454 lines
25 KiB
Plaintext
454 lines
25 KiB
Plaintext
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Ruining Peoples' Lives
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Ruining Someone's Life
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Written by RedBoxChiliPepper on August 9, 1992
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Last Revision on October 23, 1994
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Revenge and getting even have always been my most favorite things to do
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even way back in grade school so, of course, I have a very extensive mental
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list on how to really get back at people and make their life a living hell.
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We all have people we hate and would like to see 'em suffer for a little
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while. Maybe your boss for firing you or giving you shitty hours? The big guy
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in school who's always giving you a hard time? Your girlfriend for dumping you
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so she can become a lesbian? You get the idea. In my explanations I'll use the
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sample name "Chris Tomkinson" as the guy we're going to cactus. A totally
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random name, of course.
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Now if you decide to try all these methods at once you'll probably drive him
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totally insane and over the edge of reality. Besides, you don't want to send
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him a billion magazines at the same time you've forwarded all of his mail to
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Africa so get your timing right so you can effectively drive him crazy. A lot
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of my ideas focus on humiliating him with friends and family. When you can
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get other people to hate him for things you're doing to him, that means
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you're getting good at what you do.
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Some of the things described in here require you to know a little more
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information on your victim than you would usually know. Try reading the file
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called PLA019.TXT on ways to obtain priviledged information. Remember that this
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entire file is purely for informational uses. I only expect you to use this information so
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you'll know what to expect if you piss me off.
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Cancel His Membership:
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A video card is something that almost everyone has and uses frequently. Get
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your yellow pages out and call up every video store you can find. When they
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answer throw them a line like, "Hi, this is Chris Tomkinson. My video cards
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were stolen today and I wanted you to cancel my membership there. It turns out
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we're moving out of state forever next month anyway so I'll never be in there
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again anyway."
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When they hear that someone's stolen your card, of course they'll cancel it
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right away. When you tell them you're going out of town for good, there's
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really no reason for them to keep your name in the computer so they just
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completely delete you. When Chris goes in the store to check out a movie, his
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name won't show up anywhere as if he never even had a membership there and he
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has to apply for a card again, which is, in my opinion, a pain in the ass.
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Make sure to call up all the video stores. If you want to be really mean, you
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can cancel his mom and dad's cards too. That way he won't be able to use
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theirs' either. If he's the type of person to use the library alot, call the
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library and cancel his card there, too.
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Cancel His Credit Cards:
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There's an 800 number for just about every credit card out there that you can
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use to cancel your card if it's lost or stolen. Within a few minutes of
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calling this number, their credit cards will be useless. Just make up a story
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like, "Yeah, I'm on vacation here in Seattle and my whole wallet was stolen
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with my Mastercard in it. Could you cancel that before someone uses it?"
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Pretend to be really worried about having to pay for charges you didn't make
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and so on.
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They might want some extra information like the name of the bank which issued
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your card. You can guess or tell them you have no idea. (Unless you actually
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know which bank it is.) The Mastercard dude will want your driver's license
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number or social security number sometimes, but tell him you don't know
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either one because your wallet was stolen, dammit!
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To cancel your Visa, call 1-800-336-8472
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To cancel your Mastercard, 1-800-999-0454
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For Discover, 1-800-347-2683
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If you know of any gas cards he uses, get the numbers to cancel those, too.
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There's nothing more embarrassing that filling up your tank with super
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unleaded gasoline and finding out that all your credit cards, gas cards and
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ATM card have been mysteriously reported stolen. Who knows, the clerk might
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even call the police on him.
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Cancel His Phone Cards:
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Again, the exact same proceedure. Say you're on vacation and all your calling
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cards were stolen. All they'll ask for is your home phone number and the cards
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are usually disconnected within four hours. Tell the lady that you really
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never use that card anyway so there's no need to issue a new one. This way,
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Chris won't know his cards are bad until he needs to use them.
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U.S.Sprint 1-800-877-4646
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AT&T 1-800-662-6214
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M.C.I. 1-800-950-5555
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Newspaper Classifieds:
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Almost every newspaper out there lets you call in the ad you want to have in
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the paper and then they send you a bill for it. In other words, it's free.
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Look in your local paper and judging from the ads that are in there, think up
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something that would be a really hot item to sell such as a house for rent.
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(Houses and cars usually get the best results.)
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Call the paper and tell them that you're Chris Tomkinson and you want to put an
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ad in the paper. Have something ready like, "Nice 3 bedroom, 2 bath, garage,
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den, dining room, great neighborhood, $300/month, $200/deposit." Compare your
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ad to the others in the "For Rent" section and be sure that yours is the very
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best deal in there.
