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<20> IceNEWS is an independent newsletter published monthly as a service to <20>
<20> IceNET, its Sysops and users. The opinions & reviews expressed herein <20>
<20> are the expressed views of the respective writers. All Rights Reserved.<2E>
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
<20> April In This Month's Issue of IceNEWS Volume 2 <20>
<20> 1993 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Issue 3 <20>
<20> <20>
<20> Feature Articles <20>
<20> Evolution of Networking - Filo......................... 1@2051 <20>
<20> BBSes and Child Pornography - Chromatic Dragon......... 1@6981 <20>
<20> <20>
<20> Technical Department <20>
<20> Hacking WWIV Software - Ima Moron...................... 1@9661 <20>
<20> Converting Doors To Run Under WWIV - Avon.............. 1@5802 <20>
<20> <20>
<20> Software Department <20>
<20> Registering Shareware - Martin......................... 1@6257 <20>
<20> What Is OS-2? - Eremos................................. 1@2800 <20>
<20> BBS Utilities I Can't Do Without - Kid................. 1@9403 <20>
<20> To Cripple, Or Not To Cripple - Spammer................ 2@7676 <20>
<20> <20>
<20> User's Forum <20>
<20> The Initiation of a New User - Ima Moron............... 1@9661 <20>
<20> The Importance of Voice Validating New Callers <20>
<20> - Jack Ryan......................................... 1@6100 <20>
<20> User's Poll Question - The Fez......................... 2@7653 <20>
<20> <20>
<20> Humor Department <20>
<20> Bob's Guide to Power Posting - Alpine Bob.............. 1@7416 <20>
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ĵ
<20> Editors: Spelunker #1 @7653 and The Fez #2 @7653 <20>
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F E A T U R E A R T I C L E S
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<EFBFBD> Chaotic Patterns or Global Architecture? <20>
<EFBFBD> Evolution of Networking <20> By: Filo (1@2051)
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Have you seen those "trick" pictures -- the ones that when viewed at
a normal distance look like a Rorschach test, but when viewed at a greater
distance look like a woman in front of a mirror or some other very observable
picture? If so, you may have something of the perspective on the many
networks that now seem to be springing up each day. Being so near to them
and to their nascent development may cause us to fail to perceive the global
architecture surrounding them.
Networking in WWIV is a new phenomenon when viewed against the
development of the world, for it is only seven years old. Multiple networks in
WWIV that are capable of communicating with each other easily, gating e-mailed
messages (NET32) and subs (NET32 and v4.22), are developments that are only a
few months old. With this development in the software, many fledgling networks
have come into existence. These new networks are somewhat like alligator eggs.
The female alligator lays 30 to 40 eggs; most of which will not hatch into
alligators due to being broken, being found by predators, or being eaten by
other alligators. Many of our current networks will, like those eggs, never
mature into full- grown networks.
In my opinion, we are unlikely to see the emergence of more than 3 more
general interest, full-service, WWIV-based networks in the USA during the next
ten years unless we have significant growth in WWIV usage. On a world-wide
basis, I believe that we will see several more "national" networks evolve
during that period. It is not at all difficult for me to imagine rather large
WWIV-based networks developing rapidly in Europe, Asia and possibly Mexico.
Those areas have the economies to support rather wide-spread computer usage
and with that will come a share of Bulletin Board usage and interest in
Networks.
At the same time, I think we will see numerous small networks survive as
well. I believe that in time those small networks that succeed will do so for
primarily one of two reasons. I would like to examine those reasons in turn.
First, some networks will survive and perhaps grow and prosper because
they have chosen to specialize in some particular area of interest. The
concept of "networking" in the sense of developing support groups is very
popular in our society and is apt to become even more important in our social
structure. We have only to look around us at various groups that have emerged
and prospered as a result of interest in common problems: The Sierra Club,
Single Parent Groups, Alcoholics Anonymous, Battered Wives Associations,
Mothers Against Drunk Drivers; and those who share an interest in common
subjects: motorcycles, skiing, bridge, flowers, stamp collectors, etc.
These shared interests could be the basis for a small network that wishes
to specialize in a particular topic. They will meet the needs of a special
interest group that does not care to be bothered with other general aspects
that might be offered on a network. If we examined the volume of traffic on
any given day on all networks regarding certain topics, we could find a
sufficient body of posts to have a network devoted just to that idea. For
example, Star Trek and its various aspects (Original, New Generation, etc)
exists on most major networks in WWIV as well as in FidoNet and InterNet. Just
that subject matter alone, if combined across all of those networks, would
exceed the daily volume of posts on any single WWIV-based networks and would
probably come close to rivaling a day's volume on FidoNet (20,000+ nodes
excluding "points").
Some of these shared interests will also, I hope, arise among
professionals who want to share their views and discuss their problems just as
we currently do as Sysops facing some common problem. I can easily see how a
network of accountants, for example, could provide benefits to the profession
as a whole. In fact, many of the large accounting firms are actually "buying"
time on CompuServe and other such pay-for-use networks in order to avail
themselves of electronic mail capacity. If one of our larger networks were
to be able to provide that same service to some large firm and to receive
financial support for doing so, it could vastly improve the number of nodes
it services and the quality of its connections.
In short, the area of specialized networks will be one which I think will
insure survival for some networks. This does not mean, of course, that I think
all "speciality" networks will survive, but merely that I think we will see
some of these grow fairly large, survive, and prosper to maturity.
The second reason that I think some networks will survive is based on
economics. For example, I see on many of our networks that the administrators
often complain of the large "turnover" rate among new boards started by
younger sysops. Again, I am not saying that younger sysops do not provide
stability to the network, for some of them are among the best sysops that we
can find anywhere. What I am saying is that of those who join a network, stay
a few weeks and drop out, the incidence of youthful sysops is high.
One reason for the high dropout or turnover among younger sysops in
particular is related to the cost of networking. Many young sysops can neither
afford the cost of LD connections nor the shared costs of such connections
when done as part of a "hub." Currently these young sysops are often "forced"
to leave networks merely because they cannot pay their fair share. However,
many of the sysops who participate in shared cost situations would, in my
opinion, be willing to allow those younger sysops to obtain any sub that was
already coming into the area (for the cost would not increase). What is often
feared is that a "free" connection to a hub will order an immense number of
new subs and thus drive up the cost of networking.
