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F I D O N E W S -- Vol.13 No.12 (18-Mar-1996)
+----------------------------+-----------------------------------------+
| A newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: |
| FidoNet BBS community | "FidoNews" BBS |
| _ | +1-519-570-4176 |
| / \ | |
| /|oo \ | |
| (_| /_) | |
| _`@/_ \ _ | |
| | | \ \\ | Editor: |
| | (*) | \ )) | Donald Tees 1:221/192 |
| |__U__| / \// | |
| _//|| _\ / | |
| (_/(_|(____/ | |
| (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. |
| | -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
+----------------------------+-----------------------------------------+
| Submission address: editors 1:1/23 |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
| MORE addresses: |
| |
| submissions=> editor@exlibris.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca |
| Don -- don@exlibris.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
| For information, copyrights, article submissions, |
| obtaining copies of fidonews or the internet gateway faq |
| please refer to the end of this file. |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
========================================================================
Table of Contents
========================================================================
1. Editorial..................................................... 2
2. Articles...................................................... 2
Da SNooZe................................................... 2
C I A (1:2623/71)........................................... 3
Technology Freeze........................................... 4
TFSN........................................................ 4
Internet killing Fido? A view from Germany.................. 6
Modernizing FIDONet......................................... 8
InterNews Editor?........................................... 9
The Future of Fidonet as we know it......................... 10
The future of Fidonet....................................... 11
Social Constipation Part XXVII.............................. 13
3. Fidonews Information.......................................... 16
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 2 18 Mar 1996
========================================================================
Editorial
========================================================================
It never ceases to amaze me how someone, when given a gift,
can complain bitterly that it is not good enough.
We have another article by C.I.A. today, denigrating the
new fido/internet gate because there are rules she does not
like. The rules are there for the convenience of the operator
of the gate. That operator is an amateur, running hardware that
is paid for out of their own pocket. That the gate has limits
not imposed by AT&T should come as no surprise to anyone, at
least to no one with a modicum of sense.
Each sysop in fidonet offers what services they can, and what
services they have the time and talent to offer. They are not
obligated to offer any. To be sure, some services carry an
obligation. I, for example, am often obligated to format and work
with articles that I disagree with.
Nevertheless, there is such a thing as common courtesy.
Fidonet would run much better if some of our members were
capable of learning basic table manners.
Last but not least, this not meant as a cheap shot against
the other article calling for my resignation. On bad days, *I*
could have written *that* article. The reason that Sylvia's
absence has not been explained is that she has not explained it.
I never attempt explanations for other people. I consider it
rude.
;<)
========================================================================
Articles
========================================================================
Da SNooZe
The Terminator (1:2805/1)
I just finished reading that last three issues of FidoSnooze. I
had no idea that there were so many reasonable people in FidoNet.
Why won't anyone listen to them?
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 3 18 Mar 1996
bighub.org
C I A (1:2623/71)
Greetings Wes!
I just wanted to write and speak my view of your altruistic gateway
service, as stated in this weeks fidonews:
"\
By learning from the mistakes and mishaps of the former default
gateway, we have put in this set of rules:
1) DO NOT, FOR ANY REASON, AT ANY TIME ATTEMPT TO BYPASS THE
BANNED ADDRESSES ON THIS GATEWAY.
2) Subscribing to any mailing lists is prohibited.
3) Exchanging of files is prohibited.
4) No mail is private.
"
These are the same rules that caused Burt Juda such strife and
discontent.. Except, I do not think he went as far as to eschew the
protection afforded by ECPA in regards to private mail.. I infer
from your prohibition that PGP mail will be auto-deleted, also?
As I told Burt in the Snews a few weeks ago, these rules are anal
and hamper communication...
I admire your effort in offering the gateway, but, what use is it?
You don't even grant respect for private mail..
Since you will not allow files or mailing lists, its just as
useless as Juda's gate was, except for msgs that could easily be
sent as echomail or netmail..
