or gender is just as damaging as, say, punching them in the
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face. We just can't allow that kind of verbal assault.
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[more]
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Q: I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT PC WORDS TO REPLACE "BLACK," "INDIAN." ETC.
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Yes. That's part of the PC movement. You see, part of the way we think
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about people comes directly from the words we use to describe them. Take
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"black" for instance. Why should a person be judged by the color of their
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skin?
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Q: YOU MEAN THEY SHOULD RATHER BE JUDGED BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR CHARACTER?
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No, I mean they should be judged by where their ancestors are from. If your
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great grandparents are from Africa, or Asia, or wherever, then you should
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be identified by that fact. You can even apply for special scholarships!
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Q: I'M A MIXTURE OF FRENCH, GERMAN, ENGLISH, AND RUSSIAN. CAN I GET ONE?
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No, there are no scholarships for any of those. Sorry. If you are a woman,
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however, there should be plenty.
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Q: HEY, WOULDN'T A WHITE PERSON FROM LIBYA OR EGYPT TECHNICALLY BE AN
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AFRICAN-AMERICAN?
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[more]
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Technically, yes. But that's not the kind of African-American we mean.
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That is, we're REALLY talking about skin color, but we're pretending that
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we aren't. Another example: A white South-African U.S. immigrant is not
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an African-American either.
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Q: HOW CAN I LEARN TO MAKE MY LANGUAGE MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT?
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For more help, see the PC LEXICON at the end of the handbook.
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Q: I'D LIKE MY CHILD TO BE PC. WHAT CAN I DO?
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Well, for one thing, we should forcibly encourage students to volunteer
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their time with philanthropies. Also, we should re-emphasize non-Western
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perspectives on history. Finally, we should re-structure tests and quizzes
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to reflect cultural biases.
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Q: I DON'T GET IT.
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Well, the way the system works now, "select" under-represented minorities
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who tend to do worse on entrance tests have lower standards of admissions
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[more] at school and work and receive preferential treatment. This is unf
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wrong.
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Q: IT IS?
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Yes. The truly PC way to do it is to have a different grading scale for
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different groups which gives or subtracts points from the final score,
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depending on who is taking the test. If you are white, then you have been
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benefited by society during your life. That means that you lose
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ten to fifteen points to make the test fair to everyone else.
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Q: I GUESS THAT SOUNDS RIGHT.
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It IS right. That's the beauty of PC.
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Q: WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF?
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Humor. PC people take every comment VERY seriously. We will not accept
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any comment, joke, remark, or anything that sounds like it could be a
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racial slur.
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[more] Q: GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE.
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"What's black and white and red all over?" has been staple humor for
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decades. Not PC- It can be taken the wrong way.
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In every day speech, try to use phrases like,
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"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle African-American." Any racial jokes
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or jokes even mentioning culture or gender should be omitted. True, this
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mostly limits comedy to the level of sitcoms, but that's the price you pay for
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social equality.
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Q: IS THAT ALL THERE IS TO IT?
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Yes. The Politically Correct belief is essentially a recognition that
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people are diversely equal. We rejoice in this equality by treating
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people differently based on their equal individuality. Hop aboard the
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bandwagon... Be PC. Or you're an intolerant, racist, sexist insensitive
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pig.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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[more] PC LEXICON
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"Insensitive Term" "Preferred Term"
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------------------ ----------------
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-> ETHNICITY <-
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(PC people do not recognize the term, "race," as valid)
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Black - African-American
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(NOTE: DOES NOT INCLUDE
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LIBYANS, EGYPTIONS, WHITE S-AFRICANS.
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DOES INCLUDE
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PEOPLE WITH DARK SKIN REGARDLESS OF
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WHERE THEY ARE FROM OR WHERE THEY LIVE.)
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Oriental - Asian-American
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(NOTE: NOT CONSIDERED "REAL" MINORITIES
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SINCE THEY TEND TO DO WELL)
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Indian - Native-American
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[more] (NOTE: THE FOLLOWING TEAMS ARE
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Atlanta Braves
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Cleveland Indians
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Kansas City Chiefs
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Washington Redskins
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AVOID THESE CITIES!!!)
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Chicano - Hispanic
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(NOTE: THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT PC:
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Cheech and Chong
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Chico and the Man episodes
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Cisco Kid
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Rosarita Salsa
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Speedy Gonzales
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AVOID! AVOID!)
