textfiles/anarchy/MISCHIEF/school.ana

L$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$D
$				      $
D The Complete Guide to School Terror L
L		by		      D
$   Thomas Covenant and Xerox Zeke    $
D				      L
L$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$DL$D

  Note:  This opening banner is referenced to the drug LSD, and is not meant to
rip off the Legion of Doom.

#######################################
# Call these mega-important boards:   #
#				      #
#  The Broadway Show	[][][][][][]  #
#  718-615-0580 	[\/ tWOF \/]  #
#			[/\ tCOS /\]  #
#  Stronghold North	[][][][][][]  #
#  612-588-7856 		      #
#				      #
#######################################

Part I: Basic Theory of Terrorism
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  This file and its contents are by no means meant for anyone other than the
serious anarchist.  By this we mean the person who has been going to school for
at least half of his/her life and then realizing the true worthlessness of the
American school system:  i.e., the fact that it represses creativity, destroys
imagination, and screws you up for the rest of your natural life.  (Unless you
are the type of person who ENJOYS the school ha what a laugh, in which case you
should throw away this file and go jump off a high place.)

  The authors of this file have decided not to put in any sort of disclaimer,
due to the fact that A) Disclaimers are of no use and will not help you in the
least if you are really busted, and B) We don't really care if we are
responsible or not for your actions.  Far from it.  As a matter of fact, we
whole-heartedly reccommend them.

Part II: The Golden Rule
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  Actually, there are two golden rules to follow when terrorizing a school.  One
is that you must do unto others before they do you.  Two is that, no matter what
this file reccommends, you will never go wrong if you follow your heart and use
your imagination.  These two qualities will be of more use to you than any file
could possibly be.  With that said, let's get going.

Part III: Beginning terrorism
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  Your basic goal is to spread chaos and disorder throughout the entire school,
but the best place to begin is in your own classroom.  Here, you will find hall
passes, absence excuse sheets, and many other things that the school uses to
control you.  Steal these and give them away.  If you're mercenary, sell them.
But do NOT use them yourself!  It's very un-anarchistic to profit from this sort
of thing.  Your goal is to introduce a thing called FREEDOM, not to make your
life easier like the bloated capitalist pigs who are controlling you...
Changing grades is another thing.  You can give that little freshman geek who
sits next to you and gets all A's and sucks up to the faculty a big F.  Watch
him squirm.  As before, don't give your self an A.  Don't even change your own
grade!	Everyone else's is fair play.  Besides, that takes suspicion off of
you...	Now for more physical stuff.  Krazy Glue has unlimited possibilities
when it comes to school fun.  You can glue the teachers' desk drawers shut, or
if you're dexterous enough, glue her body to her chair.  Also, glue things to
the walls.  We don't mean ordinary things here, we mean stuff like CHAIRS,
TABLES and PEOPLE.  (It's one way of mounting your trophies without ruining
them.) Stretch fishing wire across the outside of a classroom door just before
the end of sixth hour on a Friday, and watch the fireworks.

Part IV: Getting Downright Nasty
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  Coat the insides of peoples' underwear with NAIR hair remover.  You will see
quite a lot of uncomfortable faces.  Get some snakebite antidote, making sure
its the "harmless" kind.  Drink it all down, walk into the principals' office,
and puke your guts out all over him and his office.  Apologize profusely.  Buy a
few family-size bottles of floor wax and empty them all over the halls.  (Make
sure to leave yourself a clear space to escape!) Open up the ceiling and stick
dead animals inside.  Open up someone's locker and put LIVE animals inside.  For
added effect, make sure they have eaten a while before.

Part V: Bathroom Fun
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  We were going to put this up there, but we decided that this subject needed a
section of its own.  Bathrooms are neat places.  Hardly anyone ever uses them
for their intended purpose.  Girls use them to gossip, boys use them to smoke,
and we're quite sure they've been used to masturbate on occasion.  (Not that we
are accusing either class.) Smoke bombs are fun to use.  For a real treat, get
the kind that smell like burning marijuana.  Blow up a balloon, seal it, and
flush it down a toilet.  Bring about 50 boxes of JELL-O (tm) to school and fill
the toilets with it.  It takes about 30 minutes to solidify if its not stirred
(and who's going to stir it?  Not I...) Or, use the toilet without flushing it,
and THEN add the JELL-O.  Write your favorite phrases all over the walls.  An
oldie but goodie is:  "FUCK THE WORLD!  ANARCHY RULES!" Or advertise your
favorite musical group.  Coat the toilet seats with Vaseline or some equally
greasy substance.  Use any kind of bomb to explode the toilet.	See g-files such
as CHEMICAL CORNER and HOME DEMOLITIONS for details on the best compact bombs.