As for not circumventing your little netmgr twit filter to get
around 'banned' sites, well, unless you intend to pursue legal
action (and can find the perpetrator) you're just blowing smoke..
It's trivial to get around those twit filters from the Internet,
you are aware of that?
Sigh...
Why is it necessary to forbid mailing lists, when your downlinks
will be the ones paying LD to pick them up? Why is it necessary to
violate the ECPA, and throw away its protections, by claiming to
disallow private mail? Why is it necessary to have 'twit filters'
to keep people YOU don't like from using your supposedly open
gateway?
Y'all just don't get it, still haven't figured out what an OPEN
communications net is about...
Thankfully, Superlink is opening very soon (April) in our area :)
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 4 18 Mar 1996
CiAo
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Technology Freeze
by Colin Zimmer, 1:140/62
Well my brother, Scott, was home over the Christmas holidays we
started to discuss computers, like we always do. We got in to how
much ever thing was changing, like most of us do. And then he said
something that made some sense. What if Intel and every one else
stopped coming out with new products for five years.
Now before you think "Great, the makings of the next unibomber.",
just read. Think about it, a five year freeze on technology
upgrades. You wouldn't have to upgrade every time something new came
out. It would give the manufacturers five years to come up with new
products and to beta test them.
This would not only save money, but there would be some sort of
industry standard for software. All the programers in the world
would no long have to worry about if it would work with ever one
elses system because of system requirements. And one mass produced
product would drop in price. No more, this many 486s, and this many
100Mhz P5s, but all one CPU.
Think about it, if you knew that the P6-200Mhz was going to be the
top CPU for five years, would you go out and get one. I sure would.
You wouldn't have to even think, "Gee, do I have enough power to run
that new program" for five years. Then finally in five years there
would be a new setup. (I'm not going to say CPU, because in five
years, who knows) The company could make millions of one system,
that would keep the price down, as I said before. Just a thought.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
TFSN
Cindy Ingersoll (1:2623/71)
A Search For
The Free Speech Net
In our search for a net that supports freedom of speech we
have found many that claim to be free speech but NONE that
really follow through. It has been our experience with these
other nets that their definition of free speech is
* different * than the Constitutional definition.
It was our goal to find a network that provided a forum for
* TRUE * freedom of speech. Allowing all speech except
"illegal speech". A net where people are * RESPONSIBLE * for
what they wrote yet were NOT in danger of losing their access
purely on how others chose to react to those writings. A net
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 5 18 Mar 1996
that supported and protected Free Speech even if that speech
was unpopular.
We never found such a net.
We were told you can't have true freedom of speech on a net,
that if a net supported real free speech it would become chaos
because the callers would abuse it. We didn't believe
that...we still don't. We believe that most callers are
mature and intelligent and are able to handle a net that
supports free speech. Our belief is so strong in the ability
of the callers to handle Free Speech, that we have started our
own net.
Some people think that * BIG BROTHER * needs to be always
present to protect callers from seeing this or that opinion,
or to protect them from what might offend them. We don't
believe that. We want to give that power to the caller. We
want the caller to be able to decide what discussions they
will or will not read. We want the caller to be able to
decide if he will or will not participate. So we started a
net to support that ideal.
We believe that the individual caller is the one to decide if
some subject or someone is offensive, and if it is, they can
just skip that discussion or ignore that person. But the
banning of subjects or people, for being offensive, is not an
option on this net.
In our search to find a Free Speech Net we found our own
beliefs...and our beliefs have turned into a reality.
In order to share our beliefs with you and to make our beliefs
real, we ...
present:
T H E * F R E E S P E E C H * N E T
o@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ -oOOOOOOOOO oOOOOOOOOOOOOo =8@@O- OOO:
o@@@@@### ###@@@@@ O########### #############0 O######+ @##-
O## ##O =###' ###' ###@O###- @##-
O## ##O +##@ooooooooo ###@0000000008 ###: -###- @##-
O## ##O +###########@ +@####@####### ###: o###: @##-
O## ##o +##0 ;@#@ ###: O@#0+##@-
o#@ ##o :@#o @0@@@@0@@@###0 0#@: o##@#88
+80 0O+ :0@- OO8080OOO08'0' OO8.mc .O008+-
.-O -: :O -O=-o -+- +.oo-
- . . . - . .=
. Ad Version 7.0 . .