Enter the small network as a means of solving the "economic" crises!
One way for a "hub" or a single individual calling out for LD to have some
protection against local connections ordering "new" subs is to have those
local connections organized as a small local network and gate to them those
subs which the caller would take anyway. Such a situation would provide the
"security" required by the LD carrier and yet would permit the smaller local
net to operate completely, sharing local stuff and obtaining some LD subs.
Such a small local network would essentially allow the members to obtain some
of the benefits associated with a FidoNet "point." This type of small local
network seems to me to be a WIN-WIN situation.
Our own recent experiences with multiple WWIV-based networks is similar
to what has occurred and is still occurring on FidoNet. FidoNet has split
several times and has had its splinter networks (AlterNet, EggNet, EgoNet,
BBSnet, etc.). Some have survived; some have not. During the entire process,
FidoNet itself continues to grow and prosper. Its status as an accepted domain
in UseNet and InterNet has also helped it to grow. I think the day will come
soon when WWIV-based networks will become domains in FidoNet and eventually in
UseNet and InterNet. (BTW, there is already a WWIV domain in UseNet but it is
relatively unknown and remains small).
The global pattern is that communications will increase among nations
and peoples of the earth. The necessity for the rapid acquisition of knowledge
and the exchange of information between people will add to the number of
persons using our networks and will insure the survival of a few general
purpose networks as well as a large number of small, specialized networks
serving both informational and economic needs. As the world shrinks into a
"global village" and as the standard of living improves world-wide, networks
will be the beneficiaries of much growth provided that we learn to live with
one another without sysop wars, flaming each other, etc.
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<EFBFBD> BBSes and Child Pornography <20> By: Chromatic Dragon (1@6982/1@6981)
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There has been a lot of talk about the electronic pornography issue
recently, and I would like to share my views with you on them. First, there
is a proliferation of electronic pornography available today. Most recently,
we saw the FBI conduct a sting operation on an international ring of child
pornographers.
I believe its clear to all that Child Pornography has no decent place in
our society, as it promotes further sexual abuse of children. We owe it to the
dignity of our hobby and in some cases, our professions, to discourage people
guilty of promoting this unacceptable behavior. There has been considerable
debate over the right to own "data", regardless of what that data may be. I
disagree with this view point. Are we to guard the freedom of speech and
expression to the exclusion of Children's rights? Are we to ignore the
heinous crimes committed against many children each year, so we can say "Its
our right to speak and express ourselves as we see fit"? I say those freedoms
are meaningless if we are unable to secure the safety of our children from
society's sexual predators.
We ignore the forest for the trees. We place blinders on and concentrate
on our right to free expression, but we disregard the very fundamentals of
a decent society. Although the expectations for our society are varied and
diverse, we should easily reach common ground in regards to basic violations
of decency. Today the term "decency" raises the ire of many people because
they interpret the word as an infringement on their right to make choices.
I say we better our chances of freedom by making a stand against what we know
is wrong, instead of protecting it under the blanket of free speech.
Censorship is the antithesis of the System Operator's credo, but as in
all cases there are exceptions to the rule. We would hold up to better legal
scrutiny and further enhance our freedom of expression if we were to police
ourselves, instead of turning that responsibility over to the government.
Think of it as a chance to buffer ourselves from the attentions of regulating
authorities, by maintaining the appearance that we have common goals, and that
we too have limits to our tolerance.
Some say that if you start with Child Pornography, it will lead to other
sacrifices in communication. In my view, I believe nothing could be further
from the truth because we remove all possible confliction and points of
contention before the government has the chance to. By establishing a clear
foundation of common decency, you convey a common ground with those outside
our community.
Child Pornography presents a ripe opportunity for System Operators all over
the world to unite and declare themselves unworthy of government regulation,
by assisting authorities in discouraging Child Pornography within our
community. Those people who choose to pursue this decadent subject, are
undeserving of our protection within our bastions of Free Speech. Lets make a
clear message to all that we do not tolerate nor condone the abuse of our
children.
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T E C H N I C A L D E P A R T M E N T
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<EFBFBD> Hacking WWIV Software <20> By: Ima Moron (1@9661)
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Long ago in a WWIV version not heard of by most sysops there was a
security loophole that would allow a user to upload a batch file then execute
that file while online. The days of the archive section loophole are over, Mr.
Bell has incorporated protection routines in WWIV since version 4.20e. In
earlier versions of WWIV some sysops locked out the archive section of the
BBS, others limited user access to the files section or created a BBS where
the entire user list was made up of close friends.
Today WWIV is written with string scans that watch for DOS redirects, the
redirect being the most likely way for a hacker to reach the system and with
that accomplishment delete a directory. Other methods of batch madness have
been screened by limiting DOS calls from the comport. On the subboards all
messages are systems routed to the display, this being the second interrupt
after the system function checks the output source. An improper call from the
wrong interrupt would cause your DOS to drop to protected systems mode, at
which time you'll see something like;
Call to protected systems area of DOS:
A)llow, D)elete to reboot
Your display may vary, however this is a definite signal that indicates a
hack attempt. I've sat behind my monitor and watched a user do this to my BBS
twice before I deleted his account and added his handles to my trashcan.txt
file. Between WWIV and DOS you should be well protected with a modern AT and
a well made modem. I mention modems here because some modems when initiated
improperly will allow a user to put your BBS modem into the command mode
remotely. This wouldn't allow the hacker to drop you to DOS, however he can
jam your BBS by doing this and if he's smart he can lock up your BBS until
you catch onto the fact that your init string has been reset.
WHAT TO DO..?
Don't be so easy going when the same user was the last logon and you find
your computer at protected systems. If it happens twice I'd suggest that you
delete the clown, because if you don't your BBS may become a proving ground
for hackers methods. I've called a local BBS and have seen a file of WWIV
hacking techniques available for download. Now I don't know about your area,
but here in Northern California the FCC will prosecute a hacker, and if
necessary they hunt the jerk down for you. If you need help ask your Sheriff.
