100 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
100 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
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=------------------------------------=
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= THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE FALCON =
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= PRESENTS: =
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= =
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= HOW TO RIP OFF YOUR LOCAL BANK =
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=------------------------------------=
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= WRITTEN BY: CONAN THE BARBARIAN =
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=------------------------------------=
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1] IF YOU HAVE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT GO
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TO STEP 2. IF NOT, THEN OPEN ONE
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AT A LOCAL BANK, AND DEPOSIT AT
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LEAST $100.
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2] FIRST LIE TO YOUR PARENTS SAYING
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SOMETHING LIKE "MOM, I'M GOING TO
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GO BUY MYSELF A NEW DISK DRIVE".
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MOM SAYS "WELL, HOW MUCH DOES IT
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COST?". YOU REPLY "OH I CAN GET ONE
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FOR ABOUT $100." MAKE SURE YOU
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ALWAYS DEDUCT ABOUT 1/2 OF THE
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ORIGINAL PRICE WHEN TELLING THE
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COST TO YOUR PARENTS.
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3] GO TO YOUR BANK AND WITHDRAW THE
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MONEY (THE REAL AMOUNT NEEDED).
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THE LITTLE LADY WILL MARK IN YOUR
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BANK BOOK UNDER "WITHDRAWALS" HOW
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MUCH YOU WITHDREW..SHE WILL DATE IT
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AND SIGN HER INITIALS.. GO SPEND
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THE MONEY ON WHATEVER YOU SAID
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YOU WERE GOING TO BUY...
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4] NOW TAKE YOUR BANK BOOK AND FIND
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WHERE THE BITCH RECORDED YOUR
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WITHDRAWAL...TAKE A PEN
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OF THE SAME COLOR AND CHANGE
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THE AMOUNT TO WHATEVER YOU TOLD
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YOUR PARENTS HOW MUCH YOU PLANNED
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ON SPENDING.
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-> MAKE IT LOOK RATHER SLOPPY <-
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5] NOW COMPLAIN TO YOUR PARENTS AND
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SHOW THEM THE RECORDED AMOUNT.
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MAKE SURE YOU BURN YOUR RECIEPT
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BEFORE DOING THIS. MOM SHOULD
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REMEMBER THE AMOUNT (LIE) YOU
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TOLD HER YOU WERE GOING TO SPEND.
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6] GET YOUR PARENTS TO GO TO YOUR
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BANK WITH YOU AND RAISE HELL!!
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NOTE: SOME BANKS HAVE CODES FOR
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WHEN A TELLER MAKES AN ERROR SHE
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WILL MARK A CERTAIN CODE IN THE
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BOOK..IF THIS HAPPENS SIMPLY STATE
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THAT SHE MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!
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7] WHEN THE BANK ASKS TO SEE YOUR
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RECEIPT, TELL THEM YOU LOST IT.
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IF THEY PURSUE THE MATTER FURTHER
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AND ATTEMPT TO CONTACT THE PLACE
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THAT YOU BOUGHT YOUR DRIVE FROM,
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TELL THEM THAT YOU OBTAINED IT
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THROUGH THE MAIL FROM SOMEONE YOU
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MET ON A COMPUTER BULLETIN BOARD
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SYSTEM...TELL THEM YOU DO NOT KNOW
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THE PERSONS NUMBER OR ANYTHING
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ABOUT THEM..EXCEPT THAT YOU SENT
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THE MONEY TO: "GIVE THEM THE
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ADDRESS OF A FELLOW PIRATE FRIEND
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WHO WILL LIE FOR YOU....
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8] THE BANK > WILL < APOLIGIZE AND
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REFUND YOU YOUR MONEY! IF THEY
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DON'T TELL THEM YOU ARE OPENING
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A NEW ACCOUNT AT A DIFFERENT BANK
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AND YOU ARE CONTACTING YOUR LAWYER.
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IF THEY STILL DO NOT REFUND YOU
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THEN YOU HAD BETTER FIND A FILE
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ON "HOW TO BLOW UP A BANK".
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9] WARNING!! DO THIS ONCE IN A LIFE-
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TIME...IF IT BECOMES A PART OF
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YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE THEN PEOPLE
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WILL BECOME SUSPICOUS!...
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=-------------------------------------=
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CALL:
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THE BARBARIAN'S KEEP AE
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[619-561-9430]
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'STYGIA'
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THE FRONT LINE AE
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[714-963-5752]
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'COMBAT'
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=-------------------------------------=
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