==============================================================
Supporting * All * That * The * Law * Will * Allow
==============================================================
The Free Speech Net
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 6 18 Mar 1996
Is The Only Net To Allow You The Freedom To Explore
Beyond The Confines Of Your Own Thoughts.
The Freedom To Ask Questions Of Others And Yourself.
- Janet Russell -
"Those not busy being born are busy dying." - Bob Dylan -
==============================================================
The Free Speech Network is the combined creation of the SysOp
and callers of the Miskatonic University BBS, Rising Force
sysop of VVSI, and several local systems that have the same
goal of supporting Free Speech. Joining The Free Speech net
IS easy! Just fill out the application that should be
following this ad. If you can't find the application, just
netmail me at Fidonet 1:103/207 or Infinet 69:2/7140 and I
will crash it to you.
=Rising Force=
at
Fido 1:103/207
Infinet 69:2/7140
or
Grimm at His BBS
Miskatonic University
310-404-6363
CiAo
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Internet killing Fido? A view from Germany
by Klaus 'Kaba' Bader, 2:2480/7, currently 1:109/333.3
Tired from it all?
Here's my perspective towards this whole "Fidonet is dying" stuff.
I am a rather central echomail- and file distribution system for
Augsburg, a town in Germany in net 2480.
I hear this "song" at home, too. Users going away from the BBSes and
towards the Internet, lines constantly getting less busy, echo
attendance poor,...
These opinions aren't published in FIDONEWS, tho, 'coz most of our
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 7 18 Mar 1996
people don't or cannot read 'em because their English isn't that good.
These discussions take place at meetings in pubs or bars, it's mostly
1:30AM, we're all quite drunk and everybody's eyes are watering from
all the smoke in the bar (Hi Joe!)...
I listen to that for some time and then I speak up and remember the
folx WHAT went on in "the good old days". Yeah, the lines were busy
all the time. And the messageboards were just FULL. And there were
chats.. BOY that was cool...
But weren't 90% of these users the NTDL-type:
'NewFiles-Tag-Download-Logoff' ?
In these days, local messageboards carried more traffic, yeah. But
apart from that really awesome cucumber-sex-thread, most of the stuff
(and this special thread, too) was basically crap. Ok, partially, it
was fun to read, I must admit. And the chats were't that bad, too.
Except that my dinner regularly burned into the pan, I never got to go
to bed the time I actually wanted to go and my girlfriend casually
asked who is more important for me...
Yeah, and we were just one family: Everybody was busy beefing up his
system: Another line, another ISDN, another Gig-Volume, another
CD-ROM, another door. Lotsa adult-stuff was clogging up diskspace,
megabyte-clusters of soundclips, more or less colorful pictures and
tons of outdated EGA- or CGA-games. Doesn't matter what's actually ON
there, MY filelist is biggest. (And mine is longest, too...)
The actual diskspace needed for echomail distribution has remained the
same on my system, tho: I still use my oldest volume for my personal
stuff, the complete mailbase AND the packets. (my average mail
outbound is 'round 100MB per day). The only thing that really soared
were the fileechoes. And the only reason for that (imho in Germany) is
ISDN. When I compare the time spent for polling, I now have the same
times on ISDN I had a few years back with 14.4. People seem to have an
implanted threshold for phonecost, they only stop hatching when that
magical barrier is reached...
The poularity of the Internet hasn't changed that much from my
personal, sysop's point of view.
The real morons, the people that were reckless enough to page you at 3
AM when you forgot to switch the speaker off, the ones who did NOT use
the guest login, but logged in as HAGAR THE HORRIBLE or PETER PAN or
worse names and filled up your TRASHCAN.CTL, these have miraculously
dissapeared (mostly).
