116 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
116 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
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File : APTEL90.TXT
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Author : Iceman(NZ)
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BBS : The Banana Republic BBS
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Applied Telecommunications goes to Computing '90
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================================================
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This document describes Applied Telecommunications' trip to Computing '90
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and the various events that occurred there. After the success of our trip last
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year (see the file APTEL89.TXT) it was decided to mount an even larger
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expedition this year.....and now read on....
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The Crew:
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=========
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Name: Position / Company A.k.a.
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Eddie Van Halen SNJ QZM
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<Censored> SNJ Hexen Hammer
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The Cookie Monster - / Nibbles and Bytes Hexen Hammer
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Dr.Dobbs SNJ Turbo Scuzzy
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Hugh Lette-Packard Disk Drive Controller / E.M.Pty The Iceman
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The Iceman Consultant to the BR The Iceman
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E.N.Iac SNJ Cuzzin It/Rastaman Ja
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El Prez Sysop of the BR El Prez
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Bat Bastard Consultant to the BR Bat bastard
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<Censored> <Censored> Mack the Knife
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Note that those people listed twice later re-registered under another name.
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Also, various other people for one reason or another used their real names.
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Preamble:
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=========
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At 9:30 almost 90% of the staff of Applied Telecommunications appeared as
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if by magic in the Computer Lab at Auckland University, ostensibly to attend a
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business meeting for a company somehow related to Applied Telecommunications in
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an undefinable manner. Many of them had dressed especially for the occasion:
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QZM wore a long coat with seemingly bottomless pockets, ideal for storing free
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samples of products; the Rastaman wore a stylish black jacket over which he
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draped his slightly less stylish "Cuzzin It" hair; and the Iceman (for the
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first time in living history) actually wore shoes (however he offset this
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slightly by wearing a "Kentucky Fried Chicken" shirt and faded jeans). After a
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relatively brief meeting consisting mainly of rude comments about a certain
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brand of computer, we distributed ourselves into various cars, and sped off in
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the direction of the Epsom Showgrounds, clutching business passes acquired by
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various means, blank disks, copying programs, and lists of funny names to use
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on the registration form.
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Amble:
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======
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Upon arriving at the venue and stowing vast quantities of materiel into the
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enormous pockets of QZM's coat, we approached the foyer of the Michael Fowler
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centre, only to discover with horror that our business passes were worthless -
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there were stacks of them lying around for anyone to use. Even more mysterious
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was the presence of a number of unattended terminals, apparently for
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"do-it-yourself" registration. Presumably this was done as a cost-cutting
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measure and to speed up what has previously been something of a bottleneck;
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however this may not be done again next year due to its abuse by a number of
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irresponsible hoons who entered all sorts of ridiculous names and companies
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into the system.
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After typing in our names, addresses, phone numbers, computer systems, date
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of birth, and mother's maiden name, we proceeded into the hall, immediately
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launching into the annual "see-who-can-collect-the-most-business-cards"
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competition, coupled with a souvenir-gathering blitz that would have put a
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major crimewave to shame. The main competition was between the Iceman and
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Rastaman Ja, who were determined to outdo each other in the volume of their
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"acquisitions". At around the same time, Eddie van Halen, wearing a Roland
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synthesizer shirt and standing in front of a keyboard trying to play it, was
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asked by a salesman if he was sure he knew what he was doing. Shortly
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afterwards, he was seen engaged in conversation with an ernest-looking
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gentleman of Dutch descent wanting to know which part of Holland he came from.
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At around 2:30, the contingent from the esteemed Banana Republic BBS
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arrived, and El Presidente, the sysop, immediately handed out BR stickers to
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all present. At this point also several people underwent name changes as they
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assumed their BR identities (it is also rumoured that some people underwent sex
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changes as well, however Mack the Knife has vigorously denied these
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allegations). Now it was time to witness, once again, that most amazing of
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things, the Presidential Souvenir-Gathering Manoeuver. This involved wandering
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up to a booth, engaging the salespeople there in conversation for a few
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minutes, then calmly opening a large bag and, in one grand motion, sweeping the
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entire contents of the table in front of the booth into it. This technique
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really had to be seen to be believed.
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Shortly thereafter the Iceman located an unattended Exhibitors Pass lying
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next to a Wang system, but despite all attempts to acquite it he was repeatedly
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foiled by the eagle-eyed salesman hovering around the stand. However, he later
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relieved the Number One Software stand of one of these prizes while the staff
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were busy discussing the merits of the Jaffas they were supposed to be
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distributing in a quiet corner. Rumour has it that Mack the Knife also
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acquired one of these treasured items at the close of the exhibition, along
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with an enamelled chart of the show LAN, and miscellaneous other paraphernalia.
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A place of interest at the show was the NZ Micro stand, where at some time
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during the event nearly every sysop in Auckland turned up, both those of the
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more legitimate BBS's, and those of "other" BBS's (most of them members of the
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Applied Telecommunications group). In fact, there was such a strong Aptel
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showing this year that salesmen at various stands recognised the company as
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soon as they read out nametags.
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However, all good times must come to an end, and so we bid farewell to the
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hackers social event of the year (excluding the world-famous Banana Republic
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party), and with hearts heavy and pockets bulging with small mementos of the
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show, we quietly set out homewards once again ("Do you think we could blow
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their tires if we turn the volume up far enough?").
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--- Watch out for Applied Telecommunications at Computing '91 ---
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(And lock up your valuables)
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The Iceman.
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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AUTHOR : Iceman(NZ)
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Brought to the WORLD by The Banana Republic BBS
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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