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As a phone number to call to inquire about the house, leave two. "Call Chris
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Tomkinson anytime 24 hrs at 635-8312 or 635-9207." The first being his work
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phone number and the second being his home. Now when an awesome deal like
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you've put in the paper is seen, it gets a tremendous response. I'm talkin'
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about his telephone ringing constantly for two days straight at the least.
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He'll get in big trouble with his boss at work for recieving 2 billion calls.
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Even if he's able to convince his boss that he wasn't responsible, he'll
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still look bad. I mean, what would your boss think about all this happening?
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If he lives with his parents, he'll probably get in trouble with them too.
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Messing With His Phone Service:
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My all time favorite, disconnecting his service. First, call the billing
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office and have his line password protected. This means that anyone wanting
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to make any changes in his service will have to give the operator a password
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that you'll choose. Sometimes the operator will want to call back and verify
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that it's really Chris. Tell her that you're never home when they're open and
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she'll say "no problem" and ask for his social security number. If you know
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it, give it to her. If not, go crawl under something and die or go to the next
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step.
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A few days after you've password protected the line, call the billing office
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again and tell them that you've moved out of the house already and you need
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the phone disconnected. They'll ask you for the password and disconnect the
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service, asking where you want the last bill sent to. Give them an address
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out of state.
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Now after Chris's line goes dead he's going to have one hell of a time
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convincing the billing office to hook it back up because you've password
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protected his line. He really has no way of proving that he is who he says he
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is because he doesn't have that password. You do.
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Harrassing Other People:
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You can really get people annoyed at Chris if you call them up about five
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times a day, state his name and hang up. You can do this to his employer, his
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school, his friends, his family, anyone he knows, even the police station or
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businesses that he goes to often.
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In your spare time when you're bored, pull out your list of phone numbers
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related to Chris, dial one at random and when the person on the other end
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answers say, "Chris Tomkinson", listen for the reply and hang up. Pretty soon
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people are going to start to despise that name.
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If you know of a store that Chris shops at frequently and writes checks at,
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call that store a few times a day and say his name. The clerk will immediately
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recognize his name when Chris writes him a check and will probably ask him
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about it. And I know his boss would get annoyed at ten calls a day that simply
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state Chris's name and hang up. Pretty soon Chris's boss is going to be sorry
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he hired him.
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Police Blotter:
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Check your newspaper's police blotter and front page every night for a major
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theft that's occured in the neighborhood. Something like, car stereos being
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stolen or maybe a school being broken into and computer equipment being
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stolen.
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Call the police station from a pay phone. "Hello, I want to make an annonymous
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call about the theft the other night involving the car stereo. Uh, I know who
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the guy is and he's been stealing car stereos and radar detectors ever since
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I've known him. I'm just starting to feel sorry for the people he's ripping
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off and want you to stop him but I don't want him to know who I am or he'll
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beat me up." Sound really whiney and nervous, "His name is Chris Tomkinson and
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he lives at (wherever). He keeps all the stuff he steals either hidden in his
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closet or hooked up in his room and most of it all still has the serial
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numbers on them..."
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You get the idea. The police will want to move in on this horrible criminal
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and will probably get a search warrant so they can look for evidence. I did
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this to one guy and they didn't get a warrant but the kid's mom just let them
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in his room while he was at school. They ripped his room apart looking for
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stolen stereo equipment and didn't find anything. They created quite a mess
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from what I heard, though.
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The Yellow Pages:
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This is probably one of the best things to do and can even become a major
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news event in your area. You pull out the 'ole phone book and open it up to
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the yellow pages. Now, starting from the letter "A" and working all the way
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to "Z" call up every single business in the book. Set up an appointment with
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every company in there for (example) Wednesday morning at about 10:00. Give
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yourself a few days to do it all and get all the appointment as close together
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as you can.
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You can probably see what's going to happen. Wednesday morning at 10:00 his
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street is going to be totally filled up with a truck from every business in
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the entire area. From exterminators to furnace repair to roofing estimates,
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they'll all be there asking for Chris. (Try to make sure he's going to be
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home when they come.)
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On Wednesday morning you'll want to make some calls. At 9:30 call up every
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pizza delivery place in the area and have a couple large pizzas sent to Chris.
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After that, call up all the taxi cabs and instruct them to come to your house
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to take you shopping.
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Tuesday night you'll also want to make some calls. Every T.V. station and
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newspaper in the area will want to know that "something big is going to
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happen on Sullivan street" in the morning. Don't tell them what, just tell
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them that they'd be stupid not to get coverage on something like this. Also
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call up all your friends and have them call up their friends. Instruct them
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all to show up on Sullivan street at about 9:45 am.