By far the most covert method of hacking a BBS is by the trojan horse file
method. This is an attractively titled file that contains an executable or
command file that will delete a directory or virus the system. Of the trojan
horse files the most deadly is is the ansic bomb type. This type of file
utilizes the ansic capability of PKWARE in an attempt to reset the interrupts
then calls an executable or com file hidden in the ZIP which is not compressed
but stored. Now I know that some of the experts are going to disagree with me,
but one careless act with a loaded ansi and your files are history. PKWARE
INC. allows for download an anti ansic bomb file named PKSFANSI.COM. This is a
terminate and stay resident utility from the PK people, I'd suppose that they
know what they are doing and you could probably rely on this program for most
bomb situations. I have a copy of this, from the PKWARE manual; PKSFANSI.COM -
PKSFANSI (PK Safe ANSI) is a terminate and stay resident program that disables
ANSI keyboard key reassignments, thereby preventing "ANSI Bombs" embedded in
any text file (such as read.me files) or output by any program. Normally ANSI
sequences that redifine the KB could be hidden inside of ANY text file or
program, and could be executed completely unnoticed until it's to late.
PKSFANSI intercepts calls to the ansi.sys or other ANSI device drivers, and
filters out any keyboard reassignments while allowing other ANSI sequences
through unaltered.
That is what you get when you register that PKWARE compression utility.
I personally rely on FluShot+ which I bought for the astounding price of
$29.95. I'm glad I spent the money because as I was fooling around with some
undocumented command utilities this program sent me the following message;
SWITCH.EXE - is attempting to infect drive C: with the
PLO- or Jerusalem virus.
Remember where I and the experts disagreed? Right here, this PLO virus
was spread across 40 plus utilities and switch.exe was the trigger for the
virus. Fortunately FLUSHOT also does a file checksum and scans the environment,
that saved me from the TSR part of the PLO. The experts call this a stealth
approach to virus a system. Well I knew that every now again a sysop would
receive a little strange file from someone. Now I've heard that Central Point
Software has a nice little package that both interrupts those nasty direct
file writes and scans the existing files for a byte checksum change, I'm not
sure because I only have word of mouth information about the product.
I really think that the product to purchase is the one that interrupts the
offending program before that bug makes it to disk, and that method will work
so long as you the sysop won't skip through the warning screen messages when
you are unzipping a new upload.
Now I know that some of you expected someone to type out the how to of
making an ansi bomb, or perhaps show how to utilize a DOS redirect from the
ansi comment of a zip. The reason I won't do that was in this article, that
paragraph where I said that I'd found a file about hacking WWIV BBSs. One of
us in our zeal to be informative would post the directions and then there
would be an outbreak of ansi bombs and ansic trojans all over the US.
Not to leave anybody out of the game, I'll mention that McAffee and
Associates make a scanning utility called scan.exe and clean.exe. These are
two utilities that locate and clean off a virus. I'm not in total agreement
with McAffee's methods, but I'm not an expert at anti virus methods. Being
fooled is part of the hacking game, and download protocols made for v32 modems
can drop you to protected systems. Protocols can also dump your active hayes
command set and cause the modem to go crazy. You may not be hacked, but some
user's rear might be in your ringer because of his name placement in the
sysop's log. The problem here might actually be that your memory managers are
set for extended memory use and your protocol is switched to directly access
the expanded memory. The page frame request here is different, and this might
cause the drop to protected systems by DOS. Would you know if a user was
handing you an excuse after a hacking attempt or would you realize that your
software installation caused the drop to protected systems?
If you like the article you will find me located 1@9661 WWIVNET &
ICENET if you disagree with my article please write and tell me.
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<EFBFBD> Converting Doors To Run Under WWIV <20> By: Avon (1@5802)
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Doors, gotta love them! Yeah right! On Sanctuary, I place many doors
on-line so that other sysop's may see them in operation. I just spent over
$500 in registration fees for the better ones. Now whether users will
appreciate this remains to be seen. But back to the subject at hand.
You call a board and see a door there that you like, but the system you
are calling is not a WWIV system, well you have several options, one, write
the author of the door and ask that he make it WWIV compatible. Two, go take
a course in "C" or Pascal and write a look alike for WWIV. Or Three, find a
way to interface the files.
Luckily, thanks to several programs, there is a way to do the third way,
and do it easily. Two programs that I have tried have been Door Kit and Door
Master, both of them are very good programs, I prefer Door Master, and will be
registering the software as soon as I get my new printer.
What these programs do is convert chain.txt to the equivalent file that
the door uses. Say the door you wish to use is written for WildCat, this can be
tricky. First you need to know which version of WildCat is being used. Versions
1 & 2 of WildCat utilize a CALLINFO.BBS file which serves the function of
WWIV's CHAIN.TXT. With WildCat V.3 the filename was changed to DOOR.SYS, that
had to make some people happy, NOT!
Once you know what file is needed for your Non-WWIV door to work,
thoroughly read the docs for the door converter program. I have found the
command lines are usually quite simple for example, Door Master, the command
line to convert CHAIN.TXT to DOOR.SYS is "dm /f=wwiv /t=wc3". This will
convert CHAIN.TXT to DOOR.SYS. If you wish the file to be placed in the same
directory as the door, the you would use a command line similar to this one
"dm/f=wwiv /t=wc3 /dp=c:\wwiv\chains\door" Now, let's look at Chain Edit.
A.) Description : This is the name of the Door obviously
B.) Filename : This is the name of the batch file you are using to execute
the door
C.) SL : Security Level, This can be what ever you decide is best
for your system's needs
D.) AR : You can restrict who has access to your doors by using AR's
E.) ANSI : I usually set this to optional, unless the door clearly
states ansi is necessary.
F.) DOS Interrupt: NOT USED!!! If the door is not written for WWIV, then it
cannot use WWIV's interface for DOS Interrupts. Some games
will function if you use the WWIV to intercept the DOS
calls, but will hang when door is exited, so DO NOT USE.
G.) 300 baud : Your Decision
H.) Shrink : If you only have 640k of memory, then more than likely this
should be yes. If the door uses a lot of ANSI, then say yes.
I.) Disable Pause: Always, never could figure out why Wayne put a pause in the
chains area.....
J.) Local : Again, your call.
Here is a sample batch file, this one is for a Fresh Water Fishing
Simulator, pretty simple, huh?
@echo off
dm /f=wwiv /t=rbbs
cd\wwiv\chains\fish
cd\wwiv
Now, this one for Melee is a bit more difficult because it requires a
fossil driver to function properly.
@echo off
dm /f=wwiv /t=qbbs /* Command line for Door Master */
cd\wwiv\chains\melee
bnu /p:1 /f+ /m+ /* Command Line for Fossil Driver */
melee /* Command line for the Door */
bnu /u /* Command line for Fossil when game is finished */
cd\wwiv
If you are having difficult with converting a door, please by all means
drop me a line and I will see if I can help you out!