For me, the times have acutally gotten _better_. The people that
remained in Fidonet know why. Most of the German newsgroups have
shrinked to a "readable" size again, the junk is ignorable and even
some of the international echos (=backbone echos) get interesting
enough to participate.
I did not see the "worthy" people turning their backs on FidoNet
BECAUSE OF THE INTERNET. The ones that leave in Germany are the
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 8 18 Mar 1996
power-mongers or those disappointed or attacked by the former.
And those people that joined Fido in the days when there was an air of
hackerism with it, a kind of trailblazer feeling, a strange sort of
arrogance towards all newbies and those who never ran OPUS or FIDO.
AND of course the dissapointed teenagers (and there are LOTS of
them!!!) leve after they found out that FidoNet acutally is no
substitution for lacking self-esteem, that the other sysops do NOT
look on how big your system is or how many insulting mails you can
produce in one day, but on what you are at the sysop meetings (if you
decide to show up there in the first place).
And that is another advantage of FidoNet: Due to its structure, it
implies a kind of "togetherness" that Internet will never have. Ok,
there are IRC-parties, but hardly anyone from the IN would organize a
party or a meeting and invite all people that "do" Internet in his
neighborhood, wouldn't he? In FidoNet, this is part of it. I cannot
imagine being in FidoNet and NEVER seeing anyone, NOT going to the
weekly sysop-meetings now and then, NOT attending the monthly
"Net-Stammtisch" in Munich, NOT going to EUROCon once a year (and
return rather wrecked...).
Ok, I get pissed too, when *Cs start playing power games or the whole
thing that f****d up Fido Germany not so long ago starts again
(overlapping nets). But now after years have passed since the German
FidoNet war, I am really proud having been part of that AND HAVING
STAYED (which is much more important).
Problems and Deathbell rings come and go. What's important is that you
never forget who you're doing this for: YOURSELF! :-)
The basic feeling I've seen here is that the USERS go away. Well, if
your BBS isn't attended anymore, just close it down or simply don't
care, you're doing this because YOU want to communicate, don't you???
Puh. As usual, I got MASSIVELY carried away... Happens to me every
time I decide to speak up. Hum. Perhaps it's better that it's usually
2AM, everybody wanted to go home HOURS ago and the lady with the mop
comes to clean up the pub. That way, I never have the feeling they
all leave because of me... :-)
"Say good night, Kaba."
Good night...kaba.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Modernizing FIDONet
Title: Modernizing FIDONet
By: Mark Kobussen, 1:282/4097
I have finally taken the time to actually, <GASP>, read
the snooze, and the first thing I noticed was all the articles
talking about FIDO and the Internet. One that caught my
attention was the article about using HTML type tags in our
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 9 18 Mar 1996
mail. Now, I don't think we need to duplicate the Internet, it's
as good as it's gonna get (and with the appearance of such
languages as Java and Microsoft's VB Script, the WWW becomes
more and more interactive!).
From what I see, there is one thing to do. Modernize
FIDONet. We need standards on message bases and software so it's
easy for first time sysops to setup a FIDO node. Here is a list
of a few things I think is essential in reviving FIDONet:
- Standardized Message Formats: One format used by ALL
FIDONodes. The messages themselves are packed as in the
current procedure, but by a special FIDO interface, which
takes them DIRECTLY from the BBS's message base and packs
them, no converting needed, so it can be easily sent out.
- FIDONet GNU Projects: I know how many programmers are out
there! What we need is good, quality software. But cheap,
FREE. Look at the internet. How much is Netscape, one of the
most used WWW Browsers? Free. How much does it cost to operate
a WWW site? I have 1mb of space and 24 hour service, all for
free. This had a big thing to do with the first time I took my
BBS down and disconnected from FIDO. I couldn't afford the
software! These new programs would be tailored for the new
mail system, standardized message formats and all. And with
the advent of free software, I'm sure alot of the smaller 1
node systems would join FIDONet.
