61 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
61 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
|
Released to the media after Dr. thompson was exonerated on various sex and
|
||
|
|
weapons crimes:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
WOODY CREEK COLORADO, May 31, 1990- Famed Gonzo journalist Dr. Hunter S.
|
||
|
|
Thompson waves to a frezied mob of his supporters at yesterday's press
|
||
|
|
conference on the steps of the Pitkin County Courthouse. . . where all charges
|
||
|
|
on Sex, Drugs, Bombs and violence crimes against the doctor were dissmissed
|
||
|
|
with prejudice by district court judge Charles Buss, who called Thompson "a
|
||
|
|
perfect gentleman" and excoriated the district attorney for negligence,
|
||
|
|
malfeasance and criminal abuse of police power. Spectators aplauded as dept.
|
||
|
|
district attorney Chip "shiteyes" McCrory wept openly at the verdict and was
|
||
|
|
led from the courtroom by bailiffs.
|
||
|
|
Thompson denounced the dissmissal as "pure cowardice" and said he would
|
||
|
|
"appeal it at once" to the Colorado supreme court.
|
||
|
|
Thompson descirbed the District attorney's "whole goddamn staff" as "thugs
|
||
|
|
liars crooks" and "lazy human scum . . . These stupid brutes tried to destroy
|
||
|
|
my whole life" he said, "and now they tell me to just forget it."
|
||
|
|
"Fuck that!" he screeched. "They are guilty! They should be hung up by
|
||
|
|
their heels from iron telephone poles on the road to woody creek!"
|
||
|
|
The crowd roared and surged forward, chanting "Yes! Now! Hang them now!"
|
||
|
|
A man with a pitchfork rushed up the ancient stone steps and attemped to
|
||
|
|
enter the courthouse, but he was hurled away by Thompson, who blocked the
|
||
|
|
doorway and told the crowd to "be calm."
|
||
|
|
"Not now!" he shouted. "Not today! But soon! Yes! We will PUNISH them!
|
||
|
|
We will chop off their fingers and gnaw on their sculls and feed their flesh to
|
||
|
|
our animals!"
|
||
|
|
The crowd responded by ripping up trees in the courtyard and hammering
|
||
|
|
crazily on the hoods of nearby police cars. "Death to the weird," they howled.
|
||
|
|
"They shall not pass! PUNISH them!" At this point Dr. Thompson was seized from
|
||
|
|
behind by his two high-powered attorneys and rushed to a waiting car, which
|
||
|
|
departed at high speed.
|
||
|
|
Later from his heavily guarded fortress called "Owl Farm," Thompson's
|
||
|
|
lawyers issued a statement that called him "a hero, a saint . . . and the
|
||
|
|
bravest man in America. . . . Dr. Thompson is a great poet," they said, "who
|
||
|
|
often speaks in apocalyptic terms.
|
||
|
|
"His comments earlier today about Death, Cannablism, and Vengeance should
|
||
|
|
not be construed in any way as a threat to the physical safety of any living
|
||
|
|
thing."
|
||
|
|
The statement was hailed by the press as "further proof that Dr. Thompson
|
||
|
|
should be awarded the Nobel Prize for peace."
|
||
|
|
"The Doctor will have no further comment on The Case," his attorneys said,
|
||
|
|
"for legal reasons stemming from his $22 million civil lawsuit against the
|
||
|
|
district attorney's office, which will be formally filed next week."
|
||
|
|
Later that night, however, the restive Gonzo journalist issued a mysterious
|
||
|
|
"personal statement" that local authorities called "very gracious, very
|
||
|
|
strange, and very bloodthirsty all at once."
|
||
|
|
He spoke of "a historical mandate," citing mysterious blood feuds. He
|
||
|
|
refused to talk about his rumored blood relationship to Gengis Khan, Cassius
|
||
|
|
Clay, John Gotti, and other legendary warriors.
|
||
|
|
"But you forget, I am Lono. I am He. When the great bell rings I will be
|
||
|
|
there."
|
||
|
|
Thompson refused to elaborate on his claim to be Someone Else, and his
|
||
|
|
aides brusquely turned aside press queiries. Reporters who persisted were
|
||
|
|
roughed up by burly "advisors" wearing bulletproof vests and "Owl
|
||
|
|
Farm/Security" badges. One TV journalist, who begged not to be named, said he
|
||
|
|
was taken to "a cistern somewhere in the compound" and forced to strip naked
|
||
|
|
while standing knee-deep in "ice cold water rushin up from an underground
|
||
|
|
river." For "many hours," he said, he was tormented by drunken lawyers and
|
||
|
|
mocked by what appeared to be naked women.
|
||
|
|
|