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As this will be an historical moment, bring a video camera and tape the whole
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event just in case you're not happy with the camera work of the T.V. stations.
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You might want to call in a false report to the fire department that Chris's
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house is on fire just to get them there and add to the confusion.
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I have done this only on a much smaller scale. I skimmed through the yellow
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pages and pick out about 30 business to show up at a victim's house and did
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the pizza a fire truck thing but the media never got involved. There was
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quite a traffic jam on his street with just those few trucks there and I can
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imagine what it would look like with 10 times more and a camera crew.
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Magazine Subscriptions:
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The time-honored tradition of giving Chris a subscription to every magazine
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that was ever made. Go to your library and rip out those little subscription
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cards out of each one. If a librarian asks you what the hell your doing tell
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her to go piss up a flagpole and continue your task.
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Now take this big stack of cards home and fill them all out in Chris's name
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and send them in. Almost every one of the cards will already have the postage
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paid for so you won't have to worry about the cost of stamps.
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Now me, I could care less if someone did that to me. I would get a little
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pissed off, though, if someone were to use my name on the subscription cards
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and send them to my friends or employers. So try this. He'll get a couple
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issues of each magazine until they get pissed off that he's not paying for
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them and stop his subscription. For a few months after that they'll harrass
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him about paying for the magazines he ordered but he won't get into any kind
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of trouble because of it.
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Some magazines let you use a credit card to pay for the subscription. Use
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someone else's card and when the owner of the card gets his bill, they'll
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investigate it and eventually narrow it down to Chris's address.
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Ruin His Credit:
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Drive to a city where nobody will know you or Chris. Check yourself into a
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hospital emergency room complaining of sudden chest pains and really severe
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headaches. Before they're able to treat you they'll have you fill out a few
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hospital forms. Put your name in there as Chris Tomkinson and use his social
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security number, address and phone number. If you can, try to forge his
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signature if you know what it looks like.
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They'll look you over, maybe take a blood sample, an x-ray or two and they'll
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tell you your fine. After they've done a lot to you, tell them you're feeling
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much better and it must have all been in your head. Go home.
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In a couple of weeks, the hospital is going to start sending Chris a bill for
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a couple thousand dollars. (Hospitals are extremely expensive.) They usually
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send only two notices before they turn the matter over to a collection agency
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who will call Chris every couple days and ask him why he hasn't paid his bill
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yet. They'll also threaten to "take legal action" and so on. If Chris tries to
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explain to them that he never went to that hospital, they'll assume he's
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lying. They hear that excuse every day.
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Collection agencies are full of shit. They can't really do anything to you
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except send you notices but when you refuse to pay them you're screwing up
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your credit rating. I know a lot about collection agencies seeing as I never
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pay my bills. I went to a hospital once for strep throat and they bothered me
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about it for two years after that.
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Hit And Run:
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Just like the police blotter deal, find someone who is a victim of a hit and
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run. Call the person or the police and make an annonymous report that you were
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there when it happened and you saw the license plate on the car. Give them
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Chris's plate number.
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Mail Forwarding:
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There's a million little tricks you can play on people with those mail
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forwarding cards you get at the post office. Here are some ideas.
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o Forward all of Chris's mail to London, England.
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o Forward all of Chris's grandparents mail to Chris's house.
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o Forward all of Chris's mail to his place of employment. His boss will get
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really irked when Chris starts receiving mail there.
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o Forward his best friend's mail to Chris's home.
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o Forward his mail to his school.
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o Forward his mail to the police station.
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o Forward his boss's mail to Asia.
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Have AT&T Investigate Him:
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Using a stolen calling card number, call Chris constantly at his home from a
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pay phone and keep him on the line as long as you can. Only call Chris with
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this card. When AT&T sees that he's getting all these fraudulent calls,
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they'll ask him about it. Just make sure you don't call from your own phone
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even once or you'll get into trouble. Always use a pay phone.
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If possible, use remote call forwarding and forward Chris's number to a number
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you'd like to call only dial "0" first so you have to enter a calling card.
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This will make it seem as if the card were used from his home.
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Junk Mail:
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Add Chris to as many mailing lists as you possibly can. Whenever you see
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a business advertise, "Free Information!" call them and give them Chris's
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address and phone number. He'll recieve oodles and oodles of junk mail and
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they'll always call him trying to sell him something. Get as many companies
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involved as you can. Pretty soon they'll be delivering his junk mail in a
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garbage truck!