For FIDONet, I do not see the need to duplicate the
Internet, or even base our entire system on the internet. We
need updated software, standard formats, and most of all, a lot
of hard work from existing FIDONet sysops.
Mark, Cygnus Spaceworks
1:282/4097
----------------------------------------------------------------------
InterNews Editor?
Ron Bemis
1:124/1113
Our FidoNews Editor
January 15, 1996. FidoNews Volume 13, Number 3. Sylvia
Maxwell's name is mysteriously missing from the "Editors"
heading and other places, and is added to the "Editors
Emerittii" section. No explanation to be found. And in
this three page document, the only other information is the
editorial, which says in whole "There were no articles
submited [sic] this week".
And so it goes. Our remaining lone editor seems about as
excited about writing an editorial as he does about being a
member of Fidonet. Maybe it's time to start a search for a
new editor. An editor that can convey a sense of interest
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 10 18 Mar 1996
in what he or she is doing.
It's been pointed out in our regional echo that most new
Fidonet members read at least a few issues of FidoNews.
It's mentioned in Policy 4, and they have to read Policy 4,
and some of it actually sinks in sometimes. :-)
Most newbies are "sponsored" or at least helped along by
another Fidonet sysop. Unless they read about Fidonet in a
magazine and got a nodelist from a shareware disk vendor,
they know somebody that's already in the nodelist. That
person probably urged them to apply for a node number,
telling them all the benefits of being a "CM" node in the
nodelist. They're excited, and ready to get involved. Then
they read FidoNews, and find out that Fidonet is dying, and
that hooking into the Internet is so much better...
Sure, there are a few problems. I think the biggest one is
that we're currently without an IC, and some decisions are
not being made because of it. But can't we let the members
decide for themselves if "Fidonet is dying" or not?
I think it's time for a new FidoNews Editor.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Future of Fidonet as we know it
by Fredrik Bennison
2:205/300, d93fbe@blg.du.se
When I first received the last two FidoNews issues, I was glad.
Finally some life again, finally issues filled with articles.
After reading them, I'm not quite as happy about it. Most of it
was filled with doom, gloom and stories of Fidonet shrinking in
size. With exception for the Patrick Driscoll and Damian Stamm
who seem to have some faith left.
To all you 'Fidonet is shrinking'-proclaimers out there, I can
tell you that at least here in Zone2, the nodelist is still
growing. The growth of Z2 currently outweighs the shrinking
trend in Z1. Sadly, it seems that our diffs doesn't reach the
Z1 nodelist any more...
Another thing that seems to work better in Z2 than Z1 is netmail
routing. I've never had an intra-Z2 netmail disappear. True, it
might take a week or so for the netmail to reach it's
destination, but it gets there. And here in Region20, a routed
netmail most often reaches it's destination in less than 24
hours.
And again, I was surprised to hear about 'for-profit' cost
sharing operations... I can't imagine such a thing even being
thinkable here. We are all in this net to communicate with each
other, to help each other. At least I am. If someone tried a
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 11 18 Mar 1996
stunt like that here, someone else would simply take up the mail
feed somewhere else. I know I would. We have a cost sharing
plan going in my net, but that is distinctly non-profit oriented.
What all this suggests to me is that Bob Satti and the Z1 RCs
should take a long hard think through of what needs to be done
to reinstate Fidonet into the state it was from the beginning.
A place where we meet to discuss problems and help others solve
theirs, and not this selfish 'grab all I can' mentality that
seems to have taken over. It's very noticable here in R20 as
well, and I am saddened by it.
Conclusion: I don't think that Internet necessarily needs to be
the end for Fidonet. Fidonet is so much more than Internet.
Sure, Internet may have fast links, but it is also very
impersonal and barren. Fidonet has a great advantage in that it
has the local connection and friendliness of a nice
neighbourhood pub or restaurant, but with an international
cuisine on the menu as an added bonus.
