282 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
282 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
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Formatted in 80 columns - If you can't read it, too bad!
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/=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=\
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| The Birth of a Rodent! |
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| Written by: The Warlock Lord |
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| Metal Communications |
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\=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=/
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If you feel any offense, insult or a upset at this file in any way, then by
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all means, FUCK OFF AND DIE!!! You are a R0DENT! And now lets begin..
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As we all know, rodents don't materialize out of nowhere, they have to be born
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at some time. Well, amazingly enough, they all share the same date of birth!
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Read onward...
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Date of birth - 12/25/??
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========================
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'Twas the morning of Christmas and all thru the house, a creature was
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stirring, the little louse! The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
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and lo and behold! An Apple computer was there! (now starts the beginning of
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the end for us...)
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Little Johnny was overjoyed, he got his new toy. And that's all it was to
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this silly little boy. He now could play all the games he saw before, only now
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HE had a computer, and could get more.
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(enough of this stupid poem...)
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After giving up trying to play with "Renumber", he decides to plug in his
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Networker and call a board he saw a fellow "pirate" (and I use the term loosely)
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kawl. Living in Minniapolis, he decides to kawl The <urse. "Wowzee neeto!" he
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says, seeing the spinning kursor. He reads the new user logon "I hope U like my
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K-Kool modzzzz, and any of you rad piratezz make sure to post on the piratezz
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board. L8ron dudzzz"
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Well, he manages to get phreak access, partially because of his name (King
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Blotto jr. (he read Newsweek in his Daddies office)), and sees something
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new..... SPRINT CODEZZZZ!!!!! "Oh golly", he says, nearly wetting his pajamas,
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"I can kawl long distance!!". He immedietly logs off and tries to kawl long
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distance. He dials "3673266916177203600", no knowing you have to kawl a local
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dial-up for Sprint, and that you don't use a "1" for the number. Eventually, he
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asks his rad pirate pal, Doctor Who (another one...), how to use his codezz.
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So, he kawls the local dial-up. All of a sudden, in the middle of dialing, he
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hears a strange busy signal. He doesn't realize he's using a Networker with
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it's awesome pulse dialing. He kawls Doctor Who and realizes he has to use his
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phone with touchtone to dial. With that, he kawls Pirates Harbor. By pure luc
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k, he sees the number of K.A.O.S in the board list. Remembering seeing "Get Sm
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art" on WTBS cable channel reruns, he kawls.
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Simulation...
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-------------
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(*> Welcome to K.A.O.S. <*)
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Enter password or 'NEW'
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-->'NEW'
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Sure, he has brains. It's just that he's sitting on them....
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*Invalid password. Try Again*
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-->'NEW'
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After 6 or 7 tries, he is logged off becase he took too much time. So, he kawl
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s back...
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-->'NEW'
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By now, Max shows up and wonders who's the dumb fuck screwing around and goes
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into chat mode...
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Max: "Hey man, what's your problem?"
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A few seconds later, there comes a click from inside of Max's computer, and he
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sees...
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Lost Carrier - Rebooting
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Damn! Don't you hate that? Coward, that's all I can say for him.
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Well, our little r0dent get's onto Dragonfire and sees the AE list.
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He decides to kawl and see what they are. His screen goes blank (after spend-
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ing 3 1/2 hours redialing) and he sees "Entry:". 5 minutes later, the same
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thing "Entry:". By now the sysop comes in and sees this idiot just sitting
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there and goes into chat mode.
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Sysop:"What the fuck?? What's the big idea of tying up my line?"
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"Click"
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So much for King Blotto jr....
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He asks another rad pirate, Super Hacker, how to use AE lines. Super Hacker
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te lls him, and kawls an AE to show him how. So our little friend goes home and
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kawls an AE. He decides to kawl Connections I/O... He sees,
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"I/O.........." Needless to say, he remembers seeing "Entry" and thinks he
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kawled the wrong thing. Again, he asks Super Hacker what gives, and realizes
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that "entry:" can be changed. So, he kawls again. This time he types the
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password, "trekky". But the kursor doesn't move. He hangs up, thinking his
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modem doesn't work. Another kawl to Super Hacker. Again, he kawls. But some-
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thing is wrong. The screen is going crazy. Why? Could it have anything to do
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with the fact he is using the terminal program he found in his Networker box?
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Could be... Well, he asks Super Pirate again, gets AE Pro, and kawls. After 3
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hours, he gets thru. Now he sees "(>". Now what? Good question. Well, he
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types "?". At least he got that right. But that's where his streak ends. He
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sees the catalog...
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"Disk Volume 254"
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A 002 HELLO
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B 123 ULTIMA IV<0>
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B 123 ULTIMA IV<1>
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B 123 ULTIMA IV<2>
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B 033 ULTIMA IV<3>
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T 067 ULTIMA IV DOCS/APPLE BANDIT
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13 BLOCKS FREE
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(>
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Well? Now what? He wants Ultima. So, he goes for it...
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"S"
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"send:" ultima 4<0>
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no such file
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Good job! Try again...
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"Send:" Ultima iv<0>
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244 blocks
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ready to send
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ERR <CS 1-1>
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ERR <CS 2-2>
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ERR <CS 3-3>
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The dumb shit doesn't know enought to hit ctrl-q, g, and the filename. After
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20 minutes, he does it file <1>, then <2>. 2 hours later, he hangs up and
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looks at his disk catalog..