Avon, Sysop of Sanctuary, IceNET 1@5802, WWIVnet 1@5813, WWIVweb 1@1
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S H A R E W A R E D E P A R T M E N T
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<EFBFBD> Registering Shareware <20> By: Martin (1@6257)
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In the last eight years or so that I've been BBSing there has been a
huge increase in the amount, and quality, of freely distributable programs
available to computer users. I suppose a lot of people take it for granted
that there will always be great programs available on the BBSs they call,
but it hasn't always been so.
When I first starting calling bulletin boards in 1984 a typical file
would probably have been 20K or less in size. A game might have consisted
of a crudely drawn graphics screen with a sprite or two moving across its
background. And I don't recall many real utility programs other than those
that organized a directory listing or sped up a disk format.
Many of the limitations found in freely distributable programs were
certainly due to the limited power of the 8 bit computers in use at the time.
Computers typically came with 48K or 64K of memory. They were capable of
displaying, for example, 40 columns and 25 rows and could display 16 different
colors (out of a possible 256) at a given time. If a person was lucky enough
to be able to afford it, disk drives were available that stored an amazing
180K on each disk. These disk drives, though, often cost more than the
computers they went with. Modems were universally 300 baud add-ons that the
general public knew even less about than they did computers.
In the early eighties most of the programs legally available on computer
bulletin boards were those that had been released into the public domain by
the owners of the programs. People made no money off programs released into
the public domain; these programs were released for the good of the general
public.
Public domain programs, from what I recall, were generally fairly simple
programs that didn't take the resources of a software development house to
create. These programs were useful, entertaining and interesting, but they
never even came close to rivaling the programs that were sold by the software
companies. I am convinced that this is because people writing freely
distributable programs did not have the resources to create programs that
would take weeks, months or years to write.
By way of contrast, the programs legally available on BBSs today often
equal, or even exceed, the programs available through commercial outlets. We
have text editors, DOS shells, terminal programs, games, etc., etc., and so
on. We even have a computer Bulletin Board program, written in C, to which
registered users get the source code!
Anyone who has used Telix, who's played Wolfenstein 3D, or who's run a WWIV
BBS knows that there are Shareware programs available on local BBSs that are
well worth the money spent registering them. And I am certain that it is the
concept of Shareware that is to a great extent responsible for these programs
having been written and released to the public in the first place.
For those who aren't familiar with the concept, Shareware is basically a
way for software authors to get their products into the hands of the general
public directly - without going through middle persons (Hey, what can I say.
I'm living in Minnesota, the land of the politically correct!). The theory is
that by having the link directly between author and end user software can be
had for a fraction of the cost paid at retail outlets.
The question is: "Is it worth paying the price to register Shareware?"
I guess this question could be answered in any number of different ways; I'll
only mention two of them.
For those looking to see how much can be had for nothing the answer is
more than likely "No". In a large percentage of instances Shareware programs
can be used with no significant drawbacks by those who have not registered
them. A person can play the first level of some Shareware games for hours
and days, can run a very successful BBS, can hook up to those BBSs with an
unregistered terminal program, and never send in a dime to the people who
have made these things possible.
I am guilty of this myself. I've used Qedit for years and have found it to
be indispensable and have gotten so used to the nag screen that I don't even
notice it any more. Yeah, right. The fact is, I do notice it; I simply haven't
sent in a registration fee for it. I believe in the concept of Shareware and
have registered somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 dozen programs and
utilities. Qedit is just one of those that is still on my "to register" list.
I haven't paid the author for my use of the program yet, but I'd sure hate to
have to try and get along without it.
Which brings me to the main reason for my belief that Shareware is worth
the money spent on registration fees aside from the obvious moral reasons.
Those registration fees are the lifeblood of Shareware. They are a way for the
people who spent their time, their money, their blood sweat and tears, on
their products to get their fair rewards. And without the motivation to write
quality programs many, maybe even most, Shareware authors would stop writing
and releasing their products to the public. And I doubt anyone would ever want
to return to the measly offerings found on computer bulletin boards in the
early days. I sure know I wouldn't. In light of all this, what's my answer to
the question of whether registering Shareware is worth the cost? A clear and
resounding "Yes".
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<EFBFBD> What is OS/2 <20> By: Eremos (1@2800)
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"(1) What is OS/2?
OS/2 is an advanced operating system for PCs and PS/2s with an 80286
processor or better. It was co- developed by Microsoft and IBM and
envisioned as the successor to DOS.
It was designed from the ground up with preemptive multitasking
and multi-threading in mind. It also protects applications from one
another (a single misbehaved program will not typically disrupt the
entire system), supports all addressable physical RAM, and supplies
virtual memory to applications as requested, breaking DOS's 640K
barrier."
By now even the most remote areas have heard of OS/2. Some of you may
already make extensive use of it. OS/2 is an excellent environment for running
a BBS. It allows the use of the main BBS computer while the BBS is up and
running. Of course OS/2 isn't perfect, you can't expect something so large and
complex to be without bugs and flaws, but despite it's short comings it is
perhaps the most powerful and most useful operating system you could have for
your 80x86 based system.
Lets set this straight. OS/2 2.0 is an operating system, like DOS. It
is not a fancy DOS shell, like Windows. It is a true blue (pun intended)
operating system. It handles everything. Memory management, disk access,
everything. It also happens to be a multi-platform operating system to boot.
This is probably OS/2s most useful feature - its breadth as an application
platform. OS/2 is a base for the future of 32-bit applications, but you can
also find a place for all your DOS applications as well. Not only that, with
OS/2's Windows {{1}} compatibility you can run your Windows applications as
well. Truly OS/2 2.0 allows you to run a wide range of multi-platform
applications all at once!
"How is OS/2's DOS capabilities". Excellent. In fact DOS programs run
better under OS/2 that under DOS. When you open a DOS window you have a full
640K (More or less), and access to a configurable amount of EMS/XMS. Of course
you can open as many of these DOS windows as you like. All with 640k and
access to as much XMS and EMS as you want to allow it. In addition you gain
powerful control over you DOS applications. OS/2 is actually a "Better DOS
than DOS".
