99 lines
3.8 KiB
Standard ML
99 lines
3.8 KiB
Standard ML
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Santa's Clothes
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Prior to the 1680's, Santa wore anything that was warm. Some years his
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clothes were made up of reindeer hair and were brown; some years he wore
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cotton and wool, and his clothes were white.
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But early in the 1680's, Santa realized he needed a trademark, so people
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would know it was him coming down their chimney, and not some robber.
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Since that time he's worn the same clothes every year -- though he usually
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reserves the red overcoat and the red hat for his Christmas rounds.
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As might be imagined, Mrs. Santa has a real laundering chore when Santa
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gets back from his Christmas rounds. Each chimney he goes down makes him
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progressively dirtier, though his outer clothes are specially designed to
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absorb soot so he doesn't track it all over everybody's houses. But by the
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time he's done his clothes are filled in every thread and seam and fiber.
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Mrs. Claus cleans the clothes using a very simple, though effective, method:
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she lays them outside and lets the snow build up on them. By the spring
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thaw (such as there is at the North Pole), the clothes are fresh and clean
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again, ready to wear!
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CLOTHES DESCRIPTION:
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Santa's Special Vest
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____________________
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All of Santa's clothing is special, but his vest is particularly so. He
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acquired his vest long before any other part of his outfit, and it's the
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only article of clothing that he hasn't needed to replace.
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Long ago, when Santa was still young, he was able to do a great favor for
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a group of tribesmen in Afghanistan. He literally saved their necks --
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and in gratitiude they gave him a magic vest. "Keep this vest close to
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your heart forever," they told him, "and it will serve you well."
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Their promise has been fulfilled many times over. As the years have
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passed, Santa has discovered all kinds of uses for his magic vest. For
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example, it protects him against flying birds (even big ones) and violent
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clouds. And recently he's discovered a particularly nice feature of the
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vest's pockets. Although they look small, for some reaon they'll hold a
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great deal of stuff. He puts them to good use. As he makes his Christmas
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rounds he is given thousands of cookies and glasses of milk. It's too
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much for even Santa to eat, but he can't refuse the gift. So he takes it
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all with him. Into one vest pocket goes all the cookies. Into the other
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goes the milk. After he gets home, and after the elves wake up from their
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winter's nap, they enjoy cookies and milk through the whole summer! All
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because of the Afghan vest!
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Santa's Red Hat
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_______________
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Has white trim and white ball. The ball is not simply decorative, but
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helps keep Santa's neck warm.
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The Coat
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________
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Fur-lined inside. Santa explains he wears red "because it keeps the flies
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and mosquitoes off. They don't like red." (Try it--it works!)
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The Trousers
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____________
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Are soft leather and come from the Red Wooger. They are waterproof, which
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is an urgent necessity when you're flying around outside in the winter. The
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suspenders are more than for show, since Santa often forgoes the belt when
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he's not dressing formally.
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Santa's Underwear
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_________________
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Is made of elf hair. It took many seasons of haircuts to collect enough of
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the hair -- but it was worth it.
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The Belt
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________
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Made in the USA and donated by Smith Bros. Beltworks. Santa has worn the
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same belt for 129 Christmases now.
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Santa's Socks
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_____________
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Are made of virgin wool fro sheep raised in Argentina. Both the heel and
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toe are reinforced.
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The Boots
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_________
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Are fur-lined. In very cold weather Santa can fold the top of the boots up
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over his calves to keep his legs warmer.
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On anyone else, Santa's outfit would make the person look really silly. But
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Santa isn't just anyone -- he's made the wardrobe into a symbol of happiness.
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