Part VI: Definitely Not for Weaklings
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  Find some way to get into your school at night, and the world is your oyster!
A friend of mine told me how her mother when she was going to high school, got
hold of some pigs, painted the names of some obnoxious faculty members on their
sides, and let them loose in the school to roam and play for the weekend.  Those
pigs did EVERYthing and then some.  They got shit tracked all through the halls,
they ate up a big shipment of cafeteria food, and in general had a high old
time.  Now THAT is what I call classic.  Any animal will do as long as it is a
very curious and large one.  If you have the nerve, piss in your pants while
giving an oral report or rehearsing for a play.  Shave your head.  Or better
yet, shave someone else's head.  Replace the American flag with one of your own
devising.  Use your imagination here.  Pretend to sell oregano and aspirin with
the name rubbed off at lunchtime in sight of a teacher.  Pretend to have an
epileptic fit.	Get up on top of the school and keep warning them that you'll
jump unless the letter "M" is stricken from the English language.  Pretend to
shoot up while being watched by some asshole faculty member.  Ask to make a
phone call from a teacher who has his/her own phone in the room.  Phreak with a
box that is easily traced and tip off Ma Bell.	If Ma doesn't believe it's a
teacher, tell her it's " " (put in the name of some geek you despise.)

Part VI: In Conclusion
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  Watch for PART II of the Complete Guide coming soon.	Don't take any wooden
nickels.  Practice what you preach.  Pass this file around and encourage your
friends to do the same.  Give me all your money.

---------------------------------------
Don't forget to call the STRONGHOLD
EAST ELITE at 516-549-0268: LOGIN:
SUPERSCAM
---------------------------------------
(c) 1985
A Three Sheets to the Wind Production

/\_________________________________________________________________________/\
\/									   \/

#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#
|				      |
| The Complete Guide to School Terror |
|	     Part II		      |
|		by		      |
|   Thomas Covenant and Xerox Zeke    |
|    With help from the Lich Lord     |
|				      |
#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#

  Note:  Since the Legion of Doom was complaining about our last opening banner,
we changed it.	There!	Happy?

***************************************
* Call these other mega-importants:   *
* P@^_;Hf			    *
*   The Twilight Zone	[][][][][][]  *
*   203-464-6497	[\/ tWOF \/]  *
*			[/\ tCOS /\]  *
*   K-O Alliance	[][][][][][]  *
*   203-233-8975		      *
*				      *
***************************************

Part I: School Computer Fun
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  Author's note:  The following tricks apply only to the Apple computer when
referencing the slots and internals.

  If your school has computers, endless possibilities await you.  The disks can
be put in fMdeways if you are strong, which does incredible wonders for the
reader head, which is now attempting to read off the coarse plastic jacket.  Put
disks in upside down.  Most schools will experiment with various parts of
printers, and printers are stupid.  One of my favorite tricks is to feed normal
paper into a thermal printer.  The result is an incredible display of fireworks,
and the paper is crispy-fried to a beatiful jet-black.	This will vary according
to printer type.  Slip a small magnet (we reccommend cobalt, as they are very
powerful for their size) into the disk drive.  Let it fall down into the dust
catcher where it will go unnoticed.  I don't even need to explain what this one
does.  Then there's our old friend Krazy Glue.  This wonderful substance will
screw up disk drives more than the school screws you up in a year.  Or, gently
squeeze a floppy disk so there is some space to fit something in, and let fall a
few drops of glue.  The disk will never spin again.  Play frisbee with disks
during lunch hour.  Sector editors can be used to great advantage on
school-owned disks.  Some things to do are:  Insert a bunch of "Kracked by:"
notices and tip off the software company that the school is using pirated
software, put your worst enemys' name(s) on it and say "Fuck with this disk and
you die faggot!!" Then let a teacher use it.  Another favorite of mine which I
have used quite often is to strategically rearrange the cards in the slots.  Try
putting the modem card, if there is one into the disk slot and vice versa.  Drop
in a metal paperclip on two close diodes.  Instant light show.	Can you break
into the disk drive?  Re- place the reader head with either A) a magnet, or B)
an extremely sharp object.  Now for the keyboard:  A great source of confusion
and one of the least harmful tricks is to disconnect the keyboard from the rest
of the computer.  Access it through the back.  On the lower righthand side (when
looking down) is a plug coming from the 'board.  Remove this, and if the
computer teacher is dumb (and did you ever know one who wasn't?) there will be a
$500 repair bill coming to the school.	If you are cruel, and don't have any
table manners, eat a peanut butter and jelly/marshmallow/potato chip sand- wich
directly over the keyboard.  The next user has a major mess to clean up.  Buy
the little tabs used for covering electrical wire which have unending hold on
plastic.  Place one of these over each key on the 'board (two for the larger
keys).	This will result in the members of the school not being able to type,
but waste their time trying to figure out which key is which.  The Monitor:  If
you can get into the side of the monitor, turn the contrast way down and
disconnect the wires that control it.  This can be used in any button:
brightness, v-hold, h-hold, etc.  Watch the repair money flow out of the school
and into the computer owner's pockets!  And of course there is always just plain
blowing the damn things up or stealing them.