A "Better Windows than Windows"? Perhaps. In the 2.0 release Windows 3.0
support was included. From what I have used of this it seems to be adequate.
Some report a slower performance with Windows programs under OS/2. This was
of course compared to Windows 3.1. I would expect this in that case. With the
release of OS/2 2.1 Windows 3.1 support will be adds. Amongst a whole bunch
of other features. I am running the OS/2 2.1 beta right now and have had very
good results.
To get down closer to home, how does OS/2 run WWIV? Excellent. I've run
WWIV under OS/2 since OS/2 2.0 was first released. I've attempted to run WWIV
under Windows and Desqview, with poor success. The performance of both was
lackluster compared to OS/2. OS/2 offers many features that make a sysop's
life easier. By being able to do more than one thing at a once, vast amounts
of time are saved. For those sysops that modify their WWIV source code, OS/2
can save immense amounts of time. You can edit and modify your source, debug
it, and make the BBS all while a user is on. You won't have to take down the
BBS to do most of your work. You can edit a text file with the OS/2 system
editor in one window, and paste some of that text into a post on your BBS in
another. OS/2 was more or less a dream come true. I was actually able to
reclaim the computer and use and still not have to take the BBS down.
Is OS/2 for everyone? Defiantly not. Not yet at least. You can't just grab
OS/2 out of the box and slap it on your Hard Drive and get it singing the
Stars Spangled Banner, well not without the Multi Media Pack at least. Though
you can install the thing and have it running, it will take you some time and
some playing to get all your applications to run smoothly. Many will run
without any real tweaking. Some though will cause you problems. Its these few
that give the user enjoys a challenge their jollies. Finding out the optimal
settings and getting the system tweaked makes their eyes shine. These are the
people that will love OS/2. Coupled with OS/2's hardware "excessive" hardware
requirements, real or perceived, alienates many from giving it a deserved
chance.
OS/2's hardware requirements are perhaps one of its major draw backs. OS/2
requires the following: (Straight off the box) 386SX or better based computer
4 MB of memory A high density floppy 15-30 megs on your HD A mouse
Personally I recommend you have at least a 386DX-25. Get 8 megs of memory
instead of 4. You won't regret it. OS/2 runs MUCH faster with 8. Although it
is reported that with the Service Pack installed you will get better
performance with 4 megs as IBM reduced the kernel size. It is also reported
that OS/2 2.1 will run better with 4 megs. Regardless of this get the 4 extra
megabytes, it will be money well spent in the long run.
That high density floppy is a requirement. The General Availability (Your
standard release in IBMspeak), GA for short only comes on high density 3.5 or
5.25 disks. So does the Service Pack. Since high density floppies are pretty
cheap and included with any system you buy these days, you shouldn't have to
worry there. The hard drive space may be cause some trouble for some people. I
have seen the media slam OS/2 by saying 30 megs was too much for an operating
system. Well you only need 30 megs if you are going to do the full install,
which I recommend you don't perform. Do a selective install and only install
the features you think you need or are going to use. Personally I never used
the applets and didn't install them. Saved a bunch of space. All those little
programs that IBM included in the GA, such as the clock, the data base, just
to name a couple, are pretty useless when you get down to it. They look neat
and might be useful once in awhile, but as the whole are a waste of disk
space.
Basically you can cut the installation down to 15 megs if you want. I had
the install run about 16-17 megs. Not a large amount really considering you
can erase DOS, Windows, Desqview, QEMM, and any data compression software like
Stacker. From pretty non-scientific calculations you probably just have a bit
more with OS/2 that you would with all the other stuff, and you get a whole
lot more with OS/2.
OS/2 complexity being one of its major advantages is also one of its
drawbacks. The casual user could easily become intimidated by the multitude of
settings. One can easily cause the system to become inoperable if they don't
know what they are doing. OS/2 has been deemed a operating system for "Power
Users", and those that are just the casual computer illiterate should stick
with their little Windows environments. This is unfortunate and only seeks to
alienate non-OS/2 users further. In my experience OS/2 learning curve is only
a bit more steep than learning DOS. Coupled with learning Windows, well OS/2
is only one system you have to learn instead of two or more.
OS/2 is capable of being an "operating system for everyone". It's wide
application platform, and its crash resistance, and its ability to multi-task
applications from different platforms successfully give OS/2 a very strong
base from which to explode into the PC world. Plus with the release of
Borland's C++ compiler for OS/2 (To be released March 1), OS/2 should become
even more popular and even more usable.
Eremos, WWIVnet 1@2800, ICEnet 1@2800, FIDOnet 1:347/31
eremos@cardboard.mocw.id.us
Authors note: The quote at the beginning of this article was obtained from the
OS/2 Frequently Asked Questions. Compiled by Timothy F. Sipples. Copies of the
complete OS/2 FAQ can be had via anonymous ftp from 128.123.35.151,in
/pub/os2/all/info/faq.
I welcome questions and comments regarding this article and OS/2.
I will happily attempt to reply to all correspondence.
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<EFBFBD> BBS Utilities I Can't Do Without <20> By: Al Yonn (a.k.a. Kid) (1@9403)
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As most of you well know there are many utilities for WWIV.The problem
is, Which one of them is going to work best with your hardware, software,
and still get what you want done.
I have found that one of the most used WWIV utilities is NETxx the
networking software.In it's own way it may be considered a utility.
NETxx comes with a file called LNET.EXE that is used to analyze and read
the file DEAD.NET created when a system does not know where to send a message
next. Recently "Dr.Deversity" created a file called DRLNET1.EXE which is a
very useful utility when working with DEAD.NET files.It allows for you to
utilize certain new features like Extracting messages to files, Dos
Shell's,WWIV Color Codes, and More.
Another utility used on almost all WWIV Bbs's is the TIMEBANK. Which most
of you know is a utility for allowing users to keep the time from one logon
and use it in another log on.
Another WWIV utility is a new feature added to WWIV in version 4.22 called
External strings.The most common utility to modify this is ESM which allows
you to change certain strings that you and the user see.