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Gifts:
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Everyone loves a gift, even older relatives. Find out the names and addresses
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of all of Chris's older relatives. Look in the back of a Cosmopolitan or
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nudie magazines at all the fun, sexual items you can order with a credit card.
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Send grandma a vibrator, grandpa a penis extender. Send his girlfriend some
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kind of sex cream "from Chris" and she'll get mad and break up with him.
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(Either that or she'll fuck his brains out.) Also, send Chris's parents some
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items to liven up their sex life and see if they appreciate it.
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Oh, and don't forget Chris's boss. He needs to be a member of the Gay Rights
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Club or maybe needs some instructional videos on sex education. His teachers
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at school could probably use the same thing. When asked who it's to be sent
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to, give them his boss's name and tell them to put it "c/o Chris Tomkinson" just
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to be sure he knows who's responsible.
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The Bank Account:
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This works the same way that the credit card canceling thing works. Find out
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which bank Chris uses and call them. Tell them you're away on vacation and
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your Aunt just informed you that your house had been broken into. The thieves
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took all of your banking stuff including your checkbooks, savings passbook,
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and ATM card.
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They'll immediately put a "freeze" on his account and he'll have to go
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through extra steps when he tries to withdraw and money. If he writes a check
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it probably will bounce and if he tries to use his ATM card the machine will
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eat it and he won't get it back until he's cleared up things with the bank.
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The Church Of Jesus Crust:
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They have this handy 800 hotline where you can call in and tell them you'd
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like to speak to someone about religion. They ask you your address and send in
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one of their goons to your house to talk to you and start sending you all this
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religious junk mail. And Chris will probably appreciate the free bible. We all
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know how persistant and annonying these people can be so give them a call! The
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phone number is 1-800-952-3131.
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Call Forwarding:
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Order call forwarding to his line. Then, by whatever means you have to, forward
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his calls to somebody that you know would trace the call, such as TWA Airlines,
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The White House, local 911, etc. For this example, let's say we forwarded his
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calls to TWA which is 1-800-221-2000.
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Now constantly call up his number over and over and you'll reach the airlines.
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Harrass the reservation lady to death and keep claiming that you've put a bomb
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on one of their airplanes. Do this over and over and stay on the line for a
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|
long time. Pretty soon, they're going to trace the call back to Chris's house
|
|||
|
and he'll probably get arrested. Keep in mind that when calling locally, ANI has
|
|||
|
been known to pass straight through to your own number. Find out for sure by using
|
|||
|
an 800 number that reads back your ANI.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Even better would be to beige box into his line and call a lot of different
|
|||
|
numbers all night and threaten them all. In the morning he'll have accusations
|
|||
|
coming from all different difrections.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
Fun Things To Do To Stupid Neighbors:</h2></center>
|
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|
This last section of this file was written by someone named Delta Burke. Some
|
|||
|
of the ideas were so funny and creative that I just had to include them.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
This little article is for everyone out there who has a next door neighbor who
|
|||
|
is, in your mind, the worlds biggest asshole. I have neighbors that fit into
|
|||
|
this catergory perfectly. You know the ones, stereo up louder than hell in the
|
|||
|
middle of the night, water their lawn during a drought, etc... Well take
|
|||
|
heart, because I have just the answer for such idiots.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
1) Next time they go away on vacation, or even for just the weekend, call
|
|||
|
the utility company, Ma Bell (or whoever the phone co is.), and the cable
|
|||
|
company. Using their name (obviously), tell them to shut off the
|
|||
|
respective utilities, since your are going on a trip for about a month.
|
|||
|
Most of the time, they wont ask for any other info except for phone
|
|||
|
number. If they ask for anything else, just hangup quickly and forget it
|
|||
|
as it isn't too easy to explain why you dont know your own social
|
|||
|
security number. If all works well (and it usually does), they will come
|
|||
|
home to a fridge full of bad food, plus no heat or air conditioning and
|
|||
|
no cable tv and phone. Pretty nice, huh?<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
2) If they leave on vacation, and you are a hacker/phreak/BBS'er, here is
|
|||
|
your chance for free phone calls to everywhere! Simply go into their
|
|||
|
yard and locate their phone box. Using your lineman's phone (or a regular
|
|||
|
phone with alligator clips instead of a modular plug), find the active
|
|||
|
phone line inside the box. Run a shit load of wire back to your house,
|
|||
|
thru your window, etc... Install a modular plug on your end and plug it
|
|||
|
into your modem. Now make all the long distance calls you want. Don't
|
|||
|
worry, those of your with a heart, the neighbor's wont get billed for
|
|||
|
the calls after they call Ma Bell and claim that they didnt make them.