Part II: Underground Newspapers
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  An underground newspaper can be your best friend if used correctly.  To make
and distribute mine, I use a NewsRoom type dealie, make up one copy, and have it
bulk-photocopied for only a penny a page!  At that rate, I can sell it for as
much as the regular school paper and still make a profit.  What to have in an
underground paper:  -Funny stuff.  Humorous.  This one goes without saying.
Write your own stuff, such as Benny Hill type stuff or satire or maybe even
Monty Python type stuff.  -Advertisements.  These can be BBS ads, coupons if you
want to think big, or really just about anything.  You can always rely on the
punkers at your school for concert advertisements, and they will quite possibly
ask for a subscription at the same time.  -Anarchy!  Also goes without saying.
Stuff such as what we have in here, chemical corner, The Wild Phreaks' Course in
Home Demolitions, or phone phreaking will be ideal.  -Editorials.  Anyone with
half a brain can write these, all they have to do is pick a teacher or faculty
member that they absolutely DESPISE, down half a keg of beer, and wax eloquent
on just exactly why such-and-such is the most incredible dick in the universe.
How to write:  I personally reccommend NewsRoom for its pictures, as I often
have short stories in my paper.  At the bare mini- mum, however, you will need a
good word processor and a respectable artist to draw in the margins (or
full-page car- toons, as I have done.)

Part III: Spreading the Word
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  How to spread the gospel of anarchy:	-Write an essay with spray paint on the
walls of the school (inside or outside) making sure to wear gloves.  -Pass this
file around to all of your friends that have computers.  -Start up the newspaper
and pass that around for your friends who don't.  -Seize the PA system and
produce your own radio show expounding the virtues of anarchy.	-Hack a
CompuServe account and send mail to all users with whatever message you wich to
spread.

Part IV: Conclusion
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  Well, that's all for now.  Until Part 3, it's goodbye from:

Thomas Covenant -- Editor and typer
Xerox Zeke	-- Asst Editor
The Lich Lord -- Contributor to the Computer Fun section

  Note:  Watch for a supplement to these files coming soon, called:

TYPEWRITER FUN

---------------------------------------
This file and all other parts are
(c) 1985
A Three Sheets to the Wind Production

/\___________________________________________________________________________/\
\/									     \/

[~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]
[		    The Complete Guide to School Terrorism		      ]
[									      ]
[    Volume 3			   by			      Now 80 Columns  ]
[									      ]
[			Thomas Covenant and Xerox Zeke			      ]
[			      Anarchy Unlimited 			      ]
[-----------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[		   Call these mega-important boards:			      ]
[							     [][][][][][]     ]
[      The Broadway Show: 718-615-0580			     [\/ tWOF \/]     ]
[      The Twilight Zone: 201-464-6497			     [/\ tCOS /\]     ]
[      Stronghold North : 618-588-7856			     [][][][][][]     ]
[      Stronghold East	: 516-549-0268					      ]
[									      ]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part One: Hello Again!
----------------------

  Yes, once again we have come out of the woodwork to terrorize and spread the
gospel of anarchy throughout the United State's public school system.  [Note:
if you go to a private school, nothing as drastic as what we describe here is
needed.  Private schools will surrender much more easily.] We hope you enjoyed
and/or understood the first two files in this series, because it gets worse.
MUCH worse...

Part Two: Disclaimer
--------------------

  There is no disclaimer in this file for the reasons stated in Volume One:  A)
Disclaimers don't help you in the least if you're busted, and B) we ARE
responsible for your actions, and whole-heartedly recommend them.  That's what
we're here for.  Just don't get your head blown off, that's all we ask.