As for the future, I think that a new Policy is long overdue,
but at the same time in reality unreachable unless we, the Fido
sysops, somehow bridge our differences and pull in one
direction, the only direction available, the one which contains
a meaningful future for Fidonet. Fidonet as we know it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The future of Fidonet
Lee Lefler (1:280/5)
It's not really anything new, but I don't agree with some
of your conclusions in a recent editorial. (Fido1309) Over the
years I have heard many rumors of the death of Fidonet. (Almost
as many rumors as there are about a certain operating system's
death) And two years ago I might have agreed with you that the
Internet would be the death of Fido. Now, having a lot more
experience with the Internet, to go with my 8 years of
experience with Fido, I no longer maintain that opinion. And
there are several reasons for thinking otherwise:
Internet technology is moving ahead while Fido remains
stagnant. Actually, there is very little new technology in the
Internet if you look at the big picture. TCP/IP is older than
many of the people who read Fidonews or access the Internet.
Old enough that we're facing a shortage of IP addresses and
fixing that problem may mean rebuilding the Internet from the
ground up. The Internet is also so far into the future that,
despite severe problems of limited bandwidth, the majority of
articles transmitted do so in an uncompressed form. The Web is
one of the few bleeding edge applications, and it adds a
tremendous load to the net while not really being all that
useful. And yes, using Internet Phone to make free long distance
calls is neat, but if I wanted to talk on the phone, I wouldn't
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 12 18 Mar 1996
be playing with computers in the first place.
Why should sysops pay to call out and pick up echomail
when you can get newsgroups (essentially) for free? Why should
it be an either/or situation. The Internet can be a medium for
transmitting Echomail just like it is for usenet. With
absolutely no modification of the current mail processing
software.
Having spent some time 'surfing the net', playing with the
web, FTPing the latest and greatest, and slogging my way through
various newsgroups, I can honestly tell you that Fido has things
to offer that Usenet doesn't want. And that's the real
comparison isn't it, Fido vs Usenet? Fido may have gone into
the file transfer business, but it is still a MAIL network.
I like the fact that Fido echos require moderators. I
don't always agree with them, but regardless of how you feel
about moderators they do maintain the quality of an echo. I
should also say here that I may be a little biased since I
moderate a Fido echo, but not because I enjoy doing it.
Well moderated Fido echos rarely have the 'my OS is better
than yours' debate that still rages on. Get a clue people, the
one that works for you is the best one. It's just software.
Fido doesn't get messages crossposted in every echo under
the sun. Echos, and newsgroups, have topics so that people can
select the ones that interest them, not so some individual can
have a multitude of chances to annoy everyone else.
Fido messages are also addressed TO someone. If we were
standing in a group and I was responding to you, I would be
looking AT you. Addressing my response TO you. Everyone else in
that group would be free to comment on the topic being discussed
at any time, but it would still be a focused conversation
between YOU and ME. Usenet is more like millions of people
standing on 18,000 soapboxes announcing their opinions. I'd
rather have conversations.
Here's the way I see it, Fido has gone through many
changes over the years. I can only comment on the ones I have
seen, but when I first joined Fidonet I used to keep the
nodelist ARChived on a 360k floppy. I have seen individuals
refuse to pay the freight to supply the rest of the net with
free echomail, and the birth of cost recovery plans. I have
seen a satellite company offer Fido traffic for what, at the
time, was an unbelievably small price. I have also seen Zone
1's backbone stars become Internet Service Providers and start
transferring all the Fido traffic via FTP.
I see the Internet as just another medium to advance my
hobby, Fidonet. There is no reason why Fido traffic cannot be
transferred across the Internet using (IMO) advanced Fido
mailers. I can do it now thanks to my operating system and Ray
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 13 18 Mar 1996
Guinn's VModem. I have a full TCP stack that I can connect to
the Internet on a whim, VModem allows me to redirect ANY
Mailer/Terminal/BBS to a virtual comport, and I can push that
data across the Internet to a similarly configured system or
Telnet daemon. And with a static IP I could hub mail for
systems anywhere in the world for the cost of a local Internet
connection.
