110 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
110 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
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| How to Kill Santa Claus Dead! |
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| by The >Outland> A Neon Knights/Metal Communications Release |
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| Milliways 10Meg/BBS/AE/Catfur.............................(609)/921-1994 |
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This is my second file of the christmas season, it's the thought of people
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being happy and nothing that I can do to make thier day as rotten as possible.
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Christmas season is great, because if you kill Santa Clause all the little kids
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wont get shit gifts to open on the 24th! Look at all these dueche bags out
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there dressed in those stupid red suits, wouldn't you feel satisfied by actually
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killing one or all of them? I would, I personally find great personal
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satisfaction in killing of as many bastards in thpse suits as possible, and
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that's why I'm here... Share some personal experiences in killing of the Santa
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Clauses.
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Stretch a piano cord across the road between two telephone poles so when the
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bastard (Saint Nick) come flying by on a sleigh or a fire engine his head will
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come right off.
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Obtain a hand held land to air heat seaking missile, when he comes by, nuke
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the fuck to kingdome-come!
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Point a .45 caliber starting pistol at his head when he's in the mall and
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threaten to give him a massive vasectomy. Then fire and watch the fat shit have
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a heart attack!
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Put a gas burner on the bottom of your fire place.
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Put a shot gun on the bottom of your fire place attacked to the handle on the
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flew.
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Put a lot of oil on your roof and watch the fat shit try and land!
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Kick him off his sleigh in mid air.
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Put an altimeter bomb in his sleigh, so when he goes high enough it's bye-bye
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for the fuck.
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Loosen the blades on his sleigh when he trys to land, it's Santa all over the
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place.
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Sacrifice his reign deer.
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Bolt a rope to the roof of your house, and tie the other end to his sleigh.
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It's one fucked up sleigh when he gets moving.
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Run over him with a car when he lands on the road.
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Fire a fat-seeking missile at his sleigh in mid air.
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Have him arrested at night time for breaking and entering into your house.
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When he comes down the chiminey, smash him across the face with a metal base
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ball bat.
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Fire a flame thrower at him when he's a-comin down the chimney.
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Just remember when the old bastard comes---
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"You better not pout, you better not cry, Santa Claus is coming to town."
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---little does the fat shit know if he comes near my town he's gonna have the
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worst night of his life, not to mention the last.
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When all else fails, kill the fuck....
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>Outland>
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///\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\
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| Call the rest of the best--- |
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| Milliways 10Meg/BBS/AE/Catfur............................(609)/921-1994 |
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| Metalland I 10Meg/BBS/AE/Catfur..........................(503)/538-0761 |
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| Metal Works AE Pw:Rape...................................(313)/663-8103 |
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| Metal AE Pw:Kill.........................................(201)/879-6668 |
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| Mordar AE 10Meg Pw:Zandar...............................(201)/528-6467 |
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\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\///
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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