74 lines
3.0 KiB
Standard ML
74 lines
3.0 KiB
Standard ML
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------------
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Anarchy inc. -----------------
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------------ Proudly Presents:
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-----------------
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.:How to Properly Crank Call some poor fool:.
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Written by: ((.)) The Bullseye!
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Well, you will probally say, upon reading the title, that you already know
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how to crank call somebody. Not really...There are many different ways to
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crank call a person, mentioned below in several catagories.
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Why crank call a person, you might ask? Well, some people flat out deserve
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it. Like the tough kid in your class, or the kid with the parents who don't
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give a hang what the kid does...It's these kind of people that deserve what
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they get. I don't like crank calling people just because "They're
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ugly","They're a dork.", etc. Only crank call people if they deserve it, and
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if you want to have some serious fun.
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.:Silly stuff
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I don't like making silly crank calls. These are the childish ones like
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giggling into the fone, leaving harsh messages on people's answering machines,
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screaming and hanging up, or something else dumb. I don't waste my time with
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these, as you can get pinned for these most often.
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.:Scared?
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Well, I have several ideas on this subject. One of the most cruel, is "Check
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on the Baby!" or "Don't come out of the house!" or something nasty to that
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effect. My favorite conversion goes like this:
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Them: "Hello?"
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You: "Hello. My name is (Whatever) from 'S' & 'M' Industries, and we'd
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like to confirm your order of (whatever, usually sexual stuff.)
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that you phoned in last weekend."
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Them: "I did not!"
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You: (State their address, fone #, etc.) and say that the order has already
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gone through, and will arrive shortly, anytime from now, to six
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weeks.
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Them: "Gag."
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Use a calm speaking tone when doing this, and insist that they ordered it.
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It's such fun.
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For parents with kids who are real hell-raisers, call up and say that you are
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Officer (Whatever, use a real cop-name) and that their son has been picked up
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on charges of (Tresspassing, Indecent Exposure, Prostitution, or whatever) and
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they you'd like for the adult to come get the child. Really disrupts a
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household.
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.:Other things to do...
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Well, if you REALLY dislike somebody, call one of those 800(toll free)
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numbers, and order them something, C.O.D., of course...Something useless, like
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kitchen knives, 3-D Graphic Plotters, and other things.) This pisses people
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off, especially when you do it three times in a week.
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When you crank call, have guts. Don't just call up, scream "FUCK YOU!" and
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hang up. What you SHOULD do is call up, scream "FUCK YOU!" and wait for an
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answer...They usually hang up, which is a real pity. When they threaten to
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call the police, remember that this takes time. In this time, have fun!
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That's about it, or that's all that comes to mind at this point. Remember,
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you don't know where you got this information from, once again.
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((.)) The Bullseye [[.]]
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