So there's your migration path. Pick up a little new
software. Recruit a few mail hubs. And while you're at it, get
rid of some of these silly political boundaries that generate so
many amusing articles for you to publish. It costs no more to
feed mail to a system in Europe than it does to the guy next
door.
Internet isn't the death of Fido, it's a means to promote it.
Lee Lefler
Fido 1:280/5
infinity@sound.net
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Social Constipation Part XXVII
By The Closet Head
The Re-arrangement of Michael
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, here I find myself again wondering just who the heck
is our own worst enemy?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Just yesterday, I had to repair a toilet that had become a
pestering nuisance to my wife of 10 years and my two daughters,
aged eight and six.
See, in my house we have two toilets. One is sequestered
away and is "mommy's" bathroom. It is in the master bathroom and
is considered sacred ground. The other is the "house" bathroom,
and like many other homes found today is convenient to the
common areas of the house. It is in a hallway right off of the
living room. It's the one that all the guests have to use, or
they will intrude upon the lady's piles of Revlon and other
goops and secret potions and drying pantyhose in the "other
bathroom".
The problem was the toilet in the commons bathroom. It
leaked, it squealed, whined, squeaked, whistled and made a
curious fluttering noise that resembled a fart. It annoyed
everyone. I ignored it....promised to fix it, work on it....and
gave it the usual "ignore it til' you can't stand it anymore"
routine that we husbands and fathers learn as a matter of
survival. I ignored, the toilet squealed....I ignored, the
toilet whined...
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 14 18 Mar 1996
Finally, a week ago....February 16th, 1996 at 11:25AM, the
toilet could be ignored no more. It groaned heavily after my
youngest flushed a basketball-sized wad of paper down the
hole....It backed up for a second and then flushed it's last
load before the ballcock mechanism disintegrated into a heap of
polypropylene shards, spraying water onto the lid of the closet
and for all the world looking like Noah's flood was recurring in
my bathroom.
I waded in and shut down the water and handed my wife a pail
and a mop as I excused myself to go buy new replacement parts
for the toilet. She was not very happy about this, and still
isn't to this day.
That's where it got interesting. I jumped into my 91' Ford
Escort and revved up all 130 cubic inches of raw power that the
little station wagon had to muster and puttered off to the
Builder's Square to get my toilet things. I pulled into the
parking lot and then headed in to the store when all of a sudden
I was frozen into my tracks. I saw something I had seen before,
but it was just a little different. Not exactly the same, but an
incarnation or reincarnation of a distant memory.
The sign said "We test all applicants for illegal drugs. If
you do drugs we don't want you here." I was stunned. The sign
itself was easily 4 feet by 8 feet...with letters 6" tall
painted in a very loud orange with black outlines. Wow.
I found myself at a crossroad of life at that very moment,
at that very place in time...in the parking lot of a Builder's
Square, in need of a ballcock and spindle piece to please those
who love me....I found religion.
See, I have smoked marijuana all of my adult life. I have
smoked to relax for 28 years. During that time I have developed
a career and established a family, bought a home and quietly
gone on with having a life. I work hard, sometimes too much and
I bring home a decent income. I earn money and I spend
money....and a lot of it is spent on fixing up the home.
I decided that crossing the threshold of that store was the
same as sticking a knife into my own body, a form of
self-immolation and that I was actually paying for it. I
started to see the front of that store as a Mason-Dixon
line......a Berlin Wall.... a source of ultimate division. I
winced. I needed the toilet parts..in fact, I could hear them
inside the store calling to me. I wanted to go in, but I
couldn't.
For the first time since 1970, I felt a surge of life....a
breath of fresh air...a clear cut decision that I could make in
full faith and clear judgement. I got back in my car, started it
up and headed to Home Depot....only to be confronted with an
even larger sign of the same exact wording. On to Furrow's,
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 15 18 Mar 1996
McCoy's, Loew's...etc...etc.. same shit. It is absolutely
amazing how many chains of home stores there are in a town like
Houston.....and every goddamned one of them have big agressive
drug-signs just like Builder's Square.