Part Three: Basic Nervousness
-----------------------------

  Stuff in this category is basically just harmless pranks that let the assholes
know that SOMEone is after their ass, and also gets a good laugh.  Taking all
the doorknobs off the doors is good.  But where do you put them?  Open up
someone's locker (see the file MASTER LOCK PICKING by Metal Shop for details)
and put them in there just in case.  There is almost nothing more harmless and
freaky than to see no doorknobs anywhere in the school "At a predetermined time"
stuff is old, but still a good idea.  There's spitting during assembly, getting
up in the middle of class, walking to the window and putting your fist through
it, or lighting up a cigarette.  But you deserve a break today, so why not make
it a joint.  Remember:	Have EVERYone do this!	It confuses the teachers so they
don't know who to bust, and they end up busting some poor little geek who was
sitting in the back row the whole time staring and drooling.  Besides, it's no
fun being busted alone.  Does your school use taped announcements?  Replace it
with something along the lines of "Satan rules, he will fuck your mothers" at a
high volume.  Hey, almost anything will work as long as it's loud, obnoxious,
crude, and will get laughs.  I should add here that if it makes the other
students (read:  prisoners) laugh, then it's good.  Laughter disrupts the
faculty and gets them really pissed, they don't like to see kids having a good
time.  Can you get into the air-conditioning system?  Pipe gas through it.
Chlorine gas (poisonous; make w/chlorine bleach and ammonia) goes to the
teacher's lounge, laughing gas (nitrous oxide; dentists use it) goes to all the
classrooms.  Ever seen a teacher gibber in fear and frustration?  I have...

Part Four: Favorite Explosives
------------------------------

  Before I get started with this section, I would like to express great thanks
and appreciation to The Wild Phreak for most of the following information.
Merry Christmas, guy, wherever you are.  Okay, as mentioned in the previous
chapter, explosives etc.  have a wide variety of uses.	We covered some of them
previously, now it's time to tell you how to make these wonderful substances.
First off on our list is ignitors.  A lot of explosives are 100% useless without
ignitors, as they require a very high temperature to go off.  Here are two of
the most basic ones.

Potassium Chlorate/Sugar Ignitor

Materials checklist:

[ ]  Potassium Chlorate
[ ]  Granulated table sugar
[ ]  Measuring container
[ ]  Mixing container w/tight fitting lid
[ ]  Storage container as above
[ ]  Two flat boards, one of which can be held comfortably in the hand, such {as
     a square block or rolling pin, and one very large ( 36" x 36" is good.)

Procedure checklist:

[ ] 1.	Spread a handful at a time of the P.C. on the large flat board and rub
	with the other flat board  until the large particles resemble sugar.
[ ] 2.	Measure two parts by volume of granulated sugar into a mixing contain-
	er with a tight-fitting lid, then add three parts by volume of P.C.
[ ] 3.	Secure the lid tightly, and shake the mixture for about five minutes to
	mix thoroughly.
[ ] 4.	Store the ignitor in a waterproof container until ready to use. Before
	using, shake again to remix any settled particles.

*CAUTION* This mixture is extremely spark and flame sensitive. Use accordingly.

Well, we'll come back to this later when I find that stupid printout that I
seem to have misplaced. For now, let's learn all about...

Part Five: Car Disabling
------------------------

For use on the teacher's car, principal's car, janitor's car, etc.

When you do something like this, you do it all the way. You can:

A) Remove a spark plug, fill the cylinder with gunpowder or a similar substance,
   and replace the plug. When the car is started, the cylinder blows, disabling
   the car until the block is replaced.
B) Go to the store and get a pint of raw linseed oil (cheap). Then, at night, or
   at least inconspicuously, open the gas tank and pour the oil in. When the car
   is started, the oil travels to the engine, carried by the gas flow. There, in
   the intense heat, it breaks down into a thick gummy substance which will make
   the car stall. Since this takes about 10-20 minutes of driving to do, it is
   impossible to determine when the sabotage was performed.
C) Perform (B) above, using shellac instead of linseed oil. This will so foul
   the engine, combined with the thick, black clouds of smoke rolling from the
   exhaust, that the car looks as if it's about to blow. A little bit of flair
   for you more spectacular types.
D) Mostly a minor annoyance, but still fun, is to drop a ping-pong ball in the
   gas tank. Every so often, it gets sucked against the intake and makes the
   car stall. When the car stops, the ball falls away and the car is fine. You
   start the car and drive away, same thing happens...guaranteed to drive the
   average person loony in 30 minutes or less.
E) Take a lot of gas and, using a big syringe, squirt it up the exhaust pipe.
   MAKE SURE IT IS COLD! Then, when the car starts, the gas should ignite and
   cause serious problems to anyone in back of the car. You'd be in trouble,
   too, if huge rockets of flame came shooting out at you...