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Towel Head/ Ay-Rab - Arab-American
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White Trash - PC Unaware
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Rustically Inclined
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[more] WASP (white male) - Insensitive Cultural Oppressor
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-> GENDER <-
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(PC people don't like the word "sex" as it has confusing connotations)
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Woman - Womyn, Vaginal-American
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Girl - Pre-Womyn
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Housewife - Domestic Engineer
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Fireman - Firefighter
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Stewardess - Flight Attendent
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Meter Maid - Parking Enforcement Aduciator
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Post Man - Post Person
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Mail Man - Person Person
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[more] Policeman (cop, pig) - Law Enforcement Officer
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Baton Boy
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Cal. Clubber
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Prostitute - Sex Surrogate
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(Teen Victim. See: Broken Home)
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Mankind, Human - Earth Children
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-> PEOPLE : SUB-GROUPS <-
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Handicapped - Differently Abled
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(Blind - Optically Darker
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Photonically Non-receptive
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Deaf - Visually Oriented)
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Poor - Economically Unprepared
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Bum - Homeless Person
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Displaced Homeowner
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Philosophy Major
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[more]
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Hunter - Animal Assassin
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Meat Mercinary
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Bambi Butcher
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Whaler - Blubber Lovers
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Old Person / Elderly - 4th-Dimentionally Extended
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Gerontologically Advanced
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Conservative - Right Wing Extremist Facist Pig
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Drug Addict - Chemically Challenged
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Bald - Comb-Free
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Bisexual - Sexually Non-preferential
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Midget, Dwarf - Little People
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Vertically Challenged
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[more] Convict - Socially Seperated
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Insane People - Selectively Perceptive
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Mental Explorers
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(person with) (person with)
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Learning Disability - Self-Paced Cognitive Ability
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Tree-Hugger - Environmental Activist
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Logger - Wood Weasel
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Paper Pirate
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Treeslayer
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Dead People - Disfunctional Earth Children
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-> MISCELLANEOUS <-
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Broken Home - Disfunctional Family
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HouseBroken - Family Disfunction
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[more]
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Cattle Ranch - Cattle Concentration Camp (CCC)
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"Moo-shwitz"
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Senile Bag o' Bones - Alzheimer's Victim
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Ghetto/Barrio - (EHA) Ethnically Homogenous Area
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Pre-Integrated Pre-Nirvana
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Hamburger - Seared Mutillated Animal Flesh (SMAF)
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Cheeseburger - Adding Insult to Injury
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Cheating (in School) - Academic Dishonosty
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Used Books - Recycled Books
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Trees - Oxygen Exchange Units
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B
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Gang - Youth Group
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B
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[more] Pimp-mobile, Low-rider - Culturally Responsive Transport
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B
|
||
|
|
Drunk/Trashed - Spatially Perplexed
|
||
|
|
B
|
||
|
|
Slum - (EOZ) Economic Opression Zone
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
Delicatessen - Corpse Farm
|
||
|
|
A Charnel House
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
SOCIALLY INTOLLERABLE WORDS (SIWs)
|
||
|
|
----------------------------------
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
These are some, but unfortunetely not all, words that are used to describe
|
||
|
|
people. Remember, there are much more elequent PC ways to say the same thing
|
||
|
|
without offending any of Earth's Children.
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
DO NOT USE THESE WORDS.
|
||
|
|
(except when telling other people not to use them)
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
IF YOU HEAR ANYONE USE THESE WORDS, REGARDLESS OF CONTEXT, RESPOND IMMEDIATELY:
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
[more] "Alky, Babe, Beaner, Bimbo, Bitch, Blonde, Broad, Bum, Canuck, Chic
|
||
|
|
A Coolie, Coon, Commie, Crip, Dego, Dike, Dot-head, Druggie, Fag, Fairy,
|
||
|
|
A Four-Eyes, Fudgepacker, Greaser, Hebe, Hippie, Honky, Hooknose, Indian,
|
||
|
|
A Injun, Jap, JAP, Jesus-Freaks, Kike, Kraut, Lez, Lush, Nazi, Nigger, Pinko,
|
||
|
|
A Pollock, Raghead, Redneck, Redskin, Retard, Ruskie, Skirt, Spic, Tart, Toots,
|
||
|
|
A Uncle Tom, Whore, White-Trash, Wop"
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
READING THIS LIST MADE YOUR SKIN TINGLE WITH REVULSION, DIDN'T IT?
|
||
|
|
IT BETTER HAVE.
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
THE ABOVE ARE FULSOME TERMS. PC DOCTRINE STATES THAT ALL REFERENCES
|
||
|
|
TO THESE WORDS BE DELETED FROM EXTANT PRINTED MATERIAL AND CONVERSATION.
|
||
|
|
A
|
||
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
Copyright 1991 - A Friedman/Haladyna Production - All Rights Reserved
|
||
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
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