105 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
105 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
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(A brief bit of humor from the September, 1990, issue of ANALOG
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SCIENCE FICTION/SCIENCE FACT MAGAZINE)
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Are You Bored?
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In a Rut?
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Looking for a New Career?
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If so, we have the answer to your problems ...
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The Famous Hackers' School
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That's right, friends--the Famous Hackers' School! Now you
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can learn the ins and outs of Hacking in the comfort of your own
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home, as you prepare for your new career in this fast-growing hi-
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tech field.
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Just imagine the look on your friends' faces when they learn
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that you are a Certified Hacker! As a Hacker, you will be smug
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in the knowledge that no corporate computer system is safe from
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your talents. You'll be able to sleep late, and never have to
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worry about your bank balance again!
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Under the watchful eyes of our anonymous instructors--noted
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Hackers all--this correspondence course will teach you the finer
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points of password plundering, system access level boosting, data
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destruction, and electronic banking.
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And Famous Hackers' School offers something that no other
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school offers: backup career guidance. This special course
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module will show you how to turn your eventual arrest into a
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media event, a bestselling book, and a secure position as a
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computer security consultant!
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Just send fifty thousand dollars, and we'll rush your FHS
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starter kit to you via the fastest courier available. This jam-
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packed starter kit includes the following:
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* A deluxe 486 computer system, complete with 9600-bps modem
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and our proprietary "TeleHack" software package
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* A set of passwords to the major corporate computer systems
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you'll access during your studies
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* A twenty-gigabyte optical disk for storing looted data
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* A collection of timed viruses for your personal use
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* Official FHS membership card, recognized by bail-bondsmen
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the world over
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* A complete set of course manuals, cleverly disguised as
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obsolete operating system manuals
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Bonus! Send your money before Friday the 13th, and we'll
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throw in our famous "Build-a-Virus" kit, complete with two-page,
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illegible photocopied instruction sheet, at no extra charge!
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Get started as a Hacker today--and have more fun tomorrow!
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The Famous Hackers' School
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A Division of Bizarro Enterprises
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Our Motto:
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Nobody likes a hacker ...
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but that's okay, because they'll be sorry!
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Copyright, 1990, Michael A. Banks
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=============================================================
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BOOKS BY MICHAEL A. BANKS
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"If a technical thing is troubling you, just wait a bit.
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Michael Banks is probably writing a book that will make it
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clear." --The Associated Press
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Do you use DeskMate 3? Are you getting the most out of the
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program? To find out, get a copy of GETTING THE MOST OUT OF
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DESKMATE 3, by Michael A. Banks, published by
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Brady Books/Simon & Schuster, and available in your local
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Tandy/Radio Shack or Waldenbooks store now. Or, phone 800-624-
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0023 to order direct. (The all-new 2nd edition is now
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available!)
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"GETTING THE MOST OUT OF DESKMATE 3 is more than a guide to
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DeskMate; it's an enhancement..."--Waldenbooks Computer
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NewsLink
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Interested in modem communications? Check out THE MODEM
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REFERENCE, also by Michael A. Banks and published by Brady
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Books/Simon & Schuster. Recommended by Jerry Pournelle in Byte,
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The New York times, The Smithsonian Magazine, various computer
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magazines, etc. (Excerpts from this book accompany this file.)
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THE MODEM REFERENCE is available at your local B. Dalton's,
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Waldenbooks, or other bookstore, either in stock or by order.
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Or, phone 800-624-0023 to order direct. (1st edition currently
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available; all-new 2nd edition available in January, 1991!)
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"I definitely recommend it." --Jerry Pournelle, BYTE Magazine
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Want the lowdown on getting more out of your word processor?
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Read the only book on word processing written by writers, for
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writers: WORD PROCESSING SECRETS FOR WRITERS, by Michael A. Banks
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& Ansen Dibel (Writer's Digest Books). WORD PROCESSING SECRETS
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FOR WRITERS is available at your local B. Dalton's, Waldenbooks,
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or other bookstore, either in stock or by order. Or, phone 800-
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543-4644 (800-551-0884 in Ohio) to order direct.
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Other books by Michael A. Banks
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UNDERSTANDING FAX & E-MAIL (Howard W. Sams & Co.)
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THE ODYSSEUS SOLUTION (w/Dean Lambe; SF novel; Baen Books)
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JOE MAUSER: MERCENARY FROM TOMORROW (w/Mack Reynolds; SF novel; Baen Books)
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SWEET DREAMS, SWEET PRICES (w/Mack Reynolds; SF novel; Baen Books)
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COUNTDOWN: THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO MODEL ROCKETRY (TAB Books)
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THE ROCKET BOOK (w/Robert Cannon; Prentice Hall Press)
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SECOND STAGE: ADVANCED MODEL ROCKETRY (Kalmbach Books)
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For more information, contact:
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Michael A. Banks
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P.O. Box 312
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Milford, OH 45150
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