Sigh...that elusive printout is somewhere here on this desk but I just can't
find it right now! Fuck it, it's almost 2 in the morning and I don't feel like
looking for it anyway. See you in the funny papers.

Until Part Four, its So Long fzOZ:
      Thomas Covenant
	   and
	 Xerox Zeke!

(c) 1985
A Three Sheets to the Wind Production

/\_________________________________________________________________________/\
\/									   \/

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
[		   The Complete Guide to School Terrorism		      ]
[									      ]
[  Volume Four			    by			      Eighty Columns  ]
[									      ]
[			Thomas Covenant and Xerox Zeke			      ]
[			      Anarchy Unlimited 			      ]
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

  Special Notice:  In Volume One, we told you how to clog up toilets with
Jell-O.  Well, I have been informed since by Mad Hacker that a substance called
Guar Gum will work fifty times as well.  It costs approx.  $7.50 a pound, and a
pound will last you half a lifetime.  Go to it!

Part One: Greetings
-------------------

  Well, it seems we've acquired a loyal following!  I've found that of all five
boards I upload this series to regularly, four out of the five request that I
keep it up!  We, the authors, thank you for your support, and wish you all a
very merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

Part Two: Large-Scale Demolition
--------------------------------

  Sooner or later, you get tired of all the old stuff.	Your life becomes bland
and boring, totally insipid.  Giving snuggies to freshmen slowly seems to be
losing the appeal it once had, and even spiking the prom punch bowl with arsenic
isn't any fun.  You have reached the point of no return.  There's only one cure
at this point:	Blowing up the whole fucking school!

  "But whoa!" you exclaim at this point.  "If I blow up the school, I won't have
any place to go and do these wonderful things at anymore!"

  Well, we say, so what?  School is a total waste anyway the way it is now.
With a littl bit of luck, you will force the administration to rebuild all
schools for miles around and start over.  Until then, we will continue this
series in a slightly different format:	"The Complete guide to Terrorism." With
that said, let's blow the fucker into a pile of smoldering rubble.

  The best way to go about this, besides nitroglycerin, is Dust Explosives.

  A dust explosive is a large area filled with a suspension of a dry, dusty
material that when ignited burns with extreme rapidity, causing a large fire-
ball to occur.	When confined, as in a building (like school) the effect is to
blow out the walls and ceiling.  The unit described below is sufficient to
completely destroy a 2000 cubic foot enclosure (building 10x20x10 feet).  Modify
this as necessary; for larger enclosures, use proportionately larger initiators
and charges (i.e., 1:1?  2:2 or 3:3).

  Dust Explosive Initiator:

Material Checklist

[ ] Flat can, about 3" in diameter by 1.5" high. A 6.5 oz. tuna can works well.
[ ] Blasting cap
[ ] Explosive (coming in part 5)
[ ] Aluminum (wire, cut sheet, or powder)
[ ] Large nail (4" long)
[ ] Flour, gasoline, and powdered or chipped aluminum

Procedure Checklist

[ ] Using the nail, press a hole through the side of the tuna can 3/8 to 1/2
    inch from the bottom. Rotate it and lever it around so as to enlarge the
    hole until it can accommodate the blasting cap.
[ ] Place the wooden rod in the hole and position the end of the rod at the
    center of the can.
[ ] When done, remove comdom, rolling at ends while removing to reduce chance
    of sperm escaping.
(Whoops! Just wanted to see if you were paying attention...)
[ ] Press explosive into the can, making sure to surround the rod, until it is
    3/4" from the top of the can. Carefully remove the wooden rod so as not to
   $$Zsturb the channel it made in the explosive.
[ ] Place the aluminum metal or powder on top of the explosive.
[ ] Just before use, insert the blasing cap into the cavity left by the rod. The
    initiator is ready for use.

HOW TO USE:

This particular unit, described to me by the Wild Phreak, works quite well to
ignite charges of 5 pounds flour, 1/2 gallon of gasoline or two pound of flake
painters aluminum. The solid materials may merely be contained in sacks or card-
board cartons. The gasoline may be placed in plastic coated paper milk cartons,
or plastic or glass bottles. The charges are placed directly on top of the
initiator and the blasting cap is actuated electrically or by fuse depending on
the type of cap.

Note: Use flour and gasoline intermixed. The gas insures complete ignition of
      the flour.

Put it all in a cardboard box, and place the box Ycy.np of the initiator, with
the charges directly above, or as near as possible.

Watch for Part Five coming soon to a BBS near you!

   Thomas Covenant
	and
     Xerox Zeke!

(c)1985
A Three Sheets to the Wind Production