123 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
123 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
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DEDICATED TO THE JACKAL...
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And, so, yes, Anarchy Inc & VOID have another text phile for all of you...
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VOID and the Connection
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Present......
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"Phun things to do to YOUR favourite teacher..." written by Princess Leia...
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So, you say school is getting you down? Your teacher is being a real
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bitch? Well, here are just a few phun things I have observed, most of which
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I have done...
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1. You can start as soon as you walk into class. late. When the teacher asks
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for an excuse, you tell her, "I was late because I wanted to miss the first
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half of class." Then sit down. This will drive your teacher more crazy than
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some wonderful lie...
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2. You say your teacher actually assigned you sentences? Do you think you are
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too old for them? Well, then, ask "May I use some of your scratch paper for
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them?" Most teachers will say, "Well, I guess so..." But, just in case, do
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not wait for a reply. Just walk over there and take the whole stack. Do
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your sentences say something like "I will behave in class"? Well, then, write
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"I" on the first page. Set it aside. Write "will" on the second page. And
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so on, until you finish all of your sentences and/or run out of paper and/or
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your hand starts to fall off. Then turn in the whole stack and walk away.
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3. So, now that you've been yelled at, the teacher tells you "Go sit down".
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Well, this is the absolute best opportunity to bug the teacher. Calmly walk to
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the teacher's chair, sit down, put your feet up on the desk, and lean back.
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The teacher will most likely glare at you and say "get back to your seat!", at
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which point, calmly reply, "You just told me to sit down, so I did." Then,
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start taking the rubber bands that are on the desk and flick one at the
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aforementioned teacher. Preferably hide the referral slips before doing this.
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4. Another real fun trick, which works best with a whole bunch of people, is
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to have a party, without getting the teacher's ok first. Some teachers are so
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dense that you can actually plan this party IN CLASS. Anyway, delegate
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people to bring items in, including party horns and the whole bit. Then, on
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the day of the party, everyone just kicks back and, well, parties...The
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poor teacher is usually so shocked that he/she will not know what to do, and
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yet another period of class time is wasted.
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5. Then. of course, for those of us unlucky enough to have a "Closed Campus",
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there is the traditional "Cutting of Lunch". A Closed Campus is a dumb idea
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anyway. What on Earth are you going to learn by being at school for lunch?
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Anyway, a group of people (One of them MUST have a car!) simply waits until
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the Teacher standing guard is not looking. Everyone then dashes to the
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parking lot, and hops in the car. Then, slowly and quietly start the car &
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then take off! The poor teacher will be left there screaming "hey! Get
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back here!!"
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6. Does your teacher make consistent bad jokes? Well, then rate them!
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Give everyone in the class 10 signs reading from 1-10 and every time the
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teacher cracks a joke, simply hold up the card, rating the teacher. The
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only thing that should get a rating above 3 is if the teacher drops some-
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thing, staples himself, or does some other unintentional funny act. (This
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was told to me by The Gemini Daredevil) A variation of this is to bring in
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a gong, and gong every bad joke the teacher makes. I have a science teacher
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who is very fond of joking. And that usually silences him. But only for
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a moment.
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7. When you are forced to read out loud in English, are you told to "speak
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up"?? Well, when told that, simply *YELL* out the words as loud as humanly
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possible...
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8. Yet another phun thing to do is, on cue, everyone drops their books at
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the same time. This really drives the teacher insane. Before entering
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class, just say "OK, at 10:00 exactly, everyone drop their books". And then
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go for it.
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9. Is your teacher a bit on the old side? Well, this trick takes planning,
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timing, and a good straight face. The plan is to make the teacher think he/
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she is going deaf. First of all, a student comes up and screams in this
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teacher's ear. Then, the room goes silent. Someone raises their hand. The
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teacher will probably call on them. This student then starts to ask a
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question, not making a sound, but simply moving his mouth. Meanwhile, some
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of the other students begin to hqve silent conversations, again lip-synching
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them. If there is a TV in the room, turn the volume all the way down & then
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turn it on. Continue to ask lip-synched questions of the teacher. Pretend
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to yell. By now the teacher will be going absolutely mad! Then, at a signal,
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suddenly everyone shouts as *LOUD* as they can. This will so shock the
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teacher he will be out of it for the next week.
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10. Ah, yes, but now we come to my final and most phun trick to play! You
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say your teacher has left the room? And left the keys in the room? Well,
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everyone picks up their stuff and leaves. The lights are turned off and
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the door is *LOCKED*. The students then vanish, go visit friends, cut
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class completely, or hang around to watch. You will watch the poor helpless
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teacher come striding up, turn the knob and...stop. He will look a bit
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sheepish as he turns the knob harder. Then he will quietly knock on the
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door. Then he will knock louder. After this being to no avail, he will
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seek out yet another teacher who has the key to the room. Watch his look
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of surprise when he opens the door jubilantly and finds..............nothing!
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...Well, there you have it, 10 ways to drive teachers insane. Thanks to
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some creative Piedmont Hills High and Fremont High students.
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...This has been a Connection Presentation (Subdivision:VOID department) in
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cooperation with Rebel Alliance Industries...
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...Presented in full by Princess Leia Organa...C)1984 No rights reserved!
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<*> Call the Death Star! New Modz! <*>
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408-268-4630
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<*> ...The Twilight Zone...<*>
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408-253-2140
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...fare thee well...
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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_ ___ _ the _ _ __ P>rogressive U>nderground
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And as this textfile | ||__ \ | | | | | ||_ \ D>issidents
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the place to get more | | | |___| | | | _/ / 20 Megs of TextFiles
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like it.. |_| \_____/ |_||__/ SysOp: Mr. Pez
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