|
|||
|
Most of the time they will let you off the hook.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
3) One night, after the neighborhood is asleep, sneak over into the
|
|||
|
target's yard. Proceed to turn on ONE faucet, so that water is gushing
|
|||
|
out all over the place. The value of this joke is that the target's
|
|||
|
water bill will be outrageous after about 3-4 nights of this, especially
|
|||
|
during drought season.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
4) If you have the asshole neighbor who has the stereo on LOUD at all hours
|
|||
|
and the police wont do shit (what else is new), here is the solution.
|
|||
|
Sneak into the yard, and find the breakerbox. If the stereo is up this
|
|||
|
loud, they wont hear you in the yard. Locate the switch that matches the
|
|||
|
room that the stereo is in. Or the closest to. Flip the switch and run
|
|||
|
like hell back to the house. Or if you are more daring, sit in the
|
|||
|
bushes or something and watch them come out. Most of the time, it will
|
|||
|
take doing this 2-3 times before they turn down the stereo.But its worth
|
|||
|
it when you have to sleep.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
5) Do your neighbor's have a barking dog? If so, heres the solution.<p>
|
|||
|
A) Call the pound repeatedly, using another neighbor's name and address,
|
|||
|
but your number. Call at least twice a night for about a week. The
|
|||
|
complaints will stack up, and the target's will most likely have to pay
|
|||
|
a healthy fine.<p>
|
|||
|
B) Get a package of hot dogs and any kind of medicine that induces
|
|||
|
shitting, like Exlax(you will have to melt it down). Pour the secret
|
|||
|
agent shit inducing substance on the hot dogs, then toss them over the
|
|||
|
fence to the dog. If it is a small dog, I suggest throwing one at a time
|
|||
|
as little dogs don't eat as much as big dogs. Spot or Fido or whatever
|
|||
|
the hell his name is will be shitting EVERYWHERE for days. Loads of fun
|
|||
|
for the target.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
6) Kill their lawn. This can be achieved with any kind of poison, paint
|
|||
|
thinner, or even piss. Simply pour as much of the stuff as you can all over<65>
|
|||
|
the lawn and wait a few days to a week. Lovely brown spots will start to
|
|||
|
show. Nice effect. Try writing words with paint thinner.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
7) Do they have a CB radio that interferes with your tv?
|
|||
|
Use the old standby. When they are not home, sneak over and shove large
|
|||
|
straight pins into the coaxial cable to the antenna. Next time Joe
|
|||
|
Dickhead keys up will be his last time. This easy trick works due to the
|
|||
|
fact that it shorts the cable together. When he keys up, it will blow
|
|||
|
the CB right off the table.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
8) Do they park in your driveway or in front of it? My neighbors have
|
|||
|
teenage kids who have teenage friends who parked in front of the
|
|||
|
driveway. I fixed that by taking some large nails (about 4 inches long)
|
|||
|
and placed them on each side of their tires at a 45 degree angle. Two
|
|||
|
per side, heads on pavement, points to tires. When they drive off,
|
|||
|
instant flats on all four tires. Try to get them to not park there
|
|||
|
asking first. If they don't care to listen, then use the nail trick.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
9) Other easy and annoying tricks:
|
|||
|
Use JB Weld or any other metal weld substance on their mailbox door.
|
|||
|
Unscrew all the light bulbs on the outside of their house just enough so
|
|||
|
they won't light.<p>
|
|||
|
If they have an annoying cat, capture it and take it about 10 miles away
|
|||
|
from where you live and let it go.<p>
|
|||
|
Get some cow or horse shit and place it in a large paper bag. Place on
|
|||
|
porch and light on fire. Then ring door bell.<p>
|
|||
|
If they have a hot tub or pool, get some goldfish and place them in it.
|
|||
|
If you can get some lake or river fish, they work even better.<p>
|
|||
|
Place small rocks inside the hubcaps on their most used car. The effect
|
|||
|
is awesome. They will go crazy from the sound.<p>
|
|||
|
If you get into their car, place a heavy guage jumper wire from the horn
|
|||
|
to the brake switch behind the pedal. The result is the horn honking
|
|||
|
everytime they step on the brake pedal. A sure fire winner.<p>
|
|||
|
If you are daring, capture a skunk and let it loose in their yard. Just
|
|||
|
think about the fun this one can make.<p>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
<hr>
|
|||
|
<a href="http://www.cs.uit.no/~paalde/Revenge/"><img src="http://www.cs.uit.no/~paalde/Pics/Icons/
|
|||
|
tafp.gif" border=0> </a>
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
</body>
|
|||
|
</html>
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