Most SysOp's use some sort of bulletin maker.I have found that these may at
times be useful but the cheapest and the easiest way to make a logon bulletin
is to write a batch file that echo's and does all the functions you need for
example below is my batch file:
@ECHO OFF
CD\Bbs\Chains\Checkers
BbsCheck -M C:\Bbs\Chain.Txt
CD\Bbs\Chains\Chess
BbsChess -M C:\Bbs\Chain.Txt
Cd\Bbs
ECHO: 7 Login Info From , Your SysOp: 6KID
ECHO: 5Registered To: 6Kid
ECHO: 2Version 1.0 Written By: 6Kid
ECHO: 7----------------------------------------------------------------------
ECHO: 5Well Everyone We Have A Few On-Liners Up So Go Check Them Out.
ECHO: 5Also We Are In A Lot Of Nets Now And Have Over 100 Subs.
ECHO: 5So Go Post Some.
ECHO: 7----------------------------------------------------------------------
Exit
And that is how my Bulletin maker works. It's a Lot easier than registering
a whole program for 20-50 dollars.
Some other utilities I have seen are Full Screen Editors.Such as the one
I am using to write this.I prefer WWIVedit, Because it allows for the "WWIV
SLASH COMMAND's" ,With most other editors you have to use CTRL or ALT
characters such as to save in another Program you may have to hit CTRL-S to
save.
Also the biggest question is "What Software Should I Use For A Bbs?" well
I picked WWIV because it has some of the easiest command's for both SysOp and
Users.WWIV is un-doubtedly one of the best if not THE BEST bbs types.As we all
know the story behind "telegard".Although "telegard" was a very nice bbs it
had a few features that bombed out, like the SysOp "YELL" command.I also have
looked at a bbs called "SearchLight" and it was very very nice.Simple menu
command's like hitting the space bar would give you separate menu option's.
Yet another utility that some SysOp's use is "The Draw" for making the
ansi screens for there bbs's such as the log on screen or menu's."The Draw" is
a simple program to operate.It merely makes it easier to animate and color the
ansi's most of the "ALT" commands were moved to the function keys."The Draw"
also makes drawing line's easier with the ALT-M command which allows drawing.
And that's all that i can think of.. any comment's/suggestions for another
article on this topic/question's just E-Mail Me 1@9403 and the alias is KID
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<EFBFBD> To Cripple, Or Not To Cripple <20> By: Spammer (2@7676)
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What do you think of "CrippleWare?" Well, I for one, can see the point
that the programmers had in mind. You see, a lot of people who go out and find
ShareWare will not register it. Now, here's a few things to keep in mind when
it comes to registering ShareWare:
1) Support usually comes with registration. This is not always true, but in
most cases, it is.
2) Updates. A lot of programmers update their software because of user request,
bugs, modifications to accompanying programs, or even a combination of
these things. So, the programmer may include future updates as part of
registered privileges.
3) Source Codes. Sometimes, the programmer will include the source code so
that you can personalize it to your taste or modify it for your needs or
wants.
4) Appreciation. Programmers of ShareWare/Public Domain Software put a lot of
time, effort, and swearing into their creation. Registration shows the
appreciation of the user for their efforts.
So, you see, registration of "uncrippled" ShareWare programs does more than
get rid of that annoying "UNREGISTERED" notice.
As for "CrippleWare," I agree to a point. People like to see what they're
getting before they buy it. That's one thing I don't like about commercial
software. I have been disappointed after going to a store, buying a game or
utility, and finding that the only thing that was worth keeping was the disk.
Mind you, I don't agree with piracy, but, I hate being disappointed, also. I
think that if you are going to write a program, either send it out uncrippled
as ShareWare, or make a demo of the program so that the user can see the
program in operation, but knows that it will not accomplish the job. One
program that comes to mind is The Network Coordinator. Dr. Fred sent it out as
a demo, and the user will get the usable version when he/she registers it. The
reason I like Demos over "crippleware" is that most users don't read what it
won't do, they see just how to run it. Then, when they go to do something that
the unregistered version won't do, they get upset and, probably, won't get
another piece of software. That defeats part of the purpose of the programmer.
Please remember, these are the views of only one user. I know that there are
others who agree, but I am only stating an opinion.
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N E W U S E R ' S F O R U M
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<EFBFBD> The Initiation of a New User <20> By: Ima Moron (1@9661)
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So you don't have the time to help that potential user that is ignorant in
the use of a BBS?
Speaking for myself, I'm semi retired and I usually have the time to
educate a new user. However if your circumstances are different than my
circumstances than perhaps you might read this article for the opportunity
to review your options about user education.
WWIV software is written specifically to allow a user as complete and
rapid an access as any BBS software that has been written. I can recall my
first logon to a WWIV type BBS, the sysop was and is Elmer Fudd of Critical
Mass BBS here in Redding, Ca.. I fumbled around with Mr. Bell's abstract menus
for about 10 minutes when Elmer came online and asked me what I was doing,
or attempting to do. He instructed me as to the how of downloading the
WWIVUSER.DOC file. For the uneducated that file is provided by Mr. Bell so
that you sysops may allow your users to download a more complete explanation
of the WWIV user options. But what if your new user doesn't know how to
download?
The options for the user aren't fully explained in the menus, nor are
the terms used on a BBS. Terms such as GFILES, TRANSFER SECTION, ONLINE GAMES,
etc; are non standard with other BBS software types. All of these problems
create a difficult task for the sysop that wishes to help a new user enjoy the
use of his or her BBS. Your user can't go to your GFILES section if the term
GFILES is a foreign language to the user. So what can you do..? Perhaps an
explanation of one of the four basic areas of a WWIV BBS written out in your
feedback.msg letter might be helpful to that new user.
An example feedback.msg;
Hello new user, and welcome to Das' Tube BBS! At this time I want you to
leave me a little information about yourself. Please tell me your age, your
interests, and if you own a dictionary?
If you are new to calling BBSs or if you are unfamiliar with WWIV BBS
software please tell me, and I'm presuming that you are unfamiliar with the
software so follow the directions in the following paragraph.
After you write the feedback letter to me you can save the letter by
entering /S on a blank line at the far left side of the screen, then press
enter. If you need further assistance then when you see a menu followed by a
line that reads "General - Area bulletins" press G, a second menu will appear.
Look for How To Use This BBS and press 5. Another menu will appear, choose one
or all of the subjects that you need information about. If you are forgetful,
write this paragraph down.