Finally, I wheeled into a lumber yard/plumbing supply store
in desperation. As I approached the front, I examined all of the
signs, and the voodoo sign was not there. I actually finally
entered a building at 6:12PM, and behind the counter was a guy
named Al. Al was a head, it was obvious. He had the tell-tale
dead shirt on, the ponytail, the elaborate stereo cranking out
whining leads from Ten Years After. I knew his name was Al
because he wore a big red button that said "My name is Al".
"What can I do you for?" Al asked me. "I need a bullcock
whatchamajigger kit, Al" I replied. "My toilet exploded and it
developed into a shitty situation." Al sized me up in my jeans
and turtle shirt, sidewall haircut and greasy ballcap and
replied "Man, that's the pits.....$6.95 for the kit" and he
produced a complete toilet-gut kit. I grasped the plasticine
bubble in almost orgasmic adoration and then said "I'll take
two, Al."
"Why, man? You think another one is going out?" he said. "No
chances, Al. I have been looking all damn day for one of these
things. Hey, can I ask you something?" "Shoot" Al replied. "Do
you guys drug test your employees?" I asked, abruptly.
Al looked me over and started to sack up my purchase
seemingly ignoring my question and mulling it over when he
returned my question "Why, man?"
"Why am I asking or why test your employees?" I retorted.
"Yeah" he returned.
"I am not too thrilled with people abusing other people's
rights, Al. I mean that drug testing stuff. I don't like it. I
don't want to do business with anyone who is screwing over their
employees rights. As for why should you test your employees,
that is a good question....why do it? What's in it for you?" I
struck a pose of hardness, and then Al beamed at me with a big
smile..."Yeah, why?" he said. "You come back anytime, fellah.
You can spend your money here, no problem man. In fact, come on
back even if you aren't in the mood to shop."
I handed Al a twenty and he passed the sack of parts to
me.....and I turned to leave, stuffing the change in my pocket
without even counting...and then I did something I cannot
explain. I turned and looked Al straight in the eye and then
slowly raised my right hand into a fist...and I let out a rebel
yell..."right on, Al...let's take it on home now, brother." AL
returned my salute...the long-forgotten salute of my youth, the
hidden heart I had always had but pushed aside. I turned and I
left.
FidoNews 13-12 Page: 16 18 Mar 1996
In my car, on the way home my mind rambled back to my youth
in the early sixties....the first girl I kissed and groped, my
first surfboard, my first motorcycle, my first
job..........job....my first job. That was as a dishwasher at
the Rexall Drugstore in Eau Gallie, Florida. Yes, I remember.
Washing dishes, mopping floors, $1.44 an hour was big bucks back
then.....the sign. The sign.
The sign on the door of the Rexall said "We do not hire
communists or communist sympathyzers." Yeah, that sign.....and
the oath you had to sign, that you "were not nor never had been
a communist". Jesus, I had almost forgotten. The missiles, the
soldiers, Castro, the oath, the signs. It was the same, but
different...an incarnation or reincarnation of a distant
past....maybe not so distant after all, in the toss of life's
chips.
I stopped in a mom and pop convenience store to avoid the
7-11's and the Stop-N-Go's, McDonalds, Burger King who displayed
the offending signs. I found my choice easy as I scanned the
iced-down sodas and I grabbed a Coke and then thrust it onto the
counter for the lady to ring up. I pulled one of the dollars out
of my pocket and noticed that George Washington had a stamp on
his face like a thought balloon that said "I grew hemp." Al, you
old rascal.....bring it on home brother, bring it on home.
Wonder where I can get one of them stamps?
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Fidonews Information
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------- FIDONEWS MASTHEAD AND CONTACT INFORMATION ----------------
Editor: Donald Tees
Editors Emeritii: Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell,
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Tom Jennings, Sylvia Maxwell
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more addresses:
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FidoNews 13-12 Page: 17 18 Mar 1996
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