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DSR C^#254
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A 002 HELLO
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B 135 AE
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B 109 BDOS
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B 006 DDMOVER
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S 095 AE.HELP
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T 002 MACRO.FILE
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"Golly, where is Ultima??? I must have lost it over the line!"
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Well, the weeks go by..Johnny meets more rad piratezz, get new warezzz
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and finally learns how to use Ae. He kawls all over the place. Now he sees
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something interesting..
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T 002 AE/CATSEND 24HRS. 215-367-7739 40MEGS!
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"Wowzy neeto!". He hangs up and kawls. After logging on, he selects Catsend.
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He sees..
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"Welcome!"
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>>
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But his screen in in inverse! Something is wrong here! The sysop sees his
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screen in inverse, and goes into chat mode. But since the rodent is using
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AE Pro, the typing is a mess.
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"W&8'} He;os F04ivk },*5 yus]p' do82u7!i6/:=_
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Sure, you try and read that! Click! Well, another kawl to Super Hacker and
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he realizes ha can't kawl Catsend lines because he doesn't have an Apple Cat.
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(thank God for small favors!) So, he sticks to AE lines and boards. On the bo
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ard, he has his own style of message posting...
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(5 lines of spinning kursorz first...)
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"Man, is that kuhl or what?!?!?!?>!? Well, dudez, I have been trading with
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a lot of people, gettin' new warezzzzzz, and I gotta tell ya, there are some gr
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eat new warezz out! I got "Sabotage" yestebday. I kawled Hot Rod and
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asked him if he had it, and he said "No way! Are you serious???" It has to
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be new. Well, if ya want to trade, leave mail. L8R0N dudezzz!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[-=*^>King Blotto Jr.<^*=-]
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Masters of the Universe Pirates Guild
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It's a good thing King Blotto doesn't bother with the lower forms of
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boards, or he would skin this kid and hang him over his mantle!
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When kawling Ae lines, he is very consistent. Always download, never
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upload. They come straight home from school, sit down and spend the rest of
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the night in front of his toy. That's all it is, a toy. Rodents never
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associate with other people, except fellow losers in their super "elite" group.
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Forget weekends, they don't leave their seat. When they run out of disk space
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because they have new warezzzzz like Apple Panic, Ultima, and public domain
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software, he buys generic disks, $1.25 each, with 3 bad tracks each.
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By summer, school is over and he has all day to kawl Ae lines and leech
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warezzzz. By now, he developed into a full-fledged rodent. Here is an example
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of a message from our friend...
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Message Title: My latest warezzzzz!!!!!!!!!1!!!
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Message by: King Blotto jr.
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Date posted: Friday, June 15, 8:35 pm <-notice the time and date
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(3 or 4 lines od 3pinning kursorzzzz first)
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Like, dudezzz, what happening?????!?!? Has anyone seen the nu warezzz on the
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Ae linezzz??? They're k000000l!!!!! I got Sneakers, OO-topoos, Adventureland,
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and Cathacker 1.0!!!!!!!!!!11!! But my Cathacker is bad, cuzzz it won't work
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with my delux Networker. Duzz anyone know how to use Catsend? I can't get
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mine to work right. Also, kawl the UCLA loops, 213-206-2801. They're k0000ll
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ll!!1!!1! I wuzz on last night and talked to Line Breaker. He'z gonna let me
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in the NYSHII elite!!!!!1!! He%s^ 100 megs!!!! I don't need this shit-
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ass board no more. So fuck all of u!!!!!!1!!!
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L8ER0N Dudezzz
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[/-\King Blotto jr./-\]
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Masters of the Universe Elite
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NYSHII Elite
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(now the kursor goes back and forth about 30 times until we have a headache.)
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Given time, all l0zers and r0dents get thrown off boards, to the point
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where they are setting up boards for eachother to kawls and leech eachother.
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The result is nothing new gets circulated into their "elite" group. Every now
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and then, however, one gets by and looks like a good user. Sysops have to be
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aware of these guys, but they usually make a mistake and can be caught. Look
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close...
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Message Title: My Newest
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Message By: Black Wizard
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Date posted: Sunday, June 17, 4:26 pm. <-better than Blotto jr....
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The Ae lines have been quite busy, but they are loaded with a lot of stuff.
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Some of my newer acquisitions include...
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Archon
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Apple-Net BBS
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Newsroom
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Universe
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Copy II+ 5.0
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Any interested parties leave mail
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----=====>Black Wizard<=====----
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Co-Sysop - Masters of the Universe AE
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Almost! But he gave himself away!
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Well, that about ends this display in madness. I hoped you enjoyed it and got
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a good laugh out of it. If you didn't, then you must obviously be a R0DENT!
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Read the Real Pirates Guides (except v4) and learn something!
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The Warlock Lord - 4/3/85
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Metal Communications Inc.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Call these AE lines (if you can get thru to them....)
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503-538-0761 - PW: Metal -> Metalland AE
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201-528-6467 - PW: Zandar -> Mordor AE
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201-879-6668 - PW: Kill -> Metal AE
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818-706-2054 - PW: Harris -> Reality AE
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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