SYSOP : Ima < end letter
There, you have informed a new user as to how to find the GFILES section
of the BBS. From there the user isn't left completely help- less. In my GFILES
section I've placed some basic " how to " files about the basic user options
such as E-mail, message reading, message posting, multi-mail, how to find
online games, etc.. All of these files are about one page long and are written
to inform the user in a most direct method. If you're going to attempt to
write your own little "docs", please remember to make the files short and
concise. The reason for this is expressed in the following dialog which I
derived from my 18 months online, and that reason is "..the docs are so long
I forgot half of em..".
Teaching File Downloading
My all time favorite conversation with a user was when a young man left
me e-mail stating, "...I downloaded a file from you yesterday and I can't find
it. Do you know where it went? " Well I could have replied to him, " the modem
boggie-man got it.." and left it at that, however I don't do those things. So
I called him voice and I explained as best I could how he should download a
file and where those files go when "completed" flashes on his screen. I've
also added a little doc in my GFILES section on the rudiments of downloading
and I've separated that subject by the user terminal software type ( don't
ask for a copy, I don't know every version or type of terminal software. As
a matter of fact I currently have only a few available, like Qmodem ). If you
don't know anything about Telix, Procomm+, Qmodem, etc; then ask your users in
a flyer for their downloading key sequence, I almost always receive an answer
that I can derive some text from, and from that dialog I type out a doc file.
Online Game Tutorials
I suggest that you zip those game docs up and place them in a user
accessible directory for downloading. But remember this, commodore 64, 128,
and Atari users may not be able to unzip those doc files for the online games.
I have several users that have requested that I uncompress an online game doc
for them, from that request I learned that we IBM users alienate the small
computer user with our IBM utilities.
You can ignore today's Atari user, who may be the 486 owner of tomorrow,
but what will he or she think of you then..?
Now don't forget to start a dialog with your users on the message bases
so that you may introduce those game document files. You might initiate a new
subboard that covers either all of your online games in discussion or perhaps
a specific subboard to discuss one particular game, the choice is personal.
There are networked subboards for many of the popular online games such as
Tradewars, Space Dominions, etc. and those subboards can be very informative
to your users.
If you wish to respond to my interpretation of user help, I can be reached
as 1@9661 WWIVNET & ICENET. If you wish to write a rebuttal to my methods I'm
still 1@9661.
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<EFBFBD> The Importance of Voice Validating New Callers <20> By: Jack Ryan (1@6100)
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With the recent publicity that BBSing has received, the majority of it
being negative, the importance of voice-validating callers is at an all-time
high. More and more people are calling BBS's, and all for different reasons;
some are interested in messages, others files, some games, and yet others are
interested in causing you a lot of problems. I have broken down the major
reasons why voice-validation is, in my opinion, a necessity.
1. When a caller knows that they are going to be voice-validated they tend
to enter correct information. This makes the job of a sysop a lot easier.
It's nice to know that the information you have on your users is valid.
2. Discourages hack attempts. When a caller logs in as "new" on my board, a
message is displayed, informing them that I will voice-validate them before
granting them normal access. I have watched several callers drop carrier
after reading that message.
3. Demonstrates that you are an attentive sysop. It lets the caller know
that you are aware of all that's happening on the bbs. The caller get the
feeling that you take pride in running your board. They feel like you care
about it, and them, which brings them back again.
4. Voice-validation gives you a better feel for your callers. You can tell
a lot by a quick call. While I restrict "adult access" to callers who have
mailed me a copy of their d.l., you can generally tell age by a phone call.
I began voice-validating callers after a user had attempted to up-load a
file to me, which had a nasty little batch file in it. All up-loads go to
sysop, so there wasn't too much danger, but it made me aware that I needed
to find a way to discourage more attempts like that one. Before I began
voice-validation of all callers, I had four attempts like the one above.
Since I began the voice validation, I have not had any.
Jack Ryan (1@6100) Patriot Games [ASV/ISB]
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<EFBFBD> User's Poll Question <20> By: The Fez (2@7653)
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In a previous issue of IceNEWS, the question "What do you look for in a
good user" was asked of IceNET sysops. For this month, I decided to reverse
the question and ask the regular IceNET users "What do you look for in a good
sysop and bbs?"
The question was posted on IceNET National General discussion sub. I
chose this forum to ask the question due to its large subscriber base. I had
anticipated a fairly large response to this question. The question was posted
numerous times on the forum over the course of the month of March.
What I got instead was an extremely small response. I'm at something of
a loss to explain the lack of response to a question that I felt should have
stimulated a decent amount of feedback. Perhaps the users don't really care
about the sysops or BBSs that they call. Perhaps they just did not care to
take a minute to type out a response to my query. Then again, perhaps it was
due to other reasons I haven't considered. Regardless, here are the responses
I received to my question:
Jim, 1@1, answered the question this way:
1 - Answer all mail immediately. Never read mail you are too tired to
answer.
2 - Full featured board (email, messages, games, files)
3 - Nice Menus, avoiding clutter
4 - No demands or overbearing warnings and Don't Do's all over the place.
Give the user a chance to have and use some common sense.
5 - No XXX files or smut filled message bases
6 - No Pirated files
7 - A sysop who actually POSTS on his_her own board.
8 - 24 hours/7 Days RELIABLE operation. Never off line (or so it seems).
9 - A good sysop has the 'right' temperament to get along with almost anyone,
on their terms, and not just his own. It's too easy to become a bit
tyrannical as a sysop, so at all costs avoid such trappings.
10 - Act upon any suggestion, even if it only comes from one person. Many
probably have though it, but only one took the time to let you know.
Listen to your users, do what they ask you to do, and that's just about
all you need to do.
11 - Oh and yeah, you shall have FUN!
Ted Hering, #95 @9680, replied:
"I like SysOps who are involved in their BBSs. I think that sets the pace
for the users. Some boards are pretty dead: you call today, and two or three
weeks you call again, to see that nothing has been changed or added. The
"Q-scan" turns up nothing new. But other boards are a real adventure! If you
leave Feedback, there is a comment or response the next day. If some of the
subs are a little slow, some SysOps will post a good question that gets the
discussion rolling."
"I also like," continued Ted, "a SysOp to take some initiative in setting
and enforcing rules. I really don't find the 'free-for-all,' 'anything goes'
type of BBS very interesting. I've noticed that EVEN WITH THE SAME USERS
calling different boards, each BBS has a different mood and feel. Why? The
SysOp sets the pace. If verbal abuse is not allowed, for example, users learn
pretty quick how to live within the boundaries."
