88 lines
3.7 KiB
Standard ML
88 lines
3.7 KiB
Standard ML
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Bill of Rights Lite
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Amendment I
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Congress shall encourage the practice of Judeo-Christian religion by
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its own public exercise there of, and shall make no laws abridging the
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freedom of responsible speech (unless such speech is in a digital form or
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contains material that is copyrighted, classified, proprietary or offensive
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to non-Europeans, non-males, differently abled or alternativley prefferenced
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persons), or the right of people to peaceably assemble (unless such assembly
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takes place on corporate or military property or within an electronic
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environment), or to petition the government for redress of grievances (unless
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such grievances relate to national security).
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Amendment II
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A well-regulated militia having become irrelevant to the security of a free
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state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms against one another
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shall remain uninfringed (excepting such arms as may be afforded by the
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poor or those prefferred by pushers, terrorists and organized criminals
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which shall be banned).
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Amendment III
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No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the
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owners consent, unless that house is thought to have been used for the
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distrabution of illegal substances.
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Amendment IV
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The right of the people to be secure in thier persons, houses, papers, and
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the effects against unreasonable searches and seizures many be suspended
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to protect public welfare. Upon the unsupported suspicion of law enforcement
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officials, any place or conveyance shall be subject to immediate search, and
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any such places or conveyances, or property within them may be permanently
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confiscated without further judicial proceeding.
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Admendment V
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Any person may be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous involving
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illicit substances, terrorism or upon any suspicion whatever, and may be
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subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb (once
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by the state courts, once by the Federal judiciary), and may be compelled by
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various means (including the forced submission of breath samples, bodily
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fluids, or encryption keys) to be a witness against himself, refusal to do so
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constituting an admission of guilt, and may be deprived of life, liberty,
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or property without furthor legal delay, and any private property thereby
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forfieted shall be dedicated to the discretionary use of the law-enforcement
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agents without just compensation.
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Amendment VI
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In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to speedy
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and private plea-bargaining before entering a plea of guilty. The accused
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is entitled to the assistance of underpaid and indifferent counsel to
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negotiate his sentence, except where such sentence falls under manitory
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sentencing requirements.
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Amendment VII
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In suits at common law where the contesting parties have nearly unlimited
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resources to spend on legal fees the right to trial by jury shall be
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preserved
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Amendment VIII
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Sufficient bail may be required to ensure that dangerous criminals will
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remain in custody, where cruel and unusual punishments are ussually inflicted.
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Amendment IX
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Teh enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed
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to deny or disparage other that may be retained bt the government to preserve
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public order, family values, or national security.
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Amendment X
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The powers not delgated to the United States by the Constitution are reserved
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for to the departments of Justice and Treasury, except when the states are
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willing to forsake Federal financing.
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Written by John Perry Barlow, a lyricist for the Gratefull Dead and cofounder
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of the EFF. First printed by the New York Times and then re-printed by
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Playboy magazine.
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