Kerouac, #304 @7670, rounded out the responses thusly:
"I look for (in a BBS) A Sysop that posts as much as the users do and one
willing to help out a newbie... I was lost, and probably still would be if not
for the help of a few good Sysops."
"Also," finished Kerouac, "I like a good sub base (local and netted) and
a interesting X-Fer section... Oh yeah... And Tradewars 2002."
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H U M O R D E P A R T M E N T
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<EFBFBD> A Blatant Attempt At Humor: <20>
<EFBFBD> Bob's Guide to Power Posting <20> By: <20>lpine <20>ob (1@7416)
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1. Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason can't
*possibly* be that you're a moron.... There's obviously a conspiracy
against you, and you will be doing the entire net a favor by exposing
it. Be sure to mention the CIA, FBI Oliver North and the Army as
co-conspirators.
2. Lawsuit threats: This is the reverse of Rule #1. Threatening a lawsuit
is always considered to be in good form. "By saying that I've posted to
the wrong group, Charlie has libeled me, slandered me, and sodomized me.
See you in court, Charlie."
3. Force them to document their claims: Even if Jane Jones states outright
that she has menstrual cramps, you should demand documentation. If Newsweek
hasn't written an article on Jane's cramps, then Jane's obviously lying.
4. Use foreign phrases: French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca of
networking. You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three times
per article. Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseam", "vini, vidi,
vici", "E Pluribus Unum" and "fetuccini alfredo".
5. Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to convince
them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them? State that you're
a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of America. Tell them the scores you
received on every exam since high school. "I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs,
GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell the word 'pre meiotic' ".
6. Be an armchair psychologist: You're a smart person. You've heard of
Freud. You took a psychology course in college. Clearly, you're qualified
to psychoanalyze your opponent. "Polly Purebread, by using the word
'zucchini' in her posting, shows she has a bad case of penis envy."
7. Accuse your opponent of censorship: It is your right as an American
citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the net (as guaranteed by
the 37th Amendment, I think). Anyone who tries to limit your cross-posting
or move a flame war to email is either a Communist, a fascist, or both.
8. Doubt their existence: You've never actually seen your opponent, have
you? And since you're the center of the universe, you should have seen
them by now, shouldn't you? Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST! Call'em an AI
project, to really piss them off.
9. Laugh at whatever they write: A good "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
should intimidate just about anyone.
10. When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other rules, remember this
one. At some point during your wonderful career on the network, you will
undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is better than you.
This person will expose your lies, tear apart your arguments, make you
look generally like a bozo. At this point, there's only one thing to do:
insult the dirtbag!!! "Oh yeah? Well, you do strange things with
vegetables."
11. And, if all else fails, remember that you can always fall back on the
favorite defense of Soc.women: "Who cares what YOU think -- this is
Soc.WOMEN!". Add "DAMMIT!" for effect.
12. Be sure to have a cute signature that proclaims that you are a man basher:
No one will respect you unless it's clear that you hate men.
13. Call'em a "Pman" if you can't think of anything: Tell the linguists to
stuff it -- YOU know a diminutive when you see it.
14. Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies
sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly." "Clearly,
Fred Flooney is a liar, and a dirtball to boot."
15. Cross-post your article: Everyone on the net is just waiting for the next
literary masterpiece to leave your terminal. From rec.arts.woebegone to
alt.gourmand, they're all holding their breaths until your next flame.
Therefore, post everywhere.
16. Use the smiley to your advantage: You can call anyone just about anything
as long as you include the smiley. On really nasty attacks add "No flames,
please". When they bitch, call them an ass for not being able to recognize
sarcasm when they see it.
17. Threaten to destroy Soc.men if your opponent refuses to give up: This at
least gives you an appearance of power, even if nobody on the net gives a
damn about what goes on in soc.men.
18. Should you post something exceedingly stupid and later regret it, don't
worry: You needn't cancel the article. That only shows what a wimp you
really are. Deny that you ever sent it. "It must be a forgery!" (Yea,
that's the ticket, it's a forgery!) "Someone broke into my account and
sent it!" "It's that damn backbone cabal out to get me!" Take your pick,
they've all been used before.
19. A really cheap shot is to call you opponent a "facist": By itself, it
really does nothing. But, when used often, and in enough articles, it
can make you a net-legend.
20. And finally, never edit your newsgroup line when following up (unless
you're expanding it): This drives 'em wild. Be sure to follow up as many
articles as possible, even if you have nothing to say. The important thing
is to get "exposure" so that you can be called a "regular" in your pet
newsgroup. Never change the ">" symbol when following up; that's for
wimps. Dump a hundred lines of "INEWS FODDER" in every article.
Now that you know the ways to properly post on the net, let's try
an example:
Bill Netter #912 @7416 writes...
> Dear Sally,
I object to your use of the word "dear". It shows you are a condescending,
sexist Pman. Also, the submissive tone you use shows that you like to be tied
down and flagellated with licorice whips.
> While I found your article "The Effect of Lint on Western Thought"
> to be extremely thought-provoking,
"Thought-provoking"? I had no idea you could think, you rotting piece of
swamp slime. :-) (No flames, please)
> it really shouldn't have been posted in Soc.women.
What? Are you questioning my judgment? I'll have you know that I'm a member
of the super-high-IQ society Menstruate. I got an 800 on my PMS exam. Besides,
what does a Pman like yourself know of such things. This is Soc.WOMEN, DAMMIT!
Your attempts constitute nothing less than censorship. There is a conspiracy
against me. You, Colin, Charlie and the backbone cabal have been constantly
harassing me by email. This was an ad hominem attack! If this doesn't stop
at once, I'll crosspost a thousand articles to soc.men.
> Perhaps you should have posted it in misc.misc.
It is my right, as granted in the Bill of Rights, the Magna Carta, the Bible
and the Quran, to post where ever I want to. Or don't you believe in those
documents, you damn fascist? Perhaps if you didn't spend so much time
sacrificing virgins and infants to Satan, you would have realized this.
> Your article would be much more appropriate there.
Can you document this? I will only accept documents notarized by my attorney,
and signed by you in your blood. Besides, you don't really exist anyway, you
Pseudo, you.
> If I can be of any help in the future, just drop me a line.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
> Bill.
Sally Sourpuss
"If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all?" Soc.women
Women WOMEN, DAMMIT!
/* Thanks to Judiciary Pag, #27 @ 7400. Look for another Installment! */
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